Helene Lerner's Blog, page 151

Three Qualities that Make a Good Leader

On Tuesday, we asked our wonderful Facebook community what makes a good leader. Our followers responded with excellent, thoughtful answers. Three main themes surfaced:

1.    Passion. Repeatedly, our followers asserted that a good leader has to care deeply about their work. Enthusiasm is contagious. To ignite excitement in others, leaders must themselves be invested in their job, cause or project. As one of our followers put it, a leader should “be passionate about the very essence of what they do.”

2.    Respect for others. The ability to listen well - and to take the opinions of others into account - was mentioned as an important leadership quality. Indeed, you can lead through force or through inspiration. A leader who frequently makes unilateral decisions will likely be less effective than one who collaborates with others.

3.    Desire to support. Good leaders care about the growth and well-being of those they lead. To be effective, leaders should strive to inspire those who report to them and to nurture their development. In the words of one of our followers, “To be a good leader, you should be a good coach.”

Pregnancy, Tattoos and Career

I am often asked for advice via email. Last month, I was asked a question I get repeatedly:

“I just accepted a job offer and found out that I'm pregnant! I haven't started yet, should I inform my new employers right away?” In this particular case, the company was providing relocation and a series of generous benefits and perks. It was her “dream job” and she felt truly conflicted on what to do. Keep in mind that Marissa Meyers took over the CEO position at Yahoo! last year at five months pregnant, so it's not that unusual these days.

By law, pregnancy is a subject that can't be asked about during the hiring process and a company can't deny you employment based on your pregnancy status. Employers can't ask if you’re pregnant, have children or are planning to have children (It's a little different in the EU, however, as these questions are commonly asked during interviews, although technically, it is illegal there, as well). You are not legally require to inform potential employers that you are pregnant.

In this case, she was not pregnant during the interview process, which lasted over one month, but when the offer letter arrived, she was. When to disclose a pregnancy to your employer is up to you, but it's easier to job hunt earlier in a pregnancy than later. Once you get an offer, you will eventually have to disclose your bun in the oven because, sooner or later, you will have a baby bump!

I suggested that she wait until she had settled into the job for a few weeks and see how things operate. Then, at the right time, let her boss know the good news. Now, if morning sickness becomes an issue, you might have to move the disclosure date up. Most companies over 50 employees have well-defined benefits for pregnancy and maternity leave. Those benefits apply to all eligible employees, whether they have just started or been there for a few years. Starting a family is an exciting time in a person’s life and most companies will be supportive.

Here's another question I get a lot: “I have tattoo on my arm; should I wear long sleeves for the interview?”

Yes! In a world where many young people just starting out do have tats, most HR personnel and Hiring Managers are no longer shocked. But, it's a professional courtesy to not walk in with your tats on display. No doubt they will find out, and you might bring it up in a round about way, such as, “what's your company's policy regarding body art and tattoos?” Wait for the second interview if possible! If you are applying to a conservative organization, you may have to keep your tats covered up all the time. This advice also goes for piercings and any other body art.

Have a career related question? Leave it in the comments and I'll be happy to provide and answer.

Flaky Gluten-Free Pie Crust Recipe

Sharing food and cooking together are important bonding tools. This is particularly the case for women, who still do much of the cooking in many families, though these roles are certainly evolving.

However, these days, many of us have become aware of food allergies or other nutritional needs. Adapting family recipes to fit today’s health demands can be a powerful way to connect with relatives and discover new foods to enjoy.

Our web editor, Sarah Cooke, recently adapted her great-aunt’s pie crust recipe by cutting out refined sweeteners and replacing the all-purpose flour with a gluten-free blend. Coming next week - one of Sarah's tasty pie recipes!

Aunt Thelma’s (Gluten-Free) Pie Crust

Total Time: 25 Minutes
Makes 2 pie crusts, enough for 2 single-crust pies or 1 double-crust.

280 grams (just under 2 cups) gluten-free flour blend that’s equal parts potato starch, tapioca flour, millet flour and almond meal by volume
1 teaspoon coconut palm sugar (an unrefined sweetener)
¼ teaspoon salt
1 cup Spectrum Organic shortening
1 egg, beaten
1 tablespoon white vinegar
¼ cup cold water

Directions

In a mixing bowl, combine your flours. Using a food scale, measure out 250 grams of the flour blend. Pour the 250 grams into another mixing bowl. Add coconut palm sugar and salt and stir to combine.

