Exponent II's Blog, page 233
November 25, 2018
Christmas Book Review Series: On Fire in Baltimore: Black Mormon Women and Conversion in a Raging City
Over this week and ending on Cyber Monday, we will share our thoughts on books that we think you should consider as possible Christmas gifts for yourself and others! As in the past, everyone who comments on a post will be entered into the draw to win a copy of one of the books that we have reviewed! (Choice of electronic or hard copies in the domestic US, digital copies outside of this area). Your comment on each post gives you one entry (multiple comments on the same post will not give you additional entries.) This year, we are adding comments on the Book Review posts shared on the Exponent Facebook page in addition to comments on the blog.
Want to win a copy of this book? Leave a comment!
On Fire in Baltimore: Black Mormon Women and Conversion in a Raging City Book Review
[image error]I asked to review this book because I served my mission in Baltimore, and so whenever the city comes up (Serial, The Keepers) I’m hooked. Reading it gave me delicious feelings of missionary nostalgia, from the descriptions of the neighborhoods and apartments to of course the wonderful people. However, you do not need to have a peculiar affinity for Maryland to enjoy this book.
The book is a collection of conversion stories of African-American women presented by Laura Rutter Strickling, who is a white woman. However, Strickling engages with her whiteness in a conscious way and identifies the ways her race has an impact on the interview process. For white readers, this can serve as a valuable and gentle introduction to thinking about whiteness and engaging with race. Although the author is white, she privileges the voices of the women that she interviews and each chapter includes long transcriptions of black women talking about their own experiences. In a church that tends to elide over racial identity and avoids acknowledging racist history, this book offers a welcome addition to a home gospel library.
Each chapter introduces a woman of color (in one chapter the sister self-identifies as bi-racial, half-White and half-Native American). The author describes the interview environment and then includes portions of the interview that explain the sister’s background, how she came into contact with the church, and why she is still a believing, participating member. Their testimonies are beautiful – exactly what you would wish for from a perfect testimony meeting. One sister, Dee, spoke of how she could not figure out how to crochet slippers: “Then I said, ‘Well I think I’m going to say a prayer tonight and I’ll ask the Lord.’ I said, ‘Lord, I done made all these things up here, and now I don’t know how to make slippers. If it’s your will, just tell me.’ Then I dreamed these words, ‘Try again.’ That’s all. That’s all that came to me ‘Try again.’ And guess what? I woke up and tried again . . . it come to me and I made them!”
The stories are raw and tell of cruel realities of segregation, racism, poverty and abuse. This is not chicken soup for your soul, but it feeds deeply. One sister, Delilah, told of her situation before she found the church. She had been in an abusive relationship with her husband who took her money and spent it on other women. One day in anger he “pushed me down to the floor. Then he pointed a gun to my head. It was horrid. And he beat me up.” So she left with her two boys but “we didn’t have food, no electricity, no heat, no nothing.” She was sitting in her church and the preacher said they needed money for their building fund and that God would bless them, so she gave the $20 in her pocket. Thus far it sounds like a standard heartwarming story about tithing. But no. “When I got home I suddenly realized that I had gave him the last of my money – all I had left! I didn’t have money to go and buys soap powder or food for my kids. I was so upset, and I said, ‘I’ve had it!’ I said ‘This is it! I’m mad God!’ I just screamed it out at him. I said ‘God if you got somebody else to get me back to church you better send them to me, because this church is the wrong church! I have no money left! I gave it all away, and I can’t do this anymore!’” A few days later the missionaries knocked on her door and taught her the plan of salvation.
Reflecting on her conversion she said “God performed a miracle on my life that day because the reality is, I could have turned out to be anybody. I knew what it was like to be hungry, to be without electricity, without money. I could have turned out to be a robber. I could have turned out to be on drugs. I could have turned out to be an abuser because I was abused. I could have run around fornicating. But I didn’t elect to do any of those things. I trusted God. And the day the missionaries came, iw as so happy because God had answered my prayers.”
This book would be a great Christmas gift if:
You feel a hunger for spiritual food and want stories that strengthen your testimony.
You are a person of color and you are sick and tired of only hearing about white people in the Gospel.
You are a white person and you are trying to be a better ally by listening to more voices of people of color. Yes, the author is white, but this is a place to start.
You have a racist-but-doesn’t-see-herself-that-way LDS family member. The topic of the book is non-threatening. It is a book of testimonies that affirm the church. But it is also a book that talks honestly about hard realities for the poor and for people of color that too often get treated glibly by “I’m not racist if people worked harder they’d succeed” folk. One woman talks about what it is like to have her children taken away by the state. Another talks about having a child murdered by gun violence. Many of them talk about the realities of poverty and how state-sponsored racism has had an impact on their lives. The long-reaching effects of segregation and other racist policies is apparent, even after those policies are formally abolished. If you’ve wanted to open a door to a hard conversation, this book will do it with gentleness and love.
Sacred Music Sunday: O Come, O Come, Emmanuel
Starting next Sunday, much of the Christian world will be celebrating Advent – a season of both preparing for Christmas by meditating on the birth of Jesus and looking forward to His return in power and glory at the Second Coming. One of my favorite hymns that captures the spirit of this dual time of waiting is O Come, O Come, Emmanuel. It’s done in the style of a Gregorian chant, and the melody is both haunting and hopeful. It captures both the desolation that exists in the absence of Christ and the joy of anticipation of His coming. Just as Mary was pregnant with our Redeemer, so too are we preparing to birth a new world. One where pain and sorrow have ceased and where love and joy reign.
