Roxanne Modafferi's Blog, page 11

level up! Brown belt anniversary, anime con, kids jiujitsu

I’ve had a fantastic couple of weeks!

I’ve been training specific techniques. The learning curve goes like this: see and hear explanation, practice with no resistance, practice with a little resistance, practice with a lot of resistance, try to do in sparring with 100% resistance, become able to do multiple times in sparring. I finally got to the final stage in a few of these techniques.

There was stuff I couldn’t do in my last fight that I can do now!

That means I’m a different fighter than I was a few months ago.

I’m so happy!!

I’ve been doing a lot of striking and wrestling privates. I’ve been enjoying working with Hannah for wrestling. Coach John is such an amazing coach. He can teach me little details and combos and moves that improve me so much. I’m so glad I’m here at Syndicate.



Thanks for the picture, Ryan Loco!

I’ve been training a lot with Serena, of course, and also Chelsea, Jordan, and Natan!

I love team Syndicate.

This coming Sunday, Jan 28th, is the one year anniversary of me getting promoted to brown belt by Capitão. It was one of my favorite moments in my entire life. I had been a purple belt for like 10 years (which is like three times longer than normal). I tried a tournament a few weeks after my Invicta title fight, just to “see where I stood in the gi,” and I got tapped out once, and lost by decision to a beatable opponent in my second match. I was so devastated that I applied myself and trained SO hard. Capitão is such a great teacher. I started obsessively going to his classes, and he really taught me a lot. I love his teaching style. He also became a great friend.



It was hard to take a lot of jiujitsu classes ON TOP of all my other MMA training. I was exhausted all the time. My purple belt was in tatters. I felt depressed every time I looked at it, which was every day. Every day I wanted to get better. I was trimming threads off it every day. “I gotta reach brown belt level before this thing falls apart,” I thought to myself every day. My no-gi level was high, but through disuse, I had forgotten a lot of techniques involving the gi. Chokes, balance, muscles used are totally different! Anyone who says otherwise is wrong. It’s a different world and fighting style.

Finally, in January 2016, I went to another tournament in California, sponsored by Remove it Restoration! Capitão went with me. I won it!

He actually promoted me to brown belt on the podium! I always dreamed of that. It seemed like the coolest way to get surprised with promotion ever, but I never thought it would happen to me.

One of the happiest days in my life.

Now, Capitão doesn’t train or teach at Syndicate anymore and I’m so sad. I cried a lot about it, actually. Nobody knows how much I cried over it because I never mentioned it online before. But no matter what other teachers I train with, Capitão will always be one of my best teachers and a big part of my life! I’m looking forward to the next time we can train together.

We rolled last Saturday. I miss him so much!

Every week is so busy, but in particular, this past Saturday was crazy. Syndicate had an open house, during which they put on a mini-jiujitsu tournament, and Muay Thai exhibition matches between members. I volunteered to sign autographs at a table! Not a ton of people came over, but oh well. I met some nice people and chatted with others.

announcements, The Reen’s b-day, TV & anime, events

First and foremost, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my friend/roommate/training partner/nacho buddy/movie buddy Serena “The Southpaw Outlaw” DeJesus, aka “The Reen.”

Gee, you have many names.

But there is only one Reen.

Christmas vacation on the east coast!

I had a really super duper vacation. It really felt like vacation! For the first time in years, I didn’t feel the itch to get to a gym and train while I was in Boston or NY. I wouldn’t have minded, though. I had JUST fought so I didn’t mind just relaxing, spending time with my parents, and eating whatever. I did miss my Aunt’s Italian cooking, though!!

It was FREEZING so I didn’t even want to take walks around the block like I usually do. I did squats, lunges, and push ups in my room, though.

I especially enjoyed chatting with my dad this visit. He gave me lots of financial advice and taught me how to sell the stocks he bought for me a decade ago. He is vast ocean of knowledge and I’m fortunate to be he daughter, for many different reasons.

The fight continues after the fight….

