Roxanne Modafferi's Blog, page 4

Almost surgery time, other updates

So I’ve been having knee problems for a few years now, on and off. I twisted it really hard trying to kick free of a jiujitsu technique called “grapevine.” My knee cracked REALLY loudly. It’s been aching on and off. It used to be that if I iced it and went easy on it for a while and it kinda stopped hurting as long as I didn’t stress it a certain way.

However, right after my most recent MMA fight in January, after I got back into training, the pain intensified and I restarted physical therapy on it at the PI. The therapists thought it was just scar tissue catching under the knee cap, but physical therapy, massage, and ice wasn’t helping. Then in Feb it cracked again extra loudly and got WORSE. I couldn’t really spar on it. I was biding my time, hoping it would calm down again, but then time came for me to enter my fight camp against Talia and I couldn’t train hard. My knee felt like it was shifting and cracking and was unstable. If I twisted it weird or rotated on it with weight on it, it would move and shift and hurt. I was so stressed out… I’m going to go into Mortal Kombat against a Brazilian killer on this thing? Then recently, it cracked and moved more than I’ve ever felt, and got so bad I couldn’t do anything except walk without pain. That was it. I got an MIR and they found a meniscus tear that had degenerated over time, along with a few other things that made total sense.

I’m scared about surgery and upset I had to pull out of my fight, but I’m actually really happy it’s a diagnosable problem and there’s a “fix.” (I hope.) If they hadn’t found anything and didn’t know how to help me, I don’t know what I would have done! Even if I retired from fighting, I couldn’t do jiujitsu or anything! I could barely jog! Right now, straight movements like walking or squatting are fine, but any twist hurts. It’s gonna be this Friday – April 16th! Soon! Yay! But omg! O_O;

I’ve been teaching kids jiujitsu carefully. Yesterday a kid yelped in pain and I leapt to reach him, and my knee shifted and cracked, so that sucked. ~_~ But usually I can do it.

Yesterday I actually got kind of mad at the kids. One boy said, “I have a headache” so Coach Rick allowed him to sit out. Another kid saw that and said, “I have a little headache… can I sit out?” So he was allowed not to roll. Then a third girl said, “Coach, I have a headacheeeeee” really whiny during free rolling time. I told her to try and just do her best, we only had ten minutes left. I tried really hard to encourage them in a positive manner. She wouldn’t try. Unfortunately, I was depressed on top of that had had a rough morning, so finally, I exclaimed loudly, “Alright, you guys, that’s it. I ALSO have a headache, actually. And my knee is busted so I need surgery. My back hurts, my hip hurts, my neck hurts, my shoulder is sore, and I sprained my wrist. I want you two headache guys fight each other, and I’M gonna fight THIS guy!!!” I gestured to a teenage boy who I was trying to get the girl to roll with but she wouldn’t. (He was like, holy crap) I hung my glasses on the cage and rolled with him, which probably wasn’t wise, but WHATEVER.

It was his first week and he didn’t know much, so I ended up teaching him how to pass guard, so that was helpful. I glanced over a few times and saw the two headache-ees standing in front of each other once, and then the second time I saw them tussling a little. YAY.

So after class finished when we lined up, I made sure to praise the headcahe-ees and give them the thumbs up for trying to fight through their pain, even though I had to twist their arms, and they only did it for a minute. They smiled. (Later, my boyfriend Chris gave me some advice about some good things I could have said.) I knew I was emotional about other things so I tried hard not to take it out on the kids, so I didn’t yell angrily. (I never yell angrily anyway) But I couldn’t think of anything good to say. doh.

I’m so so passionate about the kids that their success is my greatest pleasure, but I’m also really emotional when negative stuff happens. lol

SO yeah. I’m in limbo and it sucks, but at least I don’t have the pressure of knowing I have a fight looming but I can’t train. That happened to me before and it was one of the worst months of my life. I have all the support of my coaches and friends, and I have a wonderful boyfriend / life partner who will be able to take care of me when I’m gimpy. <3 I’m feeling positive about it, even if I’m depressed at the same time. I cry sometimes, but doesn’t everybody?

*sigh* Other things… I watched WandaVision with Chris. What a good series! Also I can’t wait for the next Attack on Titan ep. I’m starting the newest seasons of My Hero Academia, Cells at Work: Code Black, and Promised Neverland.

When I’m gimpy, I’m gonna write more of my second autobiography and play piano. I’ve got plans. OH I have new T shirts! email me if you want one. basilisk875 at yahoo.com

I had a good Easter! Colored Easter Eggs with my inner child, Serena, and Chris!

Taking care of Chris’ dog Gangis! Bath time! He looks like a Sith Lord lol

Darth Gangamous older students who did the throw of the day last week!

Thanks, blog sponsor https://mcithouston.com MCIT offers monthly managed services along with internet, telephone, software, hardware and back up disaster recovery! Call today at 346-352-1612 !

My Submission Underground match and trip to Oregon

I had a great trip to Oregon to compete in Submission Underground. I’m really thrilled I was finally able to face Amanda Loewen. It’s been a match over a year in the making. Now, she holds the Submission Underground belt. It’s an honor for me to be invited to compete!

