Exponent II's Blog, page 190

#EqualAccess Series Guest Post: Church Accessibility: A Radical Call for Inclusion

This post is part of The Exponent’s #EqualAccess Series. Disabled voices rarely get a chance to speak for themselves, but this blog series seeks to eliminate the stigma that disabled people are less than, and need a representative to speak on their behalf. This blog series is intended to break stereotypes by gathering the voices of disabled individuals. #DisabilityExperience

by Madeline Williams

Below is an abstract painting by Keith Salmon, a visually impaired artist. Various shades and intensities of pinks, blues, greens, and yellows are blended together in a diagonal pattern.

[image error]

If you think there are no disabled members in your church congregation, you are statistically wrong. One in four Americans have a disability (CDC 2019); however, they aren’t always visible. I look like an abled woman, but I have dysautonomia, an orthostatic intolerance disability and illness. At church, you might see me with my feet propped up on the chair in front of me. This is not about being overly casual or rebellious, but rather to access an essential accommodation that makes attending church possible. You might see me with a wheelchair one week, and without the next.

The week without a wheelchair does not negate my need for it the week before. These are not accommodations that you may think I need when you look at me; however, they are truly necessary to make church accessible. 

I will be discussing three areas of accessibility that are relevant in religion: physical, emotional, and spiritual. I hope you notice a theme: that we must always involve disabled people in these conversations. Paulo Friere said it best:

“Attempting to liberate the oppressed without their reflective participation in the act of liberation is to treat them as objects which must be saved from a burning building; it is to lead them into the populist pitfall and transform them into masses which can be manipulated” (Friere, 1972).

Freire, P. (1972). Pedagogy of the oppressed. New York: Herder and Herder.

More concisely, ask how we want to be involved, not just how we want to be helped. 

Physical Accessibility
Activity Selection. All church-sanctioned activities must be accessible for all individuals. Outdoor recreation, like camping, hiking, and sports, has been a historically common church activity, but if you cannot make those events accessible, do not plan it. Even parts of a city can be inaccessible. If the sidewalks are uneven, if there are no ramps into the building, if there is no paved concrete, those in wheelchairs or with other mobility difficulties cannot attend. If your thinking turns to, “This person doesn’t come to activities much anyways,” “They won’t feel bad missing one function,” or “It’s not fair that we can’t do this activity just because of one person,” then you are trying to justify your paradigm to avoid confronting an objective reality that challenges it. The purpose of church is to learn to love better, and you do not practice love when you leave people behind.

Allergies. Those who believe essential oils have medicinal properties through aromatherapy are quite often guilty of infringing non-consented treatment. By using oils in public, they are forcing treatment on those in their vicinity. Issues of consent aside, oils are extremely dangerous for individuals with MCAS, Mastocytosis, or extreme allergies. Anaphylaxis is a life threatening condition, and it can occur when an individual comes in contact with their trigger through touch, smell, or eating. The potential of a trigger increases with concentration, which make oils extremely dangerous. You can’t see when people have one of these disabilities, so assuming it is okay to use these products because you don’t think there is anyone in the building with one of these disorders is not sufficient. Additionally, there may not be someone in your congregation, but there could be someone who is in a different congregation in the same building at another time of the day; the effects of these products can still impact them hours later. There could also be a visitor. The possible scenarios in which these products can cause harm are vast, so it is imperative that they just stay at home. Perfume and highly fragrant lotions should also be avoided. 

It is imperative to briefly mention food allergies. When planning food activities, please document carefully nutritional needs, and ensure there are options for those individuals. Just as with mobility accessibility, if not everyone can access the activity of eating, you are contradicting the point of the activity to unify your community and congregation. You cannot unify when you restrict who can participate.

Vaccinations. When you do not get your vaccinations, you can pass on a disease to immunocompromised members. You can also pass it on to a healthy person who later passes it on to an immunocompromised person. You may not even know that you have a disease, and you may not know you have interacted with an immunocompromised person, because that characteristic is not visible. This can kill people. Get your vaccinations, including your yearly flu shot. If you don’t, you are selfishly blocking attendance access for those who rely on herd immunity. 

