Michelle Cox's Blog, page 9

Blanche and Her Mother

Blanche Eustace was born on July 12, 1904 in Council Bluffs, Iowa to Richard Chambers and Edith Norbis.  Richard was born in upper New York State in a town called Watertown, and his family apparently came to America over 200 years ago from England.  Similarly, Edith’s family could also trace their origins to Plymouth, England.  Blanche says that ancestry was always a big source of pride in her family.

Blanche’s mother, Edith, grew up on a big farm in Kansas, but she hated “country life,” so, at sixteen, she ran away to the town of Manhattan, Kansas and got a job in a hotel there.  Before her father discovered where she had gone and then subsequently went to retrieve her, Edith managed to meet Richard Chambers, a guest at the hotel where she was employed.  Richard was a travelling salesman who was just beginning his career, and he took a fancy to Edith.  Though her father managed to drag her back to the farm, Edith kept in touch with Richard and eventually married him.  The young couple moved to Council Bluffs, Iowa because Richard thought it was an ideal place to raise children.  Edith had two children within two years: Martha and George, and then fifteen years later, Blanch came along, which was a big shock to Edith.  Richard was gone most of the time, travelling from town to town, so it was Edith who struggled to raise the kids on her own and to take care of the house and yard.

The years passed, and the oldest in the family, Martha, left to get married.  Edith and Richard did not approve of Martha’s choice of a husband, but Blanche does not remember why.  Her brother, George, also married around that same time and took over the management of a large ranch that Edith and Richard owned in Nebraska.  That left only Blanche at home.

Not long after Martha and George left, Edith decided she had had enough of small town life, so when Blanche finished school, Edith decided to move to Chicago.  She had somehow attended the Chicago Exposition back in 1893 and had fallen in love with the city.  Since that time, it was her dream to get back to Chicago, and she saw this as her chance.  She didn’t divorce Richard; she just moved.  So now instead of Richard going “home” on the weekends to Council Bluffs, he went “home” to Chicago.

At first Edith and Blanche stayed at a hotel until Edith could find a suitable apartment.  Blanche says that her mother was a very hard woman to please, but they finally found something decent at Sheridan and Pratt.  Neither Edith nor Blanche got a job and instead spent almost all of their time together, especially since, says Blanche, her mother always acted younger than her age.  Edith loved it when people mistook them for sisters.  Blanche says that it was a strange time in her life; she and her mother did everything together, and they were truly best friends.  Before they moved to Chicago, Blanche says she was very studious and excelled in Latin.  Now, she didn’t go to school at all, and instead passed the time by playing the piano.  Back in Kansas, she had begun piano lessons at the age of five and had only been allowed to play classical music, but now, Edith encouraged to play show tunes and to go out dancing.  As it turns out, Blanche developed quite a talent for dancing and learned all the latest dances coming out, her favorite being the Fox Trot.

When Blanche was just 14, America entered World War I, and she and her mother traveled to Camp Dodge in Iowa, where Blanche’s brother, George, was a new recruit.  It was at Camp Dodge that Blanche first met Peter Eustace, who was the attendant at the information desk the day Edith and Blanche turned up looking for George.  Peter was 13 years Blanche’s senior, but they wrote letters to each other and eventually fell in love.  When Blanche turned 18, they were married.

Fortunately, Peter was never shipped overseas, and when the war ended, the young couple took up residence in Chicago, where Peter’s family was from.  They found an apartment on the north side, near Peter’s family.  Peter worked as a commercial artist, and Blanche stayed home to care for their four children: Oscar, Rita, Eugene and Elaine.  After about five years, they bought a home in Park Ridge, which, Blanche says, was considered pretty “far out” of the city at the time.  They remained there for about four years before moving to Evanston and then to Oak Park for the school system, where they remained for over twenty years.  They bought a big house there because Blanche thought it was important for each of the four children to have their own room.

After all of the children left, Peter and Blanche moved to a smaller house.  Blanche says that they always had similar tastes in things and really enjoyed staying home together.  Eventually, though, Peter passed away of a stroke when he was in his eighties.  Blanche says that she “woke up one day a widow.”  Not long after his death, she suffered a stroke as well, which affected her right side.  Despite the stroke, she was able to live independently for several years before experiencing more problems.  Eventually, she could no longer live alone, so she made the reluctant decision to go to a nursing home.

Blanche is a very quiet, sweet lady who is easily intimidated.  She shrinks away from loud noises, including loud talking.  If addressed quietly and intelligently, however, she will respond and will hold a conversation with pleasure.  At the home, she is interested in any of the “intellectual” offerings, such as discussion groups or listening to classical music.  She also enjoys reading and watching PBS.  As a rule, she does not enjoy big group activities but prefers the company of one or two residents or that of her two daughters, who visit frequently.

