Roxanne Modafferi's Blog, page 9

Japan trip 2018 , Fri-Sun (Daishi Temple, Godzilla, Shinyuri, Matsuri, Inoki pro wrestling bar)

I had a fantastic time in Japan. My bestie Serena came with me this time. I got to see a lot of my old friends, including a few I missed visiting last time. Of course, I can’t see everyone I want! I’m sad I lost touch with some people.

We left Vegas on Thursday and landed on Friday afternoon in Haneda airport, which is literally in Kawasaki, the city we were to stay in. We dragged our luggage to a “business hotel,” which means it was a tiny, cheap, hole in the wall without even the room for me to stretch out in a straddle without having to stick my feet under the bed! But it had a mini-fridge, sink, and coin laundry downstairs. It was also $45 a night.

We dumped our stuff and met my old training partner friend Goto-san at Keikyu-Kawasaki station. I love Goto-san… out of all my Japanese friends, we’ve kept in touch the most, via text and sometimes skype. It’s thanks to him that I haven’t forgotten all of my Japanese.



We were pushing closing time, but managed to visit Kawasaki Daishi shrine, AND my favorite Sembei (rice cracker) shop! I chat with the owner every time I go, and he gave us free tea and we chatted extensively this time as well. Thank you!!



I think Serena and I went food shopping in Lazona and then went to bed around 7 or 8 PM. The time in America was early morning, so our afternoon was basically us trying to stay up all night American time.

Saturday we woke up, I went for a walk and got super sweaty because it was ridiculously humid. I did great hot yoga in my room thanks to the weather. When Serena woke up, we went to this city gym we researched, but they wouldn’t let us in without indoor shoes. I had forgotten about that! Flat out refused and told us to get off the floor. I offered to go wash the bottoms of our shoes in the bathroom, and she said no. I offered socks, and obviously she said no. We went away and I was so pissed off, but I knew the second she mentioned the shoes that I wouldn’t be able to budge her. She was Japanese! GRRRRRRRRr stupid rules. It’s one thing I love and hate about the country. A rule is a rule and she’d rather die than break it, because then she’d be held responsible and be dishonored and get in trouble. -_- mendokusai na

Serena and I went to the city of Shinyurigaoka, the second of the three Berlitz English schools I’ve worked at, and met my former-student friends Meiko and Moe! Unfortunately, my co-worker Jack could only stop by for a few minutes since our lunch breaks at Berlitz are ridiculously short. Thanks, though, Jack! It was great to see you if only for a little bit. We’ll visit more next time. It was nice to see the ladies again!



After that, we went to Shinjuku and found the Godzilla statue, where he peers ominously over a building.

We went up there and took pics next to the big head. Then we found the actual Godzilla store!

Man, my GPS can’t speak Japanese. The red dot was somewhere, but the blue path to follow was leading to a completely different place.

Finally, we met my former training partner friend Sakura in the Inoki Sakaba restaurant. They had moved and I had a hard time finding it. It was in a smaller location, but still fun. We enjoyed eating and chanting the pro wrestling chants with the staff. Then they held a rock-paper-scissors competition and Serena made it to the finals! She ended up with third place. hahaha

Sakura-chan also got me a big chocolate cake and got the staff to make the whole restaurant sing happy birthday to me. She said, “Make sure you announce that it’s Roxanne the UFC FIGHTER’s birthday!” lol How sweet, making a big deal out of the UFC thing… I would have thought I’d be shy about that, but since getting into the UFC has been a career goal of mine for 15 years, I was so happy!

BJJ Master Worlds, UFC Lincoln, Nebraska, and on to Japan!

I did Otakon, NAGA tournament for kids, NAGA for me, IBJJF jiujitsu world master competition, and yesterday I got back from UFC Nebraska helping support JoJo! My final thing on the list for my busy August is JAPAN!

But first, to report where I left off in my last blog.

I went to IBJJF Master Worlds competition. I managed my weight through water and food management, and weighed at 140 with my gi on feeling pretty good, only a few pounds dehydrated.

There were nine women in my division, which is a lot for women. Men can get into the twenties or thirties or more. It felt like I had to wait forever! FINALLY around noon they called my division and brown belt females started to gather around the waiting area, where we enter onto the mat to fight. OMG SO EXCITING! It’s SO RARE to see other brown belt females and they were CONGREGATING like ….like…I dunno. A pack of wolves! A flock of geese! A pride of lions! I dunno I was so excited to fight them all.

My first girl no-showed! I was sad! COME FIGHT ME. So I got a bye, and was matched up against another girl.

So I went out there and she kept inverting and going for a knee bar, except I didn’t feel in danger at all. Coach Casey called it “The tornado guard.”