Sensory Processing. There are many disorders/identities that involves sensory sensitivities: autism, ADHD, migraine disorders, myalgic encephalomyelitis/CFS are but a few. Hypersensitivity can manifest in different ways. Sometimes it is discomfort with light; simply dimming the light would be an accessibility feature. It can also manifest as sound sensitivity; create a quiet place where they can still listen to meetings in a muted capacity, or even just have silence. Discomfort around crowds is an additional exhibition of hypersensitivity; provide a secluded place where the person can still listen to meetings, and create a smaller class in breakout hours. Sometimes an individual may only need to disengage for a few minutes and then they can re-enter the activity. Sometimes they may not be able to re-enter that activity, and its important to not shame or condemn them when they need that option. An important caveat is to make sure that the individual does not have to be alone to access the accommodation, unless part of that accommodation is the option to be alone. 

Trauma-Informed Practice. Trauma can be derived from various sources, pathways and effects which cannot be summarized sufficiently in the constraints of this essay. Trauma may be considered a disability, as it can severely limit the individual’s functioning and interactions with the world around them. Trauma-informed teaching is an accessibility feature for these individuals. Consent is key. Ask before touching them (this should happen regardless of trauma), ask before initiating a loud noise, ask before sharing stories or information that could be upsetting or disturbing and give content warnings before proceeding, ask before sharing personal information, don’t force individuals to answer a question or share what they aren’t enthusiastic about sharing. If the individual becomes triggered, they may not be able to eloquently express what they need because trauma uses up extensive brain space and reduces communication capacities, so be patient. Being calm and validating the emotions they are feeling will help them feel safer.

Interpreting. There are several domains and types of interpreting. The first is ensuring that hard of hearing or deaf individuals have an interpreter as needed for involvement in the meeting or activity. A second type of interpreting is making the language accessible for those with language processing disorders, dyslexia, brain fog, or intellectual disabilities. Simplifying language, multimodal teaching strategies, shortening instructions, and checking for understanding helps making learning accessible for these individuals. Ensure that reading out loud and speaking in front of peers or congregations is optional. Additionally, pictures must be described for those who can’t see them, and video clips must have captions for those who can hear them. 

Language. In past generations, whether accurate or wrongly assumed, it was taught that it was preferred by individuals to be addressed in what is called person-first-language: “woman with disability”. However, younger generations now communicate preference for identity-first language: “disabled woman”. Myself and others have created polls on social media to measure preference, and every poll has indicated 75% of disabled individuals prefer identity first. Obviously, personal preference matters most, but when addressing disabled groups generally, it is important to appeal to the majority preference. Many disabled people feel that when someone addresses them with identity-first language, it communicates that person is not afraid to confront the disability, thus normalizing and taking ownership over disability as a prevailing attribute of society. It communicates that disability is not something to be ashamed of, that it is not innately bad. 

Ableist language has been infused into the way we insult, joke, and characterize. It is important to continuously evaluate how that language might perpetuate stereotypes, or defend hierarchical structures. For example, dumb, stupid, retarded, lame, idiot, crazy, insane are all common ableist insults. When used, they communicate the reason someone is not as favorable or good is because they are disabled or have a cognitive deficit. Disability or cognitive deficits do not make a person better or worse. The actions are what count. A caveat to remember is that the person diagnosed with that disability can describe themselves however they want, they have a right to engage with that language in a way abled people do not. Additionally, we must find a balance in educating the unintended consequences of using these words as insults without attributing a moral hierarchy to their use. Language learners, brain fog, cognitive deficiencies, speech disorders can all impact the mental bandwidth required to put together a conversation. Reducing their word bank can make that conversation unfairly difficult. Educate and remind broad audiences about these boundaries, emphasizing the avoidance of perpetuating language moral hierarchy, but do not correct an individual because you do not know why they use the words they do. 

Gate-Keeping Accommodations Reduces Accessibility. Disabilities are expansive and diverse; I covered just some accommodations that I’ve seen lacking in my church congregations. The most effective strategy is to ask the individual what accommodations they need to access church activities in equivalent capacities as those who are not disabled. However, do not share private information without consent from the disabled person. I must add that it is important to not vet someone asking for an accommodation, and also to not decide who actually needs accommodations. You don’t know why someone needs to go gluten free; don’t shame them for chasing a fad. You don’t know why someone needs a wheelchair; don’t shame them for walking or standing. Some people may be too disabled to attend church, this does not indicate testimony or commitment deficits. In short, do not gate-keep accessibility; it is invasive, humiliating, and creates an environment of distrust. 