After the fight, Dana White came over and said something to me. It was very nice, like “Great fight” etc. I thought, “Man, I wish I could record this somehow cuz I ain’t gonna remember it in five minutes.”

I was right. ;_; My brain was still in that hazy fight-zone. Once the bell rang, I knew she was going to get the decision. I didn’t get “beaten up,” and I think I landed more strikes on the feet, but I know she got some good positions on the ground, so she was going to get it. She did.

You lost. You didn’t get the title belt! You could have beaten Nicco!

I used every ounce of effort in my body to win that fight. I fought hard. Be proud.

We gave our speeches and I left the octagon. I still didn’t know where to go. People were milling around. My nose hurt. I wanted ice.

“Where am I going? Somebody lead me!” Somebody lead me towards the back. On the way out, fans leaned over the guard rail and wanted to slap my hand and take pics. I always feel bad ignoring one side to go on the other side. I slapped a few people’s hands, and then I saw my friends, so I rushed over there. I hugged them….

You’re the loser tonight. Killers are going to flood the division soon.

It was a great fight. I should be proud.

I went to my favorite restaurant with my friends. It felt great to be in a comfortable place with people I loved. I started reading my social media and saw how everybody was talking about what a great fight it was. Then somebody told me that I should have tried more takedowns, that I didn’t even try but if I tried I could have won, and analyzed the fight. That made me feel really crappy. It was too soon to analyze. That’s supposed to happen in a few days.

I’ve been here before.



Here. Mental and emotional Hell. It’s where many fighters go after a loss. It’s dark, sad, and cold.

But before long, a staircase forms. When I go back to training and change myself, I get better, so I can leave the past me behind and climb the staircase out.

The more I improve, the higher I climb. And my friends and coaches are there to give me a hand up onto the first step.

The first week after my fight, my nose was swollen but not broken, and my eye was half swollen shut.

People you meet ask you if you won and you had to tell them no.

But she looked just as bad. And it was fight of the night.

I was hoping to go back to teaching kids on Wednesday but I got a skin infection from the UFC cage mat! -_- Well ppl are walking in there with shoes on and all so I’m not surprised. At least the UFC paid my doctor’s bill. The bursa sack on my left elbow was swollen, probably from me hitting her head with it.

Too bad you didn’t win.

At least I’m not on crutches.

IT HURTS SO MUCH.



But it’s not a serious injury. Every time I bent it, it stung like crazy, or if I breathed on it or leaned on it. And my left thigh/knee hurt from twisting it before the fight, and then she kicked it a bunch of times, so it was throbbing for a week after the fight. I’m grateful those are the the worst things. I think Nicco’s foot is broken. :/ I have friends who have had their skull orbital bone broken or cracked or something.

Her foot might be broken, but at least she’s the champion. You should have been the champion. You’ve been training for longer. You’re better.

She is very skilled and trained hard, too. She’s a great person and a good champion.

So yeah. I really didn’t rest a whole lot. I mean, I didn’t train, but I went everywhere. I had so many chores to take care of, and I did a ton of things I’ve been putting off. I got my car maintenanced, hair cut, did a few interviews like the MMA Hour, and had a few meetings with my coaches.

I went about my day doing chores.

Why couldn’t you take her down?

Because….. I didn’t see the chance and I didn’t want to dive in after it.

You didn’t even try.

Yes, I did…on the cage she was stronger, and everybody else got tired trying, so I decided strategically not to force it.

No, you didn’t….you didn’t try hard enough!!

I took her down twice, dude! Did anybody else ever take her down? Just shut up.

People in Walmart and the grocery store were coming up to me saying that it was a good fight and they all wanted me to win. It made me so happy that they made the effort to call out to me and tell me this! Some people came RUNNING over.





People on social media sent so many nice messages saying how inspirational I was.

Yeah, inspirational in your FAILURE!!

I accomplished my goals of 1) showing the world, Dana White, my coaches that I’ve improved. Everyone has said it. 2) I also have a UFC contract. 3) I inspire people and show what a martial artist should be like.