It was very interesting in that there was no walk out music or crowds. We stood next to each other at the curtain entrance talking about how cold our hands were. LOL We walked to the cage side by side, slipped off our sandals, and I was like, “Uh, after you,” motioning for her to get into the cage first. Bizarre but cool. She was super nice. The ref asked me if my mat was slippery because the staff had just disinfected it. Then he said ready, go.

She jumped guard just as Jessica Eye warned me she would. So I had run into Jessica Eye, who was there to fight Ilima-Lei and she was super nice. So anyway, Amanda threw up some submissions but I avoided them. I struggled to pass her guard, but in the final minute, I finally did and got side control. When trying to take her back, she got guard back. I pretended to go for a wrist lock that I knew wouldn’t work, and then the five minutes was up. We went into overtime where we get put in bad positions and have to escape. She managed to get out of my armbar, but I couldn’t get out of hers, so she won. :/ It was a huge bummer for me. Nicely done by Amanda.

Thank you to my sponsor Xmartial for the fun Yoda shirt! They are good to me! If you like their stuff, you can use my discount code. “Roxannemodafferi15.” http://xmartial.com

I know that in order to risk winning, we have to risk losing. In order to pursue the ecstatic feeling of elation that winning brings, we have to risk the soul-crushing weight of defeat. If I get physically injured, I tell myself, “This is what I signed up for,” meaning the risk, but also I should start telling myself the emotional pain counts as well.

Thank you to Jessica Eye for being a nice human being and saying nice things after my match. lol I won’t forget you.

Overall, I learned a lot in my preparation and became a better fighter. Thanks Guns and Mike Pyle. I continued my leg-lock journey, and avoided any of those. I also tried the new defensive grip Guns taught me. I see it’s merit now. I admired Amanda’s technique. It was an honor being able to face another great competitor in the wonderful sport of grappling and jiujitsu. I also got to meet the man, Chael Sonnen himself for the first time in person! Eeeee fangirl!!!

Chael and me

My boyfriend Chris went with me. He wouldn’t have been able to if it weren’t for my friend and teammate Avery watching Gangis, his dog. She not only came over to walk and feed him, but she slept over and hung out with him – above and beyond the call of duty! I’m going to sleep over for her dog next weekend. THANK YOU, Avery!
It was Chris’ and my first trip together and was wonderful. He insisted on carrying my bag through the airport, although it was totally unnecessary. He told me to let him do his job as a boyfriend. *facepalm* Then he said, “And it’s not because I don’t think you can do it…”

Don’t worry, I’m not a crazy feminist. He also pulled out chairs for me at restaurants. I’m not used to this kind of treatment! Gosh!!

Sub Zero and Kitana

Chris bought Mortal Kombat masks so we can walk around as Sub Zero and Kitana.

Then, Scorpion and Mileena.

Mileena and Scorpion art

I met up with my fighter friend Amanda Bell, who lives in Oregon! Thanks for driving a ways to come hang out! We took a nature walk around Hagg Lake. It was nice! We were staying pretty much in the middle of nowhere so we couldn’t really walk or get public transportation anywhere. Not even any Ubers available! I had to reserve and schedule a Lyft to get to the airport.

I enjoyed the trip! My life is a crazy adventure. Gotta be brave and keep going!

Check out my blog sponsor MCIT Business Solutions. https://mcithouston.com MCIT offers monthly managed services along with internet, telephone, software, hardware and back up disaster recovery! Call today at 346-352-1612 !

Training and new fights, boyfriend, dogs, and anime

It’s really hard for me to get over fight losses. I get really depressed. It’s been great having Chris, though. I’ve never been so in love before. When he holds me in his arms, the problems of the world melt away like an ice cube dropped into a piping hot cup of tea. Being around him is like being in a perpetual summertime. His attention is like the sun peaking over my shoulder, and my heart feels warm and complete.

Suddenly, I understand all the movies. Suddenly, I know all the love songs are correct.

This year was the first time in my life that I’ve had a boyfriend during Valentine’s Day. Yeah, I didn’t date much… I was saving myself for the right person, who I have finally found at 38 years of age. It was just as romantic and wonderful as I had hoped, but I didn’t really have any expectations. In fact, “finding a man” was a major life goal that I suddenly accomplished, and everything else is kind of extra.

He cooked dinner for me…a steak he formed in the shape of a heart. Thank you, oh Boyfriend! <3

I’ve also made an unexpected friend: Gangis Kind, Chris’ dog! We’re both glad he likes me, and I’ve come to really like him.

I love animals but never can commit the time to taking care of one properly, so I only had hamsters and hermit crabs over the years. I could never understand when dog people talked about how their dogs were, but now I get it. When he slipped on my stairs, I nearly had a heart attack because I was worried about his old hips getting hurt, or breaking a leg. Seriously, my heart stopped and I couldn’t breathe. So I spent the last week buying of rugs at Walmart lol. Now my condo is dog-safe and dog proof… I picked stuff up off the floor. Haha I wanna be a good doggie step-mom, so to speak. <3

I slowly got back into training when my body was healed up. Well, I have stuff that’s never going to heal, but I’m doing my best. It’s what I signed up for. I’m taking leg-lock lessons with Guns again, and Chris joined me for some private lessons. I love training together!

Chris and Guns doing leg-locks

I have a fight set in Submission Underground against Amanda Loewen! I’ve been trying to face her for a full year! yay! March 28th, broadcast on UFC Fightpass. You guys can watch it if you make an account! or get the trial!