I wasn’t feeling in danger but I also wasn’t sure how to pass or proceed because I started getting the feeling her goal might NOT be to knee bar me, but sweep me instead. I think we both were even with one advantage until the middle of the 6- minute match when I was just about to pass her half guard when we went close to out of bounds, so the ref restarted us. DAMNIT.

My heart sank because I KNEW we could never restart in the same position. I tried to notice every position but to no avail. I had a deep underhook and my knee was knee-slicing, but we restarted with her having a strong knee shield and her forearm in my throat. She immediately got her guard back when the ref said go. I was so upset. ;_; I knew in the back of my brain what was happening but told myself I’d just pass anyway. I’m too fair. I always do poorly from restarts. Well, who knows, I’m not going to blame my loss on a restart, only one lost opportunity. From there, she reversed position and got sweep points, and then got side control, and after a while, the match was over and I lose on points. I think she got the sweep points before the restart. I lost because I was unable to pass her guard and get my points.

I’ve never fought anyone with her style before, so that was interesting. I was kind of disappointed in my performance, butbecause I knew I had improved since my last competition, that wasn’t what really depressed me. I was most upset about the fact I wouldn’t get to fight anymore. ALL THE BROWN BELTS were around and I DIDN’T GET TO FIGHT anymore. So sad!

At least I got to compete. My coach got an injury so had to pull out, and a friend at Dunham’s got food poisoning and had to pull out. So I’m grateful I got to do that.

I asked a staff guy running around if I had another match, and he said “no” without checking my name or any papers. hmmm uh…okay. My head was spinning, still in fight mode. My friends were telling me to go pick up my gift bag, and I started thinking about making it on time to teach my kids class. We left and went to eat tacos. That was nice.

My heart hurt, though. I felt like I just lost an MMA fight. It’s not just about losing, but it’s failure after all the HOURS of blood, sweat, tears, and effort that lead up to that moment. It’s mourning the time that was put into something that resulted in failure. And it hurts deeply.

When I got home, I checked my Facebook and a girl I met (who resembles me) and made friends with messaged me and said that they were calling me on the podium for 3rd place. Where was I?!? Because I had gotten the bye, it counted as a win and I had one more match. WHAT?! I could also have competed in the open weight division as a bonus. WHAAAAAAT? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I was so devastated! All I had wanted to do was fight more and I COULD HAVE FOUGHT MORE if that stupid guy had made more of an effort to check his notes! ;_;

Well, I sensed something was amiss so I could have asked someone else, but I was still not thinking straight, having come straight from combat. My coaches could have asked. We all share a bit of that regret. I’m just going to focus on the positive things: I didn’t get injured, like many of the people I saw walking around with ice taped to their body parts. I was able to compete, unlike some of my friends with serious or minor injuries/afflictions that kept them out of the tournament, and I heard that some flights were delayed so some people didn’t arrive on time! MY first opponent had a Polish name, so I wonder if she didn’t arrive in time. How much would THAT suck? Spend all that time and money to fly in internationally only to arrive two hours too late to fight? I also know that the very fact I competed leveled me up a bit. I always feel it. On Monday when I went to training, I FELT a little more…. I don’t know how to describe it. Aware of movement, balance points, technique.

Al Powers took the pics. Thank you!!

Thank you to Casey and Serena for always being there for me, and to Mike, for coming down, hanging out all morning, to coach and support.

I trained normally on Thursday…. was kind of depressed but forced myself to train, and really enjoyed the session. I like helping out Linda, our Indonesian visitor.

Friday, I did a strength session early in the morning and then flew to Lincoln Nebraska! I’m sorry I couldn’t get there sooner, JoJo. I hadn’t been sure at the time if I would fight on Wednesday or Thursday.

Anyway, JoJo was weighed in and ready to fight! Saturday we passed the day, and then in the evening, went to Pinnacle Bank Arena.

I helped JoJo warm up. She was sharp and ready!

It was my first time cornering in the UFC. It was the first time I could actually enjoy walking out to the cage, and enjoy the audience’s cheers without being a hella nervous and trying to shut everyone out and focus on my own fight. Some fans in the stands above us actually shouted “ROXY!” lol Hi, guys, okay, you’re sweet but cheer for JoJo now! It’s her night!

Exciting three weeks! Jiu-jitsu tournaments! UFC Nebraska! Japan! My pride and joy.

I just entered into an exciting back-to-back action packed three weeks! I have five major things going on!

First, on Saturday August 18th, I would coach my kid students at the NAGA Grappling/Jiujitsu tournament!

On Saturday the 19th, I myself would compete in the NAGA!

