Lupinus Texensis > Recent Status Updates

"NO! NO SPOILERS!"

Oh yes, Alana is indeed One Of Us.

IT'S HERE. IT'S HEEEERE!!

I do wish Harry would hurry up and die. I mean, all of England is thinking it at this point. You're circling the drain, asshat. Sorry you killed so many people. But it's time to shuffle off and meet your maker.

Oh, Ivy...what did you DO? This is definitely one of the better written books in the series.

This book is making me very grateful to be a Reform Jew in modern times.

I would absolutely resort to violence if someone suggested a levirate marriage anywhere near me.

I had that rage stroke for nothing. Here comes the halizah.

Pump the fucking brakes here for a second.

1) Yibbum may apply here.
2) But halizah also applies here.
3) I don't care who this Rabbi is, he ain't shit to overrule halizah.

HALAKHA IS NOT A PLOT DEVICE. SOME JEWS STILL LIVE BY IT. SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR EDITOR.

Okay, I could have done without that little cannibalism.

The Toast on Anne Boleyn

Anne was great at a lot of things, for example pretending to be French. She helped solidify England’s alliance with France, which she probably accomplished by taking every important French dude aside and being like, “Listen, just tell him that Catherine of Aragon’s a bitch and that you hate Spain."

This audiobook is KILLING IT, y'all.

If you enjoy Tudor fiction or just good historical fiction, definitely pick this up on audio.

Her voice is just FANTASTIC. And the way she does Richard Rich and Wriothsley and Henry are so good. I just wanted to slap them all as hard as I could.

I AM SO NERVOUS.

Mary, girl, I know my Greek Myths. You are NOT making this up.

MINUS ONE STAR.

It's a tilde. It's not some exotic fucking diacritic mark. Spanish is not some remote language spoken only by one kinship group at the base of the Alps. IT'S A FUCKING TILDE.

"Senor" my lily white ass.

Three isolated teens embark on a mission of revenge. Part 1: Make Alex Lind complete unfuckable.

Why is this not a mini-series yet?

I really hope this revenge plan involves running Rennie over with a speed boat.

This book is a trainwreck. The Spanish is wrong. The English is wrong. The italics aren't consistent from page to page. All internal logic has failed.

This book is the poster child of self-publishing horror stories.

True story, though. I've never met a preacher's kid that wasn't a complete asshat, top to bottom, no exceptions.

First spelling error. Why why WHY did L. Divine decide she was too good for editors?

No one is too good for editors.

Just reviewing the cast of characters is already too much. I'd forgotten how far off the rails this series went...

"Better you should suffer than Victoria."

Apparently, Lady's Maid to the Heir Presumptive's list of duties also includes "rape decoy for Conroy." Egads.

WHOA. Dot just threw that bitch right under the bus. The omnibus.

The Thames ferry bus of flaming Protestants.

I really, really hate it when people dumb things down for YA books. Come on. You can write plainly and clearly without beating me over the head.

DUCHESS BAD. BARONESS GOOD. ALBERT HOT.

What is the POINT of being queen if you STILL HAVE HEAD LICE.

Let me tell you a thing. If I had to fuck Henry VIII's literally rotting old man body, you best believe I would not be putting up with vermin living on me. NOT WORTH IT.

In every good historical novel, a nerd will reach a point at which she shrieks out loud "OH SHIT. OH IT'S FUCKING ON" while travelling 75 miles an hour down 95. Ladies and Gentleman, Anne Askew.

Aaaaand an extra star for the visual Indiana Jones joke. A tip of the hat to LeUyen Pham.

"Only one thing's certain in this life, and that is that the cesspits of Paris are gonna fill up with piss and shit every summer, rain or shine. The more it rains, the quicker they fill. And the hotter the sun shines, the worse it stinks. There's no kind of weather ever been devised by God that ain't good for my business."

Ah, medieval life. So romantic.

Isabelle is a stone cold bitch and I AM INTO IT.

This is awesome. Imagine the tone and style of El Dorado with the camaraderie of The Three Musketeers meets the plot of The Winter Soldier. Kind of.

It's awesome.