Pri L’s Reviews > The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness > Status Update

Considering this format as an approach of horizontal relationships. Philo says not to judge others since its births out of vertical relationships. One should be building horizontal relationships there would be more gratitude that is straightforward respectful and joy.

Philo says that being praised is that one is receiving positive judgment from the other person as “good” which the measure between good ir bad about the act is the persons yardstick. So if one is trying to recieve praise, they would have to adapt to the other persons yardstick and hold on to their freedom since your under their liking with relationships and situations. Having a “thank you” instead of being judged it’s showing an expression of gratitude in which one hears that and feels that they made a contribution to another person.

To obtain courage, one has to acc. To adler’s view, “it’s only when a person is able to feel that he has worth that he can posses courage.” So then it’s considered being beneficial to the community.

Exist in the present is the next chapter which talks about looking at another person on the level of his ax is the usual way of being grateful so when that person does something you would consider a level of act, but Philo says we should focus on the level of being without judging whether or not people did something. Instead, they would rejoice in their presence their existence and one calls out to them with words of gratitude. According to Flo “if you consider things of the level of being we are of used to others and have worse just by being there “so saying that what it means to be grateful on the level of being just analyzing and feeling gratitude towards other person‘s presence it would show the other person how big they mean to you they would just feel way more valuable than an act alone. So instead of thinking to oneself on the level of acts, first of all one accepts oneself on the level of being.

When seeing this as an every day situation, we are very comparative beings, meaning that we are prone to construct our own images of ourselves, which we would detract from and judge meeting. There are a lot of comparisons which then comes the complaints and dissatisfaction that is pointless because it’s an impossible fiction with parents. They treat their child. The idea idealized image as 100 points which they graduate subtract from that in which is a truly good judgment way of thinking so for parents💙 instead of doing such they could refrain from comparing a child to anyone else see them for who they actually are and be glad and grateful for their presence in your existence so instead of taking away the points for some idealized image or comparison to another child, they should start from zero from birth if they do that they will be able to call out the existence itself. Putting into another example for a child who doesn’t go to school or get a job and shut itself and stay home. How should one communicate one’s gratitude and say thank you to that child Phil says that let’s suppose the shutting child helps with washing the dishes after a meal and the parent decides to say “enough of that already. Just go to School“ you’ll be using the words of such parents who would they attract from an image of an ideal child which the child would just become more discouraged and take a mental tour, though if the parent says straightforward, thank you the child just might view his or her own worth and would take the next step forward. The child knows what they have to do. What’s their task their time of independence their time of collecting a job or study they just lack motivation. The youth, which is the interviewer says that a hypocritical the neighbor love that Christians talk about the community feeling the horizontal relationships the gratitude for existence and etc., and he says who “could actually do such things?“ The says in regards to the issue of community feeling there’s a person asked Adler a similar question. Adler’s reply “someone has to start. Other people might not be cooperative, but that is not connected to you. My device is this: you should start with no regard to whether others are cooperative or not.” Philo believes the same.