How cool is this poster?! And is that a belt? Am I fighting for a title? Okay cool lol

I also have another UFC Fight set! Yay cool

I’ve been watching Attack on Titan, the 4th and final series, finally. Man. They go ahead and really delve into the realities and truth of war, and how it’s a cycle. Someone’s gotta break it because after a while, it makes no sense. I wish everyone could see it. It’s a season I can never predict. I never would have foreseen the plot twists! It’s truly incredible and I’m very emotionally involved.

Huge thanks to my blog sponsor MCIT Business Solutions. https://mcithouston.com MCIT offers monthly managed services along with internet, telephone, software, hardware and back up disaster recovery! Call today at 346-352-1612 !

Fight Island 3 – Fight hotel?! Wining and losing every day

Man, it’s too long between my blog posts.

These past few weeks have been hard, but at least I have an exciting, adventurous life that I won’t regret. I think the last time I wrote was Dec 29th.

Christmas and New Years were amazing because I spent them with Chris. We saw Adam Hunter’s comedy show on New Years Day, and it was hilarious. I love Adam.

It’s been so cool to be able to train with Chris. I’ve always wanted a guy I could do jiujitsu with, and he’s perfect because I can’t beat him up but I also don’t get beat up. I like that we are similar in size and can challenge each other in different ways. I taught him a gi choke and he taught me leg lock stuff. It’s everything I always dreamed about! ^_^

He help me drill game-plan moves and prepare for my fight on Saturdays. Fun and business. It’s truly wonderful.

The sale on my condo got finalized and I gradually drove car-loads over little by little, saving my big move for after my fight.

Finally came time for my fight. How was Abu Dhabi? I dunno, I never left the hotel.

I felt super prepared, supported by my coaches, and ready to go. I didn’t really want to go to Abu Dhabi but tried really hard to think positively about it. I tried really hard. REALLY hard to be grateful for this opportunity, excited about fighting, etc.

It sucked just as much as I feared it would. I hope I didn’t put negative energy out into the universe to make it happen that way, but it was ridiculous how much it happened as I hoped it wouldn’t.

I do have to say, the UFC staff tried really hard to make things as smooth and pleasant as possible. Thank you UFC.

The flight over was actually great. It was my first time in business class! I loved that. Upon arrival, the scene was very bizarre. All the hotel staff checking us in were waring hazmat suits. We had to get three covid tests in consecutive days in a row, which I thought was kind of unnecessary. Especially since I have ANTIBODIES…but rules are rules. JoJo came with Coach John for her fight, so I asked Guns if he would room with me so we could do some kind of training. We had to be locked in the actual room for 48 hours in quarantine. They gave us two mats, but it was only enough space to stretch. We couldn’t do any kind of actual training. We drilled jiujitsu a bit and he taught me stuff, which was nice. That was valuable. I jumped rope and did burpees. It really stressed me out how I had arrived 10 days before my fight and had more days to worry about keeping up my cardio. Usually I have my last conditioning session with Lorenzo 7 days out and do upkeep a few days later, but now my schedule is all screwed up. I kept telling myself it was fine. Just do burpees. I also propped open my door and did sprints and jogging in the hallways. Nobody came and stopped me. I learned that one from the Ultimate Fighter. -_- *facepalm*

I also brought my own laundry detergent because the hotel would wash three items every day for free for us. So 1) shirt 2) shorts 3) spandex compression shorts 4) bra 5) panties. Not enough. I did the math.

Finally we were allowed to walk around the hotel, and I felt like I was constantly sitting in restaurants watching all my coaches eat. There was nothing else to do, so everyone sat at the tables and chatted after meals. It sucked. I was stressed about my weight because I was heavier than normal and wasn’t able to move around like I normally do during the day. I kept telling myself it was fine.

The staff kept giving us chocolate. They made this chocolate model! It was really cool! and delicious. I kept taking a few bites out of the cage a day but then got stressed out I would gain weight so gave it to Danny, my manager.

The figures had my and Viviane’s faces!

So when Guns held mitts for me, we kicked aside the mat so we’d have more space to move. I kept stomping my heal to throw a straight, and afterwards my heal hurt SO much. Like, it got injured. I was limping for the next several weeks. It still hurts. I thought the heal pad was thick, but something got hurt. It feels okay when I wear shoes or some kind of padding, or if I’m on the mat, but I can’t walk around on a hard floor anymore. wtf

Anyway. Speaking of Guns, he really really had my back throughout this whole fight camp, during fight week, and also afterwards. Words can’t express my gratitude to him. I always try to tough things out and in the end, we’re in the cage alone, but he lifted me up when I felt uncertain, nervous, or crushed afterwards. I’ll never forget that. Thank you. I wish I could have done more of what you taught me, but I tried my best.

might as well sign the Fight Island 3 wall! Team Syndicate

John helped me prep for this fight really well. He was beside me during my whole camp. I felt great. I made weight alright, thank goodness, and my sleeping schedule got adjusted well. Thank goodness I didn’t have to fight at an odd time in the morning.

The weigh-ins went really well. I liked Viviane. She fist bumped me respectfully after we faced off. I dressed up and I thought I rocked my outfit. I was very pleased. Even Israel “Stylebender” commented on my instagram post, “I like your ninja way.” Hahaaa *fangirl* and Viz Media’s official account also commented. wow.

