Helene Lerner's Blog, page 164

Career Coach: Welcome to April!

It's a new month, and that means a new career coach here on WomenWorking.com. Simma Liberman, aka the Inclusionist, is here to answer your career questions. She will be contributing articles throughout the month of April. We'll let her introduce herself!

I’m Simma Lieberman, a consultant, speaker, and executive coach based in Berkeley, California. For the past twenty years, I’ve been helping organizations create inclusive work cultures where everyone can do their best work. I've helped women throughout the world develop strategies to leverage their talents and skills in order to be seen and heard the way they want to be at the office. This month, we’ll focus on ways you can take your place and space in your professional life — and get control of your career at last.

Intrigued? Check back tomorrow for Simma's first post. To ask a question or make a special topic request, send an email to administrator [at] womenworking [dot] com, or leave a comment here on the blog. Here's to another month of workplace wisdom. Welcome, Simma!

 

Isn't it time to forgive yourself?

Do you hold on to hurts of the past?

Do you hold on to mistakes you have made?

Do you find yourself being too critical?

If you have answered yes to any of these questions, reflect on the following:

No one is perfect.  No matter how hard we try to be, we will never measure up to the unreasonable demands we place on ourselves.

So isn't it about time you "dropped the rope?" Know that you did your best at the time, and forgive yourself for not doing better.

If there is someone in your life that you owe an amend to, why wait? Now, is the time to share how you feel.  The more you wait to do that, the more your energy is consumed with regret. And it is hard to move on.

When I look back on my life, I see how the difficult moments were my greatest life lessons.

Exercise: Say this inwardly to yourself--to the higher energy that dwells within you:

"I am now ready to let go of what has been holding me back. I forgive those that have harmed me, intentionally or unintentially.  And most importantly, I forgive myself."

 

 

 

 

Get Into a Bridal State of Mind

Last night, New York Magazine's Wedding Event launched the start of the 2013 wedding season. Vendors from all over the city came to put their products on display, and overwhelmed (but excited!) brides-to-be learned about the hottest trends in bridal gowns, floral displays, catering, cake design, event planning, venues, and more. Cakes were sampled, bouquets were shared, and the event was a success! We caught up with some vendors, including Jaime Luongo of Elizabeth Johns Bridal Boutique, Amy Marcs of Radish, Kelly Maltman of B Floral, and Cody Raisig of Cody Raisig Photography.

Are you getting ready for your own wedding day? Let us know what trends you're most excited about this year in the comments below. 

–Video by Nicolena Basso

Welcome to Wedding Season!

Last night we swung by New York Magazine's 2013 Wedding Event – an amazing showcase of over 100 of New York City's most talented and tasteful wedding service providers. We spent hours visiting vendors specializing in cakes, wedding gowns, bridal accessories, event planning, design, floral arrangements, catering, and more. We were also inspired by the wealth of female entrepreneurs we met along the way; you may even see some of them on our site in the future! Stay tuned for a special behind-the-scenes video featuring interviews with the best and brightest of the bridal world. 

A grand welcome to New York Magazine's Wedding Event

A rack of bridal gowns waiting to be oohed and ahhed over

Check out these sparkling accessories from Lotus Bridal

A stunning creation from Madison Lee's Cakes

–Lindsay Putnam

Career Coach: Understand the Art of Perfect Timing

You wake up one morning and the light bulb goes off in your head. You’ve just come up with a brilliant idea that could have a huge impact on your company. You’re please at your own creativity and insightfulness. But that may not always be enough. 

The right timing is vital to having the right idea work. For example, you might spend years in college and graduate school preparing for an amazing career, but if you enter the field during a cold economy you could be left with nothing. You have the right skill set – but your timing is off. Prevent that from happening by knowing how to determine whether or not your timing is spot on. Asking yourself smart and probing questions will help you uncover whether you should barrel ahead or slow down. 

How much risk is involved in your proposal? Will this risk increase or decrease over time? If the risk will be lower in three months, you should wait until then. If it will only increase the longer you wait, present it now. 

Will your proposal save your company money, time, man hours, and more? If you can answer yes to all of these, then your employers will most likely be interested, considering today’s economy. 

Who is likely to object? Can you work around these objections? If one of your coworkers is known to question promising ideas, check his schedule to see if you can present it while he’s on a vacation, or even wait until he leaves the company. 

Who would like your idea best, and could they become a powerful ally? If you’re hoping for a coworker or boss’s support, make sure they have the time and energy to back you up. If they are up for a promotion or just suffered a loss in the family, they may not have the time or energy right now to hold your hand. 

What are the largest obstacles your idea will encounter? If your proposal comes with a price tag, check the company’s revenue before advancing. Excess revenue means they will have some wiggle room to work with, but if sales are down they might not have the budget for it right now. 