(Originally written: September 1994)

If you liked this true story about the past, check out Michelle’s historical fiction/mystery series, set in the 1930s in Chicago:

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Her First Job Was Teaching in a One-Room Schoolhouse

Margaret (Maggie) Devinson was born on January 10, 1902 in Sault St. Marie, Michigan.  Her parents were John Williams and Bridget Kennedy, both of whom were born in Canada.  John was of English descent, and Bridget was Irish (though Maggie never wanted anyone to know that, preferring to call herself English.)  John worked as a machinist for Hicker Brothers, and Bridget cared for their seven children: Minnie, Mary, Margaret, Rudolph, George, Elizabeth and Anne.

Maggie was raised Episcopalian and managed to graduate from high school.  From there she took a summer college course at Marquette.  When the class ended, she returned home and was shocked to discover that while she was away, her mother had applied for a job for her to teach “country school” for the winter.  Maggie wasn’t sure she really wanted to teach in a country school, but her mother insisted, so Maggie dutifully went.

“Country school” turned out to be a one-room school house where she was expected to teach all eight grades, which were made up mostly of farm boys.  Though nervous at first, Maggie grew to love this job and said she learned more teaching this way than from any college class she ever took.  When school finished for the summer, she took another summer class at Marquette and then returned to the country school to teach for the winter again.  Because it was so far from her parents’ home, however, Maggie boarded with families who lived closer to the school.  During her second year teaching, she lived with a French family who insisted she only speak French, so she had no choice but to quickly learn it.

The next part of Maggie’s story is vague.  Apparently, after teaching “country school” for a few years, she either ended up taking classes at the Eastern Michigan University at Ypsilanti or she traveled down to Pontiac, Michigan to be closer to where her sisters were living.  Whichever the case, she somehow met Charlie Sefton, who was attending the University of Michigan and was an up-and-coming musician.  Maggie and Charlie spent a lot of time together, Charlie even teaching her how to play the piano by ear.  Eventually the two fell in love, and Charlie gave her an engagement ring.

At this point, however, Maggie’s parents got involved.  While they enjoyed Charlie’s music, they were very opposed to the marriage.  One evening when she was at home, Maggie’s father pulled her aside and begged her to give Charlie his ring back, stating that as a musician Charlie would no doubt live a “wild” life and would come into contact with all sorts of “seedy” characters. He was worried that Maggie would likewise be pulled into what he perceived to be an underworld.  Heartbroken, Maggie agreed to abide by her father’s wishes and broke off the engagement with Charlie.  She continued to follow Charlie’s glowing big band career all her life, however, cutting out newspaper articles about him and pasting them in a scrapbook.

Time passed, and Maggie eventually fell in love again.  This time with one Phillip Devinson, who was from a very good, old Michigan family and was just finishing up his law degree.  Maggie’s parents very much approved of him, and she and Phillip married when she was just 28.  Phillip decided not to practice law, however, but went into real estate instead and then worked for an insurance company.  Later in life he started his own business.  Maggie, in the meantime, continued to teach, though it was hard to find full-time positions because she didn’t really have a real teaching degree.

The couple started out living near Phillip’s parents but moved to Chicago after about seven years.  It was in Chicago that their only child, Cynthia, was born when Maggie was nearly forty.  The family went back to Michigan for a few years and then came back to Chicago again in 1953, where they bought a house on Jarlath Street in Lincolnwood and remained there permanently.

Maggie found work as both a CNA and a part-time teacher until the school she was working at in Lincolnwood finally told her that they would have to let her go because she did not have a degree.  It was apparently just the motivation Maggie needed to go back to school and finish, as teaching was her real passion in life.  Eventually, she earned her degree and graduated and was thrilled to be allowed to stay on at the school she loved in Lincolnwood.

In 1977, Phillip died of alcoholism.  Maggie’s daughter, Cynthia, reports that Phillip was a very difficult man to live with and that her parents’ marriage was not the best.  Since his death, Cynthia and Maggie have lived together in the same house on Jarlath and have become quite close companions.  Besides teaching, Maggie enjoyed playing the piano, reading, drawing and painting, and gardening.

Maggie remained a very independent person until just a few years ago, when, Cynthia says, her mother started getting a bit confused.  Since then, Maggie has begun to need more and more help/supervision, which Cynthia has been able to provide, despite getting on in years herself and having her own health problems.  Recently, however, when Maggie was hospitalized due to a bad bout of the flu and dehydration, Cynthia, facing a surgery herself, was not able to bring Maggie home to care for her.  Instead, she made the difficult decision to place her in a nursing home.  Cynthia feels terrible about the situation, particularly since she says that Maggie was furious and flew into uncharacteristic rages when Cynthia told her at the hospital what the new arrangement was to be.

At the nursing home, however, Maggie is calm and cooperative, though she often seems confused and teary-eyed.  She does not seem to understand her admission and is preoccupied with the belief that Cynthia will not be able to find her here, despite the fact that Cynthia visits often.  Because she believes her stay here is temporary, Maggie does not seem to want to make any lasting relationships with the other residents or join in activities, but instead sits for hours, waiting for Cynthia to come and take her home.

