David Vienna's Blog, page 141

Okay, party people. My new book is now available. But Amazon is...

Okay, party people. My new book is now available. But Amazon is already sold out, so you can get it at KnockKnockStuff.com. So, y’know, you should totally do that.

Well, that didn’t work.

Well, that didn’t work.

thedaddycomplex:Think Hard About ThisYou’re standing in front of the fridge, the door is open. You...

thedaddycomplex:

Think Hard About This

You’re standing in front of the fridge, the door is open. You know you’re not hungry, so you stare at the uncooked asparagus and half-empty jar of olives with a bit of aggravation. This is habit and even the habit isn’t working correctly.

Then, the forks and spoons in the sink float up and hover near the ceiling. The microwave sparks. The light inside the fridge flickers.

There’s a brilliant flash of blue and you find yourself sitting in a chair in my living room, remote in hand. I turn to you and ask, “So, what are we watching?”

So, what are we watching? And why?

Okay, let’s try this again, but make it a tag game thingy. If you’re tagged, please reblog with answers the questions above. And then tag… let’s say five people.

So, I’m tagging @mommiemaddness, @daddydoctrines, @itsliketheyknowus, @kidsraisingkids, and @taylorswift.

…aaaaaaaaaaand GO!

Think Hard About ThisYou’re standing in front of the fridge, the door is open. You know you’re not...

Think Hard About This

You’re standing in front of the fridge, the door is open. You know you’re not hungry, so you stare at the uncooked asparagus and half-empty jar of olives with a bit of aggravation. This is habit and even the habit isn’t working correctly.

Then, the forks and spoons in the sink float up and hover near the ceiling. The microwave sparks. The light inside the fridge flickers.

There’s a brilliant flash of blue and you find yourself sitting in a chair in my living room, remote in hand. I turn to you and ask, “So, what are we watching?”

So, what are we watching? And why?

BOOM! goes the dynamiteThere’s a kid who picks on Wyatt at track practice.Tonight, Wyatt confronted...

BOOM! goes the dynamite

There’s a kid who picks on Wyatt at track practice.

Tonight, Wyatt confronted him and asked why he does it. The kid said he does it because Wyatt “looks like a girl.”

Wyatt replied, “Oh, I get it… You’re jealous of me. You don’t need to be jealous. That faux-hawk looks good on you.”

The kid and his friends then spent 10 minutes arguing about how faux-hawks count as mohawks, but Wyatt had already walked away.

Hanging out with my heroes today.

Hanging out with my heroes today.

We’re getting old, Tumblr folksI feel like a lot of the late-night Tumblr peeps I could jam with...

We’re getting old, Tumblr folks

I feel like a lot of the late-night Tumblr peeps I could jam with back in, like, 2009 are now in bed by 10pm…

…aaaaaaaaand I just realized I’ve been on Tumblr for almost a decade.

Jesus Christ.

What has my life become?

I spent the evening naked from the waist down because I realized I had my underwear on backwards,...

I spent the evening naked from the waist down because I realized I had my underwear on backwards, went to fix it, and didn’t have the energy to complete the task.

davidvienna:I’ve never met a member of the Flat Earth Society. I guess they don’t get around much.

davidvienna:

I’ve never met a member of the Flat Earth Society. I guess they don’t get around much.

gallusrostromegalus:thegestianpoet:waveu-p:To all of my...

A post shared by diana lehr (@dianalehr) on Jul 2, 2017 at 10:26am PDT

gallusrostromegalus:

thegestianpoet:

waveu-p:

To all of my california friends who can’t miss fireflies because they haven’t ever seen them.

^ what? do they not have fireflies in CA??????????

Nope! They don’t really live west of the rockies.  The first time I saw them in Ohio, I thought I was hallucinating.

My childhood summer nights were spent catching fireflies in our neighborhood outside DC.