With a pastry blender or fork, cut in the shortening until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Add the egg and vinegar and stir to combine. Add the water and, with a large spoon or your hands, work the dough until it holds together. Don’t worry, it’s supposed to be a little stickier than pie dough made with all-purpose flour. In fact, you won’t even need a rolling pin when you’re ready to press out your dough and transfer it to your pie pan – hands will be just fine.

Alternately, you can toss the dry ingredients into a food processor and pulse to combine. Then add the shortening and pulse until dough reaches the coarse meal stage. Then add the egg and vinegar, pulse to combine, and finally add the water and pulse until dough holds together.

Divide the dough in half and roll it into two balls. Wrap the balls in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least an hour before baking. This dough also freezes well.

What To Do When Your Boss Leaves

Recently, I was hired by a client, Amy,* who was in a quandary because her boss was leaving for a new opportunity. She thought she was a shoo-in for his job, then she learned the company was recruiting outside candidates. She contacted me for advice on how to get offered the job.

For four years, she provided more than her title, assistant director, indicated. She had, in fact, been doing her boss's job, department director, and was thoroughly qualified to take over the reins. The only problem was the company was not aware of this. They assumed that she was functioning in the assistant role. However, Amy's boss had spent much of his time out of the office,  (he had an outside teaching position) and Amy had been covering for him, running the department’s day-to-day operations.

Once I realized that she'd been unofficially doing the job she now wanted, I created a plan for her to communicate her level of competence to the hiring manager and human resources. She needed to clearly demonstrate that she set direction and goals for the team, acquired the resources to do the work and course correct when needed. Amy put together a small presentation to show her superiors what a great job she was already doing in the Director role.

Here are the action items I recommended:

Update Her Resume
The hiring team needed to see - on paper - all the things she'd been doing.
 
Other Supporting Documents
Amy created a marketing document outlining what she does everyday, her interactions with other key personnel and departments, her interaction with clients and vendors, and her results.

Include Testimonials
Since Amy was currently functioning as the director, she had daily interactions with key clients and junior staff. She solicited key contacts to write short testimonials in support of her promotion to the director position.

Management Proof
Amy had been managing junior employees for over four years and needed to show this, as managing the department staff was a major component of a leadership role. She included copies of performance reviews she conducted for the staff as evidence that she, not her boss, was in the manager role.

By the Numbers
Another key to Amy's success was for the hiring manager to know that she was in charge of preparing the department’s budgets and finding savings. Amy brought with her financial reports and statements she prepared for Accounting.

Proposal for New Ideas
She also had new ideas and prepared a document outlining several of her strategies.

Amy put this together (overnight!) and reported back to me that the hiring manager and HR team were blown away! She was on her way to a new, bigger and better role in the company.

If you are in a similar situation, keep track of your accomplishments and be prepared to discuss your contributions. You can never be too prepared for a great opportunity!

Are You an Owner or a Victim?

An important part of achieving your goals and living authentically is feeling like an owner of your experiences, not a victim. Straight Line Coach has created a fascinating list of over 40 “owner” mentalities and their “victim” counterparts.

For example, when asked for a favor or given a task, an owner will likely respond by saying, “You can count on me,” whereas a victim will answer, “I will try.” The first response conveys not just confidence in your own ability to complete the task, but also your decision to prioritize the needs of the person you’re interacting with. The victim response, although it may be the result of a lack of self-confidence, suggests that  helping the person asking the favor may not be very high on your to-do list.

Similarly, an owner is often interested in creating, whereas a victim is more likely to be found waiting. Proactively creating – whether it’s a work of art, a garden or a business plan -  demonstrates that you value your own ideas and that you feel empowered to impact your world. Waiting suggests that you don’t feel as if you can affect your experiences and that instead, you let the actions of others determine your path.

Finally, an owner lives deliberately, while a victim seeks the approval of others before making life decisions. Living deliberately means listening to and believing in your inner wisdom. On the other hand, seeking approval before charting your life’s course means you are probably less confident in your ability to determine what is right for you and take action accordingly.

The ideas for this blog were adapted from Owner - Victim: Straight-Line Distinctions for Living with Velocity and Power, created by Straight Line Coach.

Robin: Making Adversity a Catalyst for Growth

[image error]
Robin is an example of a woman who discovered a deeper calling through adversity. An attractive woman in her fifties, she underwent several losses over the past few years. Her grown daughter moved across the country, she and her husband divorced after twenty-four years of marriage and her mother passed away. She found herself under a great deal of stress because her major role as a caregiver had been stripped away. The emptiness she felt caused her to go deeper and what she discovered is a flourishing inner life. By reaching out to friends and a therapist, she realized that she had disowned her creative voice as a playwright by putting her family’s needs first.