Hmm she’s taller than I thought. Her stats said she was shorter….I prepared for someone Valerie’s height.

So the fight happened and I was not pleased. Turns out the height difference means reach difference. I had planned on being able to stay just out of reaching using movement, but turns out she was countering EVERYTHING I threw. Everything. Her footwork was better. Dang strikers.

And when I realized this and stopped throwing, she stopped throwing. When I was like, “Well, okay, here I come” she just countered. Really hard. It really sucked. And when I got a hold of her, she slipped out like a slippery fish. She had an excellent game plan and I couldn’t catch her. Round three I knew I was losing and decided to walk through all her punches to try and catch her. I couldn’t. I ate it all. She was always respectful to me, so I can’t be mad.

Just depressed.

Fans and people around me always tells me that it’s fine, just a bad day in the office, I’m a warrior, blah blah. I’m very grateful for fans’ support and message. I would probably be lonely if nobody wrote to me, but lots of people try and convince me that it’s okay. Maybe just say “Thanks for the fight!” I know my job is to entertain the masses. However, I give my heart and soul every day and in the fight. I felt so sharp, so on point, and my best was not good enough to win. It’s devastating spiritually. Maybe not all fighters feel the same way I do. I think everybody is different. I take it really hard. *shrug* I guess that’s me. And you know me, I always write exactly how I feel so you guys know what it’s like, not so anyone feels sorry for me.

Figuratively, yet another spear piercing my heart that will never come out. The bleeding will stop and scars will form, but that pain of a loss of a fight is the worst thing I’ve ever felt and stays with me always. I still feel the pain from my previous losses, and I just try and not think about them. Every fight is different. I try and smile but when I fail to, does that mean I haven’t mastered the art of being a happy warrior? I can’t believe I found a picture online that symbolizes this concept.

Guns had to stay in Fight Hotel and corner JoJo for her fight unexpectedly, so I had to travel home by myself, which was one of the things I was worried about which came true. My right eye was swollen shut. I kept bumping into things. Well, at least I had one good eye, and at least I didn’t have anything broken. I mustn’t be a baby. A fellow female fighter got KO-ed AND broke her arm. That would have sucked. I wish her a speedy recovery from that. At least I could lug my three heavy suitcases even though it wasn’t pleasant. At least I didn’t have a concussion.

I had to get stitches over my right eye. It was the first time in my 48-fight career I needed stitches after a fight. I guess that’s a nice record. It was torture, though. Right after the fight, I know the emotions take like ten minutes to set in, so I wanted to hurry back to the locker room. But no. I had to get checked out by the doctor. He felt up my face and thankfully nothing was broken. But they made me lay down on a cold table and wait…why? Wait. WHY?!? For the doc to stitch me. Okay, cool. Waiting. Waiting. waiting. WTF WHERE IS HE it’s been like THIRTY MINUTES. So I lay there crying, wanting to scream for like an hour. It was terrible. but at least I got free treatment and they did a good job of stitching my eyelid. At least they were nice to me. But I wanted to go somewhere in a corner so my cornermen wouldn’t see me have a f*cking embarrassing emotional breakdown. They have feelings, too, and are probably sad I lost. I don’t want to make it worse on them, but no. Finally the doctor came and gave me stitches, which was embarrassing because I couldn’t stop crying the entire time. fml

Anyway. Nothing’s broken. The world hadn’t exploded. My opponent was a good person. I didn’t get knocked out or finished. I got paid. My coaches said they were proud of me and have a boyfriend who loves me. Said boyfriend picked me up at the airport and lent me his glasses because I looked monstrous. I mean, he said I didn’t, but I wanted them.

Lorenzo once said, “Having someone in your life is more important than winning or losing a fight. You’ll see. Having someone to come home to is major.”

I see. Being with Chris turns the volume down on all the problems in my life. I look at him and smile. Neither of us have to say anything. He is the perfect drug.

Life continued and he took care of me. My eye finally opened up again, and I proceeded to set up my move. Thank you Jeslen, Erica, the Bakhshi crew (Serena, Brandon, Billie), Lorenzo, Kris, Sasha, and Josh for helping me move my stuff!!

Chris’ friend Gilbert dropped by suddenly so I’ve been enjoying hanging out with them for a week.

My face still hurts a lot so I haven’t been training. Actually this week was the first time I did a little jiujitsu. I haven’t really felt like it. I got kneed in the sternum before my fight and it still hurts.

We went out for Mexican and Yaki Niku!

Also the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay!

Gil sniped some pics of us. <3 It’s been cool getting to meet Chris’ friends. I’ve introduced him to a bunch of mine.

I finally feel moved in. I unpacked a lot of boxes. It’s Thursday and weird to not be sparring. Thursday is my favorite day.

Here’s what I got so far! Today, I unpacked, watched some Attack on Titan, did chores, and now I’m trying to answer the 100 unanswered emails that I’ve let go for a month. I get to teach kids BJJ. I’m still really down, but life is good. I’ll probably be able to train next week, which is more than a lot of people can say. I’m very grateful for everything I have. Still so happy to be in the UFC, and I’m going to train to become stronger so I can win my next fight. A saiyan always gets stronger after a defeat. Goku, Naruto, and Luffy don’t win every battle.