When Jesus taught us to pray, He taught that one of the things we are to pray for is “Thy kingdom come.” [1] We don’t have to wait for His return to build the kingdom. When the people asked Jesus when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus told them “The kingdom of God is within you.” [2]
How do we build this kingdom? How do we gain the answer to our prayer of “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel”? Jesus taught that whenever two or three of us are gathered in His name, He is in the midst of us. [3] We gather in His name by doing His works. When we feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick or imprisoned, or love the unloved, we make the Kingdom of God come a little more closely.
We have no shortage of people in need. This Advent and always, bring Christ’s coming a little nearer by caring for them. “Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” [4]
—–
[1] Matthew 6:10
[2] Luke 17:21
[3] Matthew 18:20
[4] Matthew 25:37-40
Christmas Book Review Series: Why Isn’t God Answering Me
Over this week and ending on Cyber Monday, we will share our thoughts on books that we think you should consider as possible Christmas gifts for yourself and others! As in the past, everyone who comments on a post will be entered into the draw to win a copy of one of the books that we have reviewed! (Choice of electronic or hard copies in the domestic US, digital copies outside of this area). Your comment on each post gives you one entry (multiple comments on the same post will not give you additional entries.) This year, we are adding comments on the Book Review posts shared on the Exponent Facebook page in addition to comments on the blog.
Want to win a copy of this book? Leave a comment!
For those on Goodreads, we invite you to become friends with the Exponent II on Goodreads! We have included all of our book reviews there, so you can see what we like (and don’t) all in one place!
Guest Post by Becky Gecko
Book Review of Why Isn’t God Answering Me? (read a previous review from the Exponent here)
By Gerald Lund
In a world of confusion, disinterest and apathy, we need answers from God more than ever. [image error]Sometimes we feel as if God is not answering our prayers even when we need it the most and are most fervent in our pleadings. Gerald Lund succinctly presents several scenarios in which we might expect God to answer us and why it appears he is not. He also gives several current as well as historical examples of when God has answered and not answered prayers in the way they are expected.
I didn’t read the book because God hasn’t been answering me, but I felt it would give me new inspiration as to how I could better receive revelation and help others who have similar questions. His book opened my eyes to what I can change in my life to receive all that God wants to give me.
I had a couple of “Aha!” moments while reading this book. I need to have more times of quiet in my life when I can sit and ponder. Life can become so hectic and chaotic and God can’t speak to you if you’re too busy to hear. I also learned to not get impatient for an answer. Elder Lund says deciding to stop praying because you’re not getting an answer is like a child saying they’re not going to school because it’s too hard.
This is a well-organized book with several possible solutions for not being able to hear the Spirit. There are simple truths put in a new light that will help the reader to determine what needs to change in their lives to receive spiritual guidance more consistently. Generally, we know in our heart what needs to change. This book gives encouragement and light in the right direction. Look at this book as a helper to the Spirit and then do what the Spirit whispers to you as you read it.
Becky Gecko is a mother of 5 ducks, 1 frogs and a Caterpillar in addition to her spouse. Her favorite thing to do in her part time is work on her tap dancing techniques and pester the Olympic committee to add crocheting as an official event to the winter Olympics.
Why Isn't God Answering Me?
November 24, 2018
Christmas Book Review Series: Dragonwatch: Wrath of the Dragon King
Over this week and ending on Cyber Monday, we will share our thoughts on books that we think you should consider as possible Christmas gifts for yourself and others! As in the past, everyone who comments on a post will be entered into the draw to win a copy of one of the books that we have reviewed! (Choice of electronic or hard copies in the domestic US, digital copies outside of this area). Your comment on each post gives you one entry (multiple comments on the same post will not give you additional entries.) This year, we are adding comments on the Book Review posts shared on the Exponent Facebook page in addition to comments on the blog.
Want to win a copy of this book? Leave a comment!
For those on Goodreads, we invite you to become friends with the Exponent II on Goodreads! We have included all of our book reviews there, so you can see what we like (and don’t) all in one place!
Guest post by Beulah Mae
Review of Dragonwatch: Wrath of the Dragon King, by Brandon Mull
[image error]Kendra and her brother Seth Sorenson are the Caretakers of Wyrmroost Dragon Sanctuary in this second installment of the Dragonwatch Series by Brandon Mull. “DragonWatch: Wrath of the King” wastes no time hooking any avid fantasy reader with its magical, fantasy world. The Dragon King, named Celebrant the Just, is still seething over his loss from the first book when he invites the caretakers of Wyrmroost to a feast at Skyhold. To refuse this invitation would be foolish, but to accept also dangerous: it is inevitably a trap.
Kendra and Seth know that they are walking into a dangerous situation, but they know they are obligated to attend– can they do this with success? Many of the leaders of the protected territories don’t think that the Sorensons are fit to be caretaker because of their youth and inexperience; they need to prove differently to the doubters, adding to the complications of the invitation itself: this is more than tradition- this is survival. After quick preparations, they attend the feast. What ensues is a meal and show of a magnitude not seen in hundreds of years!
