Evil Editor's Blog, page 386

Comedy Scene 15

Haloumi hurled himself past Dann-Glarr's swashbuckling bulk and cartwheeled over the stationery and horse feed as an icy illumarama of strobe light pounded the corridor walls like a rainbow imprisoned in a demon's skull.

His knowledge of angels was patchy at best, and even on a good day he could scarcely get his head round the concept of the hole in the halo, let alone any of the fancy stuff. But this was nothing like a good day — and judging from the angry cherubic shrieks erupting behind him...

Comedy Scene 14

The only food in Rex and Iz's kitchen was a jar of pickles. There should have been a twenty-five-ounce box of Frosted Flakes too, the Frosted Flakes Iz had bought just the day before, but Rex had gotten stoned and had eaten the entire box in one sitting.

Those were my Frosted Flakes! Iz wrote in his journal after confronting Rex. He continued:

I come in at eleven and decide to have a bowl of cereal before going to bed. I usually eat breakfast at night so I can sleep later in the morning...

Comedy Scene 13

"Yes," said Pippa, "but. Item: one European astronaut out of three recovered. Not a very big return on their technological investment. And he's still in the base hospital. And now they've lost one of their own noble rescuers in circumstances which are, to say the least, bloody peculiar. I wonder how the Congressional oversight committee feel about smarmy Jack's Good Samaritan act right now?"

Tony looked at her wearily. "I think you're making too much of this, Pips," he said. "I was happier whe...

Comedy Scene 12

"I am sorry about that Ehlana but alas my wife has forbidden me to take beautiful women out to dinner." Tarkin knew immediately he had said the wrong thing and grimaced.

"Wife? Wife. Do ye hear that sound? That be the sound of me broken heart crashing into the Mairi Sea. Right into the very heart of the harbor, in the mud, that will be where ye be finding me heart. The crabs be already eating on it. Why or why have all the good ones be taken? I think ye be the only man that could sway me from ...

Comedy Scene 11

[Avery (26) and the narroator (female, 18) are hiking back down a mountain after sunset, with stops for breath-catching and poem-reciting.:]


I sat very still, letting the poem wash over me: the beautiful sounds and images, Avery's voice softening on 'my dearest, thou', the half promising, half menacing sound of 'be lost in me.' Avery fidgeted audibly. "It's Tennyson." he said. "The second half of a poem from *The Princess*."

"I didn't know that one. All I read of Tennyson's was *Idy...

Comedy Scene 10

Nicholas's roommate Bryce sat on the couch, watching television. "How long have you been here?"

"A couple weeks," Bryce said, his voice higher than Nicholas remembered. "We didn't think you'd ever return."

"We?"

"Scott's around."

That wasn't very surprising. "I don't think his author will ever get over her block."

"He wasn't here when I first came," Bryce said, shrugging.

"Interesting," Nicholas said, studying Bryce. There was something different about him. His features were softer, and he had curv...

Comedy Scene 9

The young woman had short chestnut hair, sharp features, and forest green eyes. I noticed right away that while she wore a gold earring in her left ear, her right earlobe was completely missing - ragged and red, like a recent injury. Before I could dwell on it, she flashed me a smile that knocked the reasoning right out of my head.

Blinking, I tried to think of something to say. "Morifeath," I managed finally, giving her my name and extending a hand in greeting.

She ignored my gesture and reach...

Comedy Scene 8

Around siesta time in the floating harbor off San Diego, Estralita DellaGuardia, dressed fashionably in white blouse and slacks, walked up on a pair of muscular legs in blue jeans sticking out of the hold of her runabout RANA. At first, the legs reminded her of mawkish parody of dying bug but then she didn't recall Poppie telling her anything was out of order with the electric motors and charging systems. She drew her pistol halfway before recognizing the broad shoulders and tribal tattoos sn...

Saturday Film Series

New Beginning 705

Showdown: I clip along the street, head up, full of thoughts. There's still at least an hour before I meet Clytie and Lady Gwen, show them a bit of Manhattan before they return to the aquarium. Then, I hear that voice, the one I still try to exorcise…. "Twinkieeeee…." I stride on, pretending I don't hear.

Too late. "Twinkieeee…" as she grabs my forearm, clutching with those pretty silk-painted nails, so now I must slow my gait.

"Hello, Louisa," I say, barely turning my head. She looks stressed ...