Thank you to everyone who follows my journey and supports me. You know I never really hide anything about me or my feelings, for better or for worse! So sorry if I can’t always be the Happy Warrior. I’m not perfect but I always try my best.

Kids BJJ coach and my mentor Rick Davis said to me, “We win and we lose every day. You know that!” Interesting and true! We keep fighting.

Another thing. Armin said it to Eren in Attack on Titan. “I’m not losing. Because I don’t run away.”

Huge thanks to my blog sponsor My Consumer I.T. https://www.mcithouston.com/ They offer remote network support, online services, computer set up, backup and recovery, and more.

Eventful months…part 2!! Love, fighting, friends

So remember how in my last blog (linkie) I wrote about how my dad said, “Go buy a property, and go find a man so you won’t be lonely in your old age?” and I replied, “Geez, fine, I’ll try”?

I closed on my new condo last week! It was a short but long-feeling process where the loan company asked me for all my personal information several times over, but in the end, they were good to me, efficient, and gave me a nice 30-year loan at a fantastic fixed interest rate! I know all this terminology and what’s best or not thanks to my wonderful father. We’ve had many conversations on the phone where he imparted his knowledge and experience to me. THANK YOU. Much appreciated! I’m so fortunate to have a smart father who loves me. You’re the best, Dad!

The first thing I moved in was my Fusion Fight League champion belt! I didn’t really feel huge emotion or happiness at first because I’m kinda only doing it because my dad told me to. ^^; But then every day when I go home to my tiny little apartment I’m currently renting, I think…. DANG this is tiny. I have room for nothing. My clothes are shoved into plastic drawers stacked to the ceiling in my bedroom… anyway, I’m excited to buy a second sofa, a nicer bed, wooden dresser instead of plastic, a rug, and have people over for more comfortable UFC viewing parties! I’m going to completely move in after my fight because moving is stressful.

About the other thing…I started using the dating app Bumble….. and I think I found my true love. At exactly the same time I found the condo. I just haven’t posted anything online until now. Chris is amazing. Nerdy, jiujitsu-based intelligent fighter who treats me well. I literally could not ask for better. I’ve been waiting my entire adult life to meet him.

Here’s at the Syndicate team Christmas party with him and Serena.

my beloved people

Did you notice we are MATCHING SWEATERS?!?! ahem.

I decided not to visit my family for Christmas – the second time in my entire life I didn’t see my dad on Christmas day. (The first time was for a fight). It was very strange, but that’s why I visited earlier (which I didn’t write about online because secrecyyyyyyy), because I figured the situation would become worse and it’d be best not to travel. So glad I made that decision. And I got to hang out with Chris a lot! It was a wonderful alternative. He taught me how to paint!

Also, I kind of knew how to play shogi, Japanese chess, and he loves chess, so we’ve been practicing. He got me a legit, beautiful wooden shogi board imported from Japan! The pieces make a nice clacking sound when placed or moved. I love it! We’re so cool, playing board games in a foreign language. I can read the pieces but he can’t! Well, not at first!

shogi

Training had been fantastic, aside from being plagued by little nagging injuries. I’m primarily okay, getting better and better, adding to my skillset and improving my techniques! Chris had been helping me train a lot on weekends. It’s fantastic!

We have such a great group of female fighters from all weight classes with all experience levels. Valerie and JoJo are perfect partners for me in this fight camp against Viviane. It’s nice to have Melissa visiting! Emily is awesome. Serena is always my fav drilling partner.

Syndi-chicks

Shoutout to my sponsor Nogi BJJ Gear for the “Strangle Things” rash guard and the many other interesting ones I have! I think they’re changing their name to Xmartial next year, but for now, check out https://www.nogibjjgear.com/ if you like. Use coupon code “roxannemodafferi15” to get a discount!

Guns has been my grappling sensei for this camp. Here he is…he never smiles because he’s TOO BAD-@$$ to smile! Apparently lol

Guns

I’ve leveled up so much because of him. He’s also my leg-lock sensei, and I survived for 9 minutes against the best female leg-locker in the sport mostly because of him.

Super great training with John lately on the mitts. I’m really liking the gameplan and stuff we’re doing!

Also, my physical trainer Lorenzo has been in my corner ten billion percent! He’s been getting me ready for my fight with his workouts, gives me life advice, came and looked at my condo with me so I could get parental judgement before I decided to buy it, and I also introduced Chris to him. Haha yeah. Lorenzo is important in my life.

My life has been CRAZY busy with all this.

Also my friends Rob and Katie came to visit for a jiujitsu event thingie, and also just for a visit.

Katie and I

Um, my rash guard is NoGiBJj Gear btw. Katie has a Mandalorian rash guard on. We’re so cool! Yes, I have finished season 2 of The Mandalorian and OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGgggg yes.

Guys, Serena is fighting Jan 9th in Knoxville, TN in Valor Fighting …Challenge?

Check her out and please support her! I think she’s selling shirts. I’m actually disappointed that I can’t go because of my own fight. But she’s gonna kick butt! Or elbow this girl’s face off. Whooo

Eventful months…part 2!!

So remember how in my last blog (linkie) I wrote about how my dad said, “Go buy a property, and go find a man so you won’t be lonely in your old age?” and I replied, “Geez, fine, I’ll try”?

