Jeremy Maddux > Recent Status Updates

'In the end though, there’s nothing that you can do to emotionally prepare yourself for a floating couch cushion or an alien going berserk in your backyard. So just keep a picture of Little Richard with you at all times, because it’s impossible to stay scared when you look at it.'

Hamburger, Trey. Ghosts Aliens . Crown. Kindle Edition.

'What’s the deal with these dead grandpas popping up and attacking people all the time? I don’t know. I’m sick of it, and that’s what we’re going to find out.'

Hamburger, Trey. Ghosts Aliens . Crown. Kindle Edition.

'If you’re one of those people who think that we should first be trying to the solve the world’s socioeconomic problems, like child prostitution or the price of a taco, before we even THINK about dealing with ghosts/aliens, then try this: Imagine you’re about to go to sleep at night and there’s this really weird green face right outside your window, staring at you.Makes global politics seem meaningless, doesn’t it?'

pillow. “Jeez, you look rough, girl!” He turned her around and inspected her from behind. “And skinny. I mean, I know it’s in style, but have you been doing too much liposuction, sweetie? You have to be careful with that shit. You know the damn lipotechs get paid by the ounce, so unless you get the paperwork just right before they put you under they’ll suck out all they can. Fucking mortals.”

History and information will never be illegal, hard as some maniacs might try. And I don't even agree with David Irving, but that doesn't mean you have the right to erase him.

"Though she was not by nature the soldiering type, she taught him to look at life as a daisy chain of small events, each of which could be made manageable in its own way. She was a person for whom kindness was a very ordinary thing, who believed that the only acceptable excuse for not having a bird feeder in the back garden was that you had one in the front garden."

Wow, I'm enjoying this one already.

'Look, I’m not saying that you have to reject the whole conception of the universe. I’m just asking you not to be a dick about ghosts and aliens. Scientists of Planet Earth, don’t you remember the first time you were like, What the fuck? Don’t you want that feeling again?'
Agreed. That is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Terry Goodkind writes anime now.

Then before the monster could force its way into the room, Ambrose slammed the door in its face and scuffled back over to the nightstand, all the while muttering, “Damn fucking Brainchew. Can’t the goddam motherfucking jerk stay dead? I mean, am I gonna spend my whole fucking life killing it?”

Wol-vriey. Brainchew (p. 174). Burning Bulb Publishing. Kindle Edition.