Celebrant has drawn the lines and now all leaders and creatures must decide on which side they stand. Celebrant wants to be free outside of the sanctuaries and he has a plan to do it. It involves a cursed Castle with a mysterious past, a vanished royal family, and a unimaginable contest where winner takes all… if one can win– to whit, the prize is a powerful stone that can change the fate of those who possess it. Seth and Kendra know that to beat Celebrant they must attempt to win this stone at whatever the cost. The fate of the whole world, not just the dragon sanctuary, depends on it– and they’ll have to do it all without their powers.
Brandon Mull once again weaves a marvelous tale with a plot full of intrigue and treachery. The reader will make new allies that will help Seth and Kendra on their journey, and be surrounded by old friends who perhaps, they can’t quite trust anymore. There are new and appealing characters who you want to love, and some you cannot– making a this delicious tale to be enjoyed on all sides, bumpered with twists and turns that you didn’t see coming. Truly a rewarding rollercoaster ride with great females and males leads! I’m already salivating for the next installment!
Beulah Mae is a mother, teacher, wife, friend and maker of delicious chicken pot pies.
Wrath of the Dragon King (Dragonwatch)
November 23, 2018
Christmas Book Review Series: Cast Iron Kitchen by Jesseca Hallows
Over this week and ending on Cyber Monday, we will share our thoughts on books that we think you should consider as possible Christmas gifts for yourself and others! As in the past, everyone who comments on a post will be entered into the draw to win a copy of one of the books that we have reviewed! (Choice of electronic or hard copies in the domestic US, digital copies outside of this area). Your comment on each post gives you one entry (multiple comments on the same post will not give you additional entries.) This year, we are adding comments on the Book Review posts shared on the Exponent Facebook page in addition to comments on the blog.
Don’t forget to leave a comment!
For those on Goodreads, we invite you to become friends with the Exponent II on Goodreads! We have included all of our book reviews there, so you can see what we like (and don’t) all in one place!
[image error]Ever since I was a newlywed (circa 1999), I had heard that cast iron pans are superior to aluminum or stainless steel pans. They’re cheap, they’re sustainable, they can even add nutrients, like iron, to your food. It took me a little while to really jump on board because they seemed inconvenient.
They’re heavy, you have to TOTALLY dry them, and what does seasoning your pan mean, anyway?
I wish I had had Jesseca Hallows’ book, Cast Iron Kitchen, when I first began in earnest to make cast iron my primary cookware.
Jesseca’s book begins with everything you need to know about caring for cast iron but were afraid to ask section. It is succinct, articulate, and a pretty fun read considering, you know, we’re reading about cookware.
But, her recipes are just amazing. I had a good feeling about her cookbook after checking out her blog, One Sweet Appetite. Life is better with her sweet, crunchy Banana Bread Granola.
You’ll want to be sure to get Cast Iron Kitchen because very few of the delicious recipes in the cookbook can be found on her blog.
In one week, I made a few of her recipes: buttermilk biscuits, pancakes, Mountain Man breakfast casserole, Indian chili, pot pie, and cherry crumble.
It was a happy week for dinners at my house. My kids, my spouse, and I loved everything we tried. The fact that Hallows can bridge what parents and kids like consistently is a major accomplishment.
Her recipes have easy-to-find ingredients, and she does a great job of crafting her recipes to bring out the best of each simple ingredient. I couldn’t believe that the Indian chili was as delicious as it was with just pork, flour, pinto beans, green chilies and garlic salt.
I didn’t know biscuits could be so light and fluffy when cooked in a cast iron skillet. And the Mountain Man casserole had us fighting over what little leftovers remained after Tuesday night’s “brinner.” And, Friday morning’s buttermilk skillet pancakes had us all swooning. Seriously, we do not need Bisquick anymore.
A word of caution…I did find a couple places where my experience in cooking came in handy. [image error]Her recipes are great, but I found occasionally, a mistake or two, and there were explanations missing that would have helped a novice cook. I think this is more of an issue of editing than Hallows’ work, and please don’t let it deter you from getting the book.
My family and I are looking forward to continuing to cook through this cookbook. My mouth waters just thinking about what the apple cinnamon baked apple oatmeal and the lemon-baked chicken.
A few years ago, I reviewed Georganne Bell’s The Cookie Companion and came to appreciate the quality of the cookbooks that Front Table Books publishes. Hallows’ and Bell’s books are beautifully designed and photographed. They’re pretty to look at and fun to read. I can’t wait to see what they come up with next.
Cast Iron Kitchen: Over 50 Fresh, New Recipes
November 22, 2018
Christmas Book Review Series: Exploring the Apocrypha from a Latter-Day-Saint Perspective
Over this week and ending on Cyber Monday, we will share our thoughts on books that we think you should consider as possible Christmas gifts for yourself and others! As in the past, everyone who comments on a post will be entered into the draw to win a copy of one of the books that we have reviewed! (Choice of electronic or hard copies in the domestic US, digital copies outside of this area). Your comment on each post gives you one entry (multiple comments on the same post will not give you additional entries.) This year, we are adding comments on the Book Review posts shared on the Exponent Facebook page in addition to comments on the blog.
Want to win a copy of this book? Leave a comment!
For those on Goodreads, we invite you to become friends with the Exponent II on Goodreads! We have included all of our book reviews there, so you can see what we like (and don’t) all in one place!
