Evil Editor's Blog, page 389

Bored Meeting 2

EE looked around the table. Whirlochre's giant eye stared back at him. Robin made a kissy mouth at him. Dave sat silent, deep in thought. Steve Wright was laughing his ass off, probably at something funny he was about to write. Rachel's pencil scratched at her notepad, a new self-portrait emerging on the page. Daley hammered away at his laptop.

"Daley, pay attention. What have you got?" EE demanded.

"Revisions. My agent wants…"

"I don't care about your agent. We're here to promote my blog. You u...

Bored Meeting 1

"Palindromes!" said Meyers.

"Good, ok," EE nodded encouragingly and released the poison darts. Unfortunately, O'Reilly was sitting in Meyers' seat. Oh, well. Those two looked too damn much alike anyway.

"Meyers, read O'Reilly's notes."

"Scene in brogue; limerick form; EE cons leprechauns out of gold-" A troop of angry, six-foot leprechauns poofed out of nowhere and spirited Meyers away.

After a stunned silence, EE looked to Fortinbras.

Fortinbras squirmed with delight. "EE travels abroad. Local mi...

Announcing . . .

The Evil Editor Cartoon DVD!

Many minions have requested that I put out a book of cartoons. I looked into it and decided that to do one in color would cost too much, and to do one in black and white would be dull. So I scrapped the idea. Then I put together a film for myself, consisting of my favorite cartoons set to music. Then I redid the whole thing with an organizational strategy, grouping together cartoons with themes like art, religion, horror, Grisham, etc. At this point it was so enter...

Face-Lift 697

Guess the Plot

Ashley Erin Fox

1. Ashley Erin Fox wants revenge for her hideous 1980's moniker, so she and a skin-artist buddy drug her retro-loving parents' wine coolers and tattoo their foreheads with 'ALF' and 'Golden Girl'. Her parents interpret this as a 'warning signal' and call a therapist. Hilarity ensues.

2. Five kids in her kindergarten class were named Ashley (three of them boys). The other six were called Aaron, A-Rawn, Airynne, Eirean, Erinn and Yairhiynnan. Now Ashley Erin Fox's de...

Cartoon 514

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Writing Exercise

Evil Editor has called an emergency meeting of his board of directors. "No one's doing the writing exercises anymore," he says. "We need a new feature for Sundays."

"Maybe we just need better topics," his second-in-command suggests.

EE glares at her, but finally says, "Okay, we'll go around the table, and I want a clever and potentially hilarious idea from each one of you."


Write the rest of the scene. 300 words max. Deadline Sunday, 10 AM eastern.

New Beginning 702

A blonde little girl was sitting in a swing hung from a branch, "Hi," I said.

The first thing Louisa ever said to me was "My Daddy said I can take a friend to Disney World this Christmas. Do you want to be my friend?" Soon we were playing tea party on the veranda steps; unlike my fragile little hand-painted cups (Victorian relics of a du Bois ancestress) Louisa's were quite new and bright-red, "My Daddy bought them for me for the beach, 'cause I'm his little favorite!" as she banged them aroun...

Cartoon 513

Caption: Mother (Re)produces

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Feedback Request

The author of the query featured in Face-Lift 678 would like your opinion of a new version, which is posted in the comments there.

Face-Lift 696

Guess the Plot

Clandestine Friendship

1. Mom thinks Jimmy's little green elf buddy is imaginary and cute, so she lets him take piles of peanut butter crackers out back for their pretend lunch. But the greenie is really Xulpzi 95, a Martian space ranger and heartless mercenary on a mission to search and destroy!

2. OoegaMar, the forty-first Consort of Iegeth, is bound by her sacred duty to the Gooegen Empire to find and kill Tdyxxxn, the Vrxynnnx of the Qpykkkians. Little does anyone suspect Ooeg...