(Originally written: January 1995)

If you liked this true story about the past, check out Michelle’s historical fiction/mystery series, set in the 1930s in Chicago:

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William Jefferson Sanders – “A Hard-Working Man”

William Jefferson Sanders was born on January 16, 1921 in Tennessee to Lamar and Ivory Sanders.  William reports that he has many brothers and sisters and many half-siblings as well, but that he can’t remember exactly how many.  He attended two years of high school, and when he was twenty-one, he married his childhood sweetheart, Kalisha Jones, who was just sixteen at the time.  William is fond of saying that he and Kalisha were “country people” who had had grown up and attended school together.

Shortly after their marriage, however, World War II broke out, and William enlisted in the navy.  He served in the South Pacific and ended up in the jungles of New Guinea, New Caledonia and Manus Island.  In total, his tour of duty lasted two years, six months and eighteen days, and in all that time, he faithfully sent his check home to Kalisha each pay period.  When he returned home, however, he was shocked to find that Kalisha had taken all of the checks and opened her own account with them.  William promptly went to the bank to get the money out, but they refused to allow him access because his name was not on the account.

Kalisha chose this moment to tell him that she wasn’t going to go back to doing whatever he told her to do and that she wanted her own money.  “After that,” William says, “I was henpecked.”

Upon being discharged from the navy, William was offered job at the arsenal in Milan, Tennessee, but after a couple of years, there were changes in management and he had to move to a new facility.  He was given the choice of a job at either of the arsenals in Joliet or Alabama.  William chose Joliet because of the racial tensions in Alabama, so he and Kalisha moved first to nearby Kankakee and then later to Joliet itself.  William relates that he really enjoyed working at the arsenal in Joliet and eventually became a supervisor.

A dark cloud was brewing, however, in that William seems to have neglected to pay the IRS some tax money amounting to $64.00.  William claims he planned to finally pay the back taxes out of his next pay check, but it happened to coincide with Kalisha’s yearly Christmas trip back to Tennessee to see her mother.  Kalisha had planned on the extra money for the holidays, but when William told her that she was going to have to skip it this year, she cried so much that William finally gave in.  The IRS was not as compassionate, however, and got the arsenal involved, who, in turn, fired him on December 17th.

Depressed, William decided he needed to go to Key West for a change of life and scenery, but Kalisha thought this was a ridiculous idea.  William was determined, however, and went without her.  Kalisha instead stayed in Joliet with their daughter, Maggie.  William sent money to them for a while, but then got sick of it and decided that if Kalisha wanted money she would have to come to Florida to get it.  Of course she refused, and that was pretty much the end of their relationship.

William remained in Key West working construction for about nine months before returning to the Chicago area.  He found a job at a lumberyard in Berwyn as a shipping and receiving clerk.  His IRS troubles followed him, however.  By now, William owed the government over four hundred dollars.  Unlike the arsenal, the lumberyard did not fire him but instead garnished his wages until the back taxes were paid.

William says he was “a hard-working man” at the lumberyard and that his boss liked him so much that he never allowed him to take a vacation but paid him extra instead.  William, it seems, after many years of this, just couldn’t take it after a while and, needing a break, took off for Tennessee to visit his mother and remained there for over six months.  Eventually, though, he knew he had to return to his old life and wrote to his boss asking him for his job back.  Surprisingly, his boss agreed, and William went back to the lumberyard and worked for several more years before quitting and getting a job as a janitor at the Brach candy factory, where he happened to be working during the famous case of Helen Brach’s disappearance.

Eventually, William retired due to severe arthritis in his hands and back as well as kidney problems.  He was able to live on his own for a number of years before having to go to a nursing home.   He has had some contact over the years with his daughter, Maggie, though she is partially handicapped herself and unable to care for him.  Meanwhile, he remains estranged from Kalisha, whom he believes is still living in Joliet.

For the most part William seems to enjoy his life in the nursing home.  His memory is perfectly intact, and he loves talking about the past with the staff and the residents who are able to carry on a conversation.  He was an active member of the American Legion, the VFW and the Elks and loves gospel music, movies, and smoking a pipe.  His favorite drink is Budweiser.  He says he used to try to drink hard liquor when he was in the navy, but it didn’t agree with him.

William appears to be a very gentle, charming, easy-going man, but he says that in his youth he was very hot-tempered and that he was prone to fighting to deal with stress.  If someone crossed him, he says, he immediately wanted to fight him.  “It’s a terrible thing to have,” he admits.  “You do things you regret later, and it hurts you.”

(Originally written: September 1995)

If you liked this true story about the past, check out Michelle’s historical fiction/mystery series, set in the 1930s in Chicago:

 

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Still Able to Sing

Winifred Hughes was born on June 1, 1905 to Italian immigrants and was one of eleven children.  Winnie attended grammar school until she was just nine years old when she came down with an unknown childhood illness that left her deaf.  She did not receive any schooling after that and taught herself to sometimes read lips.  She stayed at home and helped her mother with all of the children, watching as each one grew up and left home, longing to be one of them.

