Evil Editor's Blog, page 388

New Beginning 703

Nicholas Tremain watched as the computer screen darkened, casting a shadow across the sky. "She means us to marry."

"What gave you that idea?" Aaryanna asked, snatching her hand from his. "Our first kiss, or your clumsy proposal?"

"I haven't proposed yet," Nicholas reminded her, studying the countryside. Birds paused in midair, the stream ceased to flow, and the clouds no longer moved in the sky. The world held still in anticipation of its author's return, but Nicholas was finally free to act o...

Cartoon 515

Caption: Voter

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Milestone

Evil Editor's Gallimaufry (EvilEditor.net) passed the 100,000 visitor mark today.

Writing Exercise Results . . .

are in the posts below. The task was to write a scene set at a board meeting wherein EE's staff is discussing topics for future writing exercises.

Bored Meeting 8

"Picture it," said a long-time female member of the Minion Board (and very hot). "It's spring 2007, and minions new and old have sent so many dialogue scenes in for you to look it, it takes you all damn weekend to look them over. And it messes up your basketball watching because you get so damn many in, but still, it's fun and it's good. We all read. We all comment. It's a fucking dialogue love-in, baby."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," said Sparky.

"Hey, you can yeah-yeah-yeah me all you want, but in th...

Bored Meeting 7

'Maybe we should scan our bottoms,' said Whirl. 'Biggest bags the Hall of Fame.'

'Great idea!' Evil pulled down his pants and leapt onto the photocopier. A groan. A crash. A tremor. Another idea scratched.

The corpulent editor returned to the table, eyed his gathered minions. 'We gotta think of something,' he said. 'Something really stunning. Set the whole blog alight...'

The minions glanced at each other, as if playing keepy-uppy with some unseen buck.

Then Mrs Varmighan said, 'why don't you off...

Bored Meeting 6

"I say we have writing retreats. Conferences, maybe. How does every week sound to you?" Buffy buffed her nails to a shine and contemplated leaving early so she could spend another few hours in her limo.

Robin raised her hand. "I'd come."

"Anyone else?"

"The unfortunate withering of the economy puts British, West Coast, and other faraway minions at a disadvantage," Dave pointed out.

"Exactly," Steve said."

As Paca worked up some phlegm to forcefully agree, EE stepped in. "Let's get some more i...

Bored Meeting 5

Brickstein appeared deep in thought until a light bulb appeared above his head. "The last will and testament of famous fictional characters," he said.

"Forget it," EE said. It doesn't involve me. My minions prefer exercises in which I make an appearance, or at least those with taste do. I assume."

Dinkwaddle said, "EE turns on the water to draw a bubble bath and then leaves the room to get a manuscript to read in the tub. When he returns he finds Penelope Cruz in his bath."

"Get real," EE said. ...

Bored Meeting 4

Evil Editor has called an emergency meeting of his board of directors. "No one's doing the writing exercises anymore," he says. "We need a new feature for Sundays."

"Maybe we just need better topics," his second-in-command suggests.

EE glares at her, but finally says, "Okay, we'll go around the table, and I want a clever and potentially hilarious idea from each one of you."

"A pictorial essay section documenting the lives of living cartoonists?" suggests the Picture Editor. EE snorts in derision...

Bored Meeting 3

"Four days to Christmas 2012 and the boss wants another brainstorming session," he said as they sat at their favorite lunch table in Gaston's Brasserie, a glass building in the middle of a park-like clover field.

"After yesterday's squirm-fest? Like descriptions of his butt injections weren't embarrassing enough? It's like a Sunday newspaper feature." she said.

"The day of rest, for football. A day for golf. The call from Mother. The dreaded family meals," he said. The sky was clear and blue. T...