Exploring the Apocrypha from a Latter-Day-Saint Perspective [image error]
By Jared Ludlow
Latter-day Saint readers may be unfamiliar with a body of scripture called the Apocrypha. Helpfully, Jared Ludlow begins his book by explaining the origin of the book and how it fits into LDS theology. The Apocrypha is a collection of several stories and books that were popular among ancient Jews and were written before the time of Christ, but were ultimately not included in the Hebrew Bible. Some Christian sects include these books in their version of the Bible, others do not. * If you’ve ever found yourself wondering what happened in the 400 years between the end of the Old Testament and the beginning of the New, the Apocrypha is for you!
Some faithful LDS readers may question whether they have any business reading scripture that the church has not accepted as being canonical. Fortunately, Ludlow addresses these concerns in the second chapter. Joseph Smith prayed about whether he should revise the Apocrypha, providing a Joseph Smith translation as he did for the Bible. The revelation he received can be found in Doctrine and Covenants 91: “Verily Thus saith the Lord unto you concerning the Apocrypha – There are many things contained therein that are true, and it is mostly translated correctly. There are many things contained therein that are not true, which are interpolations by the hands of men . . . Therefore whoso readeth it, let him understand, for the Spirit manifesteth truth; And whoso is enlightened by the Spirit shal obtain benefit therefrom.” So there you have it! Are you enlightened by the Spirit? Then on we go!
Readers of The Exponent will likely find pleasure in several woman-centered stories in the Apocrypha. One section contains expansions on the book of Esther – and we can’t have too much Esther, can we? Another story centers on a mother of seven sons, all of whom die noble deaths because they refused to turn away from God. If you enjoy the story of the Stripling Warriors but wish you could hear more about the boys’ faithfulness, and also wish there were a bit more torture involved, then this story is right up your alley. The boys refuse to turn from their faith that their mother taught them, and in response “the soldiers started amusing themselves with the second one by tearing the hair and skin from his head. Then they asked him ‘Now will you eat this pork or do you want us to chop off your hands and feet one by one?’” It’ll make a refreshing change in your next mothers’ day talk, and you might not get asked to speak again for many years.**
The two best stories, in my opinion, in the Apocrypha as explained by Ludlow are those of Judith and Susanna. Judith was a beautiful widow who used her looks and her brain to outwit and destroy an invading army. She’s like Esther, in that she saves the Jews at great personal risk, but she’s also a lot more hands-on. In the story she lulls Holofernes, the enemy general, into a false sense of security by promising to betray her people. She makes him think she’s willing to sleep with him but when he comes to do so she gets him very drunk first. Then when he passes out she cuts off his head, puts it in her rucksack, heads back to the people of Israel, and tells them all off for being cowards. It’s very empowering, though if you don’t like it when Nephi says God told him beheading a drunk man was legit, you may also be uncomfortable with Judith’s exploits. Personally, I like that a woman not only successfully fought off sexual assault, she also saves the day.
Another story that feels very timely in the #metoo era is that of Susanna. Susanna was a beautiful married lady, minding her own business wandering around her garden. However, two evil judges who would come meet in her husband’s house saw her and lusted after her. They concocted a plan to force her to have sex with them, saying that if she didn’t they would claim they found her with a sexy young man. So either she would be killed for adultery, or she’d have to actually commit adultery. She goes to court and the evil judges win, but just in the nick of time Daniel (of lion’s den fame) shows up and decides to question the judges separately, proving their allegations are false. If you’d like a story where women are believed and sexually predatory judges get their just desserts, Susanna will hit the spot.
This book would make a great Christmas gift for a number of demographics.
Are you tired of reading the same scripture stories and want some new material? The Apocrypha will be a great place to start and this book provides a helpful introduction.
Do you wish that there were more women in the scriptures? This book introduces some doozies!
Do you teach Sunday School, or are you related to an avid scriptorian? No home gospel library complete without this companion to the Apocrypha.
I really enjoyed this book and I hope many others do too.
*Note: I’m paraphrasing here directly from Ludlow’s text, but because I read the book on the Kindle app on my phone I can’t provide exact page numbers. Apologies to Jared Ludlow!
** Ludlow did not actually include this text in his book, but I was so curious about his references to graphic torture that I had to go look up the actual apocryphal text. Ludlow’s book sparks intellectual curiosity!
Exploring the Apocrypha from a Latter-day Saint Perspective
Christmas Book Review Series: Dove Song: Heavenly Mother In Mormon Poetry
Guest Post By Lanabean
Welcome to the Exponent Book Review Series and Cyber Monday Giveaway!
Over this week and ending on Cyber Monday, we will share our thoughts on books that we think you should consider as possible Christmas gifts for yourself and others! As in the past, everyone who comments on a post will be entered into the draw to win a copy of one of the books that we have reviewed! (Choice of electronic or hard copies in the domestic US, digital copies outside of this area). Your comment on each post gives you one entry (multiple comments on the same post will not give you additional entries.) This year, we are adding comments on the Book Review posts shared on the Exponent Facebook page in addition to comments on the blog.
Don’t forget to leave a comment!
For those on Goodreads, we invite you to become friends with the Exponent II on Goodreads! We have included all of our book reviews there, so you can see what we like (and don’t) all in one place!
[image error]There has been no greater longing in my life as a member of the LDS Church than to feel true, divine womanhood. Hours upon hours of hearing from leaders and members alike that I have divine womanhood has not quenched that thirst at all because it has felt hollow and without meaning in its context. If the men are to be like God, about whom volumes are written, and women are to be something else entirely, then we must look to an invisible Goddess that we can’t see, know virtually nothing about, and to whom we are forbidden to pray (certainly not openly, where others can hear us). With so little explicitly said about Her, at least in terms of sheer volume relative to Her counterpart, we are forced to gather bits and pieces, opaque clues and flutters of inspiration, and quilt them together silently. She is still a very abstract concept, so it follows that so much of our hearts’ crying out for Her is expressed through the arts. That is usually how people try to make the abstract concrete and discernible.