Finally, in her twenties,Winifred was able to find a job outside the home at Hart, Schaffner and Marx as a bastings remover, a job she enjoyed very much.  Her life continued uneventfully, her time off from work still being taken up mostly with duties at home.  When she was in her late thirties, however, everything changed for Winnie.  She met a man at work, Montgomery Hughes, who was thirteen years her senior and in charge of all the tailors.  Winnie fell madly in love with him, and they eventually married.

Montgomery and Winnie never had any children, the family’s belief being that they purposely prevented it because Winnie would not be able to hear the babies cry.  Instead, they devoted themselves to their nieces and nephews and delighted in having them come and stay from time to time.  Winnie taught them to play Crazy-8’s and was always happy and fun.  The nieces and nephews spent every New Year’s Eve at Uncle Montgomery and Aunt Winnie’s house, who always had lots of fun things planned for them.

For a time, one of Winnie’s brothers, Mario, came to live with them when he was discharged from the war after developing Parkinson’s.  Winnie and Montgomery generously cared for him until he died.  According to the family, Winnie and Montgomery had a very happy life together and were very much in love.  Winnie loved baking, sewing, and gardening – her specialty being fruit trees.

When Winnie was 52 and Montgomery 65, the couple decided to retire.  Eventually they moved to a retirement community in LaPorte, Indiana, but they were only able to enjoy it for a few years before Montgomery passed away.  Winnie stayed at the retirement home for a little while on her own before deciding to move back to Chicago, where her nieces, Dorothy and Jean, could look in on her.

Winnie has remained very healthy until age 81 when she broke her left foot, causing her to go and live with Dorothy for a time.  Unfortunately, however, she broke more bones in her left leg and even her left hip.  Winnie was then confined to a wheelchair while her leg healed, during which time Dorothy had to care for her full time, despite the fact that her own health was not very good.  Eventually, Dorothy just couldn’t cope with the situation, so there was no choice but for Winnie to go to a nursing home.

Winnie seems to have made the adjustment  as well as can be expected.  At times she seems depressed and withdrawn in her room, but at other times enjoys sitting in the day room reading the newspaper from cover to cover or visiting with Dorothy’s daughter, Bonnie, who lives nearby.  For the most part she remains the very happy, positive person she has always been all her life.  Her family says that she was always in a good mood, never stressed or upset by anything.  She took life as it came and enjoyed whatever it brought.

Winnie looks forward to visits from Bonnie, who is able to communicate with her in their own way, as Winnie never properly learned sign language.  Her deafness prevents her from interacting with the other residents or participating in activities.  Though Winnie never speaks except to sometimes say a garbled “I’m mute” to people who attempt to talk to her, she is still, amazingly, able to sing, in Italian, the songs her mother once sung to her as a little girl.

(Originally written: May 1995)

If you liked this true story about the past, check out Michelle’s historical fiction/mystery series, set in the 1930s in Chicago:

 

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He Saw Her Through the Bakery Window

Beatrice Wills was born on February 17, 1917 in Chicago to Emil and Petra Schmidt, both of German descent.  Emil worked as a coal and ice man, and Petra cared for their two children, Beatrice and Agatha.  The family lived on the northwest side of Chicago and were members of St. Alphonsus parish.  Both girls attended grammar and high school, and upon graduation, Beatrice got a job in a bakery.

Her future husband, Lawrence Wills, would often tell the story of how he passed by the bakery one day and, upon peering in the window, saw Beatrice working there and instantly fell in love with her. Many weeks followed in which he strolled past the bakery, each time hoping to catch a glimpse of Beatrice, until he finally worked up the courage to go in, contriving a story that she had sold him a stale cake.

His plan seemed to work because, rather than be offended by his complaint, Beatrice says that she liked Lawrence right away.

As it turned out, Lawrence’s friend happened to be dating Beatrice’s cousin, so it was a good way for the two of them to get to know each other better.  Lawrence and Beatrice dated for three years and then got married in 1942 at St. Alphonsus.

At the time of their marriage, Lawrence was in the air force and was forced to move around the country often, especially after the war broke out.  At first, Beatrice attempted to travel with him, but it proved to be too difficult, so she eventually returned to Chicago to live with her parents, getting a job downtown at the war bond office for the duration of the war.  Fortunately, Lawrence was never shipped overseas and returned home safe and sound after a 44-month tour of duty.  For a short time, the couple continued to live with Beatrice’s parents until they found a house of their own on Richmond Street, near Addison, where they spent their whole married life.

After the war, Lawrence found work as an architect, and Beatrice remained a housewife.  They very much wanted children, but when they finally discovered that they couldn’t have any, they applied for an adoption through St. Vincent’s.  Fifteen months later, they were overjoyed to bring home their two-week old son, Howard.

