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“Well, good-bye: I have enjoyed our conversation very much, I assure you.”
“Conversation, indeed!” said the Rocket. “You have talked the whole time yourself. That is not conversation.”
“Somebody must listen,” answered the Frog, “and I like to do all the talking myself. It saves time, and prevents arguments.”
― Oscar Wilde, Oscar Wilde Stories for Children

“What is a sensitive person?” said the Cracker to the Roman Candle.
“A person who, because he has corns himself, always treads on other people's toes,” answered the Roman Candle in a low whisper; and the Cracker nearly exploded with laughter.”
― Oscar Wilde, Oscar Wilde Stories for Children

“I like hearing myself talk. It is one of my greatest pleasures. I often have long conversations all by myself, and I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
― Oscar Wilde, Oscar Wilde Stories for Children

“I have a package for somebody named Mrs. Jewls,” he said.
“I’ll take it,” said Louis.
“Are you Mrs. Jewls?” asked the man.
“No,” said Louis.
“I have to give it to Mrs. Jewls,” said the man.
Louis thought a moment. He didn’t want the man disturbing the children. He knew how much they hated to be interrupted when they were working.
“I’m Mrs. Jewls,” he said.
“But you just said you weren’t Mrs. Jewls,” said the man.
“I changed my mind,” said Louis.
The man got the package out of the back of the truck and gave it to Louis. “Here you go, Mrs. Jewls,” he said.”
― Louis Sachar, Wayside School Is Falling Down