Lupinus Texensis > Recent Status Updates

Philip the Fair! MY FAVORITE ASSHOLE RIGHT BEHIND HENRY VIII.

Only one quibble: Mordechai Anielewicz does not look like himself. Also, Mira Fuchrer should really be in here, WITH speaking lines.

This book is SO beautiful. The pages, the binding, the typeface, EVERYTHING. Major kudos to Eerdman's Books for Young People, which I did not know even existed before today.

This is GAWGEOUS. Also, devastating.

I'm working at a MUCH bigger branch today which means...GRAPHIC NOVEL BINGE!

Henry was the worst. THE WORST. Imagine what could have been avoided if he'd just kicked the bucket on that ill-fated hunting expedition.

As a language nerd/amateur enthusiast/fan of dead languages, this. is. slaying. me.

Someone send me a half-frozen man speaking Breton already?

Alana: "That was Sexy Alana! She's a crazy person! Sexy Alana is obsessed with her nipples and uses the word 'dick' unironically! She's not to be trusted!"

This series is just the best.

Oh sweet pancakes. It's like the biggest, nakedest, most disgusting Titan of all time. Like, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Okay, I went and looked up Meg Neville, the stepdaughter. This whole book is just going to be depressing as shit. Dot better get a happy ending.

Oh sure, throw in a rocking chair seven centuries too soon. SURE.

This is officially a spite read.

I...like...Seymour? I'm very confused right now. I'm feeling things for Seymour that aren't, like, virulent disgust. I has a confused.

This is like some terrible parody of of Outlander. It's like someone made an outline of Gabaldon's book and then filled it in with pages on the cutting room floor of Mary Balogh.

UGH. FIRST KILTS AND NOW GOLD AND WHITE WEDDING DRESSES. IN 1100.

THE EDITOR IS FIRED. EVERYONE IS FIRED.

There's a whole lot of telling going on here. Also, violet eyes are my pet peeve. I understand that they exist in nature, BUT AT WHAT COST.

"God you guys SUCK. Get out of my car, I can't listen to this anymore."

"You're gonna stick around though, yeah, Kate-and-Barrel? You're kind of the getaway car."

"And get arrested with you two? Go to hell."

Kate Bishop gives me life.

"Okay, Clint. You can do this. You can actually move into your apartment, like a grown-ass man. Okay. Boxes. Start with all of the boxes."

And now, something to counteract the bitter, bitter inevitable tragedy of Catherine Parr's life.

It was the tinker in the stable with the FLAMING BRANCH!

Absurdly smug that the FICTIONAL American doctor figures out the causal link between acid rain and the Laki eruption before the FICTIONAL British doctors.

SUCK IT, ENGLAND.

I did not realize this book was about Catherine Parr or I would have run in the other direction. Definitely in the Top Five Tragic Tudor Ladies.

I had no idea about Catherine and her step-daughter being held hostage during the Pilgrimage of Grace. YIKES.

AND a sterling A+ to Fremantle for emphasizing just HOW GROSS Henry VIII was at the end of his life. Unlike CERTAIN CABLE SHOWS I could name.

Why is Lydia so PASSIVE? Ugh. Total turnoff.

I hate to start nitpicking already. HA. I couldn't even type that with a straight face. I love to start nitpicking right away.

Fremantle just referenced a family portrait of the Tudors which wasn't completed until after Catherine Parr was queen. She's not even on Henry's radar yet.

Minus ten points for failure to be a slave to accuracy in favor of exposition.

Can we talk about how badly I want a Lying Cat? Just a hairless cat the size of a mastiff to follow me around and go "LYING" whenever somebody's trying to fuck with me.

"Jesus--he's the acupuncture victim?"

This isn't required reading for YA book club until August, but we all know how great my self-control is.

"While the Ch'ing government licks the boots of its round-eyed masters, the Big Sword society roams the countryside fighting for the black-headed people. The Big Sword Society is the only recourse to justice! For this you arrest us? In truth, it is you who are the criminals! Throw down your weapons and prostrate yourselves at our feet! Perhaps then, we will forgive your crimes against China!"

Daaaaamn.

But of COURSE her asshat husband is hanging with the Mathers in Boston. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

If real life Mary Rowlandson did not bone real life James, I will eat a real life Pilgrim Buckle Hat.

The Puritans were no fun. At all. It's a damn shame that Joseph wasn't around to get scalped, but life isn't fair. Reject the just world theory, Mary, while you still can.

UGH. Certain people need to get hit by the omnibus for real.