Emotional Accessibility 
Emotional Duality is Doctrinal. A common misconception in many church cultures is that enduring to the end, considered an important component of our mortal responsibilities, means that we suppress unpleasant feelings because we shouldn’t complain, that complaining negates our enduring. However, the practice of mindfulness urges quite an opposite tactic. It is important to pay attention to our feelings, take ownership over our experiences, and accept our circumstances. We wrongly think that sitting in grief, accepting sickness, or embracing disability creates extra suffering. However, Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk, argues quite the opposite: “Conflict and suffering are often caused by a person not wanting to surrender his concepts and ideas of things” (Hanh, 2010). When someone accepts their disability, they are freed from trying to fight and suppress their reality and are empowered to make the most of the circumstances. Duality enriches our lives, feeling sad helps us understand joy, feeling pain helps us understand pleasure. When we suppress the bad, we reduce our capacity to feel the good. 

Redefining Hope. Another common theological concept is that to reconcile with an unwanted circumstance is to give up hope. However, Beth Berila, a director over and professor in women and ethnic studies at St. Cloud State University, suggests that taking ownership over feelings and experiences empowers instead of demoralizes. She speaks here in terms of anti-oppression pedagogy; however, it fits the same when you replace the word oppression with experience, trial, or illness:

“Accepting our responses is not the same thing as accepting oppression. Instead, it is a way of validating our own experiences and feelings, rather than perpetuating the violence of oppression by condemning our own reactions. Mindfulness enables us to gradually understand and befriend our experiences, which can actually serve as a tool to counter oppression. We can learn to meet ourselves with compassion, which can heal the deep wounds of oppression. When we can meet ourselves with deep kindness and compassion, we can also more fully empathize with others, which counters the separation and othering that uphold oppressive systems” (Berila, 2015).

Berila, B. (2015). Integrating mindfulness into anti-oppression pedagogy, social justice in higher education. New York: Taylor & Francis.

In short, accepting that I will always be sick is not the same as resigning to pessimism and defeat. It is not a lack of faith. I’ve learned to change my definition of hope: hope isn’t being sure of a certain outcome, it’s not waging a bet. It is being certain you can find happiness in any outcome. Hope is about making a beautiful life no matter what happens. Hope is about embracing the uncertain. 

Trust is Prerequisite for Vulnerability. A major tenet of emotional accessibility is making space for whatever emotion or experience someone is having, and to validate that experience rather than telling them to “Just be positive”, or “You’ll get better, I just know it.” Some people might feel positively about their disability or identity, and find it a beautiful part of who they are, while others may not. Emotional accessibility means to make it a safe place for people to be candid and vulnerable about their experiences without the fear of being delegitimized or invalidated. Check in with these individuals to ensure that they feel emotionally safe. But also remember, if the environment is not emotionally accessible, they may not be inclined to be genuine in their feedback. The following section includes more ways to evaluate and construct a healthier and safer environment for disabled people.

Spiritual Accessibility

“If you are whole you will argue: don’t the poor miserable buggers all want to be like me? Not necessarily, no. The arrogance of the abled-bodied is staggering… we’d rather be just like us, and have that be all right” (Kingsolver, 1998).

Kingsolver, B. (1998). Poisonwood bible. New York: Harper Collins

Permanency of Disabilities and Related Identities. Religion has a way of justifying bigotry through teaching that differences are temporary and constrained to mortal life. Sometimes, when people think a characteristic is impermanent, such as being constrained to mortal existences, they don’t feel the need to confront their discomfort. There’s much to unpack here, but we will focus on the circumstances in which an individual does not desire to surrender their disability in heaven, as well as what promising a “healed” body communicates to the value of a disabled individual’s body now. 

