Roxanne Modafferi's Blog, page 8

Eventful week! Syndicate, Christmas, Ariel, etc

Well these past few weeks have been very eventful.

I flew in Ariel Beck to train with us at Syndicate for a week!

I met Ariel on The Ultimate Fighter season 26, and despite being on the other team (Team Alvarez), we chatted and made friends living in the same house. December is kind of a slow month for Syndicate…I guess people don’t want to come to indoor practice because it’s a frosty 50 degrees outside….? Just kidding. (actually, I’m not kidding) But anyway it was great to have her here. Just like her nickname “Sunshine,” she is super sparkly and positive. It makes sense for us to be friends. And actually, I really needed that sunshine this week.

A few weeks ago, one of our fighters Jessy left Syndicate. It’s too bad she felt so negatively about a place I feel is positive and I love so much. Just goes to show that everybody is different!  I wish her the best of luck wherever she goes next.

I ended up helping teach the little kids Muay Thai class, which was stressful but I feel accomplished that I started figuring it out.

Serena had surgery early December to repair a damaged body part, which is good because she was kind of stagnating and just waiting, not really being able to train. I really miss training with her.

Jeslen, ammy fighter, pro wrestler, and my new friend has been helping me teach little kids jiujitsu in Serena’s place. She’s a life-saver! Thank you!!

I organized a gym Christmas party with Mama Wood. I’m not even sure how many adults came because I was so busy making sure the kids were okay and entertained.

A bunch came. I had bought a pinata and Ariel helped me stuff it and figure out how to hang it. IT WAS AWESOME!!

They all enjoyed hitting it, and when it finally broke, it broke slowly, with candies dribbling out little by little, which was perfect, and then FINALLY when one of the bigger-little kids whacked it, all the kids let out a SCREAM and dove for the candy, which was the optimum reaction. XD I took the pinata box and shook it, scattering candy everywhere. They let out screams of delight as they scooped it up.

Cornering Jeslen, strength training, JoJo’s upcoming fight

Strength training.  I’ve always done sports, but I’ve never been naturally athletic.  I never enjoyed or was successful at lifting weights.  I always did martial arts classes but never physical training, and if I tried, didn’t have results. When I first started fighting, people called us fighters. Now, people call us athletes.  Athletes?  Huh, that’s interesting.  I’m not an athlete! Nowadays fighters train and behave a lot like athletes. They have to.  But my strength is NOT strength.  That doesn’t mean I can’t get stronger.  John told me to do more physical training but I needed guidance.  My body just did NOT put on muscle easily!  I put on fat easily, though. What the heck! Then, I found Lorenzo Pavlica.

Lorenzo and I after my first hammer workout




(pic Invicta 10 weigh-ins, 2014 vs Andrea Lee)

Four years later…

Super Saiyan at UFC  2018 weigh-ins

I just want to win my fights.  I hate losing despite having good technique  because I got out-muscled.   Lorenzo has really helped me see great results that have helped me in fights.  I still laugh when he calls me an athlete.  I don’t enjoy physical training, but I’m very motivated by him.  The way he’s all business, is goal-oriented, and gets stuff done reminds me of my dad.  I’m very motivated by strong male authority figures, probably because I adore my dad.  ^^  

2018

By the way, I don’t enjoy striking arts but I enjoy training with John.  Again,  strong male authority figure.  He’s SUCH a good coach and I can trust him to know exactly what needs to be added to my skills and training to make me a better fighter.  

So yeah.  These past few weeks I’ve been traveling and then caught a cold so my cardio sucks right now, but I’ve been doing a lot of strength training.  Lorenzo said his goal is to make me stronger by my next fight, whenever that is.  

Last weekend, I traveled to Sacramento to corner my new friends and training partner Jeslen Michelle for her third MMA amateur fight in The Panda Cup!  She did great!  Her opponent was a skilled jiujitsu practitioner and Jeslen foiled her attempts well.

Jeslen’s weigh-ins…she’s a babe *_*



wearing the same panties lol XD







my view from her corner

They scolded me and told me I wasn’t allowed to take pictures. I was occasionally non-compliant. XD Jeslen fought well, backing her opponent up with strikes, and then when the opponent tried to clinch and drive Jeslen into the case, Jeslen reversed it. Nobody can hold a Syndicate fighter on the cage!

Thanksgiving 2018 – I made it!!

Thanksgiving 2018

I departed on a night flight Wednesday night and arrived in Newark Thursday morning at 7 AM. First stop, my paternal family! I rented a car and drove to Aunt C’s church, where I watched her conduct a bell choir, and I listened to mass. Shortly after it started Cousin A, who had snuck in behind me, waved me over. I sat with her and her family. My other Cousin A and family showed up near the end. It was so nice! I ran over and hugged Aunt C.