Beatrice says they had a happy life and that she and Lawrence enjoyed staying home as much as going out.  When they did go out, they loved to go dancing and often went to the big dance halls of the day, including the Aragon, the Trianon, and the Merry Gardens.  They also loved to bowl.  Separately, Lawrence enjoyed gardening, and Beatrice was fond of playing sports, her favorite being basketball, and likewise loved to read, bake and crochet.  She held part-time jobs on and off over the years because her doctor advised her to “get out of the house” sometimes.

Lawrence died at age 75 of cancer, and since then Beatrice has been struggling with various health problems as well.  She did not want to go and live with Howard and his wife, Betty, so she arranged to have a nurse come once a week to the house on Richmond.  Recently, however, she was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with terminal liver disease, forcing her upon discharge to go to a nursing home to live.  She chose to go to the same one as her daughter-in-law’s mother because she always reported that she liked it so well.

Beatrice is an extremely cheerful, sweet woman who is easy to talk to.  She always seems to be in a good mood and optimistic and is pleased with how kind everyone has been at the nursing home so far.  Only once or twice has she been seen crying about her condition, and when asked if she is okay, she quickly stops and claims to be fine.  It is difficult to say how much she may be hiding about her true emotional state, but she seems determined to make the best of what little life remains for her and really desires to be happy.

(Originally written: October 1994)

If you liked this true story about the past, check out Michelle’s historical fiction/mystery series, set in the 1930s in Chicago:

 

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Living a Double Life

Gustaw Szwarc was born on July 13, 1916 in the tiny village of Gulin, Poland.  His father, Jacek, worked in an office, and his mother, Wera, cared for their seven children – five boys and two girls.  Gustaw was one of the middle children and attended school until the eighth grade.  He then got a job operating a drawbridge for trains.

When he was 23, Gustaw decided to join the Polish army.  Unfortunately, just six months later, in 1939, Hitler invaded Poland, and Gustaw found himself in the middle of the war.  He was taken prisoner by the Germans almost immediately and held for the duration.  When the Allies arrived, the English army gave him a job driving trucks in Germany.

In 1949, Gustaw decided to leave for America and ended up in Chicago working in a factory that made slot machines.  Over the next twenty years he worked in various factories around the city but returned to Poland frequently, staying for long periods of time—anywhere from six months to a year.  When he would eventually go back to Chicago, his unemployment checks had accumulated nicely in his bank account while he was away, leaving a nice sum to live on until he found another factory job in the city.  This became a lifelong pattern for Gustaw so that he was almost living a double life of sorts—one in Chicago and one in Poland, where he still had many friends and relatives.  Gustaw says he had many girlfriends in both places, but he never married.

There was one woman in Poland, however, Katarzyma, with whom he fell very deeply in love.  Katarzyma loved him, too, and wanted him to marry her, but in the end, Gustaw turned her away because he felt he was too old for her.  He was 45, and she was only 22.  Katarzyma begged him to remain in Poland and wait for her to get older, but he refused, saying that there was nothing left for him in Poland.   His father, Jacek, had died long ago at age 55 of a brain tumor, and just a few siblings and his aged mother were left.   Though Katarzyma was heart-broken, Gustaw remained firm and returned to Chicago, staying there for several years this time.  When his mother, Wera, was 98, Gustaw went back to Poland and was able to be with her when she died.  Unable to help himself and against his better judgement, Gustaw sought Katarzyma out and found that she had married someone else.

Back in Chicago, Gustaw’s only relative was a nephew, Karol, who also developed a pattern of going back and forth to Poland, where he still had a wife and child.  Karol first came and stayed with Gustaw for about a year, working in the city, before he went back to Poland.  After that, Karol began staying in Chicago for longer and longer periods, Gustaw helping him to find work each time.

As it happened, however, when Gustaw was just 54 years old, he was in a terrible car accident while driving to work.  He was nearly killed and was permanently disabled afterwards, forcing him to retire early, which caused a role reversal of sorts with Karol.  Where Gustaw had once taken Karol under his wing and looked after him, Karol now found himself looking in on Gustaw on a regular basis.

In the early 1990s, Gustaw’s health declined significantly, and he began to rely heavily on Karol to help him, which was difficult for Karol, as he usually worked a twelve-hour day.  The strain of driving to Gustaw’s apartment every evening to check on him eventually got to be too much.  This, plus the fact that Gustaw’s landlord wanted him out of the apartment because he could no longer take care of the place or himself, prompted Karol to admit Gustaw to a nursing home.  Karol was worried that Gustaw would not adjust, but so far he seems to be enjoying his new surroundings.  He says he is looking forward to the activities at the home, especially playing bingo for money and having someone to watch TV with.

(Originally written: March 1994)

If you liked this true story about the past, check out Michelle’s historical fiction/mystery series, set in the 1930s in Chicago:

 

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She Imagined Her Husband Had a Girlfriend Named “Bubbles.”

Fanny Jones was born on May 19, 1926 in Kentucky on a farm.  Her parents, Ike and Gertie Stores, had seven children, but not much is known about them except that they were of German and Irish descent and were strict Pentecostals.  Fanny apparently received a very sketchy education and, according to her granddaughter, Elizabeth, is “basically illiterate.”

