Helene Lerner's Blog, page 126

Career Coach: Welcome to January

I'm Andrea Zintz, your Career Coach for January. I am once again happy to be your resource for ways to navigate workplace, relationships and career.

A little about me: I specialize in executive and high potential leadership strategy, succession and development. I have over 30 years experience in Leadership Development, Change Management, Human Resources Development and Training. For over 13 years, I have consulted to large corporations on leadership, team, and organization development.

My clients are in technology, diversified healthcare and pharmaceutical, advertising, financial, commercial real estate, and retail industries and many are global corporations. I've been a Vice President of Human Resources and Management Board member for a Johnson & Johnson company and have led their corporate executive leadership development for North America. My
special interests include executive women advancement, diversity/inclusion, and mentoring. I received my M.A. and Ph.D. from Fielding Graduate University.

A specialty of mine is crafting powerful and strategic questions we can ask ourselves (and others) to access the best thinking. I also believe that our emotions are essential to our ability to meet our psychological needs and to adapt successfully to our environments and challenges. I offer plenty of tips for doing this through storytelling, answering your questions, and sharing great ideas I hear from others.

I especially enjoy coaching and my goal is to make a difference every day. I live in New Jersey, am married to an elementary school teacher and have two wonderful daughters, 18 and 21.

Please feel free to comment with any questions or special requests. I look forward to a great month!

–Andrea Zintz, Career Coach

The New Year Means New Ways to Boldly Step Up

We asked our Facebook community, "How will you step out of your comfort zone in the new year?" Here are some of their inspiring responses.

Sue Bullock Garver: Do things to take care of me, instead of always taking care of others.

Tonya Shemelle: Starting my own practice.

Ivy Pittman: Just be bold!

Vanetha Ravindran: Get rid of the fear of being left by people I love. Try hard to love myself first.

Michelle Braden: Following my heart to happiness. Letting go of fear and making life changes.

Kellie Thomas: Be ME!

Kathy Olson: By trying to do something every day to take care of myself, and not feeling guilty.

Lori Knoche Nosek: I'm taking swim lessons.

Corina Chiran: Listening more.

Ronna Whitaker: I will be more assertive.

Lori Guge: Moving out on my own after 16 years!

Jennifer Leipold Puhatch: Taking care of me. I’m going to start living instead of just surviving.

Debbe Livesay: I'm going to try to paint!

Yolanda Michelle Martin: By learning everything I need to know to make my own developing company successful and sharing my knowledge to help other businesses.

Loretta Brown: I lost my job four months ago due to a work related injury. I’m tired of being a victim and I’m going to try to turn my life around! Starting with attempting a new home-based business.

Amanda Dodd: Ask for what I want. Do it more often.

Katie Walthall Mehnert: Writing a book.

What You Need to do to Make Resolutions Stick

When we make a resolution, there is a sense of confidence that there will be a victorious or successful outcome. However, when that is declared without first preparing the mind, you may win the battle but lose the war. Hence a resolution should not be a weak commitment made in the excitement of the New Year hype.

Resolutions require a winning attitude and mental preparation to empower yourself to conquer the insecurities within. You must combine the power of intellect with the passion of heart. 

Intellect is brilliant for reasoning whereas the heart ignites creativity. The strengths of the intellect are rationalizing and analyzing, whereas the strength of the heart is envisioning the big picture to bring it all together.

Those who rely on intellect alone run out of enthusiasm and those who rely on heart alone lose touch with reality. 

Intellect is ideal for the mechanical nuts and bolts that create structure and order.  Following are questions to consider to fine tune the intellect:

Who can help you achieve the results?  Is there someone you know who is looking to obtain a similar goal or has already accomplished what you want to achieve?  Form a partnership.
What actions can you take today to achieve the result? Even the smallest actions are significant.
Where will you find the resources to achieve the results? Resources are time, money, enthusiasm, attention and continuous support.
Why is the resolution important to you?  When one has a big enough “why,” moving forward becomes easier. 