Afterwards, we were going to go to a cafe but it was packed, so we all went back to my aunt’s and ate brunch together.



It was so wonderful! My trip was already worth it.

“I made it!”

Alison made me try on her clothes and gave me a few to take home.

Post fight: sad but fantastic week! Make my story

So my fight was rough. I self-diagnosed myself with a very minor concussion because my opponent’s hooks were like bricks on the sides of my head. Good job, to my opponent. One of my goals is to increase my punching power and get a KO some day. Anyway, I’m really lucky to come out of the fight with no other injuries. Thankfully, I’ve never gotten anything very serious like broken or torn, whereas some of my friends have had broken hands, limbs, broken facial orbitals, eye injuries, etc.

It’s a tough sport! Sorry, don’t mean to be morbid, but just stating all the things I’m grateful for! I was dizzy for 30 mins after the fight, had a headache until the next day, then that went away and I just felt a little uncomfortable until Monday. After that, I felt pretty good. I didn’t take any chances, though, and didn’t get on the mats other than to teach kids. I constantly iced my head. My Cryohelmet came in VERY useful. Shoutout to my http://www.cryohelmet.com/, one of my sponsors from my Invicta days!



It’s a helmet with inlaid ice packs and is good for headaches, migraines, and concussion symptoms.

I guess I wasn’t as bad as I thought originally. I did some very light jiujitsu drilling on Friday and Saturday. That made me super happy! Today is Wednesday of the next week, and I’ve been live rolling jiujitsu, just no kickboxing. I went over the first round of my fight with my jiujitsu trainer Mike and he gave me feedback and praise. That was nice.

I know that I need to put this fight behind me and get back to training. Once I become stronger and better, I can get further and further away from the loser me.

THANK YOU to all my fans who are reaching out on social media with encouraging words. Thank you to my Vegas friends and training partners for spending time with me and giving me love!

My UFC 230 NYC fight experience! opinions, pictures

It’s not easy to get a fight set in the UFC, so I’m extremely grateful to my matchmaker Mick and anyone else who made the decision to offer me the fight. Thank you very much. I had REALLY wanted to fight in New York! My cousins and step brother got to come watch.

I was already on my fight-prep schedule with my physical conditioning and dieting (for the most part, although I had to diet hard in the end). I had about two weeks of training to prepare for Sijara specifically, so it’s considered “short notice,” since a full training camp tends to be 6 weeks. I made great use of that time. I made great strides in my technique training – sprawls and scrambles and getting up, or being active in bottom guard. On the first Thursday’s sparring class, everybody was taking me down and I cried because I was frustrated. Coach John worked with me all week and the next Thursday’s sparring, I was sprawling on everybody and defending well. I cried because I was so proud and happy! Training was so good!

It just so happens that during the fight when Sijara finally shot, I had switched stance so I was in the opposite stance, got surprised, and got taken down, basically making all that sprawling practice pointless. You guys didn’t realize when you were watching, but that was FAILURE of two weeks of daily effort and grind in that moment.

I was so upset. I did some good stuff from the bottom, though, so that was good. However, she did a great job of not letting me get back up.



In the second round, her head kick phased me, but it was the follow up punch that flashed me and sat me down. Suddenly everything was spinning, I was looking up at her, and trying to do anything. I think I recovered well, and it was in that round I got my takedown reversal and got on top. I could not pass her guard. I was still rocked, fighting on instinct. Later in the back room, we chatted and she said, “Man, you were going for a leg lock!” Haha You thought that, right? I was going for a “omg do anything to stop her from hitting me”- lock.

In the third round, I felt slow because I was rocked a few more times. I felt sloppy. It was my not best performance, and I am a little embarrassed. I’m sure critics are going to piece up my striking technique again. However, I did my best with the body I am inhabiting, and the physical state I was in. One of my teammates said I fought “valiantly,” and I think that’s a pretty good word to describe it.

I landed some great punches on her, and she was like, “Oh, is that a fly?” and she landed on me, and I was like, “Oh, was that a bulldozer?”



I really feel that she needs to move up to 135 lbs. She had made 125 and 126 previously, but by almost dying. She even had organ failure once!! It’s not fair to us who have to fight you having missed weight. You know I’m not saying that because I’m just bitter I lost…. you guys know me, I honestly care about Sijara. I want her to be healthy and safe….this is already not a safe sport. Please…don’t die. People have died. People drop weight divisions to have an advantage over other people. That’s the reason- so we can re-hydrate and be heavier and stronger. I do it. I cut ten pounds of water. That means I’m 135-ish when I fight. She had said she cut 20 pounds. So that means, if she weighed in at 127.5, she was at LEAST 147.5 pounds or more…. that’s two weight classes up. I can’t help but be a little upset for myself, and sad when I see her so happy she won. I knew she’d be stronger than me anyway. She can take a punch and has good technique no matter how much she weighs. I don’t want the whole weight thing to be on my mind as a factor.