While in the throes of loss, the last thing Robin expected was a resurgence of her creativity. Life’s seeming obstacles can offer a breakthrough rather than a breakdown if we don’t try to deny the pain. Instead, we can ask, What gifts are veiled by this pain? I want to open my heart and mind to them. When we close our hearts to life’s challenges, our hearts simultaneously close to its gifts

“I can’t stop writing,” Robin said. “Sometimes I’m terrified about what’s to come, but excited at the same time.” Rebuilding a career in her fifties wasn’t easy. But she continued to write, created a one-woman show in which she starred and had one of her plays performed by professional actors. Reflecting on her process, Robin shared, “It’s taken me a long time to acknowledge my artistic talent. The fear of being rejected was a big part what stopped me from exposing myself. At this point in my life, I’ve learned that if I don’t risk that rejection, I’m never going to get anywhere.” What also encouraged her to write and perform was a commitment to supporting others in discovering and expressing their own creativity. She joyfully exclaimed, “The bigger purpose of my work is to help people understand how special they are.”

P.S. Robin's play Scrambled Eggs recently completed an off-Broadway run.

Excerpt from In Her Power.

 

 

How to Market Yourself

Update Your Career Tools

If you're a busy professional engaged in your career, you may not get much time to keep your career tool-kit up-to-date. This summer, update your resume, bio, social media profiles, business cards, portfolios, and networking database. You never know when opportunity will knock, or layoffs arrive, so preparation is always a good idea.

Your Paper Resume
Once a year, sit down and update your resume. During the past year, you have no doubt added to your list of accomplishments and it's important to include them in your resume. Also add any classes or seminars you've taken or certificates you've achieved.

Your Professional Biography
Every career woman with over three years of experience should have a professional bio. It's a versatile document that can be used in lieu of a resume and it's often used as a marketing tool. If you have a company bio, review it once a year and add any new achievements or accolades, or update your photo if necessary.

Your Online Career Brand
When your days are fully booked with work, family, working out, and friends, you may not be paying attention to your online reputation.  However, others are! Take the time to Google yourself regularly. There's not much you can do to delete old entries you find, but you can update your social media sites (including your Google profile) with current information. The more active you are on your social media sites, the higher they'll rank in a organic search.

An Old-Fashioned Business Card
Do you have a non-company issued business card? Despite the claim that business cards are dead, most professionals still rely on them. I recommend that you also have a personal business card for those occasions where your company card is not appropriate. Be sure to include your career brand and links to your online social media sites.

Portfolios
Are you in a design or artistic career? Be sure to update your portfolio with your latest work. It's essential to include your current work and, if it has been a while since college, remove any old school work. Organize it chronologically and group work by category; this goes for paper and digital versions.

Contact Database Update
Here's the chore I dread the most! There are numerous apps out there to keep your contact/networking database current, so it's not as cumbersome as it used to be. Even Gmail has added new features that automate contact updating. Inevitably, though, you must sit down and go through your contacts, purging and adding as needed. I suggest your favorite music and chardonnay for this task!

Keeping your career tool kit up-to-date can save hours of frustration and panic if you need to provide a bio or resume at the last minute. You will be thankful you have these on hand when you need them.

 

Don't let fear stop you

Affirmation: I acknowledge my fear but move beyond it.

Behind anger, jealousy, envy, and greed is fear.  We are either afraid of losing what we have or not getting something we want: a job, promotion, spouse, money. The list is endless.

When a "fear attack" comes on, bring yourself back to the present moment. Do you have enough_____(fill in the blank) for today? Usually the answer is "yes." Take that in.

Reflect on: When have you moved through a "fear attack"? How did you experience your power?

Adapted from: In Her Power: Reclaiming Your Authentic Self

"Forever Tango" with a "Dancing with the Stars" Duo

 

If you are in NYC and want to enjoy some wonderful dancers, Forever Tango is opening tomorrow night on Broadway. Karina Smirnoff and Maksim Chmerkovskiy of "Dancing with the Stars" fame, were featured, along with singer Gilberto Santa Rosa.The company of dancers were skilled and powerfully dramatic.

I did think the orchestral interludes were too long in spots, but overall, it's a fun time.

 

What Makes a Strong Woman?

We asked our Facebook community, "What makes a strong woman?" and they had some great responses, so we created a video of their comments.  Take a look.

 

 

 

 

 

Video Editor -Elena Havas