Caleb

“What happened?” she breathed, staring at me.

“I got hit in the face with a pie,” I said.

Mags stopped, blinking. “You got...hit in the face with a pie,” she repeated. “I...what? I’m sorry, but I’ve been in charge of this Library for a long time. I’ve seen a lot of really ridiculous things. I lived in Wales. And there is no way being hit with a pie should have turned you human.”

“It was a really evil pie,” I said.”
― Seanan McGuire, Chimes at Midnight

“I am beginning to feel the need of a glass of wine to fortify myself against this conversation.”
― Naomi Novik, His Majesty's Dragon

“It's no good choosing your first husband from a school for evil geniuses. Much too difficult to kill.”
― Gail Carriger, Etiquette & Espionage

“Isaac: “Besides, is it really stealing if you’re stealing from an asshole?”
Lena: “I’d have to double-check, but I don’t think the criminal code includes an asshole clause.”
― Jim C. Hines, Libriomancer