I closed on my new condo last week! It was a short but long-feeling process where the loan company asked me for all my personal information several times over, but in the end, they were good to me, efficient, and gave me a nice 30-year loan at a fantastic fixed interest rate! I know all this terminology and what’s best or not thanks to my wonderful father. We’ve had many conversations on the phone where he imparted his knowledge and experience to me. THANK YOU. Much appreciated! I’m so fortunate to have a smart father who loves me. You’re the best, Dad!

The first thing I moved in was my Fusion Fight League champion belt! I didn’t really feel huge emotion or happiness at first because I’m kinda only doing it because my dad told me to. ^^; But then every day when I go home to my tiny little apartment I’m currently renting, I think…. DANG this is tiny. I have room for nothing. My clothes are shoved into plastic drawers stacked to the ceiling in my bedroom… anyway, I’m excited to buy a second sofa, a nicer bed, wooden dresser instead of plastic, a rug, and have people over for more comfortable UFC viewing parties! I’m going to completely move in after my fight because moving is stressful.

About the other thing…I started using the dating app Bumble….. and I think I found my true love. At exactly the same time I found the condo. I just haven’t posted anything online until now. Chris is amazing. Nerdy, jiujitsu based intelligent fighter. I literally could not ask for better. I’ve been waiting my entire adult life to meet him.

Here’s at the Syndicate team Christmas party with him and Serena.

my beloved people

I’m glad we could do something amidst the pandemic. Everyone at the party is always in close proximity every day, plus over half of us have had Covid anyway.

I decided not to visit my family for Christmas – the second time in my entire life I didn’t see my dad on Christmas day. (The first time was for a fight). It was very strange, but that’s why I visited for Thanksgiving, because I figured the situation would become worse and it’d be best not to travel. So glad I made that decision. And I got to hang out with Chris a lot! It was a wonderful alternative. He taught me how to paint!

Also, I kind of knew how to play shogi, Japanese chess, and he loves chess, so we’ve been practicing. He got me a legit, beautiful wooden shogi board imported from Japan! The pieces make a nice clacking sound when placed or moved. I love it! We’re so cool, playing board games in a foreign language. I can read the pieces but he can’t! Well, not at first!

shogi

Training had been fantastic, aside from being plagued by little nagging injuries. I’m primarily okay, getting better and better, adding to my skillset and improving my techniques! We have such a great group of female fighters from all weight classes with all experience levels. Valerie and JoJo are perfect partners for me in this fight camp against Viviane. It’s nice to have Melissa visiting! Emily is awesome. Serena is always my fav drilling partner.

Syndi-chicks

Shoutout to my sponsor Nogi BJJ Gear for the “Strangle Things” rash guard and the many other interesting ones I have! I think they’re changing their name to Xmartial next year, but for now, check out https://www.nogibjjgear.com/ if you like. Use coupon code “roxannemodafferi15” to get a discount!

Guns has been my grappling sensei for this camp. Here it is…he never smiles because he’s TOO BAD-@$$ to smile! lol

Guns

I’ve leveled up so much because of him. He’s also my leg-lock sensei, and I survived for 9 minutes against the best female leg-locker in the sport mostly because of him.

Super great training with John lately on the mitts. I’m really liking the gameplan and stuff we’re doing!

Also, my physical trainer Lorenzo has been in my corner ten billion percent! He’s been getting me ready for my fight with his workouts, gives me life advice, came and looked at my condo with me so I could get parental judgement before I decided to buy it, and I also introduced Chris to him. Haha yeah. Lorenzo is important in my life.

My life has been CRAZY busy with all this.

Also my friends Rob and Katie came to visit for a jiujitsu event thingie, and also just for a visit.

Katie and I

Um, my rash guard is NoGiBJj Gear btw. Katie has a Mandalorian rash guard on. We’re so cool!

Guys, Serena is fighting Jan 9th in Knoxville, TN in Valor Fighting …Challenge?

Check her out and please support her! I think she’s selling shirts. I’m actually disappointed that I can’t go because of my own fight. But she’s gonna kick butt! Or elbow this girl’s face off. Whooo

Eventful month! Condo, Halloween, training, etc

I’ve had a very eventful month!! My dad recently has been telling me, “Go buy a property. Also, go meet a man so you won’t be lonely in your old age.” Alright FINE! I’ll try, Dad. -_-;

Geez, easier said than done, right? Not really. Dad is right more often than not. My father taught me how to break big problems down into steps so they aren’t overwhelming. I didn’t really want to search for a new place, and I haven’t dated in literally ten years. So one day when I was sitting home feeling injured, I summoned up my courage, made a Bumble account, and contacted a realtor.

I kept repeating to myself, “I’m a Modafferi. We get stuff done.”

I’m not really sure where I’ll be living in the next five years…well, next ten. Five will probably be Vegas. I really love Vegas and want to stay here, but who knows? When I mentioned this to Lorenzo, my trainer and life mentor, he recommended his friend to me who is a realtor. I kind of hesitantly began searching for condos. I really like where I’m living! I drove by this apartment complex every day for seven years, wanting to live here, and finally I made enough money I could get a little place by myself! But it’s little. Very little. My bedroom is starting to embarrass me because it looks like 1) a college dorm room 2) my room in Japan where plastic containers are stacked to the ceiling because I have no storage space otherwise.

