David Vienna's Blog, page 3

Some neighbors saw two nefarious dudes hiding a video camera pointed toward our house in a hedge.

Some neighbors saw two nefarious dudes hiding a video camera pointed toward our house in a hedge.

When the cops arrived to check it out, one of them asked if I had a large social media following (because some nut may have seen my house in a post).

I replied, “I mean… on Tumblr, yeah.”

And the cop said, “That doesn’t really apply.”

Boone and Wyatt’s first day of 11th grade.

Boone and Wyatt’s first day of 11th grade.

I was really hoping that JD Vance meeting to discuss “the Epstein situation” was really going to be…

I was really hoping that JD Vance meeting to discuss “the Epstein situation” was really going to be a small group of people looking over Julius Caesar like a how-to, but then I realized none of those dip-shits would read Shakespeare.

Holy shit!

Holy shit!

Joe Biden moved Jeffrey Epstein’s partner Ghislaine Maxwell to a minimum security prison and Biden’s own Deputy Attorney General then privately interviewed her and during that interview she claimed Biden had nothing to do with the rampant rape of children supplied to him by Maxwell and Epstein, despite all reports to the contrary, all so she could curry favor with the president enough to get a pardon.

I’m fucking outraged that Biden used his position to clear his name of the most horrific crimes anyone could commit…

Oh, wait. That wasn’t Biden. That was Trump. Donald Trump did that.

If I collect one more “Sandler really acts in this one” movie review, my next pastrami sandwich is…

If I collect one more “Sandler really acts in this one” movie review, my next pastrami sandwich is free!

Well, MAGA. The Trump admin just gave Ghislaine Maxwell a pass.

Well, MAGA. The Trump admin just gave Ghislaine Maxwell a pass.

Still want Trump as your guy? Because he’s ever-increasingly revealing himself as not the guy you want as your guy.

But, please, tie yourself in knots trying to explain this away.

First, let me say Nick Fuentes can get fucked by a gorilla with a strap-on chainsaw.

First, let me say Nick Fuentes can get fucked by a gorilla with a strap-on chainsaw.

But, that Newsweek quote above? Glad he said it, glad he’s feeling betrayed, glad he’s realized he and every other MAGA cultist were conned.

And yes, liberals were right about Trump. We still are.

Gather ‘round, children. Gather ‘round. Sit, sit. That’s good.

Gather ‘round, children. Gather ‘round. Sit, sit. That’s good.

I want you to imagine with me a golden era of entertainment when pleasant yet mediocre movies starred what we then called “SNL veterans” and each film’s title was sung in the chorus of the theme song… I see your looks of confusion, but back then it all seemed to work. We never even questioned it.

So yes, they literally sang the title. Even stranger, these theme songs were inexplicably preformed by incredible artists. It’s true, legendary artists with legacies that seemed nigh impervious to criticism. Still with me? Good. Now, children, I’m going to play you a song or… what do you call it? A track? Yes, I’m going to play you a track.

Prepare yourselves for Sir Paul McCartney’s Top 10 Billboard hit “Spies Like Us.”

I can’t count a single time a company’s “AI assistant” solved my problem. I’ve found them to be…

I can’t count a single time a company’s “AI assistant” solved my problem. I’ve found them to be useless and frustrating roadblocks that delay me from connecting to a human who can actually help me.

But by all means, FDA, let’s use that technology to decide what medicines are safe.

We saw My Chemical Romance last night at Dodger Stadium. It was fucking amazing. It wasn’t just a…

We saw My Chemical Romance last night at Dodger Stadium. It was fucking amazing. It wasn’t just a concert, but the story of a violent fascist Eastern European Cold War-era regime and what they do to dissenters.

And you’ve undoubtedly heard or read the articles about fans shocked at the representation of political assassinations during the show. But, any conservatives clutching their pearls about that should check who they voted for in the last presidential election.