Evil Editor's Blog, page 354

Bad Analogies Scene 1

Judgment day -- unseen by the lone spaceship orbiting the planet like a ripe, peach-colored melon, all plump and juicy -- a black iron meteor crossed from the wrong side of the solar system into the wrong part of the sky. Wrong like your daughter's last boyfriend with the goatee that resembled your butt hairs and the suspicious pepperoni-like bulge that wasn't his wallet.

The meteor moved over the ocean, crossed the demarcator from night to day, hid behind the sun and passed like a silent but ...

The 2nd Annual Evie Awards

Last Year the Evies was broadcast at the same time as the Oscars, leading to many complaints, not only from people who wanted to watch both productions, but also from Hollywood stars who were nominated for Oscars and thus couldn't be at home in front of their computers (though word on the street is that most of those at the Academy Awards were keeping up with the Evies on their i-phones). So this year I scheduled the Evies for the day before the Oscars. Happy now, Sandra, Meryl, Angelina?

I wi...

Writing Exercise

Take a scene from anything you've ever written (200 words max) and add five bad analogies to it. The analogies should make some sense. For instance, you might change She walked slowly across the street to She walked across the street like an ankylosaurus trudging through a molasses river, but not to She walked across the street like a pumpkin without a stem.

Deadline: Sunday, 10 AM eastern.[image error]

WTF?

It appears the first two to three weeks of every month has disappeared from my blog archives. I can still access those posts by searching for, say, Face-lift 602. So they exist. So my question is, is the problem just with my computer, and you guys can click on February, 2008 and see the entire month? Is this happening to anyone else's blog archives?[image error]

New Beginning 731

Twas the Night Before Christmas…
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse. . .

Obviously, the author who penned this poem never made it to my house tonight because the noise was deafening, and the creatures causing the ruckus were a lot smaller than a mouse.

Oh, the brouhaha didn't start out that way. First, it was a single flash of light as a faerie flew into my room, and then another flash joined the first. Once you get two faeries together, whispers started.

You wou...

Cartoon 587

Caption: anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.
[image error]

Book Chat

In the comments at 6 PM eastern.

New Beginning 730

Rune stepped over a limestone-laden stream of cold water running across the floor of the cavern. Above him, bat-like creatures twitched and squeaked. He pointed his flashlight at the ceiling thirty feet overhead and fluffed the back of Steve's hair, laughing. Steve hunched over, pulling the hood over his head and neck to prevent any guano from getting on his body.

"Think of each all those flying critters up there like raptors wanting to land ammoniated poo on your head. Don't you just love it?...

Cartoon 586

Caption: anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Book Chat Reminder

The February Book Chat is today at 6 PM eastern.