And I know it’s not because she’s not trying. Fans are piecing her up online, telling her to go run and she’s fat and lazy and all that. No way! That’s not it at all! I KNOW she’s training hard. I SEE her post pics of “lettuce sandwiches” and healthy stuff on Instagram. She’s strong willed. She cut her hair off for goodness sakes. It’s her body not cooperating. So please, girl, listen to your body, although I’m sure you are tired of people telling you what to do.

It’s a hard situation because I accepted the fight and all consequences going in. I knew she was going to be stronger and I had to win anyway, but I couldn’t. That is on me. That is my responsibility. I don’t blame anybody for that except myself. When you step in there, no matter if you are secretly injured or whatever state you are in, you have to win anyway. Super heroes are usually tired after fighting through lackeys before they fight the main boss. You have to WIN ANYWAY.

I just couldn’t. However, she had an advantage on top of that strength advantage she already had. Nobody has hit me harder than she has. In the third round, I wanted to just pressure and bum rush her forward, but I couldn’t stand and bang. Who knows if it would have been different if she weighed ten pounds less? I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. As a fighter, I can’t make excuses for myself…. I’ll just tell myself that I lost because I couldn’t succeed, so I have to TRAIN TRAIN TRAIN!!!

I’m going to take responsibility for my loss. But I’m going to take this opportunity and state another opinion I have:

I STRONGLY believe the penalty for missing weight should be applied to the actual fight. Who cares if you lose a few thousand dollars if you can have an advantage in the actual fight? Just like in Japan, those who miss weight should start out with a red card, a loss of a point in a round, I believe. Money doesn’t effect the fight – a point does.

Someone I respect told me that it’s better to be loved than successful. Well, who knows. I’m tired of everybody’s “oh it’s okay” or “you win or you learn” speeches. It’s not okay, and my career took a hit. I’m heartbroken and done thinking about this. I KNOW that the faster I get back to training, get stronger, and leave the current me behind who loses, I can create a new, stronger me, who will win. This is how I deal.

GET STRONGER! MORE TRAINING. ALL THE TRAINING. More physical training! More jiujitsu! More kickboxing!

SO…. it’s healthy to acknowledge what’s bothering you and not keep it stuffed inside, but my mom always taught me to end my thoughts with positive things, so now I’m going to talk about the amazing parts of my trip and fully relish them in the forefront of my mind.

Coach John and Mike Pyle, two men I love and respect, made the effort to come corner and support me in New York. Thank you to infinity. It made me so happy.



I got to participate in media day, and interviewed by lots of cool journalists, including Ariel.



There was a sign with my name on it! HOW COOL!



My friend Katie “Bad Wolf” Spoo traveled from Illinois to hang out and support me.

My cousin Alison and her daughter Pia Rose were able to meet me for dinner at Hurley’s Saloon after weigh-ins! That was so fantastic! And I met my fan-friend Yoshimi, who brought her husband! It was fun speaking Japanese with her!

I’m fighting Sijara Eubanks in Madison Square Garden! updates

It has been announced for a few weeks, but I got a short-notice fight to fight Sarj on the UFC 230 card in New York!! I’m so excited! A, I’m fighting soon. B, it’s a rematch against someone I lost to before. C, I’m fighting in New York, which is in a five-hour driving distance of all of both sides of my family, who are scattered around New England. D, it’s Madison Square Garden, a super famous and large arena!

I didn’t think I’d get a rematch quite so soon. Great! I actually feel kind of sorry for her because she was supposed to fight for the title at one point, and then it got switcheroonied and she got stuck with me. *shrug* I plan to put on a great performance and then call for a title shot again. Maybe after the fight I should take off my shirt and say ‘My boobs was hot’ like Derrick Lewis. LOL

After my last BJJ competition and a very busy August, I focused back in on physical training for fights, and started dieting. Well, I always try and stay within five pounds of my water-cut weight for a fight anyway, just in case.

Then I was fortunate to be selected to be Sijara’s opponent on Nov 3rd! Thank you, powers that be in the UFC!

I can’t wait to show how much I’ve grown in the year and a half since we fought. I leveled up to the next level!

Lorenzo is such a great trainer. He knows me so well. I’m so fortunate to have him.