–Dr. Madeline Lewis, Career Coach

 

Let Go of Perfectionism and Make Mistakes

Do you often try to take everything on at once, knowing full well it will be impossible to give each task your full attention? One of the biggest factors that deters us from power is perfectionism, because trying to be perfect stifles our creativity and our growth. Some of us may be “perfectionistic” about our performance stemming from standards others set for us, fearing that we may not be able to measure up to them. There are those of us who feel we have to be twice as good as our male counterparts to get ahead (and often this is true), and this pressure can create perfectionism. 

However, living this way doesn’t allow us to view making mistakes as a part of our growth process. And when we do make mistakes – which we are bound to – we may become defensive and interrupt our own advancement. 

Our mistakes can be a great source of power if we learn from them and move on. Mastery of a new skill or achievement involves accepting that you will make mistakes. Margaret Maruschak, former vice president of Bristol-Myers Squibb Company, knows this to be true. She told me over dinner, “In my thirties, I resolved to make new mistakes and not to repeat old ones.” I like her attitude. 

Being able to let go of perfectionism was empowering for me, too. When I started to write professionally, I struggled with putting my ideas on paper because I was trying to write “perfect” sentences. My creativity gushed when I took the advice of friends who suggested that I write down my thoughts without being concerned that my sentences were grammatically correct. I’ve learned to edit my material only after I’ve written down my initial thoughts. There is great power in just letting go and trusting that the right words will come to you. My perfectionistic tendencies do return. Even now, when I give a colleague of mine a new manuscript to read for feedback, I have to breathe deeply and remind myself that her criticism will only make my work better. And when I hear her words, I’ve learned to be selective. I ask myself, do the suggestions fit? If they do, I reread the manuscript with them in mind. If they don’t, I discard them. 

Remember, letting go of perfectionism is part of the process of self-mastery. And as we begin to trust ourselves more, accepting our strengths and weaknesses, then we allow the best of ourselves to surface. 

Do you tend to use “perfectionism” as an excuse to avoid taking that next step? How have you overcome those tendencies? Comment and let us know.

 

Pile on the Pomegranate

The days are longer, scarves and mittens are slowly getting boxed up, and it seems as though spring has finally arrived. The return of warm weather is at once intoxicating and terrifying – many of us are now counting down the weeks until swimsuit season returns. Don’t miss out on flavorful meals just because you’re trying to shed those winter pounds – this salad is packed with fresh fruit, vegetables, and herbs to transform a simple bed of greens into a seemingly decadent meal. But don’t be fooled – this recipe is loaded with nutrients and light on the calories. This picture doesn't do it justice...I dug in before I had time to take the photo!

Pomegranate Mint Chicken Salad

1 bunch of kale
1 turnip, cubed
1 carrot, shredded
1 pomegranate, seeds separated
1 cup pumpkin seeds, toasted
1 cup mint, coarsely chopped

1 pound thinly-sliced chicken breasts
3/4 cup mint leaves, finely chopped 
1/2 raspberry-pomegranate jelly 
2 TBSP lemon juice 
2 TBSP olive oil 
3 garlic cloves, minced 
Salt and pepper, to taste 

1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup pear-infused white balsamic vinegar
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tsp ground mustard
2 TBSP thyme, finely chopped
2 TBSP lemon juice
Salt and pepper, to taste

-Prepare the chicken marinade by combining the mint leaves, pomegranate jelly, lemon juice, olive oil, garlic, and salt and pepper in a large bowl before adding the chicken breasts. Cover and let sit to absorb flavor – from one hour to overnight. The longer is marinades, the more tender the chicken will be.
-Dress the kale by removing the leaves from the thick center stalk, then rinsing and drying. Set aside. Combine turnips, carrots, pomegranate seeds, pumpkin seeds, and mint in a separate bowl.
-Construct the salad dressing by combining the extra virgin olive oil, vinegar, garlic, mustard, thyme, lemon juice, and salt and pepper. For best results, use a blender or a hand mixer to thoroughly emulsify the ingredients and develop a thick consistency.
-To cook the chicken, set a stove burner to medium-high heat. Remove the chicken breasts from the marinade, and cook in a nonstick pan for about 4 minutes on each side, or until done.
-Drizzle the dressing over both the kale and the vegetable slaw, separately. Toss each until thoroughly coated with dressing. To serve, first layer the plate with kale, then top with the slaw. Serve the chicken on the side. 

Want more creative salad ideas? Here's a potato and grilled chicken salad, a black bean and pear salad, and a pear and walnut salad. Enjoy!

–Lindsay Putnam

The (Gluten-Free) Recipe for Success

Gluten-free meals are fairly common on menus today – but back in 1998, when Elana Amsterdam was first diagnosed with Celiac disease, they were nearly impossible to find. “I would try to order gluten-free food and waiters would think I was involved in some new religion,” she recalls of the “dark days” of Celiac.

But it wasn’t until three years later, when her son developed similar symptoms, that Elana embarked on cooking her own gluten-free meals. She worried that without flavorful alternatives, her son would never experience the joy of a birthday cake or chocolate chip cookies. “Children, like adults, want to break bread with their peers. It’s sad for a child when he has to eat something different. I didn’t want him to feel left out.”