To say disabilities will be “healed” in heaven says that their accompanying rich and beautiful cultures will be erased. To be told I surely must be excited for a “better body”, communicates their resent for a part of me I cherish. For identities like autism and deafness, saying that will go away communicates physical superiority of neurotypical and hearing bodies. It diminishes their beloved social systems. It minimizes an important part of who they are, and something they don’t see as inherently broken. Communicating superiority of a non-disabled body reduces the perceived worth of a disabled body. Deciding what body is more favorable, “more God-like,” are tools that oppress disabled people every day. What happens after death doesn’t matter. What matters is how we view disabilities now.

Some people may want to keep their disability in heaven, where others don’t. In conversations of disability, identity, and illness, we must find a balance that certain circumstances are allowed to be unwanted at an individual level, while still maintaining that rejection of those circumstances in broader conversations of societal acceptance and inclusion is still unacceptable. Individuals are allowed to not want their disability. But systems can’t not want disability because that creates oppression and erasure of the disabled now, and for those who choose to keep that identity in heaven.

Reject Prosperity Gospel. During one difficult church meeting, several elderly members shared experiences that they knew their husbands were healed of an ailment because of their prayers and obedience. And just a few Sundays previous, I was told that I would have been healed if I had prayed more, by a bishop who didn’t even ask how much I prayed. This thinking is dangerous. In the smallest influence, prosperity gospel fuels self-esteem and shame struggles, and in the greatest, it can encourage scrupulosity, the name for religious OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). We must reject that trials are prescribed to us in direct correlation to obedience. Sometimes illness is healed, sometimes it is not. Sometimes things happen just because it’s how it happened. When we teach otherwise, we isolate and damage the souls of those who have prayed for healing that still hasn’t come. 

Disability in Metaphor. It is quite common to use disability and illness as metaphor for measures of morality and righteousness; such as blindness, inability to use limbs, muteness, mental illness (evil spirits). Although they are not always literal equivalencies, their use in metaphorical language signals underlying ableism and resistance to reconciling disability and related identities just the same. For example, it is immensely hurtful to equate blindness to ignorance, because being literally blind does not make a person ignorant, but that teaching can unintentionally suggest otherwise. These comparisons are deeply ingrained in teachings, music, and the way we speak. You may wonder how I dare challenge a concept that is found in scripture. But, religious leaders are not exempt from being biased. Ableism was well documented in the New Testament, with clear examples of Christ condemning segregation and discomfort around disability. Christ’s radical call for inclusion was obviously a point of controversy, and religious leaders likely documented this through a flawed lens of unintended bigotry. Deconstructing previously conditioned bias while concurrently recording the work of Christ understandably resulted in imperfect scripture. This pedagogical tradition will take work to dismantle; however, the longer we refuse reflection and correction, the longer we are complicit in promoting inaccurate and harmful views on disability and its correlation to morality.  

Christ talked often about not forgetting the one. He told stories about going out of the way, even if seemingly inconvenient, to ensure that isolated and segregated sheep were brought back to the group. This teaching is applicable physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We must continuously evaluate and improve these three modes of accessibility to ensure we are loving as Christ loved. 

Bio: Maddie is a disability and chronic illness activist, currently finishing her thesis for her special education masters program. A part from her busy life of doctor appointments and homework, she enjoys music, plants, and the outdoors.

References

Berila, B. (2015). Integrating mindfulness into anti-oppression pedagogy, social justice in higher education. New York: Taylor & Francis. 

Centers for disease control and prevention [CDC]. (2019). Disability impacts all of us. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/disabilityandhealth/infographic-disability-impacts-all.html

Freire, P. (1972). Pedagogy of the oppressed. New York: Herder and Herder.

Hanh, N. T. (2010). You are here: discovering the magic of the present moment. Massachusetts: Shambhala publications. 

Kingsolver, B. (1998). Poisonwood bible. New York: Harper Collins

Subscription Raffle 12/2/19

[image error]Welcome to the 2019 Exponent II subscription drive! Every day, we are randomly selecting a name from the list of people who have subscribed or bought a gift subscription for someone else between November 26 – December 24. The item we are giving away tomorrow (for subscriptions purchased today) is an Exponent II canvas tote bag. For the next day (for subscriptions purchased tomorrow, 12/3) is a “Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History” t-shirt.

You can subscribe at our online store . Subscribing to Exponent II is the best way you can financially support our entire organization. Thank you for being a part of our community.