Results follow when your plan is fueled with a heart full of dreams. Let us now take a look at how to support those dreams.

Believe in yourself, as you are the force that will find the way to dreaming and succeeding.
Find ways to be inspired.
Visualize the outcome you want.
Make time to daydream. 
Know yourself—discover who you are.
Honor yourself and have fun. Self-criticism is the number one block to achieving success. Catch yourself in the act of winning and pat yourself on the back.

-Neerja Bhatia
Transformational Leadership Coach & Author
Founder, Rhythm of Success
www.rhythmofsuccess.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/neerjaarorabhatia

Cat Cora on Food, Family and Success

We spoke with the Food Network's Cat Cora about her early influences, her career success and the importance of giving back. Here are her insights--along with a recipe that's great for a New Year's get-together.

You had a business plan for your own restaurant at age 15. What is it that drew you to food and cooking as a career? Was there anyone early on who saw something in you that you didn't see in yourself?

My parents and my godfather definitely did. I loved the energy of restaurants my godfather had. We were a big cooking family, being Greek American in the Southern culture. 

Julia Child was a mentor of yours. How did she influence your career?  

Julia was an incredible influence, along with my family. It only takes one person to tell you that you can be anything you want to be. I was lucky to have Julia Child be one of them. 

What has been the most rewarding aspect of your career?

Being able to travel all over the world with my wife and kids, exploring different cultures and cuisines. My career has allowed us to see the world. I love to inspire and teach--and I have a platform to do that. 

What would you tell your younger self about building a successful and fulfilling career?

To do exactly what I did except with more patience, faith and at times, more grace. To savor the journey more.  

You founded Chefs for Humanity, an organization that gathers the culinary community to raise funds for hunger-related causes, and you were named a spokesperson by UNICEF. Why is it important to you to give back? 

Giving back has always been important to me—and to my family. My parents were terrific role models.  And I believe when you reach a level of notoriety, you have a responsibility to use it to serve others. I started my charity to build an even larger platform to serve. 

Was there a time in your career when you didn't feel completely confident, but stepped up and took a risk anyway? What was the result?

Oh, are you kidding? Most of my early career, leaving to go to culinary school, then heading to France to cook with two three-star Michelin chefs, my first TV show. It was all scary. I was terrified at times but I did step up and took risks. I had a passion, a determination and I used that to propel me. 

Crab and Avocado “Sandwiches” with Mango Coulis

Serves 4-6

Ingredients

2 cups canola oil

½ pound Maine or Dungeness crabmeat

3 tablespoons red onion, finely chopped

2 tablespoons scallions, thinly slices

11/2 tablespoon red bell pepper, finely diced

¼ cup mayonnaise or aioli

1 tablespoon Tabasco

1 ¼ cup breadcrumbs

2 TBS cup lemon juice

1 ½ tablespoon Worcestershire

1 cup flour

½ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon pepper

1 beaten egg

Directions

In a 10 inch sauté pan, heat 1 cup canola oil on high heat. Test readiness with a piece of bread.  Turn heat to medium. Check temperature with thermometer it should read 375 degrees. In a medium mixing bowl, combine crab, onion, scallions, bell pepper, mayonnaise, Tabasco, breadcrumbs, lemon juice and Worcestershire sauce. Mix until fully incorporated. Make 3 ounce cakes and dredge in the flour, then egg and the remaining breadcrumbs. Lay the cakes in the oil and pan fry for 5-6 minutes. Remove and place on a paper towel and season with salt in a mixing bowl. 

Avacado Salsa

2 avocado

2 tablespoons lime juice

1 tablespoons cilantro

2 tablespoon red onion, finely diced

1 tablespoon olive oil

¼ teaspoon salt

In a medium mixing bowl, combine all ingredients. Mix well and refrigerate until ready to use.

Mango Coulis

2 mangos

2 cups water

1 teaspoon confectioner sugar

In a blender combine ingredients and mix until smooth. Refrigerate until ready to use.