“Dove Song: Heavenly Mother in Mormon Poetry,” edited by Tyler Chadwick, Dayna Patterson, and Martin Pulido, gathers up these bits and pieces of abstraction about our Mother in Heaven, as composed by Mormon authors, and compiles them into a volume impressive in its length for a subject about which we hear so little. The poems are arranged by time periods, and as Dayna Patterson notes in the Foreword, some very clear patterns emerge. In the poems from the early Church period, Heavenly Mother is simply a fact. She lives with the Father and awaits our return. The poetry is not so much about Her as much as it takes for granted that She is there, too, filling an expected gender role of beauty and domesticity. The tone of these poems tends to be upbeat. Little is said about Her, but She’s there, all is well, and all will be well. There is then a dearth of significant mentions of the Mother for decades until the 1970’s when suddenly her imagery reemerges, but this time with far more longing. The poetry no longer takes her for granted, but pleads to know her, where she has been, and why She has been relegated to the shadows. The emotions are stronger, often filled with bits of sadness, or anger, or loneliness. As time progresses, the writing shows that She is not simply a quiet housewife in celestial spheres, but a tangible force full of humanity, in and around everything, experiencing all of the same joys and pains that we experience here. She is no longer God’s Wife, but God the Mother, every bit as influential and powerful and omnipresent as the God we know. Maxine Hanks wrote to the Mother, “You were there the whole time, animating life all around me,” (“Here the Whole Time,” pg 157). Still, these glorious images of Her usually carry with them the tinge of loss at Her absence in the official liturgy. There is so much longing written into the pages.
Reading through this volume was like eavesdropping on hundreds of prayers. Poetry is inherently intimate, thoughts distilled down to their purest form without the safety of extra prose to cover them. And really, by our own doctrine, these heart yearnings qualify as prayers: “For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads” (D&C 25:12). Hopefully this volume will inspire others to record their prayer-thoughts to and about the Divine Mother, as well. More perspectives are needed to discover Her, and our mutual discoveries will expand what it means to us to be children of Gods. In “Invocation” (pg 155), David Allred wrote “May those who love truth and seek for justice, freedom, and light find that they are Wisdom’s disciples.” The pages of this book are full of attributes assigned to the Mother, worthy of emulation.
It was impressive to see the bravery of the authors opening up about what they have discovered on a very sacred, all but taboo subject. More remarkable to me personally, though, was how much of it mirrored my own unspoken thoughts and feelings. The feelings that I’ve had about who the Mother is and where’s she found and what role she plays was echoed over and over again in these poems. All those things that we’ve discovered but aren’t at present allowed to say over the pupit are shared in quiet verse and works of art, bound together in a book that’s not canonical, but will feel holy nonetheless.
This book will enlighten, and perhaps give you hope that She is revealing herself to Her children. My only regret about this book is that the beautiful artwork was not printed on color plates.
Lanabean is a tired mom who likes cuddling with her cats but spends most of her time in the car driving children around. She thinks longingly of chocolate and naps.
Dove Song: Heavenly Mother in Mormon Poetry
November 21, 2018
Christmas Book Review Series: Letters to a Young Mormon
Over this week and ending on Cyber Monday, we will share our thoughts on books that we think you should consider as possible Christmas gifts for yourself and others! As in the past, everyone who comments on a post will be entered into the draw to win a copy of one of the books that we have reviewed! (Choice of electronic or hard copies in the domestic US, digital copies outside of this area). Your comment on each post gives you one entry (multiple comments on the same post will not give you additional entries.) This year, we are adding comments on the Book Review posts shared on the Exponent Facebook page in addition to comments on the blog.
Want to win a copy of this book? Leave a comment!
For those on Goodreads, we invite you to become friends with the Exponent II on Goodreads! We have included all of our book reviews there, so you can see what we like (and don’t) all in one place!
Adam S. Miller’s Second Edition of Letters to a Young Mormon is not quite 100 pages,[image error] but it is a slim volume meant for savoring and slow reading. The book is written as a series of letters from the author to his children on topics ranging from temples to agency to hunger. New to this edition are two additional letters on the Sabbath day and stewardship, along with expanded material in the letters on sin, science, and sex.
Miller’s work does a beautiful job achieving his self-stated goal of addressing “the real beauty and real costs of trying to live a Mormon life.”
For me, the subject of keeping the Sabbath day holy has become a bit touchy since we were bombarded with lessons and talks on the topic for months on end over the past year or so. I felt like it had become a virtue contest, a “here’s what you are and aren’t allowed to do on Sunday” righteousness exhibition, and I was very troubled that, in these days of so much injustice and inequity in the world and all-around problematic church policy, our church leaders decided that what we really needed as members was to improve our Sabbath observance. Miller helped refresh my cynical view of Sundays.
In his letter on the Sabbath, Miller introduces the idea that Sundays are “God’s way of interrupting our lives. It’s his way of interrupting time, of breaking its spell.” By keeping the Sabbath day, we are able to be more fully present in our day to day activities.
