Evil Editor's Blog, page 351

Cartoon 594

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Face-Lift 738

Guess the Plot

Junior Prom or Death

1. Brought up before the Spanish Inquisition for heresy, Ramon is offered a terrible choice.

2. When your aunt tells you your choices are the Junior Prom with Nate Willenburger or death, it's a tough call. And it's even tougher when your aunt is Medusa.

3. Death most certainly. In this recession what seventeen year old boy has money to spring for a limo, a corsage and the Red Lobster dinner that his date will only shuffle around on her plate?

4. Lacey must choos...

Cartoon 593

Caption: Whirlochre

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Writing Exercise Results . . .

are in the posts below. The task was to write a scene in which you and Evil Editor meet at a grocery store check-out line.

Grocery Story 4

Maybe it was the way the air conditioning ruffled his muttonchops. Maybe it was how he corrected the lane's sign to "Ten Items or Fewer". Or maybe it was the way he had thirty-eight items in his cart to start with. Whatever it was, I knew I was in the presence of greatness.

"You're Evil Editor, aren't you?"

"Oh, Christ.," he said.. "A fan."

"One of your biggest."

"Yeah, you could stand to lose a few pounds - just a moment."

There was an interlude while he rang up his items and remonstrated with th...

Grocery Story 3

Nothing good happens in supermarkets. They are a necessary evil driven by Maslov's hierarchy of needs. Or in my case, hierarchy of don't need, but they're three for two and I haven't eaten since breakfast and it's three in the afternoon and a pencil-thin stick of heavily spiced, mechanically recovered meat product might just hit the spot and it can't possibly be worse than those bacon flavoured granola bars last week, I guess, so what the he--

"Hey," I said, looking up from the candy stand cyn...

Grocery Story 2

Wow, aren't you Evil Editor?

Not so loud, please. I don't want to start a riot.

I knew it. I've read your entire blog, bought your DVD, your false muttonchops and your action figure and signed up for your cruise. I figure you owe me a reading of my partial.

I see you have a pint of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia in your cart.

Yes, it was the last one.

That would explain why there isn't one in my cart.

Guess I'm lucky you didn't get there first.

May I have it?

What about that reading?

Technically, the i...

Grocery Story 1

I counted fifty-three carts waiting for the twenty-five checkout stanchions of the brand new, wonderful, everything naturally-grown, supermarket. Twenty of them were self-serve and blinking for assistance. Of the remaining five, three were staffed with trainee clerks and teen baggers who wanted to be anywhere but the supermarket. I took a place behind a wheelchair who was always a fast checkout, a battery-operated Jewish lady in a scooter and her graying son, one geezer in fatigues whose cart...

Saturday Film Series

Face-Lift 737

Guess the Plot

Divinity

1. Jaques Bleu is the award winning three star Michelin chef of L'Arrogant restaurant. He has created mouthwatering dishes even the sternest of critics can't get enough of. Most known for his desserts and Christmas sugar creations he has yet to master... Divinity.

2. When Isis's family moves to Cairo, Illinois, she just knows there is something strange about the popular kids at her new high school. When mysterious Osiris invites her to the prom, she decides to look past h...