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“If you're gonna buy me a present, don't spend more than twenty five bucks, you'll get a blowjob anyway.”
― Gerard Way

“Hey, girls, you're beautiful. Don't look at those stupid magazines with sticklike models. Eat healthy and exercise. That's all. Don't let anyone tell you you're not good enough. You're good enough, you are too good. Love your family with all your heart and listen to it. You are gorgeous, whether you're a size 4 or 14. It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, as long as you're a good person, as long as you respect others. I know it's been told hundreds of times before, but it's true. Hey, girls, you are beautiful.”
― Gerard Way

“I'm not drunk, just a little stoned.”
― Gerard Way

“If there were an international butt competition, Eric would win, hands down—or cheeks up.”
― Charlaine Harris, Dead to the World