Wednesday, August 22nd, I will compete in the IBJJF Master Worlds tournament, which is one of THE largest jiujitsu competitions in the world. People fly in from overseas to compete. Specifically, anyone over 30 is eligible. Despite being a vampire and looking like I don’t age, my legal age is 35, so I could register.

Friday the 24th, I’ll fly to Lincoln, Nebraska to support JoJo in her UFC fight, and assist John in her corner. What an honor!

August 30th, I’ll leave for Japan, returning a week later, September 8th. Whooooooo!

I don’t have an MMA fight yet, so I decided to try and do a jiujitsu tournament and Japan trip ASAP. I didn’t expect TWO tournaments to pop up back to back, or go to Nebraska, but they are amazing opportunities.

My Otakon anime convention experience!!!

I had SUCH A FANTASTIC TIME at Otakon! It’s one of the top five largest anime conventions in America! I thought it was the largest, but upon Googling, I found that it’s beaten by Anime Expo and a few other…UNIMPORTANT ONES.

You see, I went to Otakon in high school with my group of friends! Special thing 1: It was my first time in my life having more than one friend at a time, so doing group activities was the best thing ever. Special thing 2: Flying from Massachusetts to Baltimore Maryland was my first time flying by myself. Special thing 3: I made and wore a Chichiri necklace. 4: I felt like I belonged, when anime wasn’t popular. I was shy to admit liking Dragon Ball Z. I was shy to wear my one Dragon Ball Z T shirt. The only place to get posters was in China Town.



This pic is from 2000. I was 17 years old!

The second year we went, I took a road trip with my friends, driven by Mrs. Bailey, which was my first road trip without my parents.

I never went again because I just didn’t have the time nor money.

Then, one lady who followed me as a fan invited me to be a guest and do a demo at Otakon Las Vegas! It’s a smaller convention, and I asked if Serena could help me. It happened and was great, on a small scale. Then she got me invited to THE BIG ONE in Washington DC, which was pretty much what I had gone to, except it outgrew the Baltimore Convention Center it was at years ago!

SO this means 18 years later, I got to be a guest! They flew me and Serena out, and we put on a demo, accepted volunteers to try the moves we taught, and then we sparred hard, all while wearing Vegeta and Goku clothes. WHICH IS THE COOLEST THING. Most people in my gym don’t understand how COOL it is! But everybody at the convention did!

THEY ARE OUR PEOPLE! hahaha Before I was a fighter, I was an Otaku, which means “obsessed with anime.” “Cosplay” means “costume play” and is a Japanese made-up word which has entered our vocabulary.





The demos were a great success!

Before and after our demos and panels, I walked around in my Naruto Kyubi Nine-tails mode costume.



I had people asking to take my picture, just because of my costume, not because I was a fighter. Hah! That was new. A few people did a double take and were like, “Wait…. are you Roxanne Modafferi? IN COSPLAY?!? OMG” hah that was great!

I saw this guy dressed up as Naruto Berserker mode. HE HAD TAILS. And hair. I went up to him and said, “Hi! Can I get a picture with you?”. He looked at me, his eyes opened wide, and he said, “AWWW SH*T!” He was just as happy to get a pic with me! (because of my costume) We just geeked out together and it was fantastic. He was telling me about making his costume and all.

I decided ahead of time that I would go and get as many fangirly pics as I could. This meant running after people. They literally passed me, I looked at Serena, and we literally sprinted up behind them. Haha I chased Obito and Madara, Kuzco, Alex Armstrong, Vash the Stampeed, and the Dino.



We spotted two guys in dino suits randomly battling, and people made room and took pictures. Normal.

Some guy dressed up in a SPiderman suit started attacking a guy in a Vemon suit. Everyone made room and took pictures. Hey, cool! Normal stuff.

My seminar at College Park MMA in Maryland!

College Park MMA owner and all-around awesome fellow Josh Peters brought me out to do a seminar!

Great gym with a great atmosphere, great schedule, great people! I can’t say enough about them. If you’re within driving distance, check it out!

https://www.facebook.com/collegeparkmma/

Only one student came to my kid’s class, so she got special treatment.

She kept getting distracted by Josh’s dog barking by the door. lol Oh well. Kids! It was adorable.

Before that, I got to drill and roll with Josh. He’s a super-skilled black belt. He taught me worm guard.

The week after my fight – BJJ, teaching & pics, MMA awards pics, plans, Jerkypro, SkinnyCow

My week after my fight was pretty great.

I ate a lot and gained three pounds.