Introduction to #EqualAccess / #DisabilityExperience Series

[image error]Photo by Chona Kasinger as part of Disabled And Here Project

The image above is a photo with six disabled people of color smile and pose in front of a concrete wall. Five people stand in the back, with the Black woman in the center holding up a chalkboard sign reading “disabled and here.” A South Asian person in a wheelchair sits in front.

by Kendra Muller-Taylor, #EqualAccess / #DisabilityExperience series coordinator

Disability is critically relevant in all aspects of society. The purpose of Exponent II is to provide a forum for Mormon women to share their life experiences in an atmosphere of trust and acceptance. In that spirit, we offer the stories of women who identify as disabled to highlight their lives and ways that we, as a community, can be more inclusive and bring about #DisabilityEquality. Understanding disability as an asset to society creates inclusive communities where no one is left behind. The disability community’s power lies in diversity and inclusion as it seeks to create dialogue and overcome stigmatized culture. 

We hope that this series will be a part of an ongoing conversation at The Exponent, and we have carefully chosen hashtags to make it easier to access the words of our writers. These hashtags will be useful in building the Kingdom of God in the Church and providing #EqualAccess insights to Church leaders, teachers, ministering sisters or brothers, or anyone searching for ways to ensure they are being inclusive.

Equality is a crucial issue to the disability community. It is vital that we understand the meaning of the word “equality” and how equal access creates inclusive spaces for all individuals in a community. The Exponent has decided to use the hashtag #EqualAccess because it speaks to the diversity of the disability community. The disabled community is extremely fluid because any abled-bodied person can become disabled at anytime. Likewise, disabilities fluctuate and are vastly varied. Many disabilities are hidden or only manifest themselves at certain points of life. Because of this fact, the disability community is a vibrant home full of intersectionality. Disability cuts across all intersectionalities and thus #EqualAcess is for everyone. At the core of disability rights is the knowledge that equal access is for all minority groups including disability, age, socioeconomic status, sexual identity, class, education, beliefs, race, ethnicity, national origin, sex, gender expression, gender identity, or any other group. 

The motto of the disability rights community is “Nihil de nobis, sine nobis,” Latin for “Nothing About Us Without Us.” The utmost goal of the disability rights movement is to encourage society to listen to disabled individuals. We chose #DisabilityExperience to display our goal for providing a platform for disabled voices. True to Exponent II’s mission, we seek to learn from the first-hand experiences of disabled women. 

Disability as a word and as an idea are heavily stigmatized in our current society. Although, there is some discussion in the disabled community about using the word “disability,” for this series and because the majority of the disability community embraces this word, The Exponent blog and the writers for this series have chosen to use disability as an identifying word and not a label with negative connotation. 

The large majority of the disabled community embraces the word “disabled.” Many well-intentioned abled-bodied individuals are uncomfortable with embracing the word “disabled” and may tell disabled individuals not to describe themselves as such. If you feel uncomfortable speaking about disability, please instead take a moment to recalibrate by reading blog posts of members of the disability community, and getting to know individuals near you. To help as you read, there are two language identifiers most commonly used. One is person-first language, (i.e. a person with a disability)] and the other is identity-first language, (i.e. disabled person). These are both accurate. Disabled as a word is only negative and burdensome because society has declared that any human with a disability is “less than.” The disabled community and allies believe all humanity is equal, thus “disability” is simply one part of someone’s complex identity. If you wonder whether to use identity vs. person it is helpful to simply get to know the person and ask.  (Other euphemisms tend to be inappropriate including ‘differently abled’, ‘handicappable’ etc.)

Our series begins today as we present our writers’ experiences surrounding disability. Blog posts include accessibility, mental health, inspiration porn, and new perspectives on disability. Disabled voices rarely get a chance to speak for themselves, but this blog series seeks to eliminate the stigma that disabled people are less than, and need a representative to speak on their behalf. This blog series is intended to break stereotypes by gathering the voices of disabled individuals. If you would like to add to this series, consider submitting a piece up to 1000 words to ExponentBlog@gmail.com

Bio: Kendra is a current law student studying international disability rights at the University of San Diego. While in her undergraduate program, she founded The Equal Access and Disability Rights Commission to provide disabled students with equal access to education and to enhance perspectives of diversity and inclusion. The Commission was created by disabled undergraduates for disabled students and has gathered statements, analyzed findings, and provided specific recommendations to improve equal access. The Commission aims to create dialogue by enacting public changes that empower disabled individuals and also seeks to accurately represent disabled students as positive contributors in the academic community. Find more at equalaccesscommission.org. 

