dani > Recent Status Updates

this bitch is so pathetic. it’s driving me crazy.

bitches don’t know how to hold grudges. nia would’ve never heard from me again!

“THIS BITCH IS A LOSER!” i scream even though i understand every reference she’s making.

i knew she was chronically online but this is too much.

this book is so so boring. i don’t care about anything happening.

after reading 6 of these damn books i finally learned that abby jimenez owns nadia cakes. i thought she just really liked them. these fucking books are ads for her bakery and minnesota.

i’m not straight enough for this shit. i understand the bat wings now. there’s no way that white man looks like that. every piece of fanart i saw he had very brown skin.

3 times? by 4 different characters. okay, tumblr here i come. who the fuck is rhysand?

bringing up acotar twice is crazy. i don’t know who that man is. this is not a helpful description of his looks to me.

i knew it!

she’s loves the good “dumped in a four minute phone call” thing. i mean i’d only have 2 nickels but it’s funny that i happened twice.

i love when she makes the villain or the backstory of a character a hallmark movie from the jilted lover’s perspective.

how in the hell did i get back to fake dating adults? it’s always so dumb. you are in your late 20s why are you lying to your grandma?

there is always a girl in these that is a great cook. i can’t blame her. it’s my dream too.

i feel so alive. horny for life.

i’m already not horny for life. let me chill on sad shit for now.

worst father on earth. i don’t forgive you!

you gotta beat a bitch’s ass sometimes, sadie! you gotta fucking molly wop a hoe! i would’ve punched her. she would’ve got her ass beat when we were kids. i wouldn’t have waited this long.

this book is so stupid. i love it so much!

i knew there wasn’t gonna be no damn 2 hazels at that fucking coffee shop!

i had to reread it to see if the wife said his name and she didn’t. who is this guy! i know i’m being dramatic because obviously it’s gonna be the same guy but goddamn! just reveal it already!

every moment i read this book, i hate her father more.

this book must be what it feels like to be face blind. who is she talking to?! who is this!?

if this ends up being the same dude and they don’t tell me in this scene then they are fucking with me.

this faceblind shit is making me nervous. is the grocery store guy coming back or was that just to show what she’s like as a person?

is oliver, joe creepo from the elevator, and grocery store guy the same guy?

also is grocery store guy the one who saved her?

i thought joe creepo was talking about an animal when he was in the elevator, still unkind of him but he called it a ons so i’m probably wrong.

i would be so fucking pissed at my dad. she told him she wanted to wait and now he fucked her up so bad she can’t even do the thing she wanted to wait for.

julius wouldn’t run his bodyguard agency like this. this is so unprofessional. i know glen has to be mad.

i don’t want them together. that is so unprofessional. it hasn’t even started to get romantic yet but this is your job, girl! don’t be weird.

fake dating? again! why didn’t the possibility even cross my mind? 🤦🏾‍♀️

bad kisser? yeah fuck you!