“Book of Mormon prophets and priests focused on one thing: persuading the people “to look forward as though he already was” (Jarom 1:11). This is a solid, all-purpose description of what it means to be redeemed: we’re redeemed when we look forward to Christ by living as though he had already come again. The only way to look forward to resting in God’s presence is to rest in God’s presence now. It doesn’t matter whether we’re waiting for Christ’s first or second coming. Either way, we enter into the rest of the Lord by practicing a sabbatical way of life. Instead of waiting for Jesus to come and the world to end, we live life out of order… We let the end arrive early every week. We let the millennium begin now. We take the Sabbath as a gate that, every week, lets more and more of eternity stream into time until the whole of life is flooded with God’s rest. In this sense, every Sabbath is a miniature end time, a tiny eschaton, a local second coming where we practice, collectively, living as though Christ had already come.”
For those, like me, who aren’t necessarily young but are certainly still “green in their faith,” Miller’s book is a refreshing take on tired topics. Whether or not you’ve already read the first edition of this book (it was originally published in 2013), I strongly recommend picking up the second edition.
Though “Mormon” has become a bit of a loaded term of late, Letters to a Young Mormon made me want to be a better one.
Christmas Book Review: 250 Fascinating Facts About LDS Temples
Over this week and ending on Cyber Monday, we will share our thoughts on books that we think you should consider as possible Christmas gifts for yourself and others! As in the past, everyone who comments on a post will be entered into the draw to win a copy of one of the books that we have reviewed! (Choice of electronic or hard copies in the domestic US, digital copies outside of this area). Your comment on each post gives you one entry (multiple comments on the same post will not give you additional entries.) This year, we are adding comments on the Book Review posts shared on the Exponent Facebook page in addition to comments on the blog.
Don’t forget to leave a comment!
For those on Goodreads, we invite you to become friends with the Exponent II on Goodreads! We have included all of our book reviews there, so you can see what we like (and don’t) all in one place!
Guest Post by Lanabean
When my son says, “I have a question,” my typical response is, “just one?” Spoiler: it’s never just one. [image error]It’s a never-ending litany of questions on everything imaginable. We gave him a Google Home for his birthday last year just so that we could tell him to “go ask Google” when we’re about fifty questions deep. This is the kind of kid that wants to know the minutia of everything, so when I began reading “250 Fascinating Facts about LDS Temples,” he was the first person I thought of. This is definitely a book for the trivia aficionado in your family.
Written by Rebekah Pitts, this book is formatted and similar in nature to the many other iterations of “101 Facts About” books that are so popular right now. The colors are vibrant, the font varied, and the layout is scrapbooked in nature. Each page contains one to a few tidbits on temples that kids (or adults) would probably not even think to ask about, but definitely wanted to know retroactively.
To test the range of the book, I had all four of my kids read it as well. The children range in age from six to twelve years old. My six year old was the only one who was not particularly interested. She made it about 40 pages in before she walked away. For reference, had it been a Junie B. Jones book, she would have gone on for another fifty pages at least. I suspect in another year or two she will find it more interesting. The eight, ten, and twelve year olds all thoroughly enjoyed the book. My eight year old is the one who must know everything about everything, so it did not surprise me that he enjoyed the book. My ten year old expressed that, while she doesn’t typically care all that much about this style of book, she found this one very interesting. My twelve year old was surprisingly fascinated by it. I was concerned that he would find it too juvenile, but in the end I had to ask him to please stop reading out loud and yelling, “WHOA” as it was disturbing everyone else in the house. His favorite facts were the numbers based variety, such as how many guinea pigs a capstone weighs.
So let’s break it down.
Who this book is for: It is clearly geared towards children, but it could still be appreciated by the trivia junkie, the temple adorer, the adult who likes collecting books for the kids in his/her life, or the adult that still finds joy in the simplicity of children’s books. My kids all agreed that this would be a good book to find at a grandparent’s house or in the church bag. Though my three eldest read it in one sitting, it is the kind of book that can easily be flipped through and read in pieces from anywhere in the book. This would also make a great gift for a child who is getting baptized, or possibly even a youth about to turn 12 and go into the temple for the first time. One of my kids thought this would make a great Christmas present, and another said it *might* be a good present, but was concerned that it would replace all the toys otherwise received. These are very real concerns. We must tread carefully where toys are at stake.
Who this book may not be for: While the majority of the facts contained in the book are provable in nature and therefore meet the qualifications for the standard definition of a fact, there are some faith based claims in the book, as well. For example, one of the first facts in the book is “there is a temple in heaven.” While such statements won’t bother most members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, they might prove an irritant for a more nuanced member, a person not of our faith, or even someone who is very committed to terminology and/or keeping science and religion within their own spheres. Additionally, while many of the facts are truly random in nature, such as the percentage of temples that are exactly 10,700 square feet in size, there are enough facts that are definitively pro-temple that this book may agitate a sore spot for those who have a troubled relationship with the temple.
Overall, this is a fun, unique, colorful book that is worth checking out. I personally think it lends itself to a physical copy, but if you prefer the digital version, I would definitely recommend reading it on a color device as much is lost on a strictly black and white e-reader.
Lanabean is a tired mom who likes cuddling with her cats but spends most of her time in the car driving children around. She thinks longingly of chocolate and naps.
250 Fascinating Facts About LDS Temples
November 20, 2018
The Harms of Projecting the Mormon Male Gaze Onto Young Women
[image error]
Last Sunday a male speaker visiting my ward repeated a variation of a joke that always makes me cringe, “the more doors that get slammed in your face as a missionary, the prettier your wife will be.”