Subscription Raffle 12/1/19

[image error]

Welcome to the 2019 Exponent II subscription drive! Every day, we are randomly selecting a name from the list of people who have subscribed or bought a gift subscription for someone else between November 26 – December 24. The item we are giving away tomorrow is a one year free subscription to Exponent II that you can choose to add to your own account or give to someone else. 4 issues of our beautiful magazine coming to your mailbox is pretty great. You can subscribe at our online store here. Subscribing to Exponent II is the best way you can financially support our entire organization. Thank you for being a part of our community. 

Subscription Raffle 11/30/19

[image error]

Welcome to the 2019 Exponent II subscription drive! Every day, we are randomly selecting a name from the list of people who have subscribed or bought a gift subscription for someone else between November 26 – December 24. The item we are giving away tomorrow is a signed copy of “Girls Who Choose God: Stories of Extraordinary Women From Church History” by McArthur Krishna and Bethany Brady Spalding. You can subscribe at our online store here. The winner of the raffle will be announced on our Facebook group and contacted via email. Subscribing to Exponent II is the best way you can financially support our entire organization. Thank you for being a part of our community. 

A Feminist Hanukkah with Judith Rosenbaum

[image error]

Judith Rosenbaum

In this episode of the Religious Feminism interview series, Judith Rosenbaum, CEO of Jewish Women’s Archive, talks to us about incorporating feminism into our holiday celebrations and remembering the apocryphal story of Judith during the Hanukkah season. She also tells us why Hanukkah isn’t her favorite holiday. You can find episode notes for the Religious Feminism Podcast here at the Exponent website: http://www.the-exponent.com/tag/religious-feminism-podcast/

Links to Connect and Learn More:

Jewish Women’s Archive

Jewish Women’s Archive’s blog: Jewish Women, Amplified

Jewish Women’s Archive podcast: Can We Talk?

Story Aperture, the Jewish Women’s Archive story-collecting initiative and app

Jewish Women’s Archive’s Teen Rising Voices Fellowship

Jewish Women’s Archive’s Encyclopedia

Jewish Women’s Archive on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JewishWomensArchive

Jewish Women’s Archive on Twitter: @jwaonline

Jewish Women’s Archive on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jewishwomensarchive/

Additional Resources Discussed in the Podcast:

The Book of Judith, Holy Bible (Apocrypha)

Listen and subscribe for free below:

Subscription Raffle 11/29/19

[image error]

Welcome to the 2019 Exponent II subscription drive! Every day, we are randomly selecting a name from the list of people who have subscribed or bought a gift subscription for someone else between November 26 – December 24. The item we are giving away tomorrow is a limited edition print of “Headmistress Harpie” by Exponent II Art Editor Page Turner. The print is 8×10 inches and shrink wrapped on a foam core board, ready to show off in your favorite place. You can subscribe at our online store here. Subscribing to Exponent II is the best way you can financially support our entire organization. Thank you for being a part of our community. 

Guest Post: I am a Child of God

[image error]by Christina Taber-Kewene

Today our congregation held its Primary presentation, a program for the children ages 3-11 to perform the songs they have been learning all year and to share their fledgling testimonies about Jesus. I know the program was a labor of great love and effort this year especially, because my friend Jill was left alone as Primary president for the previous several weeks when her counselors were unexpectedly placed into new callings. Many of us volunteered our efforts to help her, but in the end, the direction was on her, and she spent countless hours preparing the children for their moment to shine.

The meeting went long overtime; our congregation holds Primary with a Spanish-speaking congregation, so both groups joined for the sacrament meeting and presentation in the chapel today. It took twice as long as usual to get through announcements, first in English and then in Spanish, to bless the sacrament, again in English and in Spanish, and then to pass the trays of bread and water through the hundreds of hands who wanted to receive them. By the time the presentation began, we were already half an hour behind schedule. The children sang song after song, and classes stood up in turn at the microphone for each child to share her thoughts on Jesus and the Holy Ghost. After nearly an hour, the air was thick with fatigue and parental love. When we finally sang our closing song, the oxygen level in the room was getting low and so was the three year olds’ ability to stand still. I found myself checking the clock more than once, eager for the meeting to end.