Coach John is preparing me very well for Sijara. This past week, I had amazing breakthroughs and leveled up! Mike Pyle has added a lot to my game, too, just in the past few weeks. Man, I’m so happy. I cried on Thursday because I had such a great performance in practice and didn’t get tired.

I brought out Amanda “The Ladykiller” Bell to help me train! I believe I have what I NEED here at Syndicate, but it’s nice to have extra partners. JoJo is great! Jessy is strong and skilled. However, Serena can’t go hard because of an injury, Chelsea just fought so I wasn’t sure how hard she’d be able to go afterwards, a few other regulars who are smaller guys have been coming on and off lately, so yeah. Dude, she quit her job early to be here for me ASAP!

I feel soooo great!

My birthday, Khabib -Conor opinion, 125 lb title fight stuff

I haven’t blogged in a while!

It was my birthday on September 24th, and I turned 21. Just kidding, but I feel like I’m getting younger because I’m getting stronger and healthier!

Summary of my 35th year of life!!

It’s my birthday tomorrow. Man, I feel younger at 36 than I did between the ages of 25 and 30! I was so beat up and injured constantly from training all the time, always exhausted from working full-time, training a lot, and sleeping a little. Now thanks to Teri, my massage therapist, Lorenzo my strength and conditioning trainer, Jake Steckel when I first came to Vegas, and smarter training, I feel great and strong. At 30 in Japan, I barely was able to complete a training session and considering retiring until the Ultimate Fighter Season 18 happened.

Anyway, this entry is a reflection on my 35th year of life. It was awesome. My year started out just getting out of TUF 26 and watching it on TV from September to December!

I had a great trip to Japan last September and saw a lot of friends and old teammates.

In October last year, Bobby (Amanda Bobby Cooper visited for a few weeks to train! That was fun!)



Lots of success with my kids class and numbers are ever growing!

Wesley stopped being able to come, which I’m sad about because I love him, and Bailee moved away, which makes me sad but I wish them both the best of luck and jiujitsu in their future!

A big change in my life was my professor Captain leaving the gym, but he still came to help me train for a potential fight on the TUF Finale card. My jiujitsu life went through an upheaval.

I really noticed a lot of strength gains by training with Lorenzo that really started paying off this year! We’ve been training together about three years as of this fall, I think.

I was slated to fight Barb on the finale but Sarj couldn’t compete and I got the opportunity to fight for the UFC TITLE! Experience of a lifetime that every fighter wants! I’m so thrilled I could have it!

LAS VEGAS, NV – DECEMBER 01: (R-L) Roxanne Modafferi punches Nicco Montano in their women’s flyweight championship bout during the TUF Finale event inside Park Theater on December 01, 2017 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Jeff Bottari/Zuffa LLC/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images)

I couldn’t win, though.

Japan trip 2018 part 3: friends, Fukuzushi, My Hero Academia movie

Thursday, Serena and I did Groundslam’s pro practice again. People came late so we sparred a bunch beforehand, and then I enjoyed sparring with some other people who came. We didn’t get a group picture this time. It was nice to see Omigawa-san again! He said that he came especially because he heard I was going to be there. How nice! We grappled and he kicked my butt, but maybe slightly less than last year. I survived!

Japan trip 2018 pt 2: Swords, Asakusa, Tokyo Tower, giant ice cream, friends

I was so excited for Monday morning’s pro practice at Groundslam. I hoped to see all my old training partners, especially famous veterans like Caol Uno and Hideo Tokoro who are still fighting. They always trained well with me, using great control, but going hard enough that I didn’t feel like they were babying the ‘girl’ fighter, you know?

So class was supposed to start at 9:30 and I knew everyone came late. Seiichiro-san opened the door at 9:30 and Serena and I quickly changed and started warming up. Nobody came. Like an hour later, Nakadai “The Shark” came, but I’ve never really trained with him because he’s huge and scary. lol (nice guy, though) Seiichiro-san had a broken nose so he wasn’t training. The gym owner and head instructor Katsumura-san said numbers have been low lately because people don’t have fights coming up. One young guy who was fighting in Pancrase came and Serena and I both sparred him, in addition to each other.



I’m glad we got some training in!

After that, I took Serena to where I used to live in Hirama and we had sushi with my host mother from my study abroad days. It was nice to chat with her again! She’s in her early eighties so I’m just glad she’s still healthy and moving around. She took a train an hour to see me!

I didn’t find any Boruto stuff I wanted, or Hakuouki, or most of the other stuff I was watching… I already have some cool My Hero Academia and Attack on Titan stuff. I was kind of disappointed, actually, that they didn’t have merchandise for the anime I was currently watching. Oh well.

On the way back, we found Shakey’s Pizza Ikebukuro branch and ordered a GIANT ICE CREAM PARFAIT!!!!!