Evil Editor's Blog, page 391

Elevator Pitch 3

I stepped into the elevator and nearly stepped right back out, but the doors closed before I could. 40th floor. Oh, goodness, I'd have to ride up 40 floors with this wheezing, flatulent whale?

The elevator creaked to a halt on the second floor, and I nearly got off—until HE walked on. "Oh, my." And then: "Aren't you dead?"

Jimmy Stewart looked at himself. "Well, ma'am, I don't think so," he drawled in the voice that made "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" one of the best movies ever.

I laughed an oc...

Elevator Pitch 2

Willy jumped into the elevator just as the doors closed. All the lobby noise faded away. The only button lit was the fortieth floor. Willy was in luck, forty floors alone to pitch his novel.

"You're EE," Willy said, catching his breath and regretting the stupidly obvious statement.

"Are you Usain Bolt?"

"Willy Dexter-Haven Kittredge at your service Sir. I have the inside-backroom story on the Pacquiao versus Cotto fight complete with intimate pictures and never before heard interviews..." He too...

Elevator Pitch 1

I was the only one waiting when the elevator doors opened. For once I could ride up to my room in peace without having to listen to some hopeless author's pitch. Or so I thought, until I saw the woman running and waving and saying, "Hold the elevator!" Swayed by the depth of her cleavage, I resisted the temptation to let the doors close.

"Thanks," she said. "Hey, you're Evil Editor, right? I've never given my elevator pitch in an actual elevator. Do you mind?"

"First," I replied, "you might tel...

Saturday Film Series

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Synopsis 22

"A man takes care of his family, Michael Callistus, if he doesn't he isn't any kind of a man at all." [Change the second comma to a semicolon or a period.:]

All his life Michael had that mantra drummed into him by his stern aunt Magdalene, and he has done his best to live up to that [it:], looking after his sickly sister Miranda until he can see her married to a fine gentleman who will treat her as she deserves. Michael knows that he isn't the best guardian for Miranda, he's known ever since he ...

Writing Exercise

The 3rd Annual Elevator Pitch Writing Exercise

(You'll find the first two in the archives on 11/04/07 and 11/09/08.)

You enter an elevator in the lobby, along with Evil Editor. It's a long ride to the fortieth floor--the perfect opportunity to pitch your book. But before the doors can close, a gorgeous Hollywood movie starlet [of your choice:] hops in. Write the scene. 300 words max. Deadline: Sunday, 10 AM eastern.[image error]

Cartoon 509

Caption: Mother (Re)produces

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.
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New Beginning 700!

Mara awoke to the sound of different bells.

On most other days of the year, there would be the clangour of the brass handbells as the monitors roved the hallways and wakened their charges for the morning meal. But, this day, there would be no morning meal, and instead of the brass handbells, it was the deep voices of the great iron bells in the high towers that woke her, pealing out over the whole of the great fane in the city of Gran Seray.

Mara turned over in the narrow bunk and pulled the be...

Feedback Request

A revised version of the query featured in Face-Lift 684 is in the comments there. The author would like your opinion.[image error]

Cartoon 508

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.
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