Fanny married her childhood sweetheart, Frankie Jones, who used to tell stories about Fanny throwing rocks at him if he ever walked another girl home from school.  Frankie and Fanny moved to Chicago four years after their wedding and both got jobs at the Holloway Candy Company making Milk Duds.  Fanny had several miscarriages before she gave birth to a little boy, John, who died shortly thereafter.  Fanny kept trying, however, and eventually had four children: Maggie, Melvin, Elvin, and Kelvin.  Fanny has always referred to Melvin as “poor ole Melvin,” though no one knows why.  He died years later while on leave from the Vietnam War.

According to Elizabeth, Maggie’s daughter, Fanny and Frankie lived a very sheltered life, adhering to their Pentecostal faith and sticking to a strict routine.  They went to work and came home—Frankie tending the garden and Fanny sewing (her great love in life) and cooking, which she hated, but did because she had to.  As soon as Maggie was old enough, however, Fanny made her do it.

Elizabeth relates that her mother, Maggie, and Fanny never really got along.  In fact, she says, Fanny frequently told Maggie that if she could make her into a boy, she would, which, of course, hurt Maggie terribly.  Elizabeth says that from the stories she has heard, the family was very dysfunctional, constantly fighting, the prime instigator being Fanny herself.  Fanny, Elizabeth says, liked to make trouble and has always been very stubborn and interrogative.  “Her way has always been the right way, and there is no other.”

Frankie seems to have been “everything” to Fanny, and yet she was extremely jealous and suspicious of him, so much so that she created an imaginary girlfriend for him, “Bubbles,” whom she routinely accused him of having an affair with.  Periodically Fanny would even spend the money on a cab to follow him to work and spy on him.  She kept a deadbolt on her bedroom door for years and has always felt that “everyone is after my things.”

Elizabeth says that while she loves her grandmother and would do anything for her, she is a very hurtful, vindictive, paranoid person.  Elizabeth doubts if Fanny is conscious of it because she has hurt so many people over the years and doesn’t seem to understand how she has alienated them.  She loves attention and has always insisted on being deferred to.  She was “babied and spoiled” by Frankie who “groveled” before her to prevent her from becoming angry and yelling.  She has always “pretended to be sick” and also pretends, Elizabeth says, to be sleeping so that she can listen in on conversations around her.

Fanny has always complained that she has had “the worst life.”  After working at the Holloway Candy Company for twenty years, Fanny slipped on a puddle and was injured and claimed to not be able to work anymore.  Apparently, Frankie and Fanny had no hobbies and never saw a movie in their life.  They enjoyed taking rides in their car, looking at houses they passed, but never went on a vacation except for a few trips back to Kentucky.  After Melvin died, however, Fanny developed an aversion to their home town in Kentucky and only returned one or two more times after that.  In fact, Elizabeth says, there is a little cemetery back in their home town which is full of Joneses.  There lies Melvin with two empty plots beside him for Frankie and Fanny when they pass.  Fanny, however, refuses to be buried there and claims that if she is, she will come back and haunt the family forever.

Fanny and Frankie have lived in the same two-flat in Chicago on Sunnyside for over forty years.  In the last few years, however, they have begun to decline, so Maggie moved into the upstairs apartment to be closer to help them.  Elizabeth has long complained about her mother living there, saying that she is a slave to her parents and that she does “everything for them.”  What makes it even worse, Elizabeth says, is that her mother is “emotionally dead” to Fanny because of all the abuse she’s taken from her over the years.  Elizabeth has been trying to get her mother to put Fanny and Frankie in a nursing home for years, but Maggie refuses to.  Elizabeth feels that her grandmother’s health in particular has greatly deteriorated, though it is hard to tell because Fanny “fakes it so much.”  Fanny’s abuse of Frankie has increased over time as well, including a resurrection of the Bubbles story, all of which has been hard for him to deal with on top of his own health problems.

Recently Fanny was hospitalized because of three minor amputations she had to have due to diabetic complications.  It was after these hospitalizations that the discharge staff was finally able to convince Maggie to put Fanny in a home where she could get the proper care.  Maggie admitted that she can no longer cope with the situation and agreed, though she is still having a lot of guilt.

As predicted, Fanny’s transition to the facility has not been smooth.  She seems lethargic and disoriented much of the time, but can also be agitated and constantly calling out for a nurse.  Maggie doesn’t visit often, as it seems to make Fanny combative, so Elizabeth is trying her best to go instead, though she finds it hard to have patience with her stubborn grandmother.

(Originally written: August 1996)

If you liked this true story about the past, check out Michelle’s historical fiction/mystery series, set in the 1930s in Chicago:

 

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Child Bride

Mi-Jeong Kuk was born on January 7, 1909 in Korea.  Her father, Won-Shik Kuk, was a poor farmer and her mother, Seo-Jin Kee, raised three children: Mi-Jeong and her two brothers.  Mi-Jeong says that in Korea at that time a wife did not take her husband’s name, but kept her own.