To serve crab cakes, spoon puree onto the plate in a small pool. Slice the cake in half and lay the bottom portion in the puree.  Spoon avocado on top and place the top of the cake on the avocado like a sandwich. Top with a small amount of avocado and garnish with cilantro leaf.

Vienna Teng on Confidence, Authenticity & Success

We spoke with singer-songwriter Vienna Teng. She began her career as a software engineer, then switched to music and recently completed a Master’s program in sustainable business. Her goal is to work with companies adapting to sustainable practices. Here are her insights.

Was there someone early on who saw something in you that you didn’t see in yourself?

When I was in high school, I joined the mock trial team. I was a witness my first year, I just thought it would be fun to learn how the legal system works. I eventually became a prosecuting attorney. The coach was a professional lawyer and he said, “You know, if you wanted to go into law, you could be really good at it.” It meant a lot, because I had never imagined myself excelling in that field.

Switching from software engineering to music, and now starting in business business--those were big changes. What gave you the courage to do that, and what has it taught you about taking risks?

The biggest gift I got when I was younger was a sense of “adaptive confidence”--meaning that you’re good at adjusting and taking on new things. Being a songwriter was useful, as well. I learned to lead teams, complete projects on time and manage budgets--all skills that were valuable when I was applying for internships in business school and jobs.  In terms of making a change or taking a risk, identifying what’s relevant from you past experience is helpful.  So is telling a coherent story. When you're in an interview, if you can authentically explain why you’re switching course, you don’t have to sell a fake version of yourself--your motivations will create a cohesive narrative on their own.

Have you ever had doubts about your ability to do something new? What helped you overcome them?

When I was studying software engineering, I’d often think, “I’ve been getting A’s in these classes but I feel like I have no idea how to program.” Meanwhile, I’m sure a lot of my classmates who were getting the same grades were thinking, “Oh yeah, I know this stuff.” But I’m lucky that I’ve had a lot of people reinforcing the message that I am capable.

What would you say about promoting women leaders in the fields you’ve been involved with?

There are still various forms of sexism in the workplace, but that’s actually only one dimension of the challenge. I think as women, we can limit ourselves, too, as Sheryl Sandberg talks about. But when we’re put in situations that challenge us to take the next step--or when someone tells us, “You may not imagine yourself in this role, but I see the potential in you,”--we feel encouraged. I led a group of 80 students in a business school competition. It was terrifying, but it was a low-risk situation, so it was good practice. Even though I’ve never had the ambition of being a leader in business, the exercise made me think that, with enough experience, I could competently head an organization.

What would you tell your younger self about building a fulfilling career?

Make a plan and then start carrying it out. It doesn’t matter if you’re fully committed to doing the plan all the way, but it’s important to take the first steps. You might start down the path and realize it’s not what you want to do, but it can introduce you to something that that you find yourself really interested in.

-Sarah Cooke

The Qualities You Need to Find Creative Solutions

If you're feeling stuck and want to make a change, keeping your attention on what is wrong in your world will only add to the chaos because that skewed view of reality is projected by a mindset of dissatisfaction. That mindset is often the very thing that creates your problems in the first place. As you engage with feelings of dissatisfaction, the mind’s ability to connect the dots and view possibilities collapses, resulting in a complete disconnection from your creativity.

Without a heart filled with gratitude, it is next to impossible to fire up your genius or experience grace.

The most difficult aspect of sustaining an attitude of gratitude is overcoming the belief that gratitude is dependent upon something outside yourself. The truth is, it is an internal experience and not an external one. The internal reality impacts the external reality–the more grateful you feel, the less you resist and the more open you become to creative solutions. A grateful mind opens up to opportunities.

Gratitude is a conscious choice made in each moment. Exactly how would one go about creating the mindset of gratitude?

When you feel overwhelmed, upset or irritated remember to:

Accept – it takes far less energy to accept the situation than to resist.


Cherish – bring your attention to things that are important to you.