My UFC fight in TUF 27 finale against Barb – before, during, and after

I am aware that there are two different layers of voices in my head – my conscious voice and my unconscious voice. I’m good at controlling my conscious voice and making her say positive things, such as, “You’re strong. You’re ready to fight! You have been training hard for so long!” The unconscious voice often whispers things that we can’t always identify, but it makes me feel certain ways. Earlier this week, I realized that I was feeling anxious about my upcoming fight, more than usual. Something felt off and I wasn’t sure what it was. I guessed it was something my dang unconscious was whispering but I couldn’t quite make it out.

Every time I lose a fight, I try and make some kind of change so the same negative results won’t be repeated. “Only the insane repeat the same thing and hope for a different result.” So despite me telling myself positive things…I always tell myself positive things. I realized I was worrying…. I mean, this was BARB Honchak, the person who choked me out seven years ago. I had been wanting to rematch her for SO long! For longer than some people’s MMA careers! It was my DREAM for YEARS, to someday fight in the UFC and, hey, wouldn’t it be SO cool if we fought each other in the UFC? Hahaha that would never happen. Then OMG TUF 26 happened and we were both on it. WHAT IF WE FOUGHT? So now it’s actually happening. whoa…. what if I choked? She could absolutely knock me out, or submit me or ground and pound me out. She’s ripped and so skilled. She was the former Invicta champion.

So that’s what my unconscious voice was whispering to me. Then I started freaking out….I feel good but what if my HEAD isn’t right for this fight? They say the mental game is important. What if I’m not thinking what I’m supposed to think? What if I’m psyched out and then lose because I’m psyched out? Am I psyched out?! I never get psyched out. I started freaking out as to whether I was freaking out or not. hahaha I couldn’t tell because it’s never happened to me before. I’ve never wanted to fight somebody for 7 years before.

So Coach John had a ten minute conversation with me that totally straightened me out. He really is the master. He reminded myself that I had to not only have confidence in myself, but have pride in my efforts. I really have been training non-stop, SO hard, on specific things to improve ever since Dec when I fought Nicco.

It’s funny he said the word “pride” because the first thing I thought of was Vegeta, who always is very proud.



But he is strong because he trains his BUTT off.

John said that having pride in myself is different than being prideful, arrogant, or narcissistic. I have to KNOW that I’m stronger, KNOW that I’ve improved, KNOW that I have the skills, because of all the effort I’ve put into it.

I do SO many other things on top of normal MMA classes. I’m not even going to list them all here.

I’ve done so much. I’m tired every day. I fall asleep at 9 PM every night.

So then I knew. Barb went from this big, looming shadow over me, to a woman, a fellow fighter who had skills comparable to me, who I could beat, but if I’m not careful, could still beat me. I told myself consciously all day long that I could won, but suddenly, two days before my fight, I believed it. I really believed it. I believed it in my heart. I was going to hit her hard, tackle her to the ground, get on top, and ground and pound. I wanted to do it – so much – and I believed I could do it.

John was pretty busy with two other fighters fighting that weekend, Mike Chiesa and Francic Ngannou, but he was always there when I really needed him. It was great of Mike to come with me to get my gear and sign posters during fight week, and also checking up on me.





Casey also. I’m so grateful to have them as trainers. I felt so strong with them behind me.

and Lorenzo!



My Invicta Roxy Posse came! Rob and Sheryl, Candy and Luz, Katie, and Justin! It was great seeing them again!

Fuzzy’s Post-weigh in dinner

I loved running into other TUF 27 contestants. I’ve been watching this season and I liked it a lot.

Luis Pena “Violent Bob Ross”

Brad Katona!!



We spotted each other in the hall and started fan-girl/fan-boying out at the exact same time over each other. hahaha

So….I got permission to wear a “blond wig” at ceremonial weigh ins.

Fight prep for my UFC fight, Motivation, Jurassic World, I’m a Jaegar pilot, misc

I have a phone date with my mother at 3 PM every Saturday.

This weekend I told her I was going to see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom with my bestie Serena.

“OH NO, WON’T YOU BE SCARED!?” she cried. I was startled at her extreme reaction. I mean, it’s not a horror movie…it’s just Jurassic Park, rated PG-13.

Oh Mom. I’m old enough…… I already know when I should close my eyes!

non-Reebok sponsors? details, My parent-child BJJ class, training lately, Food poisoned! My fight!

Yesterday, I did my second parent-child jiujitsu class, and it was fantastic!



I had been forgetting to announce the event after class loudly, so I was afraid people wouldn’t know about it and wouldn’t come, but I think we had even more parents than the last time, plus a few repeats! I’m so happy! It seemed like everybody had fun, and the parents got to hear my whole spiel I give before class about never fighting outside the gym, never fight angry, what to do if you are angry, etc, all the good Jedi/ martial arts stuff I always say.

My Hereos, training, anime, TV shows, friendships

So I HAVE been successfully studying Japanese ten minutes every morning at 7 AM!