I argued with the voices in my head all day long for seven days. When I was a child and said something negative, my mother always always said something positive afterwards. “Well at least…” or “Look on the bright side…” or “But this thing is good!” So when I became an adult, I realized how valuable that was, and trained myself to notice if I said a negative thing, and make sure I always counter that with something positive.

It’s almost like Dark-side Light-side.



I am a Jedi and will never fall to the Dark Side.

(Yes, I saw the new movie. I loved the action scenes, the acting, the special effects, but I hated the plot.)

So I was happy with my coaches meeting. My schedule is already pretty loaded up so it’s hard for me to tweak it, but we decided I’m going to stuff another strength and conditioning session in my week. I’m also going to add one more day of private lessons with John. I’m feeling good about that plan. That plan is the staircase. I just want one built so I can start climbing it and get away from the current me.

Jiu-jitsu is an issue, though, because one of the men I chose as my teacher, Captain, no longer teaches at Syndicate, and the other man, Casey, just had ACL surgery. I mean we have other teachers at Syndicate, but you know….they’re THE ONES. It’s hard to explain. That’s still an unresolved challenge, but thankfully, does not relate to my two main goals.

You are starting to suck at gi jiujitsu!

But I love it, so I’ll just train it and then not suck. I already proved that.

You’re going to be so embarrassed training with other higher level belts!

I’m not afraid.

Last week, Syndicate hosted Rowdy Rollers, an all-female BJJ open mat that happens once every three months or so. IT WAS SO GREAT. My nose and elbow hurt a lot, but I enjoyed rolling with people. My biggest accomplishment was not getting tapped out by Tammi. lol





Great turnout!

Last week was the second week after my fight and I trained lightly. I did mitts with John and he fixed one of my steps so my strikes suddenly got more power. THAT WAS CRAZY. That one little adjustment helped my balance SO much, and the power of my hook. It was like…..WHAT?!? How is this possible!?!

A few people have told me to go to a boxing or Muay Thai gym. Um, guys, I don’t think that’s the problem.



I landed SO much. But now, if I fix my step that John is teaching me, I’ll have knockout power. You guys are gonna be so surprised.

John is my Jedi master and I will never ever leave him and Syndicate, nor do I have a desire to train striking with anyone else. So ya’ll can save your breath.

My TUF 26 Fight Week blog – Roxy vs Nicco for the title

I got a link online to watch the last TUF episode, so I watched it on Monday. It’s always interesting to watch my own fights because I forget half of what happened and how it happened. My fight against Sijara was great, but since I lost, it made me feel really down. I knew I had to snap out of it since I would be fighting Barb that Friday. I tried. I’d been dieting, salt cutting, and water loading. My weight cut was going according to schedule. I got my final massage therapy from Teri and I felt great. In fact, I’ve never felt so great! I was also in great shape. I did my final set of running stairs. I reviewed the game plan with Coach John on mitts lightly. My mind was ready. My emotions were ready.

Wednesday evening, I taught my 4 o’clock kids class, and then started my weight cut by putting on a sauna suit, sweat clothes, doing cardio like jump rope and the bike, and hitting mitts with John. I had stopped eating and drinking at 3 PM that afternoon. It was hard to keep a sweat going in the cool wintertime, so I ended up doing a bath for like 15 minutes at home and losing a pound.

TUF was on that night, so I monitored my social media for people’s replies and actions. People were supportive and kind to me, about my fight, and about the fact that I wouldn’t have the title shot. Finally it was released that I’d fight Barb. Yay.

I planned to get up at 4:30 so Serena and I could go to my teammate Casey’s house. My apartment ran out of hot water quickly, so I needed a house’s bathtub to cut. The hotel rooms that were provided had showers only. WTF That was a big source of stress for me, trying to figure out where I’d cut weight. Eric and Andrew were staying at John’s so I thought there wouldn’t be a tub for me to cut in. Serena’s parent’s house’s water heater JUST broke, so they were out.

I went to bed.

2:30 AM my phone rang. I’d been leaving my phone on because my schedule was erratic and I was scared of missing a USADA drug testing surprise visit. I jolted awake and grabbed my phone. It was an unknown number.