So I started warming up to the idea of moving after all into a two bedroom place. I saw a few places and thank goodness I have the realtor because I didn’t really know the clues and key points. Mike Di Sabatino, the realtor who’s helping me, said things like, “Oh this place is old and not a great layout.” “These floors squeak and will have to be replaced. That’ll cost XXX thousands of dollars.” “This is on the main street and will be noisy.” “You can get way more space for this price somewhere else.” Thanks for looking out for me!

So two weeks ago I wanted to see this room near where I USED to live, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to move BACK, slightly farther away from Syndicate. It’s still within 10 minutes of the gym, though. Mike said, “This place is still occupied but this newly renovated place just went on the market. Let’s check it out.” We did and I liked it. He loved it. He said it was the best option we’ve come across for me so far. I feel like for such a major decision I wanted to see more options and think about it more, but apparently other people had viewed it after me and he encouraged me to put an offer on it if I liked it. So I asked Lorenzo to view it with me. Lorenzo gave it the thumbs up. (THANK YOU SO MUCH). So I did, and the owners accepted it the next day! Holy crap! In two days I just bought a condo! Aaaah!

So then Dad got on the phone for hours and educated me on how things work with loans, interest rates, fixed mortgages, fees, points, accrual, property tax, etc. Wow, I’m so fortunate to have a smart father who can teach me stuff like this. I frigg’n wrote it all down and then was able to have intelligent conversations with the loan officer and realtor. Yaay. So I’m moving in Dec 14th?! Holy moly. I cannot wait to get: a full sized bed, wooden bureaus for my clothes, a filing cabinet, a second sofa, an area rug, curtains, new blanket, etc.

My spectacular rainbow unicorn grappling match

I got a fight offer to grapple a “Danielle Kelly” in Submission Hunter Pro Oct 25th. Great! I get paid to do jiujitsu! Yes, absolutely.

I told Guns this, one of Syndicate’s assistant coaches who’s been helping me out lately. “I’ll look her up,” he said. The next day, he came in and said, “She’s really good at leg locks.” Oh boy, I thought, I’m NOT really good at leg locks. Actually, I hate leg locks and purposely have been putting off getting good at them because they are super dangerous and I don’t want to accidentally hurt my teammates practicing them. One wrong twist and somebody’s knee gets blown out.

“Actually,” Guns went on, “I’m the best at leg locks in the gym.”

I stared at him. He wasn’t boasting. Just said it, matter-of-factly, and I 100% believed him. “Well, then, teach me the way!” I said, and promptly scheduled private lessons with him. Dude. Okay, so when somebody goes for a leg-lock on you, you have to either 1) peel the feet apart and off your hip 2) defeat their knee pinch 3) triangle your legs 4) roll out 5) grab their hands or neck 6) stand up and put weight on the foot, and sometimes you have to do several of them at the same time. There is always a right or wrong answer depending on how they grab and what part of you they grab and their body position. If you do the wrong thing, you are 95% dead and better tap out or you gamble your MMA career or walking ability.

Guns’s first leg lock defense lesson kinda blew my mind a little, but I kept at it and tried not to cry. lol

Then, I recalled my jiujitsu friend and former teammate Casey was also good at leg locks, so I scheduled weekly privates with him, TOO. In addition to leg-locks, Casey said things like, “She’s gonna invert, so to deal with that, you have to push her feet and dive north south head first into her stomach to keep her from sitting up.” Also, “If she sits up, you can push her over and try to knee cut to pass her guard. Guns said, “Let’s go over taking, maintaining, and choking from the back.”

Both of those guys sharpened my game overall tremendously. Despite finally getting caught with a toe-hold, I got out of numerous leg-lock attempts. In fact, she ONLY went for leg locks. If I hadn’t done those private lessons, she would have tapped me within the first minute. I felt I did great and was winning the match…until I wasn’t. haha She was really good, the best at my worst, and I knew it going in and I relished the challenge. I did everything they taught me! I did the north-south dive. I almost took her back the way Casey taught me. I did Casey’s single-leg-x escape. I did Gun’s peel the foot escape. I lost because I rolled when I should have figure-foured, and I wasn’t saavy enough to know a back-up 5% chance escape. Kudos to Danielle. She’s very skilled. I’m proud of my efforts, and it was really cool to headline an event that was broadcast on UFC Fight pass. In fact, an ad for the event was written across the UFC broadcast!

I am NOT excited to continue my journey into leg-locks, but most black belts go for leg-locks in competition. This was my first competition AS a black belt. It’s also hard to find training partners. I don’t want just anybody grabbing at my legs. I need someone to attack me but not break my stuff if they do it wrong. It’s it’s an advanced move. To my surprise, I found that JoJo, one of my main MMA training partners, is good at leg-locks, as well as Jordan The Monkey King, and my Dunham’s friend Charlie is stylistically sport-jiujitsu-y like her. Thanks especially to those three for the training. It hurt me not to have Dunham’s, though. There are a lot of big guys at Syndicate and I really didn’t have small technical people to roll with other than Jerry and those two I mentioned. Oh Valerie! Val was a life-saver! She probably challenges me the most jiujitsu-wise in the gym. I was also dealing with a lot of injuries. In fact, I’m glad that I was able to compete at all. I got through it was a great performance, and nothing really bothered me in the match. Phew. Man, just barely healed my stuff up in time. But I signed up for the fighterlife so no good complaining. Just gotta deal!

