The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary Quotes

“BILLIE EILISH, n. A young woman who never went to school, but at age
eighteen became the youngest person in history and the first female artist
to win Record of the Year, Album of the Year, Song of the Year, Best New
Artist, and the Best Pop Vocal Album all at once, at the 62nd Annual Grammy
Awards. See UNSCHOOLING.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“HIPPO, n. Highest Paid Person’s Opinion—which, in public schools, may belong to the principal and, in private ones, most certainly to one of the parents.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“SCHOLARSHIPS, n. Free rides for bright boys, gifted girls, and idiots.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“HELICOPTER PARENTS, n. Fathers and mothers who are well-intended, overprotective, busy, and full of FOMO (fear of missing out). Anxious that their children won’t fly, they train their kids like professional pilots. By the time they are entering puberty, they have often mastered musical instruments, one elite sport, and all sorts of academic studies—thanks to endless evenings with tireless tutors. Having no time for themselves, little helicopters tend to hover over their own identity crises (usually shortly after puberty), and only decades later realize that they are flying fast in the wrong direction.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“HISTORY, n. The study of the past. In
state schools, this exercise typically
involves popular fairy tales promoted by
those who rule the present.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“HOMESCHOOLING, n. The education of children at any place other than a school—usually by parents, tutors, or a mix of both. Where homeschooling is legal, it follows the public curriculum and tends to grow in correlation with parents’ dissatisfaction with the alternatives. Where it’s illegal, all children are forced to go to school, regardless of affinity, bullies, or circumstances—unless of course there is a pandemic and the adults freak out. See
HOMESCHOOLING in the Guide to Alternative Education.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL, n. A program primarily designed for the local elite to showcase their status, signal significance, and sense new networking opportunities. Expatriates, diplomats, and the second languages typically taught by traveling teachers are secondary.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“HOMEWORK, n. A regular exercise that pushes privileged kids ahead of those from broken homes.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“HIPPO, n. Highest Paid Person’s Opinion—which, in public schools, may
belong to the principal and, in private ones, most certainly to one of
the parents.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS,
n. Teenagers who are
often too curious to stay
in school. Notable ones
include Richard Branson,
Walt Disney, Mark
Twain, Amancio Ortega,
Ingvar Kamprad, John
D. Rockefeller, Quentin
Tarantino, Katy Perry,
Arnold Schwarzenegger,
Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise,
Nicole Kidman, Robert
Downey Jr., Marilyn Monroe, Jay-Z, Marlon Brando, Christina Aguilera,
John Travolta, Courtney Love, Chris Rock, Frank Sinatra, Elton John,
Eminem, David Bowie, Keanu Reeves, Jim Carrey, Whoopi Goldberg,
Catherine Zeta-Jones, Kurt Cobain, Mark Wahlberg, Uma Thurman, Seth
Rogan, Ray Charles, Al Pacino, Daniel Radcliffe, Diana (Princess of Wales),
Robert De Niro, Phil Collins, George Harrison, Humphrey Bogart, Kevin
Bacon, and many more.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“HELICOPTER PARENTS, n. Fathers and mothers who are well-intended,
overprotective, busy, and full of FOMO (fear of missing out). Anxious
that their children won’t fly, they train their kids like professional pilots.
By the time they are entering puberty, they have often mastered musical
instruments, one elite sport, and all sorts of academic studies—thanks to
endless evenings with tireless tutors. Having no time for themselves, little
helicopters tend to hover over their own identity crises (usually shortly
after puberty), and only decades later realize that they are flying fast in the
wrong direction.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“LANGUAGE LESSONS, n. A romantic idea that one can teach
students a foreign language by listening to an instructor or
cramming grammar. Pupils hardly ever learn languages in
lessons. People acquire them through immersion in what’s known
as travel, love, or life.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL, n. A program primarily designed for the local elite
to showcase their status, signal significance, and sense new networking
opportunities. Expatriates, diplomats, and the second languages typically
taught by traveling teachers are secondary.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“INTELLIGENCE, n. The ability to think, learn, understand, reflect, adapt,
appreciate, and do much more. In psychology, it’s associated with two primary
ideas: common sense (a.k.a. social intelligence) and IQ, or g, for general
intelligence. In school, both are seldom taught. The first, because that would
require projects and teamwork; the latter because it’s a trait that no one really
knows how to increase.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“INDIAN INSTITUTES OF TECHNOLOGY, n. India’s top engineering factories, which
millions aspire to attend. Unlike Western schools, students are admitted based
on merit alone. Its Bombay franchise may well be the world’s most esteemed
educational enterprise.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“INCONVENIENT TRUTH, n. Teens (used to) have sex.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“INCLUSION, n. The controversial practice of including children with special
needs in classes with the general student population. Some argue for full
inclusion, while others maintain that separate programs are superior.
Extremists on both sides miss the obvious: children with special needs have
special needs—what’s good for them always depends.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“HOMEWORK, n. A regular exercise that pushes privileged kids ahead of those
from broken homes.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“CAPITALISM, n. A clever concept that combats the compelling confirmation
bias of those who have learned to prosper within large, state-funded
structures. See SOCIALISM.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“BUNKING OFF, v. British for doing something worthwhile.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“BOOTLEGGERS AND BAPTISTS, n. A phenomenon in economics in which two
groups with seemingly opposing interests join forces to support something
that benefits them both. In private, profit-oriented schools, the effect emerges
when principals and paying parents work in teams to tell tough teachers to
re-grade poorly performing pupils.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“BOARDING SCHOOLS, n. Schools based on the idea that
it’s good for children as young as six or seven
to be institutionalized and raised by
strangers. “How I hated this school...what a
life of anxiety,” Churchill wrote about his
experience at Eton. See ETON COLLEGE.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives

“BATTLE RAP, n. A type of performance art where two or more rappers engage in
a verbal competition, using improvised or pre-written lyrics to showcase their
skills in wordplay, lyricism, and delivery. The aim is to outwit the opponent
and awe the audience. While it’s one of the few forms of creative language
application that excite teenagers, schoolteachers tend to trivialize the work of
2Pac, Biggie Smalls, Jay-Z, and Eminem and idealize Shakespeare, Fitzgerald,
and Harper Lee instead.”
― Jonas Koblin, The Unschooler's Educational Dictionary: A Lighthearted Introduction to the World of Education and Curriculum-Free Alternatives