All the versions I’ve heard of this joke have something to do with the hardships or accolades a young man experiences as a missionary (knocking doors, saying prayers, being an AP, changing flat tires, days spent fasting, etc) and their inevitable reward of a “pretty” wife for doing so.
My heart rate rushed and my face burned as I heard the congregation titter in response. I looked around to see if I could find any other horrified or embarrassed faces. The young women near the back deadpanned the joke.
I approached the man afterward, thanked him for visiting our ward and for the other nice remarks he made in his talk, then asked, “When you made the joke about slamming doors and pretty wives, what did you mean by that?”
He smiled and told me it was something that he and the other missionaries would say to each other during tough times as a way to keep their spirits up. I was really glad to hear him explain the context and it gave me an appreciation for how difficult it can be for missionaries to stay positive about their work when everything feels like a failure.
I said, “I’ve heard this joke a lot, and I’ve also heard how it affects the young women and girls, including me. It can make us feel like a young man expects to be rewarded with a pretty wife after serving a mission, or that we’re a trophy he earns for enduring hardship. It’s also hurtful because it makes us feel like we’re only valued for our looks, not for our kindness, or our personality, or our spirituality. And for the women who consider their looks to be a little plain, it can make us feel like we’re not deserving of a man who worked hard on his mission.”
The man’s face was instantly compassionate and he said, “Oh, I’m so sorry! I never even thought of it that way, but what you’re saying makes sense. Thank you so much for telling me.”
I continued, “Thank you for hearing what I had to say, it means a lot to me that you’ll consider my experience. From the perspective of the person who is made the butt of the joke, it can really sting. If you’re going to speak to audiences that include women and girls in the future, I’d recommend not using that joke again.”
He said, “Oh, absolutely. You’re totally right. Thank you so much for telling me. I’ll be sure to do that.”
We shook hands, wished each other well, and I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that he was so receptive to the effects of perpetuating the joke. I have full faith in his integrity that he will think differently about addressing audiences with girls and women present, and I hope he’ll also think of what the young men internalize about women from jokes like that.
**********
The joke described above is one of the ways the Mormon Male Gaze is projected onto the young women of our church.
The Mormon Male Gaze (from ‘male gaze’) is rooted in the flawed idea that a young woman’s body is automatically, inherently sexually alluring to the priesthood holding men all around her. She is alternately seen as a temptation to be eschewed or a reward to be given. Both interpretations objectify the young woman for her body. When the Mormon Male Gaze befalls a girl, the young woman herself bears the burden of being appropriately alluring, so as to be a reward to “worthy” young men, while not being overly alluring to “tempt” other men. According to the many accounts I gathered, the projection of this Mormon Male Gaze is usually done by adult women to younger girls, or by women to each other. The projection of the gaze exists even when the threat of actual gaze does not.
From the first lessons on modesty given to young girls, they are educated in the inevitability of the Mormon Male Gaze being upon them at all times. Girls are informed of this gaze by their parents, church leaders, seminary teachers, and sometimes even by the men or boys themselves. She is told that men and boys will be looking at her, noticing her clothing, appearance and exposed body parts, and likely having sexually arousing thoughts about her if they find her “too” attractive. The effects of this projection are deeply harmful to a young woman’s developing self-esteem, body image and internal sense of worth and beauty. It breeds tremendous amounts of sexual shame, which may follow her throughout her life. It flies in the face of other teachings our young women receive about their individual worth, and emphasizes that man truly does look on the outward appearance, despite assurances that the Lord looketh on the heart.
Projecting the Mormon Male Gaze onto girls is horribly insulting to men and young men as well, as it ungenerously presupposes that all men and young men default to seeing young women primarily as sexual objects. It unfairly characterizes young men as walking erections, waiting to go off at any time, in no control of their own thoughts, and without ability to process their attraction or arousal in appropriate ways. It is debasing to men and young men to speak of them having so little control over their minds and actions.
Here are some examples (as experienced personally by the group of friends I asked) of the ways we must STOP projecting the Mormon Male Gaze onto our girls:
The Lustful Priesthood Guardian Fallacy: Young women leaders often prohibit girls from wearing shorts, tank tops, or swimming suits at Girls’ camp or other activities with the rationale “we don’t want to tempt the Priesthood leaders.”
Priesthood holders are present at Girls’ camp in case of emergency, to assist with Priesthood blessings for sudden illness or injury, and to help with various tasks around the camp. There are excellent reasons for prohibiting certain types of clothing at camp (ticks, poisonous plants, scorpions, sunburn, etc.) But telling young women that the men assigned to help, protect, and bless them are simultaneously titillated by seeing their bare legs or shoulders is alarmingly disturbing.
If a man cannot be trusted to be in control of his own mind when surrounded by girls at Girls’ camp or other youth activities, someone else should be assigned to go. If the men attending Girls’ camp knew they were described as being so easily “tempted,” would they stand for such assaults on their character?
Imagine a gender-swapped version of this: “Young men may not go shirtless at scout camp so they don’t tempt the women” and the utter ridiculousness of the statement is even more apparent.
We harm our girls and denigrate our men when tell young women that their Priesthood leaders are “tempted” by them.
The Pretty/Virgin wife as reward for man’s righteousness fallacy
“The more you pray on your mission, the hotter your wife will be.”
