Kaia > Recent Status Updates

"Rows of mausoleums huddled in the shadows like toadstool houses in a fairy store." Holy Jesus fuck, that is one of the single most incongruous similes I've ever read, and Clare has already slung some real doozies my way.

Uh, Clare? Modern day manga translations come with reading instructions. If the kid is old enough to read manga, he's old enough to figure out how to read it.

Oh, now Jace's words taste like poison. Well, I guess that much be a nice change from metal. *headdesk*

Stop with the eyes like burning ice or burning jewels or burning poison or whatever. JUST STOP. Not everything needs a simile, especially not a luridly purple and bad one.

And the award for least convincing love triangle ever goes to...

"Eyes like burning ice, sunk deep into dark folds, regarded Jace with a snarling amusement." What am I doing with my life? ;.;

"His ears were ringing, and he could taste terror in his mouth, like bitter metal. Who would have thought that fear had a taste?" Considering this is the third time Jace has tasted his emotions as some kind of metal in his mouth in this book alone, I'm not sure why he's surprised.

...why exactly is Clary being a total asshat to Maia? I don't get it. Maia did exactly nothing wrong. If Clare is trying to show that Clary is suffering emotional turmoil right now and thus lashing out at others, she's doing a horrible job of actually getting that across.

"The Inquisitor stared at him as if he were a talking cockroach." You mean he isn't? (I know I used that joke last book, but c'mon, it's Jace. He pretty much is a talking cockroach, but without any of the redeeming features.)

Oh, give it up, Alec. That is so a hickey.

Okay, seriously though. Could the plot start happening sometime soon?

Yesterday I sat outside and read in the warm sun, then came in for a glass of homemade lemonade. Today I'm huddling indoors, hiding from the cold wind and drinking tea. Fucking Scandinavian weather.

So, Maia seems pretty cool. Which makes me wonder what horrible fate is in store for her. Will she be fridged? Turned evil? Just disappear into the ether because Clare forgot she ever made the character up in the first place?

Okay, Jace, if you want people to believe you're not the spawn of evil Pseudo-Nazi Voldemort Wannabe Valentine the Ex-Shadowhunter, you can start by not being such a giant bag of dicks to all the Downworlders.

I don't like Jace, and I hate to defend him, but I still think Mrs. Ex-Pseudo-Nazi is being a giant hypocrite here. She was once part of a group that wanted to commit mass genocide. Why should Jace trust her?

"I'm tired of this anime. I can't tell what the plot is and no one ever has sex.
"Of course they don't," Clary said, taking another chip. "Anime is wholesome family entertainment.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That wasn't supposed to be serious, was it?

Only 13 pages before hitting our first mention of acid. If I'm in for more poison/acid descriptors and bad cat similes, this is gonna go down hard.

"Two eyes hung in the shadow like jewels caught in a spider's web." Well, except for the whole thing where spidersilk would be too fragile to even fucking hold them.

"With a sound like air being sucked from a tire, the outline of the pentagram suddenly burst into flames." That's not how tires even work! Does she mean air being let out of a tire? I cannot relate this to real life, Clare!

"The formidable glass-and-steel structure rose from its position on Front Street like a glittering needle threading the sky." That is literally the first line of the book. Jesus fuck, this doesn't bode well.

Since I always get that "Now what do I read?" slump when I've finished a good book lately, and I've discovered that reading bad books helps that go away, and since I have this lying around...well, you get the idea.

Just got in from reading in the sun, gonna have a nice glad of homemade lemonade now. It's okay, you can hate me. XD

"Sadly, I was more fastidious than feminist, and I dropped the key into Ben's waiting hand." Amy, I don't think any feminists would blame you for not wanting to change a flat tire, at night, in the wilderness, when someone had threatened you, and your only clothing choices are threads covered in bat shit or your skivvies.

Omigod, Phin got into chemistry and physics because of Ghost Hunters and she's a mad genius with actual magic powers in a world where ghosts are real and THIS IS SO FREAKIN' COOL!

Ghosts, history, archaeology, humor, mystery...this is fabulous. Now all it needs is fluffy bunnies, parrots, and homemade cookies, and it'll contain all of my favorite things.

Got so caught up in work for my agent today, I forget about my PT appointment and my anniversary! That is so unlike me, I'm stunned.

I really despise people who want to coddle authors and act like writing isn't a job, and writers should get all kinds of special treatment and not have to answer for it when they don't get their work done. What part of "career" is so bloody hard to understand?

Okay, so far, this is more like it. I love the voice.

"The goat was in the tree again." Maybe it's just because I'm an oddball, but that's one of my favorite opening lines ever.

You know, if you're going to do this insta-love, inexplicably drawn to each other thing, the characters need to have chemistry. They can't just be mooning over each other because you say so. CHEMISTRY IS AN ART FORM, DAMNIT. Learn it.