David Vienna's Blog, page 2

I’m an atheist, but I think now would be a great time for 40 days and 40 nights of rain.

I’m an atheist, but I think now would be a great time for 40 days and 40 nights of rain.

FA:

FA:

“I think it’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights.” —Charlie Kirk, 2019

FO:

I’ve been saying this exact thing, too.

I’ve been saying this exact thing, too.

But, I would love — LOVE — to be proved wrong. And I say that without any sarcasm.

If you voted for Trump and are now pissed off, get mad, speak up. And I’m not even saying you should join us liberals, though we do have great guacamole at our monthly “gay sex and free abortion” parties.

There are a growing number of conservatives who want Trump out. They’d welcome you with open arms… though I hear they use too much lime juice in their guacamole.

I know this is old news, but I am still flabbergasted by the fact that actress Elsa Lanchester…

I know this is old news, but I am still flabbergasted by the fact that actress Elsa Lanchester played The Bride, one of the most iconic characters in all of horror…

…and Katie Nanna in Disney’s Mary Poppins.

Lanchester had an absolutely massive career that spanned 6 decades and pretty much every genre in both film and TV. She also wrote a tell-all memoir titled Elsa Lanchester, Herself.

I think I’m gonna go re-watch The Bride of Frankenstein right now to officially kick off spooky season.

I tried having a conversation with a MAGA on here. Don’t know why I bothered.

I tried having a conversation with a MAGA on here. Don’t know why I bothered.

When I stand up, my joints pop so much people around me start absently humming “Spoonman.”

When I stand up, my joints pop so much people around me start absently humming “Spoonman.”

Me waiting for the MAGA cult to accept their orange Jesus is the exact pedophile they wanted exposed…

Me waiting for the MAGA cult to accept their orange Jesus is the exact pedophile they wanted exposed by their orange Jesus…

The call is coming from inside the White House.

Last year, when Wyatt was in 10th grade he kept a image of an almond on his phone’s photo app.

Last year, when Wyatt was in 10th grade he kept a image of an almond on his phone’s photo app.

Whenever another student would start gushing about whoever they had a crush on, he’d ask them to show him a photo. And every time they did, he’d say, “Really? Their head is shaped like an almond.”

Then, he’d pull up the photo on his phone and hold it next to the pic of the targeted crush and say, “See? Very much almond-shaped.”

He said this whether it was true or not and, as teens at that age are always crushing on someone, apparently had countless opportunities to do so.

To this day, I think it’s one of the funniest bits ever because it’s so random, but also his commitment to the delivery was so serious. I’m sure more then a few people walked away thinking maybe their crush did have an almond-shaped head.

Just yesterday, I brought it up as we were driving around. Then, as matter-of-fact as I’ve ever hard him speak, he said, “That whole joke came to me in a dream.”

More like Dean Cain’t, amirite?

More like Dean Cain’t, amirite?

MAGA is upset about the updated Cracker Barrel logo because crackers hate to evolve.

MAGA is upset about the updated Cracker Barrel logo because crackers hate to evolve.