Caleb

“Nothing in the universe had a shorter half-life than a politician's memory for inconvenient facts,”
― David Weber, Echoes of Honor

“What happened?” she breathed, staring at me.

“I got hit in the face with a pie,” I said.

Mags stopped, blinking. “You got...hit in the face with a pie,” she repeated. “I...what? I’m sorry, but I’ve been in charge of this Library for a long time. I’ve seen a lot of really ridiculous things. I lived in Wales. And there is no way being hit with a pie should have turned you human.”

“It was a really evil pie,” I said.”
― Seanan McGuire, Chimes at Midnight

“Having spent time in Hell, he knew that government paperwork was the closest mankind had ever come to achieving true soul-crushing misery.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Nemesis

“I require something so horrifically alcoholic that it makes livers tremble with fear and run for their lives when its name is uttered.”
― Seanan McGuire, Midnight Blue-Light Special