Sofie > Recent Status Updates

"so this is how it's going to be? you hold my hand and pretend that you have power over me?" james honey baby sweetheart i don't think will is the one pretending here

james is truly the only person that could understand will right now and yet he has no idea. when james discovered what he was, he was forcibly cast out and ran to the only place that could offer him protection and family. and now that will has discovered what he is, he's also running to the only family he has left, but in doing so, it makes him the same traitor that james was. just in secret. kill me!!!

violet feeling the impulse to hit james again because his wounds heal so instantly makes me want to puke actually. he shows no consequence for the atrocities he's committed but that also means that he bears no scars from the atrocities that he's suffered. he remains a perfect, pristine trophy, the very sight of which has the potential to drive people mad with the desire to either tarnish or possess him or both

we are only 15 pages in and i have no idea how will is possibly going to live with all the guilt and lies he's already constantly telling. ESPECIALLY since james is the one who gets the brunt of the ire that belongs to will himself (so he believes). the isolation is going to eat him alive and i can already feel the suffocation of it in the writing

OH WHAT THE FUCK OH THIS IS SO BAD ALREADY

i. okay. yeah okay. mmhmm. i fucking knew it first of all cause what do you mean the guy with black hair and black eyes is the champion of the light, that was fishy from the GET GO. but then also his connection to james and desire to use the collar and the really strange and sudden “love” between him and katherine, it all makes so much sense!!!!!!!! i love when you can feel a twist on the tip of your tongue

i have not checked in because i feel insane i’ve just been reading and panicking like a madwoman but I NEED IT TO BE KNOWN THAT I DONT WANT VIOLET TO DIE

the way that will has had a total of 2 solo conversations with james and already sees him more clearly than anyone else in the world simply because he asked the questions no one else bothered to??????? how many times did simon try to brand him and does he remember his past lives. and the answers he got told him EVERYTHING. now that’s the level of character writing through dialogue i expect from c.s. pacat

c.s. pacat and his fucking collar fixation WE ALL SEE YOU

i have been speechless for the past few chapters what the FUCK??!!!?!!?!!!!!!! this kind of tone shift is exactly what this book needed to really kick itself into high gear and slough off all its dead weight
i hope will gets PISSED now and goes on a murder spree. he deserves it

theres something so defiantly powerful but also sinisterly tragic about simon trying and failing to brand james SEVERAL TIMES. he can’t scar, so he can’t show any evidence of his pain, but he also can’t be truly owned like simon’s other cronies. what an interesting double-edged sword

ah the intimacy of a stabbing scene my favorite trope

“no one could look at him and not want to possess him” HELLO???? there’s the c.s. pacat deliciousness i’ve been waiting for. the perfect mix of sexually charged and deeply tragic i’ve come to know from the way she writes her characters

okay. this trio (and the promise of more james content very soon) is saving it for me i am 1000x more interested now

i am about halfway through this book and i still do not understand why people are SO obsessed with it…..something big better happen soon cause i am slogging along in a way i did not expect. idk if it’s the ya writing or if i just had skewed expectations but i’m just struggling to connect to most of these characters. i’m by far the most interested in james, who we’ve only seen like twice

DANTE CLOCKING HOW OUT OF CHARACTER IT IS FOR VANITAS TO STICK AROUND AFTER THE BLOOD DISAGREEMENT LETS GOOOOOOOOO
but also, vanitas' excuse about noé staying up all night and not letting him sneak off to gevaudan by himself is flimsy when you remember how easily noé gets lost......vanitas could've left him behind so many times but CHOSE not to at every turn. we all see you vanitas you're not slick

vanitas is never beating the black cat allegations
also love how he's suddenly "delicate" when it comes to the cold as if he hasn't been exaggerating and playing up his strength in front of everyone at every turn. what a diva

noé staying up all night for fear of vanitas leaving him behind???? vanitas assuring him that he won't disappear and promising to wake him up when they get to the countryside????? gotta love an unspoken truce

yet another moment where vanitas is reminded OUTRIGHT that noé is interested in understanding him, and he CHOOSES TO STAY WITH HIM ANYWAY. he teases him (i wonder if the whole licking the blood off clothes thing will come back at some point.....cause he seemed like he was genuinely considering it.....) and gives noé an opening to walk alongside him to the station. there is a part of him that wants to be known.

so. noé admits that part of his desire to drink vanitas' blood comes from a desire to know more about his past, and vanitas' FIRST QUESTION to him is "how would that benefit you"????? bc, to vanitas, EVERYTHING is about gaining the upper hand, and EVERYONE has an ulterior motive. but noé is the antithesis of all that, and he flat out says that he doesn't care about any benefits. he just wants to know. what the fuck.

i'm really commenting on every other page but there's just SO MUCH OKAY. i love how this moment parallels the bell tower scene with vanitas noticing noé's moodiness and calling him out on it just like noé had done with vanitas. they're constantly pushing each other's buttons and misstepping and reconciling and it's all in service of understanding each other more deeply, whether they realize it or not

OUCH i'm pretty sure they left this out of the anime too!! but i love the continued emphasis on noé's complicated relationship with his power and how it's made him feel like even more of an outsider. but it's also made him understand the weight of consent!! noé really is someone who yearns to understand people and the world around him, and his power, with all its pros and cons, reflects that so perfectly

the use of names is so important to vanitas, so when he calls noé "archiviste" here, you KNOW what it means. he's making it very clear why he doesn't want noé in particular coming anywhere near his blood. and the way he completely shuts down afterwards and escapes to the rooftop after JUST starting to share the room with noé????? OUCH. they've made progress but vanitas is still a pretty closed book

WOAH this explanation about the mechanics and intentions of blood drinking in this universe is really spelling it all out huh
it's not necessarily about the blood itself. it's about taking energy/power from someone, which can be a beautifully vulnerable thing with consent or a horrifically exploitative thing without it. i wish they'd kept this in the anime cause it adds so much!!!

this is the second time that noé has gotten SO CLOSE to realizing his feelings for vanitas but misses the mark so ridiculously and it's truly hilarious

this expression on roland's face is SO incredible i can't stop staring at it!!! i really think the art and facial expressions in this manga rival those of the summer hikaru died. i've been blown away by the level of complexity and beauty in both, albeit in very different ways at times

decided to reread the beginning of this volume before continuing on and wow do i adore vanitas sprinting back to the hotel bc he's worried about ruthven even POTENTIALLY hurting noé. i fear that'll never not be insane. top tier vanoé moment. it does such a fantastic job of showing us just how much vanitas has come to rely on and care for noé despite his attempts to deny it. the catacombs changed EVERYTHING for them

okay. everything and everybody is fishy as FUCK and i do not trust the order. there's secrets with the cup ceremony, there's secrets with the elder steward, there's secrets with james and his connection to jannick and the stewards. james was ABSOLUTELY trained by the stewards at first, and i cannot WAIT to find out what made him betray them. it's slow going but i'm still invested enough

c.s. pacat i trust you with my life and more importantly with my queer enemies to lovers trilogies

god i LOVE how jaeha is challenging gija’s entire existence!! cause it is kind of insane how eager he was to follow yona, and i’d love to see him really come to find his OWN reason to follow her instead of just following this destiny that he was raised to have absolute faith in