GLEN NESBITT > Quotes

“Summer, when apple blossoms bloom, roses rise, lilacs lie, dandelions are dandy, and daisies are doozies, a time when flies fly, bugs bug, bees be, swallows swallow, and ducks duck.”
― GLEN NESBITT, SUS: Short Unpredictable Stories

“This is no ordinary flashback; it's a surreal journey into the past with my entire body involved. It is a fleshback.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“They won’t want to put themselves in my shoes because they have Chuck Taylors and Stan Smiths while I have Sams Clubs.”
― GLEN NESBITT, SUS: Short Unpredictable Stories

“Her last name escapes me, but that does not keep me from wondering if she will change it when we marry.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“On accident, I stuff a pill bug into his mouth.
To this day, he refuses to eat food with raisins.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“Ruby pointed towards the descending object. “The landing lights are very shiny.” Claude’s voice, trembling with anxiety, added, “I hope their probes are very tiny.”
― GLEN NESBITT

“Way up high above the stars; this close encounter’s rather far.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Joe the Alien

“[My Halloween costume] was so that people opened their doors and took candy from me.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“I am no religious scholar, but there is no mention of Dr. Slinks in the holy texts.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“The room is a hundred shades of white. The enormous desk is the color of sand dollar beer foam with a plush cotton eggshell chair behind it. To its side, a tall shaving cream topped Swiss coffee lamp with a mozzarella sour cream lampshade. Official certificates the color of chalky whitecaps in limestone glacier
frames hang on the frosted beluga whale wall. The wall is covered with rice powder cloud bookcases, full of books the color of moonstone jasmine, opal daffodil, quartz daisy, and polar bear hibiscus. The books are being tended by a man with his back to me, dressed in a milky, baking soda suit in seagull bone shoes, riding a rolling ladder the color of marshmallow tofu glue.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“Here, books are just silverfish food.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“I'm not great at solving puzzles or riddles. Especially those riddles where you have to ride boats back and forth with foxes, geese, and sacks of grain. The fox would eat everything and I would starve.”
― Glen Nesbitt, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“The surrounding forest was a wall of darkness, the trees standing tall and silent, smelling like a high-quality cardboard air-freshener.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Joe the Alien

“Donuts and churros, snow cones and Twinkies, deep-fried bananas and slobbered-on binkies, funnel cake, ice cream, and hot onion rings…”
― GLEN NESBITT, SUS: Short Unpredictable Stories

“A man without a heart‬ is like a bean without a fart.‬
‭”
― GLEN NESBITT, We're Off

“Mom, can I have a pig?" Avery asked, hopeful.
"No," Mrs. Arable replied firmly.
"Can I have a chicken?" he tried again.
"No."
"Can I have a goose?"
"No."
"Can I have a duck?"
"No."
"Can I get my tongue pierced and dye my hair pink?" Avery asked, trying his luck one last time.
"You can have a duck," Mrs. Arable said with a sigh.”
― GLEN NESBITT, SUS: Short Unpredictable Stories

“At age forty, he had more employee name tags than girlfriends, and he just started liking mushrooms and zucchini. If they’re fried, and covered in ranch, that is.”
― GLEN NESBITT

“There’s always room for Jello,” my mom laughs. “Yeah, in the trash can.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“‬"Which‬‭ one‬‭ of‬‭ you‬‭ first?"‬‭ the‬‭ Lion‬‭ challenged.‬ "I'll‬‭ fight‬‭ you.‬‭ Both‬‭ together‬‭ if‬‭ you‬‭ want.‬‭ I'll‬‭ fight‬‭ you‬‭ on‬ one..." He paused dramatically, raising a paw, "foot."‬ Dorothy frowned. "Why the long pause?"‬ The‬‭ Lion‬‭ glanced‬‭ at‬‭ his‬‭ paws.‬‭ "I‬‭ don’t‬‭ know—I‬ was‬‭ born‬‭ with‬‭ them!"‬”
― GLEN NESBITT, We're Off

“I’m living an “a-ticket” dream. That’s the ticket you would need back then for something lame, like riding the trolley, walking through the staircases of Sleeping Beauty’s castle, or sitting in the theater to watch an Abraham Lincoln robot put you to sleep. Four snores and seven years ago.”
― GLEN NESBITT, SUS: Short Unpredictable Stories

“Claude, genuinely touched, placed a hand over his heart. "It's what's inside of you that counts. Wow. What a very special alien invasion.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Joe the Alien

“I tried talking to her, but after a year of German, she only knows I have a big, red pencil and I would like more potato salad please.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“I am half-Mexican and half-Chinese. Major used to joke that I believe in reincarnitas.”
― GLEN NESBITT

“He’s just tryin’ to find his perfect niche; he’s not as cute as E.T., but he’s taller than Stitch.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Joe the Alien

“Nine-year-old me dressed as a homeless person, but I had a badge, fake mustache, and aviators. I was HoboCop, naturally.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“Ruby, growing impatient, shouted, "Sneeze! Sneeze!" Rip stammered, "I’m trying, I’m trying.
I have the Ah, but I don't have the Choo.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Joe the Alien

“HENRY: Tornado‬ season begins today, October‬
‭5th.‬
EM‬: ‭ Golly. It just ended October 1st.”
― Glen Nesbitt, We're Off

“‭Instead of being cowardly,‬ I wish I was Jack Bauer-ly.‬
‭”
― GLEN NESBITT, We're Off

“The antennae on his head look weird, I agree...but now I get Hulu and Netflix for free.”
― GLEN NESBITT

“I prefer the wit of Shakespeare or Mark Twain. But, truth be told, to get a laugh, a cheap laugh, all you have to do is..." Rip interrupted with another well-timed fart.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Joe the Alien