All three children, of whom Mi-Jeong was the youngest, worked on the farm and received rudimentary schooling.  Mi-Jeong received the equivalent of a grade school education, after which she was arranged to marry a wealthy man, Nam-Jun Paek, who owned a lot of property and had a big house.  Mi-Jeong was not entirely pleased with the arrangement, but she did not dare say anything because she knew her family needed the dowry money that Mr. Paek had offered them.  Accordingly, the two were married; Mi-Jeong was just 15, Nam-Jun was 29.

Within the first year, Mi-Jeong had a baby, but she was forced to give her daughter to her older brother and his wife, who couldn’t have any children of their own.  Mi-Jeong says that this was a common practice in Korea.  She eventually had two more children, a girl: Kyung-Eun and a boy: Mu-Hyeon.

Not long after her son was born, Mi-Jeong’s husband took another wife, which was his privilege because he was a wealthy land-owner.  Mi-Jeong explained that only rich men could have more than one wife because they were the only ones that could afford to pay more than one dowry.  Apparently, Nam-Jun took many wives after Mi-Jeong, which caused her much sorrow and distress.  She was nervous and anxious most of the time and spent her days cooking and weaving silk and cotton, trying her best to stay in the background.  She says that Nam-Jung was not abusive, per se, but that her heart was broken and she could not cope well with the other wives.

The years passed, and eventually both of Mi-Jeong’s children immigrated to the United States and settled in Chicago.  Once they were established there, they wrote to Mi-Jeong and urged her to come to America to help them raise their own children.  Mi-Jeong was happy to have a reason to get away from Nam-Jun and accepted their invitation.  When asked about Nam-Jun, Mi-Jeong says that she thinks he is still alive, but she isn’t sure.

Of her first daughter whom she gave to her brother, Mi-Jeong knows little.  She is thankful that she got to see her grow up, though at a distance, but she has lost contact with her now.  Mi-Jeong says that she is no longer sad about it, but that it was very hard at first.

Once in America, Mi-Jeong spent the next years living in her own place near her children and became heavily involved in watching her grandchildren.  Over time, her anxiety seems to have lessened, and she has always turned to weaving as a hobby and a form of relaxation.  In the last two years, she has gone to live with her son, Mu-Hyeon, as she was falling a lot and finding it harder to live alone.  Now that her memory appears to be going as well, Mu-Hyeon became increasingly worried about leaving her alone while they were out.

In desperation, Mu-Hyeon and Kyung-Eun brought Mi-Jeong to a nursing home, where she seems to be adjusting well.  She appears a bit fearful, but has found a few residents who speak Korean and also enjoys talking to the Korean nurses on staff.  Though her eyes often look anxious as she makes her way, carefully, around the facility, she always has a smile and eagerly grips the hand of whomever stops the greet her.  “I have had many sorrows,” Mi-Jeong once said through an interpreter, “but much joy, too.  It’s time for me to descend and my grandchildren to rise.”

(Originally written: September 1996)

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Forced to Work on a German Farm

Stefan Zabek was born on May 10, 1914 in Poland to Roman and Olga Zabek.  Roman owned and worked a small farm, while Olga cared for their six children: Stefan and Ada (twins), Teodora, Sara, Waclaw and Renia.  Stefan attended the equivalent of grade school and then quit to help on the farm.  Stefan recalls that his family was very poor, but they were able to eek out a sparse living.   When World War II broke out, however, everything changed.  The Germans eventually invaded, and all six of the Zabek children were taken from Roman and Olga and sent to work in Germany in camps or on farms.  Roman and Olga were allowed to stay on the farm as long as they continued to produce food, which was difficult without any of the children to help.

Stefan, age 25, ended up on a farm working beside other captured persons, one of whom was a young woman, Paulina Bosko, whom Stefan fell in love with.  When the Americans arrived to liberate them, they gave Stefan a job in a hospital in Germany.  Paulina went with him, and they married and made a life for themselves, having two children: Josephine and Stanley.  After twelve years of working in Germany, however, the Zabek’s decided to appeal to the Americans to immigrate to the United States.  They could also have chosen to return to Poland with American help, but they decided to follow several of Stefan’s siblings who had already made it over to either the United States or Canada.

Stefan and Paulina decided to go to Detroit where Stefan’s brother, Waclaw, was working in a factory.  At the time, Josephine was just six and Stanley was four.  Stefan quickly got a job in a factory as a punch press operator, though they only remained in Detroit for one year before deciding to try Chicago.  Stefan got various factory jobs there until he landed a job at the Drake Hotel as a janitor and maintenance man.  Stefan loved this job and remained there for over 21 years, where he enjoyed the reputation of having “a golden hand,” meaning he could fix anything presented to him.  He is very proud of the fact that even after he retired, the staff and managers at the hotel still sometimes called him at home to ask how to fix certain things.