“The more doors you knock, the prettier your wife will be. If you knock doors in the rain, you’ll get 2 wives.”
“Stay pure to give the gift of your virginity to your husband on your wedding night.”
Leaders who require girls to accept the invitation of boys to dance at church dances.
YW activities which emphasize hair, makeup and grooming as ways to attract a husband.
“I bought you dinner and was a perfect gentleman all night; don’t I deserve a kiss?”
When young women hear that the most valuable attribute for attracting a husband is their appearance, and that their virginity can be given to a man like a prize, it reinforces the harmful dynamic that a woman’s power is found in her looks and her sexual availability. It devalues her talent, brains, skill, intelligence, and spirituality. It can actually encourage her to compete with other girls, using her looks and sexual availability to get what she wants. It unnecessarily focuses on what her body looks like as an ornament vs what it can do as an instrument, (including athletics, music, dance, etc.) Girls who don’t feel attractive or who don’t receive attention from boys may consider themselves less valuable as a wife, or less deserving of a loving marriage. Girls who have been sexually abused may try to make themselves intentionally unattractive to avoid further abuse. They may feel they have no bodily autonomy, that everyone else is in charge of their body except them. Girls who are not virgins on their wedding night may feel unworthy of a kind husband or loving marriage. Young men may assume the faulty premise that they are entitled to an attractive spouse according to the barometer of their own personal righteousness. This sense of entitlement can lead young men into forcing unwanted physical contact on girls.
Men and women, parents leaders of youth, even youth themselves, must stop making jokes about pretty girls being given to men as rewards.
The Modest is Hottest/SexyModest fallacy
In order to be “hot” or “sexy” (alluring) to virtuous Mormon men, a girl must be “modest.” The typical way modesty is addressed in church settings is less about moderation in behavior, demeanor or speech, and almost entirely in relation to hemlines and how much flesh is showing in which places. So while not showing too much flesh in the wrong places, a young woman is told she should still want to be seen as “sexy” or “hot” (read: sexually enticing or arousing) to Mormon young men around her. But, girls are simultaneously told to avoid dressing in a way that will arouse young men. Which is it? What an impossible, confusing mixed message! A young woman can be attractive and fashionable without the burden of being “hot” or “sexy” at the same time.
“Modest is hottest!” as a catch phrase has got to go.
The women as gate-keepers fallacy
“It’s your job to keep the boys from going too far.”
“You don’t want to be the reason why a boy doesn’t go on a mission.”
“You have to keep the brakes on in your relationship. Once he hits the point of no return, he can’t go back.”
Women who dress immodestly “become pornography” to the men who see them. (As though walking-while-female were a sex act.)
When girls are told they are the gate-keepers to men’s chastity, many negative effects can take hold. Some girls avoid participating in sports, exercise or dancing to avoid being seen as a sexual object. Girls may adopt rigid body motions to avoid revealing midriff. They can grow to have an irrational mistrust of men having ulterior motives. Girls may become ashamed of going through puberty, of having their period, or of how their body develops. They may hold an unnatural or poor posture to avoid drawing attention to a large bust line. Girls may intentionally wear unattractive clothing to prevent attention directed to their breasts or hips. These beliefs can grow into unhealthy patterns of sexual shame, including “Good Girl Syndrome” which heightens sexual intimacy problems in marriage. Telling a young woman she has no ‘gas’ is just as bad as telling a young man he has no ‘brakes.’ (Watch this video for more info about sexual “gas” and “brakes.”)
Perhaps the most horrific consequences of this fallacy are that women may not recognize sexual aggression, harassment or assault. Even worse, by believing a man can’t control himself, she may blame herself for the acts of sexual aggression perpetrated against her.
For the safety of all our girls, we must stop telling them that they are the gate-keepers of men’s sexual restraint.
**********
It is possible that some Mormon men and boys may assert their gaze on a young woman and entertain sexual thoughts about her. Those thoughts in their own heads are their own business, and are not the responsibility of the girl. We do not need to constantly remind our girls of the possibility of these thoughts, or even project onto them a gaze which isn’t there. Our girls do not deserve the blame, burden, or insecurity that comes with worrying about what other people think about them. They need freedom to grow, express themselves, explore, exercise, and develop without shame.
Why do adult women body-police and shame girls about the ways men and boys are looking at them? Why do men and young men talk about “pretty wives/virgin wives” as rewards for righteous behaviors? The lingering consequences of non-consensual, oppressive polygamy culture are still hurting us today, especially in the ways young women and their appearances are treated. Some LDS women seem to have it encoded in their pioneer DNA to be threatened at the thought of their husbands seeing beautiful, attractive, fertile young women. Rather than resolving these insecurities with their husbands, some LDS women tell the young women to cover up and to be afraid of men’s thoughts about them. Men and young men have grown up hearing that only the most elite and most righteous men were “given” additional wives in the early days of the church, and the “women as reward” fallacy has been reinforced ever since.
As leaders, parents, teachers and friends, we must stop ourselves and others from perpetuating these harmful ways of speaking to young women and young men. We should encourage our youth toward autonomy of mind and body, of dressing appropriately for their own comfort according to the activity they’re attending. We should build the confidence of our young women by emphasizing their positive attributes and character as the most valuable contributions to their relationships. We must stop projecting our own irrational fears and insecurities onto them.
How do you experience the Mormon Male Gaze? Or how has it been projected onto you?