And then I experienced one of those moments of unity that reminded me of why I keep showing up to this building. The Primary children sang the first verse together:

I am a child of God, and He has sent me here.

Has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear.

My eyes scanned the children. The littlest ones stood in front, and the older children arced in a semicircle behind to span the back wall of the platform. My youngest daughter, blonde and blue-eyed like her paternal grandmother, covered her ears at the front of the group while her friend Henry belted the words out at the top of his lungs. I looked to my older daughter in the back, as dark with her Polynesian eyes and hair as the three Latina friends standing next to her. My son mouthed the words while his neighbor, a Utah transplant, sang with the same verve his mother always displayed when she had been Primary chorister. My friend’s non-Mormon husband, a professional composer and pianist, played the most beautiful organ accompaniment you will ever hear to that simple Primary song.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way.

Teach me all that I must do, to live with Him someday.

I looked across at the men nominally in charge of this scene. In theory I hate that they sit on that stand. The patriarchy rankles daily, in idea and in practice. But our bishop, one of those Utah transplants, is a good man who serves humbly and accountably. We have had our differences, and he has been flexible in seeing my perspective. Next to him sat a stake high counselor, another white man who is a partner in a New York City law firm. I know that world well—I used to work with men like him—but he is a good soul who stopped me earlier this morning to ask after one of the teenagers I have been helping and to offer his financial support for anything the family might need. A third man on the stand is our dear friend and former bishop, an immigrant from Ghana, as gentle in his leadership as a hummingbird. They are the patriarchy, and the system is flawed, but they are good people who serve our community diligently and without pulling rank.

I glanced at my oldest son, thirteen years old and sitting beside me. He is currently very angry about church. He gave me the silent treatment all morning yesterday when I made him attend the youth service project, and he rolled his eyes in the car when we reminded the kids about the program that day. But as the deacons’ quorum president, he is the one who graciously found a place for the differently abled young man from the Spanish congregation to serve in the sacrament line today and who stood up to hold the microphone for the confirmation blessing for the men blessing the new convert.

All through that room sat both people I have known for years and people I have never met before. I was reminded of the love and gratitude I have for those who have taught my children, served alongside me, led the music, helped the needy, wrangled children in the nursery, organized wedding receptions and funerals, and visited the sick and lonely.

We began the second verse together, half of us singing in Spanish, and the other half singing in English

I am a child of God, and so my needs are great.

 The needs in our congregation are great. Within those walls today sat those who struggle with poverty, disease, recent death of a loved one, divorce, and chronic pain. That is probably true of any group of people gathered together anywhere on earth. And when I hear the words of that anthem of Mormonism, the gospel could not be simpler:

Help me to understand His word before it grows too late.

All the adults in that room, from so many walks of life, have gathered together as a community to teach our children that the great project of this life is to recognize the humanity of others, to love them, serve them and, by doing so, grow closer to God.

  Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way.

Teach me all that I must do, to live with Him someday.

And so, for all the things I find challenging about being part of this community—the heterosexism, the cultural imperialism, the gender discrimination and ossified leadership structure—there are so many others that feed my soul. What more can I say than this: if all I can accomplish by raising my children in this church is to teach them that we are all children of God, working and serving and loving together, saint and sinner, black and white, female and male, queer and straight, then I may have done what matters most.

 

Christina’s short bio:  I am a lawyer, entrepreneur, writer, mother of four,  and wife to a saint who is very patient with my cynicism.

