Helene Lerner's Blog, page 149

Take a Smart Risk

Imagine that you are in a familiar room with the lights off.  Although ordinarily you know your way around, the darkness makes it difficult to navigate and to find your way out. You take a deep breath, blink your eyes, and rely on memory, logic, and intuition to chart a path to the door that marks your exit.

Maneuvering through a somewhat uncertain path using both your head and your heart for guidance is the key to advancing.  Through calculated steps based on logic and trust, you are able to seize the opportunity on the other side of the door.

Accomplished people take Smart Risks by analyzing the possible outcomes of their actions, looking at the time of a goal, weighing it with their other priorities, and trusting their intuition about the "rightness" of taking a risk.  When these factors line up in a positive way, successful people take the leap.

What smart risk do you know you need to take that you may have been putting off? Courageously take a leap!

 

 

How to be Courageous

A few days ago, we asked our Facebook community what makes a person courageous. Their responses were wonderful.

Reaching for your goals. Achieving your goals and dreams isn’t always easy. It takes persistence and a deeply rooted belief in yourself and your potential. The ability to continue working toward those dreams, even when others are skeptical or you run into setbacks, is certainly courageous. As one follower put it, courage is, “having a goal that is so powerful, you can’t turn off the desire to accomplish it.

Being true to your values. Anyone can stay true to their values when the road is smooth. But continuing to live your life in accordance with those values when it’s more challenging and less convenient to do so takes a great deal of inner strength.

Taking action despite fear. The belief that brave people don’t experience fear is a myth. The truly courageous ones are those who continue down their paths despite their fears. Whatever you’re afraid of – failure, rejection, etc. – the ability to do what you know is authentically right for yourself despite your fear demonstrates strength and courage. In the words of one of our followers, “[Experiencing the] fear of losing something or someone and [having] the will to succeed will make you find courage you never knew you had!”

Get Girls Into STEM Careers

In an rapidly changing world, it's often difficult see what the future holds. As far a careers go, however, it doesn't take a crystal ball to see what jobs will be in demand: STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math). Rest assured that, in coming years, the world will need more scientists and engineers.

Advances in science will create a need for biomedical engineers, climate change scientists and biochemists. Database administrators, software developers and robotics engineers will experience steady growth in the upcoming decades. Industrial-Organization Psychologists and Physician's Assistants are excellent career options.  Environmental Engineers and Sustainability Specialists will have many career choices.

If you have a young woman in your life - a sister, daughter, cousin, friend - I urge you to encourage them to pursue a STEM career. Foster activities that tap into their curiosity, as that's where it all starts! For those students who are always asking why, be sure to encourage that line of thinking. Here's how you can help.

Start Young
Inspiring girls in the age group 11-16 is essential for the STEM careers. Introduce them to science with fun trips to museums, age appropriate TV and Films, (The Big Band Theory is a good start, as well as documentaries on women in science), give them subscriptions to publications like National Geographic, go camping and explore the stars and nature.

Send a Girl to Camp
A variety of science camps exist for young girls to challenge themselves over the summer, from designing a space exploration mission to creating a video game to learning to be a pilot. Starting on the STEM path young will assure a solid foundation for later years of study and career.

Design Something
There are some excellent computer programs available that will give young women hands-on experience in designing such as Sketch-Up, from Google. This is an excellent introduction to science and creativity, which can spark their imaginations.

A new generation of young women needs strong role models and leaders to inspire and encourage them. Take every opportunity to lead a young girl into science. This is one thing we can do to make the future a better place for us all.

Get Girls Into Stem Careers

In an rapidly changing world, it's often difficult see what the future holds. As far a careers go, however, it doesn't take a crystal ball to see what jobs will be in demand: STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math). Rest assured that, in coming years, the world will need more scientists and engineers.

Advances in science will create a need for biomedical engineers, climate change scientists and biochemists. Database administrators, software developers and robotics engineers will experience steady growth in the upcoming decades. Industrial-Organization Psychologists and Physician's Assistants are excellent career options.  Environmental Engineers and Sustainability Specialists will have many career choices.

If you have a young woman in your life - a sister, daughter, cousin, friend - I urge you to encourage them to pursue a STEM career. Foster activities that tap into their curiosity, as that's where it all starts! For those students who are always asking why, be sure to encourage that line of thinking. Here's how you can help.