USADA?!?!?!?!?!

Roxy: “…. hello…?

man: Yes, hi this is Mick, the match maker at the UFC.”

Roxy: “…….oh….hi…”

Mick: “Sorry to call at this time (something like this, I was half asleep) but ….. Sijara most likely won’t make weight. Would you like to step in and fight for the title?”

Roxy: “uh…………….. YES!!!!!! Yes!”

Mick: “So you’d have to make 125 on the dot.”

Roxy: “Yes! No problem! I mean, I know I just fought Sijara on the show but I’ll fight her again.”

Mick: “….You’d be fighting Nicco.”

Roxy: “…omg I am half asleep…. of course, Nicco. Great.”

Mick: “Haha don’t worry, I am, too. We still have to get a hold of Dana. We’ll let you know when it’s confirmed.”

Roxy: “Okay! Bye!” *squints at the clock* Omg it’s 2:30.

I was shaking from the adrenaline of being jolted awake. Then I thought, man, there’s no way she’s going to miss weight. This happens every time she fights. She’s gonna cut her hair or something and be fine. Dang it. Oh well.

It took me an hour to go back to sleep, but I got another hour in before I had to wake up to go to Casey’s.



I only did two salt baths instead of my normal four, thanks to cutting out salt earlier in the week!

Thanks Serena and Casey! Captain came to support me but I was already done. Thanks anyway!

124.5 pounds! I texted Mick the photo of my scale reading that weight, and he confirmed that Sijara was out and I was in. “Are you sure? She’s so determined to do it…” I said. “No, she’s in the hospital with kidney failure,” he wrote.



Dang, that’s horrible!! Worrisome! I hoped she was okay, but omg I was fighting for the title!??

It started to sink in. We drove to the Monte Carlo and hung out until weigh ins.

We did the official weigh-ins.



I’m not allowed to wear anything crazy for weigh-ins like I usually do, so I did a pose: the Vulcan Salute.

TUF26 blog ep 12: Roxy vs Sijara! the final episode! all the details!

This blog is a little late because the last TUF episode aired literally the day I started cutting weight for my TUF Finale fight.

Let’s travel back in time to the TUF 26 house in August. Everybody was looking forward to going home and was counting down the days. My fight vs Sijara was on the last day. We’d fight at noon, and then go back to the house, pack, get our phones back, get bussed to the hotel, and then go out to eat with Dana White. Busy busy. There were two matches…me vs Sarj, and Barb vs Nicco.

So my body was really unhappy with me for putting it through so much stress so frequently. It sucked cutting weight 7 days after my last cut. Other TUF contestants who made it as far as I had said so, but I didn’t realize what that really meant. My body always swells up for about two or three days after my cut, probably due to depriving it of sodium for a week, dehydrating myself ten pounds, and then suddenly eating and drinking a ton. I hit 145 the day after my Emily fight, which is ridiculous. I was walking around normally hydrated at 135. After I fought Emily, I only had one cheat day, and then went back on my diet. My period came and went although it wasn’t my time for like two weeks straight, indicating my hormones were confused and effed up. I didn’t have an appetite for a few days after my fight with Emily, which is weird…even when I’m sick, I always have an appetite. I was a little worried about myself. Lol

I just want to share with the public what goes on behind the scenes with female fighters.

I was also nervous about my state of physical conditioning going into the fight with Sarj because I’d been taking it easy a few days before fighting Emily, and then of course I had to rest my body after the fight. But then I’d be in the “take it easy before my fight with Sarj” period, not leaving me any time to recondition for it, since they were only 7 days apart! I figured Sarj was going through even worse with her weight cut and stuff. :/ I think I did burpies every day and tried to train kind of hard for two days that week, which I wouldn’t do on a normal fight week. The Ultimate Fighter is bizarre. I was actually worried about Sarj’s health. I gave some interviews saying that I felt the moral responsibility to beat Sarj to save her from having to cut weight down to 125 for a title shot, hoping the UFC would sign her for 135 lb fights.

