Do Hard Things Quotes

“This phenomenon is quite common in all types of high performers. The entrepreneur whose insecurity leads him to incessant “grinding,” the CEO who can’t step away on weekends for fear of falling behind, or the creative who puts off publishing their work until it is just right.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Hard-nosed. Gritty. Playing through pain. Stoic. Exhibiting emotional fortitude. Showing no signs of distress. Persevering. When college students were asked to describe what it meant to be tough, these words and phrases came to mind.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Whether discomfort comes in the form of anxiety, fear, pain, uncertainty, or fatigue, navigating through it is what toughness is all about. Not bulldozing or pushing through, but navigating. Sometimes that means going through, around, under, or waiting until it passes. When we frame toughness as a decision to act under discomfort, it allows us to see that toughness is far more than merely having grit or grinding through. We can actively change how we appraise, experience, and respond to discomfort. Each step along the way requires a different skill set and approach. It requires many tools, not just a hammer.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“machismo. The mentality to never show weakness, grind it out, play through the pain. Our vocabulary is telling. We tell our sons and daughters to “man up” or, in much cruder terms that are heard on playing fields across the country, “stop being a pussy.” Or as the famous line from the movie A League of Their Own summarized expectations in sport, “There’s no crying in baseball!” Masculinity is so ingrained in our concept of toughness that if you ask a sampling of individuals about”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Maslow wrote, “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Feelings are subject to distortion. They depend on context and interpretation. The better we’re able to interpret, the better our ultimate decision.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“When emotional intensity gets too high, we default toward the easiest path: distraction. It’s a low-cost solution that allows us to manage something in the short term.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Tough people are self-aware, and they get there by embracing reality and understanding who they are.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“The best performers tend to have a flexible and adaptive coping ability. They can bounce between different strategies, depending on the demands of the situation.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“To develop true, inner confidence, there are four steps: Lower the bar. Raise the floor. Shed perfection. Embrace who you are. Trust your training. Trust yourself. Develop a quiet ego.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Lasting self-esteem doesn’t come from being told that we are great. It comes from doing the actual work and making real connections.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“We often mask our insecurities with perfectionism and extreme levels of work.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“As podcaster Rich Roll told me in summarizing the hundreds of interviews he’s conducted, “Everybody goes through shit in their life. Nobody escapes obstacles.” If we’re going to face obstacles, we might as well figure out the best way to navigate them.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“true, inner confidence, there are four steps: Lower the bar. Raise the floor. Shed perfection. Embrace who you are. Trust your training. Trust yourself. Develop a quiet ego.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Research consistently shows that tougher individuals are able to perceive stressful situations as challenges instead of threats. A challenge is something that’s difficult, but manageable. On the other hand, a threat is something we’re just trying to survive, to get through. This difference in appraisals isn’t because of an unshakable confidence or because tougher individuals downplay the difficulty. Rather, those who can see situations as a challenge developed the ability to quickly and accurately assess the situation and their ability to cope with it. An honest appraisal is all about giving your mind better data to predict with.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Toughness is navigating the inner turmoil in order to make a good decision. Sometimes that’s to persist. Other times it’s to quit.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Our level of control changes how we respond to stress. When we have a sense of control, our alarm is quieter and easier to shut off.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Our ability to be “tough” and handle adversity starts well before we even encounter any difficulty. It starts with embracing the reality of the situation and what you’re capable of.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“At one time, we were all the child who moved from annoyance to despair, as we struggled to regulate our inner turmoil. Our journey toward real toughness is much the same. We start with only one solution: grind it out, ignore much of what’s going on inside. It may help us get through minor difficulties, but eventually it fails. We have to adopt a way to navigate the complex feelings, emotions, and thoughts that swirl whenever we are faced with a challenge. Over time, we gain the ability to pay attention to our inner world, navigate the experience without freaking out, and ultimately make better decisions.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Confidence is a filter, tinting how we see the challenges before us and our ability to handle them.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Real toughness is about providing the tool set to handle adversity. It’s teaching. Fake toughness creates fragility, responding out of fear, suppressing what we feel, and attempting to press onward no matter the situation or demands. Real toughness”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Toughness is about embracing the reality of where we are and what we have to do. Not deluding ourselves, filling ourselves with a false confidence, or living in denial. All of that simply sends us sprinting off the line, only to slow to a walk once reality hits. Being tough begins long before we enter the arena or walk on stage. It starts with our expectations.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Using second or third person creates distance between the experience and our emotional response. This linguistic trick allows us to zoom out. When we can create space and broaden our worldview, we slow the path from emotional reaction to inner battle to action. By creating space with a simple change in our vocabulary, we regain control instead of defaulting toward the easy decision.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“As Fernyhough argues, “Voices and negative rumination might be unpleasant, but at least they can be engaged with. In which case, the dominance of inner speech might ultimately reflect its evolved role in making the organism resilient to stress.” Voices allow us to do something about what we feel. To actively engage and negotiate.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Toughness is about embracing the reality of where we are and what we have to do. Not deluding ourselves, filling ourselves with a false confidence, or living in denial. All of that simply sends us sprinting off the line, only to slow to a walk once reality hits. Being tough begins long before we enter the arena or walk on stage. It starts with our expectations”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“When we explore instead of avoid, we are able to integrate the experience into our story. We’re able to make meaning out of struggle, out of suffering. Meaning is the glue that holds our mind together, allowing us to both respond and recover.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“When we spend time together with those we love and respect, good things follow. It’s a virtuous cycle. The way to create a sense of belonging isn’t some corporate retreat or a forced and artificial team bonding activity; it’s in creating space for genuine, real connection.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Coyle makes the case that contrary to the way we traditionally think about it, we don’t need trust before we can become vulnerable. The opposite is true. In order to trust, we first must be vulnerable. Being open and vulnerable sends an invitation to the person sitting across from you that you trust them. If that signal is reciprocated, that trust between the pair increases. We lower our defenses and guard, feeling open to being who we are.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“Like the fist-bump research, the magic isn’t in the activity itself. The lesson isn’t to have team dinners but to create a place for bonding and trust to develop. Popovich utilizes his power of conversation and passion for food and wine to create an environment where people want to be. He”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

“As the researchers dug deeper, they found that it wasn’t the organized time training next to each other that mattered most; it was the in-between time.”
― Steve Magness, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness