Vampire Syndrome Quotes

“Consider this a one-thousand horsepower divorce, sweetheart”
― Daven Anderson, Vampire Syndrome

“Since I can't turn into a bat and fly, I'll still need my bus pass”
― Daven Anderson, Vampire Syndrome

“How come they get to be gray-haired and still in love with each other, while Lilly tears out what's left of my heart and dumps it into her Jill-The-Ripper shredder?”
― Daven Anderson, Vampire Syndrome

“You don't get to be the president of anything if you have bad manners.”
― Daven Anderson, Vampire Syndrome

“When you f*** a Vampire, you get a free hat.”
― Daven Anderson, Vampire Syndrome

“You said you left Mississippi in 1854," Ron says. He turns to Mamuwalde and asks "Were you a runaway slave?"

"Not at all," Cindy Lou answers. "Daddy freed him."

Ron's jaw almost hits the floor. His wine glass does.”
― Daven Anderson, Vampire Syndrome

“If we adopted Jack," I quip, "we'd have to give him combat pay for an allowance”
― Daven Anderson, Vampire Syndrome

“We even commissioned a smaller pair of these statues for the baggage claim area in the regular lobby.

Gives all those Normal conspiracy nuts something to talk about besides the Blue Mustang. They think our statues are the work of Masons or reptilian beings. Ha.”
― Daven Anderson, Vampire Syndrome

“Centuries of perfectly-pitched heartbreak resound through Les' microphone as Stella and I embrace in a slow dance.”
― Daven Anderson, Vampire Syndrome

“I floor the gas pedal. The Sonoramic Commando V-8 growls like an angry tiger and leapfrogs us ahead of the traffic.”
― Daven Anderson, Vampire Syndrome

“Remember, our kind protects you Normals from the Pures. We are the rope tied between man and super-beast. A rope forever dangling from the precipice.
I tap Zetania's shoulder and ask, "What's a precipice?"
"A cliff's edge," she whispers.
Precipice. Must be a French word.”
― Daven Anderson, Vampire Syndrome

“My turner Mah'Lor is with me forever as well. At least his head is.”
― Daven Anderson, Vampire Syndrome