Weight in morning, I was in the process of losing my final 4 pounds weigh-in morning in the bath tub, being helped by Maia as usual. I was taking my 8 minute break wrapped up in towels on the floor when I saw Sarj walk by chatting energetically with someone. I thought, “What? Is she done?” I tried to eves-drop and gathered that she cut it all at the PI the night before and was on weight. Well dang, that’s great! I was relieved and happy for her! She’s my friend, after all, until the moment she steps into the cage with me.



I didn’t have any other ideas for funny weigh-ins so I just wore the shark hat that my friend Katie gave me. I was thinking I’d wear it for a stare-down with DeAnna if we fought again because she brought a shark onsie, but that ended up not happening.



It looked super goofy, but whatever, it goes with my personality. Lol

So after weigh-ins, the teams decided to have a group practice. I’m so disappointed that the TUF editors didn’t show this! It was epic! This was the first time teams practiced together in the entire 15 year history of the Ultimate Fighter! Team Gaethje fighters hit mitts and grappled with Alvarez coaches, and vice versa. Then they played dodgeball and rugby and stuff. I wanted to join in so much, but I had just cut weight and would fight tomorrow, so I knew I couldn’t. It was amazing to watch!!



Then, the next day, Sijara and I fought.



It was epic. The only thing more epic than that fight was my title fight a few days ago, but I digress. I feel like I was winning on the feet. I started to feel my arms and legs get a little tired in the middle of the fight, and I knew it was because I didn’t have my normal conditioning with Lorenzo. Man, I really missed hearing John’s voice call out combinations. I kind of winged it….all I could hear was Justin telling me “go forward!” and “She’s getting tired!” Yeah, well, I was going forward…what combos do you want me to throw? And NO, she’s NOT getting tired. Stop saying she’s getting tired. -_-;; I know they were doing their best to coach. I’ll never blame a coach for my loss. It’s totally my responsibility.

I wanted to take her down, but she was so much stronger than me, so I decided to try and keep it standing. She reversed positions and defended takedowns with muscle to aid her technique. It was one of those situations where our technique ability was similar but she had more strength to back it up.



Yes! Judo throw takedown!



Yes!



wait….



noooo….



wtf! -_-;

She didn’t do any damage from top positions because I deflected ground and pound, but it looked good for the judges.

She defended my submission attempts. She fought very well. I felt like I lost but I didn’t feel like she beat me up, you know? I like Sijara and she worked so hard for it that I wasn’t mad, but I was of course devastated. I worked hard, too, for years. I’ve been fighting for 14 years, making pennies. I try so hard not to be jealous when some young newcommer gets signed having less than ten fights and is making tens of thousands of dollars. I wanted to win for myself and also for my coaches. The cameras didn’t catch me crying this time because I locked the bathroom door. Hahaha take that!

They made me sit off to the side in the shadows while Barb fought Nicco. I tried to focus but couldn’t.



When Nicco won, I thought hazily, “Maybe I can fight Barb on the finale now! I got to the semi-finals so there’s no way they won’t put me on the undercard!” I felt hope and knew I just had to go back to Syndicate and get stronger.

I gave a really good post-fight speech but they only showed a little bit of it. I talked about how, now when I feel the worst is the most important time to force your mind to focus on the positive aspects, because once you start slipping down the slope of negativity, it’s even harder to crawl out of that hole.

I kept reminding myself of how many of my punches landed on Sijara, which is an accomplishment for me, how we put on an exciting fight and impressed Dana, and how I might get to fight Barb if they let me in the finale.

As expected, they carted us back to the house, had us pack and get ready for dinner…which was REALLY hard when you’re mourning your fight loss, depressed, hurt, exhausted, etc. I binge-ate all the left-over ice cream in the freezer, stuffed my bags with non-perishable food from the pantry, and ate the sushi burritos that the staff from Jaburritos. THANK YOU, guys OMG. They didn’t have to do that! XD

We took a bunch of pictures.

I got the staff to drive me home instead of a hotel, and I got to hug Serena! Then I went to drive to the Italian restaurant on Freemont street at like 7 PM but my car Lee’s battery had corroded from disuse!! So Serena called me an Uber. ^^;; Poor Lee.

Dinner was nice!



Yeah so that was the final day and the story of my fight. The next week I went back to my normal kids teaching schedule at Syndicate, and the week after that, training. Things that happened during my fight with Sijara haunted me for months, as losses tend do. I asked John if I could request the match up with Barb. He said yes, and the very next week, they offered without us having to ask!

…. stay tuned for my next blog about that!

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Last week (kids BJJ tourney, training, Thxgvng) TUF 26 ep 11 blog

shout out to my blog sponsor

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Last Saturday my friend Serena and I coached our jiujitsu students at a tournament. Scarlett ended up fighting the same girl twice and won both times, giving her first place! I don’t know why my other student Griffin decided he didn’t want to compete…. his older brother did but didn’t win. They all fought hard, though.

She immediately got o-soto-gari, got side control, got mount, and worked for the choke. Couldn’t finish it, though, so won on points.



She’s soooooooo cute. She’s small and quiet for her age (I think she’s 6, almost 7?), so I’m glad she’s doing something like jiujitsu.



My friend who I met in Japan Brittany came and visited Vegas, and we had lunch together while she was here!

TUF 26 ep 10 blog – Life in the TUF house, Barb vs Rachael, Nicco vs Montana

8/11 I fought the previous day, but today, it’s fight day for Nicco and Montana. I didn’t know which of them would win. I like them both and they are both skilled, but I suppose I hope Nicco wins since I’m a bit closer to her. Montana was my favorite sparring partner, though. I never really like to try to analyze and make guesses on fights… I’m not good at it, and really, anything can happen in a fight. It’s like a gamble.

I had a really hard time sleeping last night. Not sure if it was the caffeine I took at 1 PM for my fight, or just the exhilaration of the fight. I never sleep more than an hour of dozing off the night of a fight, but this time it was in the afternoon so I thought I might sleep. It could also be the tension of watching and knowing my next opponent. Man, this weight cut is hard on Sarj. How could she make 125 for the title of she has to cut her hair every time to make 126? I worry about her health.

I had ordered sushi for a victory dinner a day in advance, but it hadn’t come. I was really disappointed and was complaining about it to my friends. Then one of the producers came out and apologized, and I felt bad and like a petty brat because I forgot they could hear everything I said on my necklace microphone. ~_~; I ended up eating veggies, eggs, and a bite of chicken for dinner, which is the most pathetic victory dinner I’ve ever eaten. I would have to fight in one week, though…. I ended up figuring out how to fire up the portable firepit table outside and made some smores! Nicco, Gillian, and Karine joined me joined me. That was nice and fun and finally felt like a celebration. I had trouble relaxing, but that helped.

I had been feeling a little queezy, actually. And my body was getting its period on and off for the past two weeks.

I know for a fact that it means my body still feels a little messed up from the weight cut- the stress and low percentage of body fat. I couldn’t eat a lot even if I wanted to.

That was yesterday, the day of my fight. This day I woke up at 2 AM and cooked rice and eggs plus broccoli I swiped from the fight catering that they bring us on fight days. I couldn’t sleep, so at 3:30 AM I sat at the kitchen table and drew two Japanese hanafuda cards with the colored pencils Shana and DeAnna requested from the House Fairies.

They came out not perfect, but pretty enough to make me happy. I posted one of them above, along with the original. Then I cleaned the kitchen and did a few loads of towels. During that time, an air conditioner on one side of the house broke, so one of the producers Mr. C came out and offered everyone fans, since it was really hot in the dead of summer. At 3 AM. I can’t believe he was still up! What a guy…. “I leave when my work is done.” Much respect to that. That’s why the show is such high quality! I went then outside and lay outside on the hammock under the stars. But I still wasn’t sleepy! Karine came out and we talked a bit.