It’s so funny I was hoping to use this month after my MMA fight to heal up and I got like several injuries that I barely got through in training. ~_~; Again, fighter life.

My trip to Texas was fantastic! I was so excited to see Candy and Katie again, also my sponsor Bill and Mandy from My Consumer I.T. For those of you who pay attention, you will remember THEY SPONSOR THIS BLOG! Mwahaha thanks so much for that, and for treating me to dinner, cheering for me at the event, and being all around awesome people!

Bill



There’s a FUZZY’S in Houston!!

walk in the park before my match

I wore my No Gi Bjj Gear Yoda rash guard and Meerkatsu tights. I have a discount code on http://nogibjjgear.com if you use “roxannemodafferi15”

I had to cut weight to make 130 pounds. She’s way smaller than me! I wore a crazy unicorn mane and wig because I’ve been smack talking her about unicorns. lol I looked ridiculous….but you expect that from me. Come on.

Florida – friends, fight, family

I went to Florida for the first time last week! I’ve always wanted to go but never had the occasion.

I flew myself there to help support my best friend Serena in her fight in Titan FC. They only allowed one cornerman so I wasn’t allowed to be in her corner, but I yelled from the side of the cage and nobody came to shut me up, so that was cool.

I enjoyed seeing Miami. I rented a car and ended up driving all over the city looking for the post-weight cut restaurant. lol Hey at least I got to see the city. It was so humid! And it rained intermittently! I heard these things but it was fun to experience them. Also, there are palm trees everywhere. Hah DUH, right? But Nevada is to cacti as Florida is to palm trees. I REALLY enjoyed being around more nature. I saw so many cool plants and trees and winding roots sticking up out of the ground!

a cool tree *_*

My birthday was September 24th. I helped Serena cut weight and took care of fight stuff. Her mom surprised me by bringing out a chocolate cake at the Pho restaurant! THANK YOU! That really made me feel nice. I was stressed and not feeling very birthday cheery, but that was super nice and reminded me that I have people who love me and appreciate me.

I won my fight! Thoughts

I’m thrilled and relieved that I won my fight. Relief is always my first emotion lately, then elation, then satisfaction, then pride in myself, my growth, and efforts. Next, I feel gratitude, for my coaches, friends, fans, and UFC people (Mick, Dana, etc) for giving me the opportunity to fight in such a great organization.

I haven’t really written a lot of blogs lately. That’s because I was so depressed and heartbroken after my last fight. My blogs just came out sounding blue. I dunno if anybody else thought so, but I did. My UFC.com interview made it sound like I was depressed. Hah. -_-; Well. I didn’t even want to train for a while. Luckily, I don’t need motivation because I have discipline. Smile and carry on! Or don’t smile and carry on. ^^;

Well, I overcame a lot, pulled it together in my life and in the gym, had a decent camp, and came out with the win. I trained through a bunch of injuries which was really hard mentally, not to mention physically, but ended up feeling really good in the end. I went into the fight with no pain! Thank you, self, for all your hard work. Doing thought replacement and trying to be positive all the time takes a lot of mental energy, so good job, me. Thanks, body, for sucking it up, and also my trainer Lorenzo, therapists Tera, Heather, and Teri.

Andrea is so good – skilled and strong. Man, when they first offered her to me, I thought, “Just great, I barely managed to win the first time, and now she’s improved!” But as a martial artist, I embrace challenges. I’m not afraid. Bring it on.

It felt great to be out of the lock-down and train again with Coach John. Come to think of it, he’s been coaching me the longest out of everybody in my career! From my first schools in Massachusetts, to Japan, to Vegas, seven years with Coach John has been the longest. He cornered me from TUF 18, through Invicta, back into the UFC! September 13th is the anniversary of me joining Syndicate.

Hitting with John

I also resumed training with my mentor and friend Mike Pyle on a weekly basis.

John and Mike

Shout out to Jawknee, Guns, and Jordan the Monkey King for helping me prepare.

Emily, Jordan, Valerie

I sharpened the ax and learned a lot of new, helpful things. Thanks, Emily Whitmire, for helping me with all those private wrestling lessons. They really paid off! Also Valerie, who was always there for me in shark tanks and challenging me in jiujitsu ways. You guys were invaluable to me. I also used techniques AJ and Neil had shown me.

Jordan and Guns







LAS VEGAS, NEVADA – SEPTEMBER 12: (R-L) Roxanne Modafferi punches Andrea Lee in a flyweight fight during the UFC Fight Night event at UFC APEX on September 12, 2020 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Jeff Bottari/Zuffa LLC)

Things are better now. This win certainly helped. It was nice to have a really tough fight and pull through.

I wore Luffy’s straw hat for weigh-ins! I got jean shorts, a see-through mask, and a red Reebok Hoodie I was gonna wear and take off, but they wouldn’t let me wear them! They said 1) the jean shorts weren’t Reebok (please, there was no brand name showing!) 2) the hoodie was two years old (COME ON, it’s REEBOK, who cares how old?? I got it FROM the UFC) 3) the mask had to be white or black. wtf It was black around the edges. VERY DISAPPOINTING, REEBOK. Come on.

Well, I think people recognized me anyway! Like five fighters gave me fist bumps and fans got it, so I’m pleased.