She experimented with gluten-free ingredients in the hope of recreating her family’s favorite recipes. Through trial-and-error, she found what worked and what didn’t – such as using almond flour rather than rice flour, due to its flavor and consistency. The true test came when she delivered her original cupcakes to her son’s classmates; not only did they like them, but they were asking for more. “When the kids liked it, their moms started asking for my recipes, and that’s why I launched my blog in 2006.” Three years later, her first book, “The Gluten-Free Almond Flour Cookbook” was released, followed by “Gluten-Free Cupcakes.” 

Unfortunately, Elana’s health continued to decline, and several years ago she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. She learned that sleep, exercise, and diet were the best ways to manager her symptoms, so once again Elana took to the kitchen to heal. She turned to the newly popular “paleo diet” – a nitrate-free diet that relies heavily on fish, meat, vegetables, fruit, eggs, and nuts. She launched a section for paleo-inspired recipes on her blog, which inspired her upcoming cookbook, “Paleo Cooking from Elana’s Pantry.”

Since the blog’s launch, Elana’s Pantry has grown to over 500,000 unique monthly visitors. But launching a business is nothing new for Elana – prior to picking up the baking bug, she was the founder of one of the first environmental consulting company in New York, ECOSAVE. “I’m a bit of a serial entrepreneur,” Elana confides. “When I graduated from college I knew I wanted to do things to help other people and to actualize my entrepreneurial ideas. That’s my favorite part of my website – I get to put out over 800 free recipes for others who are looking for tasty ways to address their dietary restrictions.” 

Elana’s third book, “Paleo Cooking from Elana’s Pantry,” will hit shelves on June 18th. 

–Lindsay Putnam

Career Coach: Find Courage, Take Risks

If you want to make big moves in life, you have to take risks. But tossing familiarity aside and thinking outside the box can be difficult, and even scary. Yet, it is critical because this is often the only way to reach your career goals. Taking bold and decisive action at the right moment may be what separates you from living the life you want or one that is less than what you dream. Prepare to walk away from the security of the known and into the insecurity of the unknown – you might just find your happiness waiting for you there. 

Start small before you dream big. Risks are not “one size fits all” affairs. If you are not accustomed to taking any risks at all, then even a small risk may seem huge. First, think about what the risk is you are contemplating, and then measure that risk against reality. Will your business or livelihood go down the drain if you fail? Or is the risk in question a minor move? Understanding the difference can go a long way toward helping you decide just how cautious you need to be. The greater the potential downside of failure, the greater your preparation must be. Period. 

Discover your motivation. Finding the courage to make a big move often comes down to motivation. If you lack the courage to take the steps on your own, then you need to step back and consider what motivates you. Fully understanding what it is will help you look at the task ahead of you in a new light – whether it’s money, time with your family, a better job title, or a new corner office, there’s always a carrot dangling in front of you prompting you to take that risk. 

Know the consequences of inaction. You’ve weighed the pros and cons of taking your risk, but have you weighed the pros and cons of not taking it? The repercussions of not taking a bold stance are often more emotionally taxing than anything that could occur from unsuccessfully stepping outside of your comfort zone. If you take the risk, you can learn from your mistakes – if you don’t, you will spend the rest of your life wondering “what if?” Don’t become a victim – take action. 

Plan like crazy. Courage is all about confidence, and confidence is all about preparation. Once you know what the risk is that you need to take, plan out your next few steps. Figure out who you need to contact, skills you need to sharpen, classes you need to attend, etc. While these measures don’t guarantee success, they do guarantee you will approach your new venture with excitement. 

–Dr. Madeline Lewis, Career Coach 

 

Career Coach: Keep Control During Your Company's Expansion

Sooner or later, every successful entrepreneur will think about growing her business – but doing so can present special challenges. If you are an easy-going and laid back person, you may find it difficult to make the iron-fisted decisions that are crucial for business expansions. What do you do if you don’t want to be too strict with your existing employees, and still stay the “good and likeable boss?” 

You want to stay effective and establish a new system for your growing company without ruffling your employees’ feathers. Let’s look at some of the steps you can take to help your expansion be a smooth one.

Think ahead. If your team of three employees is suddenly becoming 30, you need to establish clear job descriptions, titles, and relationships to keep the company moving forward. You must also think about potential partners, investors, marketing strategies, etc. Successfully planning your next big step will lead to less stress as your company expands – and that means fewer occasions when you must show your “claws.”

Highlight their importance. You can score big points with your employees if they understand that it isn’t just your bank account that will benefit from this expansion. Explain to them how their hard work will result in their own job security – this should help them be a little more forgiving if you do have to get more forceful and demanding from time to time. 

Show your appreciation. You want to keep morale high and you may not have any choice during the expansion but to be aggressive and even a bit curt. If this isn't standard practice for you, you could experience pangs of guilt afterward. Pause to host small “thank you parties” where you acknowledge everyone’s support and single out those who are particularly helpful. Also, this is an opportunity to remind them of how they will all benefit from the company’s success – whether it means a bonus, added benefits, or a renovated office space. 

–Dr. Madeline Lewis, Career Coach