Transform – by fully cherishing, your heart will become open to the possibility of  transforming the challenging feelings. 

Each one of you will experience transformation in a unique way, perhaps a subtle or a profound feeling of satisfaction or a sudden insight or a creative impulse driving you to an inspired action.

-Neerja Bhatia
Transformational Leadership Coach & Author
Founder, Rhythm of Success
www.rhythmofsuccess.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/neerjaarorabhatia

What Friends Need to Hear to Get Through Hardship

We asked our Facebook community, "What would  you tell a friend who is very disappointed about the state of her life?" Here are some of their thoughtful insights:

Nancy Lazarus Taylor: Forgive the self that got her into this place, embrace that part and together chart a new path. It's hard, but it's a journey you must take with forgiveness, compassion and love.

BJ Dowlen: Volunteer to help the less fortunate. It restores your soul.

Sandi Schwartz Neiman: Make a commitment to make small changes that bring you happiness! Take stock of what you have, let whatever doesn't serve you anymore go and set some small, achievable goals that you can celebrate. One day at a time.

Taresa Mikle Currently: I'd just encourage them to hold on and tell them that things WILL get better. Life is full of trials and triumphs, but we've got to keep a positive, resilient attitude!

Alyson Miller-Greenfield: Don't be afraid of letting go of what does not serve and starting over!!!

Kevin Hutchens: I would listen to them, praise and encourage them for all their skills and abilities and remind them tomorrow is another day.

Julie Jakopic: Take a deep breath, be gentle with yourself, and just take one small step forward and then another.

Sally Smith: Make a gratitude list and then make a list of things that aren't so great that you'd like to change. Make small changes every day/week and keep a gratitude journal.

Elaine Crocker: Have courage to change what you can, accept what you cannot and have the wisdom to know the difference.

Marilyn Justice: Today is your new beginning.

Karen Bowman: Life gets better.

Vane Solis: All passes. Work for better things. This is a phase.

Enjoy This Holiday Wisdom from Our Community

Happy holidays from WomenWorking! We asked our Facebook community, "If you could decorate a tree with the best piece of advice you ever got, what would that be?" Here are some of their insights:

Mary Kosco Dahlin: Live in the moment.

Heather Palleiko: Be yourself.

Y'von Nannette Morgan-Hawkins: Don't sweat the small stuff!

Lisa Mazzola: Slow down and breath in life!

Sandra Mzobe: Do something that your future self will be thankful for.

Ashley Moran: Be the good you wish to see in the world.

Nicole Cheeks Kegler: It's what's in your heart that matters.

Carrie Lynn Atkins: Love always. Don’t give up.

Jesstine Korutz-Waite: Always TRUST your FIRST instinct.

Tammy Sprague-Hardiman: Everything happens for a reason!

How to Celebrate New Beginnings This Holiday

This time of year, many of us start to look forward to the year to come. So we wanted to share this video about new beginnings. Enjoy!

Video Editor--Dominique Guerra

How to Overcome Conflicts at Your Job

Conflict does not have the power to defeat us; what brings us down is how we relate to the conflict. Sometimes when we find ourselves in a difficult situation, managing our emotions and beliefs around the conflict is more important than diving into the bag of tools and techniques to fix the situation.
How we handle a conflict depends largely on how positively we feel about our strength to dismantle it.

How do we gain the strength? By investing time each day in what matters most. For instance, we gain physical strength by eating, exercising, and sleeping; emotional strength by doing what we love; intellectual strength by gaining knowledge and spiritual strength by believing in ourselves or a
power greater than us. In other words, we build capacity to become resilient towards conflicts.  Our resilience depends upon how much we nurture these four aspects of being human.

When we are drained in one or more of these areas,  we often feel disconnected or confused, which makes it more difficult to see possibilities and alternative ways of handling a situation. When we are energized, we can more easily move beyond conflicts.  There is a sense of connection, clarity and the capacity to make the impossible possible.

The choice is yours - where will you choose to spend your time and energy?