Emptying My Gratitude Purse, a Reflection

In 2006, one of our founding bloggers, Jana Remy, wrote a delightful post about what she finds under her bed or couch in her journal as a novel way to record our personal histories. She writes,

Louise [Plummer] suggested that we empty out our purses and record each and every thing we found inside… she assured us that these lists would be of great value someday. More than anything, lists like these give a window into the past. For example, wouldn’t you be curious what your grandmother carried in her handbag? Or wouldn’t it be amusing to read a list of what your mother found in the back of her closet when she was your age?

https://www.the-exponent.com/whats-under-your-bed/

[image error]Foliage near Buckskin Gulch by Kanab, Utah

With Jana’s and Louise’s words in mind, I thought how much I would like a record of the list of what I am thankful for each year, so today I empty out “my gratitude purse” as a reflection.

Today is a holiday that I am still figuring out; I thought as I got older, holidays would become mundane. Instead, I cherish the (sometimes uncomfortable) change that each year brings.

Today, I am particularly grateful for Maya Angelou’s wise words, “When you know better, you do better.”

It is often too easy for me to dredge up all the guilt I feel about my past actions, both as an imperfect family member celebrating with those I love or as a white liberal in the United States who has swims in the sea of white supremacy. I am trying something new for me now. I am trying to give myself permission to have failed in the past, and work towards creating a more present life instead of just staying stuck in the guilt.

Today, I am grateful that I can gain new knowledge which helps me to do better. I’m grateful for the amazing books I have had the time and space to read this year.

I am grateful for the opportunities I have to go back to school to study something completely new at Gateway Community College.

I am grateful for the Mindfulness seminar I am finishing up this month and the, dare I say, God-given teachers I have met along the way.

I am grateful for Buddhism opening up to me in a whole new way.

I am grateful for being given new ways to engage in my ward that leave me feeling at ease in a way that I wasn’t sure would ever be possible.

I am grateful for friends who love me as I change.

I am grateful for a spouse who loves me as I change and to save our relationship, does his own really difficult work to change with me.

I am grateful for family members who love me and work on our relationships as we fumble to show our love for each other.

I am grateful for social media that allows me to keep in touch with so many friends.

I am grateful for social media that introduces me to new communities and friends I would never have met otherwise.

I am grateful for the Exponent II community, for the special space we share…where we can bring our burdens and our joy as well as where we learn to speak our concerns when we see problems in the community and solve them together.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your dear ones. Please let us know what you are thankful for.

Book Review: China and the True Jesus

[image error]For those who love learning about religion and history, this book is for you. It’s about the history of Christianity in China. It begins with missionaries traveling to China in the 1800s and continues to present-day Christianity. This scholarly work explores the Christian movements that spread throughout China and the key people involved.

I didn’t know much about Chinese history, so many of the things I read in this book were new to me. One thing I found especially interesting, (because it’s similar to Joseph Smith’s first vision) was that there were others who had visions of God and Jesus. One was a king named Hong Xiuquan who had a vision in 1837. “In this vision, he had been given a sword and was told to destroy devils…” (18). Not only did he see God and Jesus, but Heavenly Mother appeared in his vision as well. Page 22 has a description of the vision and reminds me a lot of the War in Heaven. In the next century, in 1917, Wei Enbo had a similar experience and started the True Jesus Church (19). I liked this because it reminds us that God speaks to people of all cultures and religions.

Another thing I found interesting was that the Christian missionaries received medical training. Many of them worked as doctors in China, including the women. I love that this book talks a lot about women and the work they were doing. There was one instance where a doctor was asking for more funds for the women’s hospital that she was in charge of, but the men turned down her request and used the money to build a new men’s hospital instead, even though the women’s hospital needed the renovations more.

Chapter 4 is called “The Three Lives of Deaconess Yang” and focuses on the different stages of Deaconess Yang’s life. It’s an interesting story because after Yang’s husband and mother-in-law died, people weren’t very kind to her, so Yang attempted suicide (which at that time was a sign of loyalty). The suicide attempt failed but she won the honor of the people and the way opened up for her to become a nurse. My favorite part is the healing that occurred when Yang was treating a patient. It says, “she laid hands upon his head in prayer” (120). The patient immediately felt the power emanating from Yang and was healed.

These are just a few of the various fascinating stories found in this book, and I’m very pleased that many of the stories are about women. I was sad, though, to read about many of the things women had to deal with at that time and place, such as their value being tied to their husbands. There were numerous obstacles and contradictions in society the women faced, but I enjoy reading about how they overcame those things. If you love learning about how people shaped history, you will definitely enjoy this book.