Start Young
Inspiring girls in the age group 11-16 is essential for the STEM careers. Introduce them to science with fun trips to museums, age appropriate TV and Films, (The Big Band Theory is a good start, as well as documentaries on women in science), give them subscriptions to publications like National Geographic, go camping and explore the stars and nature.

Send a Girl to Camp
A variety of science camps exist for young girls to challenge themselves over the summer, from designing a space exploration mission to creating a video game to learning to be a pilot. Starting on the STEM path young will assure a solid foundation for later years of study and career.

Design Something
There are some excellent computer programs available that will give young women hands-on experience in designing such as Sketch-Up, from Google. This is an excellent introduction to science and creativity, which can spark their imaginations.

A new generation of young women needs strong role models and leaders to inspire and encourage them. Take every opportunity to lead a young girl into science. This is one thing we can do to make the future a better place for us all.

How to Handle Office Social Events

I received a career question this week I thought was challenging, so I wanted to take this opportunity to share my suggestions.

Q: I recently accepted a job a firm that boasts “work hard/play hard” as their motto. While I really like my job and work hard, after a month I realized what “play hard” means: my colleagues go out after work three to four times a week for happy hour, often staying late into the night, with a lot of drinking. It seems that the only way to get ahead is to become a regular at events, which are frequented by the boss. I have no desire to participate in this activity. What should I do?

A: Yikes! I am familiar with this type of office culture and have worked in similar environments. I've tried a few different tactics. This is what worked for me:

Set a Schedule
I realized I had to put in some face time at these gatherings for my career advancement, so I made it clear to the organizers that due to other obligations, I could only make it a few times a month. Period.

Find Other Opportunities
Find the opportunity for one-on-one time with your boss or supervisor over lunch or even early coffee.

Head to a Seminar
When you get a chance, try to attend a seminar or industry organization meeting with your supervisors or managers.

Suggest Alternatives
During the summer, I suggested group events, such as attending free beach concerts or a baseball game. This was successful and fun!

Every company has a different way of bonding and moving ahead through informal career tracks. You want to be thought of as a team player, yet maintain your own work/life balance. I had things to do after work and I couldn't always join in the activities, but I did make regular appearances and I made sure that I spent a few minutes with everyone in attendance. Combined with a regular lunch schedule with my boss, it proved an effective plan, and I was promoted after six months!

TLC's Cake Boss on Work, Family and Strawberry Shortcake

We chatted with Buddy Valastro, star of TLC's Cake Boss, about building a fulfilling career, finding balance and advice he'd give his daughter. Here's what he had to say!

1. Carlo’s Bakery was a family business and you worked there beginning at a young age, alongside your father. What values did he instill in you?

I basically grew up at the bakery. I was at my father’s side everyday learning from him. He taught me the importance of working hard, of never giving up. He told me not to listen to people who said I couldn’t do it.

Not only did he teach me everything I know about baking, but he was a great businessman and he taught me how to run and grow a business.

2. How does it feel to continue the family business and take it to new levels of success?

I am so proud to be able to carry on and grow the business that my father started. You know, I was just 17 when I took over the bakery and not everybody thought I could keep it afloat without my father. Not only did I keep it going, I worked to grow the bakery into a household name, which is something my father and I always wanted.

                                          
 
3. Working with your father significantlty influenced your career path. What advice would you give to your children – especially your daughter – about choosing a career and building a satisfying life?

I want all my kids to know the importance of being a hard worker. I tell them, once they find something they’re passionate about, if it’s baking or something else, be the hardest worker you can be. That’s professionally, now personally, my wife and I have instilled the importance of family in our kids. Making time for family, taking care of your family, that will always be the most important thing.

4. You work with a lot of women – what unique contributions do you think the women make to the business?

You know, I’m outnumbered. I’m the only boy in my family. I work with my sisters every day at the bakery and even though my mother is retired, she’s at the bakery every morning checking up on everyone. I really value their opinions. They’re able to look at cakes and projects in different ways and it’s really helpful to hear their different perspectives on the business.

                                       

5. With children, a bakery and a TV show, how do you and your wife stay connected? How do you carve out time for the family?

Family is everything to me, so no matter how busy I get, how many projects I have going on, I always make time to spend with my wife and kids. We like to be at home together cooking, eating, just hanging out.

6. What is one of your favorite recipes that anyone can do fairly quickly? We deal with busy career women.

My strawberry shortcake is a great dessert that looks hard but really is pretty simple. After you bake the cakes, it’s just a matter of layering the cream and strawberries!