Finally, I lay down around 5 AM and woke up around 6:30 AM. YAY more sleep.

The staff wanted to film me turning over Shana’s picture on the tournament line-up board and putting up Emily’s but I politely refused. I didn’t want to. It just felt sad to me. I mean, she already lost and felt sad about it, so to see footage of her opponent flipping it over is even more sad, right? I didn’t like it. I had to appeal to the upper level bosses, but it got okayed that I didn’t have to do it!

hard but amazing week, and TUF 26 ep 9

This past week was hard because I started to catch a cold the previous Friday. I managed to rest and recover so I didn’t get a fever or anything, but I felt so drained and exhausted all of last week.

I still trained, of course, because I wasn’t in the contagious stage anymore. I had many great practices. I improved my jiujitsu with my private lessons with Captain. Man, I always feel like I level up after training with him. Did mittwork with John, always improving all aspects of my game. I feel so confident. Serena helped me with a shark tank with him in the cage, which is intensive training including striking, grappling, cage-work, and ground and pound. Serena helps me so much in training! I’m really appreciative. Lorenzo has helped me get stronger and get in great shape. I love him!

Last week my second fight aired on The Ultimate Fighter! I did an interview with the Las Vegas Review Journal with Heidi found here:

https://www.reviewjournal.com/sports/mma-ufc/roxanne-modafferi-previews-tuf-26-fight-against-emily-whitmire-video/

and then FOX sports flew me to Los Angeles to be on TUF talk! I did shark tank in the morning and hurried to the airport after that. I was so exhausted from training, plus my body finishing up killing my cold, but I think it was good for me to be on the show. It was such a cool experience!

A professional make-up artist did my make up…. I told her “natural.”

I had a dressing room with a star next to my name, next to Karyn Bryant! I got to talk to Daniel Cormier! I got to show off my Spiderman socks and explain my collection on national tv. hahaha!

The episode had my fight, Sarj vs DeAnna, and then what happened with the weight cut. Everyone was asking me what I thought of Lauren’s actions. Man, Lauren is taking a lot of heat right now. I kind of feel bad for her.

Yes, I think it was okay that she and like 5 other people started cutting weight. Yes, I think she should have vacated the sauna earlier when Sarj asked her to. BUT she apologized later. People make mistakes. All you can do is apologize for them, right? Lauren REALLY tried so hard to be cool with everybody, fighters on both teams, and the coaches, too. She was always polite when talking to people. She never exploded angrily and cussed anybody out, except when Eddie called her the wrong name. She wanted to win so badly! She wanted to fight so badly!

I also understand Sarj’s perspective, too. It’s upsetting to have someone trying to vie for your spot and opportunity, and she did have one more hour.



Unfortunately, there was only one sauna. AND only one scale.

Guys, it’s so rough to be in the TUF House. It’s a pressure cooker and there is no escape. You literally can not leave. You have no emotional support unless you made close friends while on the show. Someone on Twitter once said that my TUF blogs sounded negative, and what was wrong?

It’s REALLY HARD and not exactly pleasant to be locked away with no freedom, having to do exactly what the staff tell you to do, without your team, etc. I wanted my team, my gym, Taco Bell, my anime, my friends, everything. At least I had my pillow! Actually, this experiences wasn’t that bad for ME. The staff were really polite and bent over backwards to do what they could to make us comfortable and happy within the limits of their power. I’m really grateful for all their efforts.

I never like calling fights. When someone asks me who I think will win, I never really am convinced anyone will win. Anyone can beat anyone at any given time! Even if you analyze their skills and strengths. I fought Jessica Rakoczy on Season 18 She was 1-2 as a pro MMA fighter and beat me, and I was like 15-9 or something, I forget.

I know who I WANT to win. I really liked Sarj but I knew DeAnna personally from before so I wanted her to advance. I always just tell the questioners that my friend will win. lol I was so shocked at that head kick KO! It was…stunning. I thought Sarj was a boxer. Whelp, I guess she can kick, too! Damn! Well, I kind of didn’t want to fight DeAnna again because I had already fought her and won, but on the other hand I thought I would win again so that would be good…but I didn’t want her to LOSE to Sarj, which would be what would have to happen for us to NOT fight again.

