David Vienna's Blog, page 145
November 20, 2017
David Vienna's New Book Is Out And We Are Getting Drunk From Doing Chores
Here’s an article about my new book in which I am referred to as a “comedian.“
Sure. Okay.
November 18, 2017
thedaddycomplex:
Some day in the near future, this conversation...
Some day in the near future, this conversation will happen…
Boone: Papa, tell us about how you proposed to Mama.
Me: Well, son. I was dressed as The Crow.
Wyatt: What’s The Crow?
Me: It’s a character from a movie… no, wait. It was a comic book first, but they made a movie of it—
Boone: What’s a comic book?
Me: You know those stories with all the pictures you read on your Read-O-Matic 5000 device?
Wyatt: Yes.
Me: Those used to come in, like, a floppy magazine form. Anyway, they made a movie of it… I’m getting off track. I was dressed as a guy who comes back from the dead to avenge his lover’s death.
Wyatt: So, you thought that was the perfect attire for a marriage proposal.
Me: It was kind-of spontaneous.
Wyatt: Please tell me this was for Halloween.
Me: It was.
Boone: What was Mama dressed as?
Me: She… um, I don’t know. Some kind of sexy goth librarian or something. Ask her.
Wyatt: So, that was the night you guys decided to get married.
Me: Uh, no. She didn’t say yes.
Boone: But, she obviously did eventually.
Me: A year later, yes… Hey, if I were her, I would’ve waited, too.
This popped up as a Facebook memory thingy for me. I forgot I’d ever written about this.
November 17, 2017
They asked the boy in the sky, “What do you see?”And the boy in...
They asked the boy in the sky, “What do you see?”
And the boy in the sky replied, “I see all that there is.”
Then they asked the boy in the sky, “Can you describe it to us?”
And the boy in the sky replied, “Join me instead. See for yourself.”
So they did.
November 16, 2017
A new study claims the key to raising athletic teens is to let...
A new study claims the key to raising athletic teens is to let them try a bunch of sports as a kid.
And I’m like…
This seems like one of those studies that didn’t need to be done. I mean, of course there are kids who are offered a bunch of sporting options and just hate all of them. But, really, kids who do sports tend to become teens who do sports.
The findings show that having a bunch of sports to pick from means, if your kid gives one up, there are plenty more to fall back on. But here’s something interesting. Study author Mathieu Belanger of the University of Sherbrooke in New Brunswick said:
“Parents should … avoid having their children take
part in any given sport year-round.”
The idea is doing a single sport non-stop can lead to burn out or injuries. Yeah, okay. I guess that’s true.
But still.
Duh.
November 8, 2017
An Amazon reviewer said this about my book Calm The F*ck Down:...
November 1, 2017
David Vienna Wants YOU To Have A Drink - Science of Parenthood
The Science of Parenthood folks did an interview with me about my latest book and I was only a little bit of a smart-ass. I’m a big boy!
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Alcohol makes everything better.
October 31, 2017
We had a good Halloween with a jawa
and the Winter Soldier.
We had a good Halloween with a jawa
and the Winter Soldier.
October 18, 2017
It only seems fair.
It only seems fair.
rubducked:
Haha. Ha. Ha. I just read an article about a dad who had to be a parent for a day. It...
Haha. Ha. Ha.
I just read an article about a dad who had to be a parent for a day.
It was supposed to be funny but it only made me wonder: why do people think it’s adorable and heartwarming to read or watch a video clip of father trying to “fill in” and be a parent?
Like what is so endearing about a society that has held the bar so low for men that when fathers actually try (for a day or long enough for a video or pic) to be a parent, it’s like “oh my god, this is so adorable!”?
Even in commercials, we excuse their inability to parent. Anytime you see a pair of parents, there goes the dad, “Uh-hyuk, oh geez, I dunno honey. I no good at nuthin.”
I mean, what’s the point of having kids with someone who isn’t willing to rise to the occasion on a daily basis and put in the work needed to raise a child?
This last point @rubducked makes is key. Contributing isn’t hard, so any father who feigns incompetence should be set goddamn straight.
Also, to any and all advertisers and producers, the “incompetent dad” trope is fucking idiotic and unrealistic. Stop doing it.
October 15, 2017
The beginning of Boone’s jawa costume.
The beginning of Boone’s jawa costume.