Stefan and Paulina lived in various apartments around Chicago until after Stefan retired, at which time Paulina was diagnosed with cancer.  At that point, they moved in with Josephine, though Stefan says that she drove a hard bargain.  She demanded $300 rent from them per month, and they were required to work around the house as well.  Though she was battling cancer, Paulina had to clean the house and do the laundry, and Stefan had to care for the lawn and garden and do maintenance on the house.  After Paulina eventually died, Stefan remained another year at Josephine’s until he himself began to slow down.  No longer able to do as much around the house, Josephine told him it was time for him to move out.  Accordingly, he moved to an apartment in a retirement community – North Park Village, where he was still able to do his own shopping and banking.  In the three years that he was there, Stefan says that Josephine never once came to see him.  Likewise, he does not seem to have a very close relationship with his son, Stanley.  His children’s lack of involvement in his life and apparent lack of concern seems baffling to him, and he can offer no explanation.

Luckily, however, he was befriended while at the retirement village by a woman named Maria Winograd, whom he miraculously knew from his childhood in Poland.  Her daughter was also oddly named Josephine, and she became like a surrogate daughter to him, helping him with whatever he needed, especially as he grew more infirm and eventually had to be hospitalized.  She also helped with his admittance to a nursing home, which, he says he loves, much to the staff’s surprise.

Stefan is a very sweet, kind, polite gentleman who says he is thrilled to be in a place that cares for him.  “I have no worries here,” he frequently says.  He is delighted to have met fellow Poles and enjoys talking with them throughout the day.  He reports that he hopes he lives a long time yet so he can fully enjoy all that the home has to offer.

(Originally written: July 1995)

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Her List of Must-Haves for Life in America: Sheep Shears, Blankets and Silverware

Bessie Skalicky was born on March 11, 1901 in Polhora, Slovakia, a village at the foot of a mountain near the Polish border.  Her parents were Jozef and Aneta Jelen.  Jozef worked as a lumberman, and Aneta managed the farm and raised their six children, two of whom died, however, one being Bessie’s twin brother, Paul, who died at age two “because he was the runt.”

Bessie attended the local school until the equivalent of the eighth grade but skipped school often.  At the time, she says, Slovakia was ruled by Austria-Hungary, and the children had to speak Hungarian in school.  Bessie was one of the unfortunate children who found it hard to learn Hungarian and was frequently slapped or hit for lapsing into Slovakian.  To make matters worse, the Jelen children were likewise slapped at home if they spoke Hungarian, so Bessie tried to avoid school altogether so that she wouldn’t be confused.

She loved to sing, however, and had a beautiful voice, often accompanying her father whenever he got out his accordion or fiddle.  “Sing for us!” he would often say.  At some point, Jozef happened to meet a young WWI veteran, Ignac Skalicky, and was impressed with his own musical talent as well as his good looks.  Also, it didn’t hurt that he owned his own farm.  Accordingly, when Bessie was twenty-one, Jozef arranged for her to marry Ignac, who was himself more than willing, as he was impressed with Bessie’s ability to work hard.  Bessie agreed, and the two of them were married and moved to Ignac’s farm.  They had four children in Slovakia: Agnes, Danica, Cecelia, and Justina, though Danica died as an infant.

In 1931, Ignac and Bessie decided to leave Slovakia for America, hoping to improve their meager situation.  Before they left, however, Bessie’s father, Jozef, died suddenly at age 50 in his sleep.  It was a Sunday morning, and the whole family was dressed and ready to leave for Church when Jozef, suddenly not feeling well, said he would stay home and lie down for a bit.  When the family returned, they found him lying peacefully on top of his bed, still in his Sunday best, dead.

Bessie hated leaving her widowed mother, but the plans had already been made.  Besides, she took her father’s death as an omen that they should go.  They were only allowed to take one trunk between them all, so, besides clothes, Bessie packed what she thought they would need in their new life: blankets, silverware and sheep shears.

The little family made their way to Phillips, Wisconsin and bought a small farm there, where Bessie and Ignac had three more children: Margaret, Boris and Edward.  They made a success of their farm, though Ignac died of stomach cancer when he was only 57, as did Boris at age 43.  Bessie remained on the farm with their youngest child, Edward, until 1967 when she suddenly decided to move to town.  There, Bessie continued to sew and garden and loved to study history, writing many articles for the local paper.  And always she loved to sing.

In 1987, Bessie began to find it hard to live alone as her mental state began to deteriorate, so she moved to Chicago to live with her daughter, Agnes. Unfortunately, however, after several years, Agnes was no longer able to care for her, either, because of her own degenerative muscular disease and was forced to bring Bessie to a nursing home.

Bessie was quite upset at first, having always had a fear of nursing homes, but she seems to have eventually adjusted rather well to her surroundings.  Although she proceeded fearfully, she seemed happy to have found a few fellow residents with whom she could speak Slovakian and could be found sitting and talking with them most days.

(Originally written: June 1994)

f you liked this true story about the past, check out Michelle’s historical fiction/mystery series, set in the 1930s in Chicago:

 

 

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