That was a long sentence. Did you get that? lol

There were actually two fights that day. I had gone first, so I got to watch the second one from off to the side in the corner near the doctor check area.

About my fight, I knew Emily had skills. I thought I probably had more since I’d been training for longer. She also only fought at 115, so I figured I wouldn’t get out-muscled. I can’t say I thought I’d be stronger, because physical strength is not one of my strengths. (is that… a pun? not sure. moving on…)

When I got out there….man, I missed Coach John’s voice in my ear telling me what good combinations to throw.



He is the gamer. I am his character. He shouts it, I throw it. We are connected. It’s really cool. This time, I just kind of did my striking by instinct… for better or for worse! I did hear Luke Caudillo (on Team Gaethje) who gave pretty good advice which I followed. Of course when playing any video game, you gotta get used to the controls. He did a great job for a fighter he’d only been training for three weeks. I heard Vinny’s voice perfectly, and he did a fantastic job of jiujitsu cornering. I’m so grateful to them. I think I would have gone nuts if I hadn’t met Luke, who holds pads and coaches similar to John. He also took the time to give me reassuring talks. So grateful.

Maia was always by my side during weight cut, and helping me warm up before my fight. Thank you, my friend! I miss you!

Anyway, I had never actually trained with Emily ONCE because she hurt her rib right as I was getting back to training after my first fight. She probably saw me doing my spinning backfist stuff while she was training elsewhere. I complimented her on her ducking under it and shooting later, and she said, “I saw you thinking about it.” That’s kind of a cool statement.

No, that was not the Roxynado. I gotta be more careful in the future that people don’t read my super attacks.



One interviewer asked me if I felt her giving up in the fight. Um, no? I wasn’t really trying to sense her feelings. I was just trying to hit her as much as I could so the ref would stop the fight. People online are saying I suddenly am “vicious” or have a “new killer instinct.” I don’t really think so… I just know how to throw ground and pound better thanks to Coach John. It was one week after my fight against Mariana Morais in Invicta, where I was hitting her and hitting her and Big John McCarthy WOULD NOT STOP THE FIGHT. He whispered to me in the corner walking by, “You’re not hitting hard enough.” So I said to Coach John later, “Please teach me how to ground and pound better so the ref stops the fight so I don’t have to keep hitting her” And oh he did.

Once in the cage, I’m switched on. I’m no longer kind “Roxy,” I’m “Warrior” in The Happy Warrior, who has struggled, sweat, cried, bled, and bore the pain to get where she is now, to win, to prove herself. I feel no emotions in the cage until time is up.

I’m glad I won. I was just so relieved.

oh btw what was with not showing my weigh in clothes? Maia did my make up, and I wore her black dress which was SUPER tight because it was two sizes too small for me….. and I pretended like I didn’t wanna take it off. It had a zipper down the front. I am shy so it was hard for me, but that was my ‘weigh in dress up’ deal I did. Oh well….

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TUF 26 blog ep 8 – Emily vs Christina, coaches’ challenge

8/5/17

Today is Saturday. Yesterday in the morning, I was still sore, and was so happy when Justin said it was a day for privates. I hit mitts with Luke for about 15 or 20 minutes in the ring, out of view from Emily, who was on the bike which is pointed towards the cage. Luke held foam bats to warm up. It was my first time hitting those. I liked the combos he had me throw.

Then, I did jiujitsu with Justin. Haha He let me get him in a full rear naked choke but his neck was so thick that I couldn’t choke him. He just flexed his neck muscles. I used all of the strength in my entire body and I couldn’t tap him! Captain does that to me! LOL It was funny.

This episode shows a lot of the history of Christina and Emily. I remember Emily said that she will be champion because she doesn’t have other things to distract her, like a family or kids etc. I agree in part with that, that if you are single and focused only on training, you aren’t distracted by other things or responsibilities.

Ask me how I know this.