7. Anything else?

I just want to end by saying that you should never listen to anyone who says you can’t do something. Once you start to believe those people, the game is over. Keep working, practicing, getting better. If you work harder than everyone else, you’ll be the best out there.

 

 

 

Let go of petty grievances

Affirmation: I let go of petty grievances and enjoy closer connections.

It's easy to get caught up in the petty occurences of the day: a loved one speaking in a harsh tone, a child making his 20th demand of the hour, a friend overlooking a special invitation.  When things come up, (and they always do), we have a choice. We can either become irritated by them, or we can let them go and move on.

Detaching from these type of disturbances isn't easy. And many of us react angrily out of habit. Often, we are not aware of the toll these outbursts take on ourselves, our families, and our friends. But it is possible to change this behavior.

When you are bothered in this way, you can ask yourself: How important is the incident when compared to my serenity? Isn't it more important to have satisfying relationships with my family and friends than to dwell on minor irritations?

When situations are seen in this context, we can move on. 

How can you see the larger picture when a minor irratation with someone close to you surfaces?

Want to See Fabulous Bridal Dresses?

We visited Adrienne's, a bridal shop on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, and met with owner Maryann Greco. She showed us around as we watched Annie Cofone getting fitted for her wedding dress. Her fiance proposed to her on a boat in Istanbul.

Enjoy!

 

Video editor - Elena Havas

How to Find a Sponsor

One of the biggest advantages of building your network of colleagues is having sponsors, or advocates, in your corner. Networking is the process of building and maintaining professional relationships over a period of time. But it takes work and meeting someone at an event and exchanging business cards is not actually networking. When key contacts in your network know, like and trust you, that's when the magic starts!

When a promising position or promotion becomes available, your chances of being considered go up exponentially if a key stakeholder recommends you (some 67% of jobs are filled by referrals). 

I've had several sponsors in my career and I am truly grateful for their advocacy. Here’s what I did to get them on my team.

Industry Organizations
You're probably aware of the importance of joining relevant organizations - but you might not realize how powerful they can be in strengthening relationships you have now. I researched the largest industry organization in my city, only to discover that I was already working with one of the board members! What great luck! He was well-connected to the movers and shakers in town. Since we worked together, I scheduled a lunch and let him know that I was thinking of joining. Once I joined, I volunteered for the membership committee and brought in a meeting sponsor. He noticed my extra efforts right and, nine months later, he recommended me for the board of directors.

When I look back, I was leaning in!

Increase Your Visibility
Your network can't recommend you if they don't know you. Setting coffee meetings is one sure-fire way to get some face time with your key contacts. Don’t stop at a single coffee date, though – be sure to keep in touch. And remember, networking is a two-way street! Make an offer to help them too! Sponsors are more likely to give you a recommendation if they feel you appreciate the help they give you.

Go the Extra Mile
Find situations where you can go the extra mile to lend a hand to your key contacts. This doesn’t have to be a work-related project. In fact, offering to help your sponsor out with a personal project, like fundraising for their favorite charity or non-profit, is a great way to strengthen the relationship. I once offered to manage the office remodel and my boss remembered my extra effort during my annual review. I got a raise and bonus!

You don't have to work for (or even really like) someone for them to recommend you. The easiest way to get noticed is to JOIN. Once I started joining professional organizations, the people I sat on committees with recognized that I was proactive, ambitious, and qualified.

Note to introverts: start small. If you really don't care for networking, I recommend Toastmasters, an organization that can help you become a polished speaker and confident networker.

How to Be a Strong Woman

Roseanne Barr has a great quote. She says, “Nobody gives you your power. You just take it.” But how exactly do you do that? We asked our Facebook community what has contributed to their inner strength. Their responses were brilliant – and fell generally into three main categories.

Recovering from failure. The fear of failure holds us back and prevents us from reaching our highest potential. But, as one Facebook follower said, “failing and learning to grow from it” helps us to realize how strong we really are.

Self-acceptance. Trying to please others rather than live authentically often makes us feel trapped and helpless. Accepting and celebrating ourselves as we are – having “faith in [your] right to be here, the same as the stars and the trees,” as one follower put it – gives you a sense of confidence that creates greater inner strength.

Support. Being strong doesn’t mean being a lone wolf. If you’re going through a difficult time, turn to family and friends for encouragement and reassurance. They may also give you an outside perspective that can help you find the lesson in the adversity.

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