it's personal discussion
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trying to feel like me again
message 601:
by
kavi ~he-him~
(new)
Jan 13, 2018 06:56PM
sorry Erin you died in the hunger games :(
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Erin I'm doing the hunger games simulator thing again and you and Val are on the same team
Valentine Ransom (call me Val) ~Phantom of the Library~ wrote: "I hope things go well!"Thanks! :)
❄️Ƙανу тнє ναмριяє❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) (Aelonian) (AA family) wrote: "Erin sorry but I put you along with my other GR and Insta and twitter friends and my fav band members, and myself, into the hunger gamesthere is this thing called the Hunger games simulator"
Ooh that's cool! I always wanted to die- I mean participate in the Hunger Games
❄️Ƙανу тнє ναмριяє❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) (Aelonian) (AA family) wrote: "sorry Erin you died in the hunger games :("Oh that's unfortunate of me. Dying like that. Hopefully I at least died with style or at least at the hands of someone with style. I wanted to give them a good show XD
❄️Ƙανу тнє ναмριяє❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) (Aelonian) (AA family) wrote: "Erin I'm doing the hunger games simulator thing again and you and Val are on the same team"Yay teamwork!! :D
My thoughts and feelings are a mess,
they're out of control,
and I've got to take hold.
But how can I
take hold
of something I can't see?
Hate yourself.Hate yourself more, longer.
Let the hate linger.
It's okay.
You'll never love yourself anyways.
Up at 3 am, again.
What are you
Who are you
*Scoffs*
Aldora.
Phone at 14%
The bar slowly dropping
Because if battery saver
and no outlet to work
Gods, I meant that as a question about my phone dying but damn.
I'm going to love myself despite my negative thoughts like I frown despite the reasons to smile.
I'm going to love myself despite the long nights and the reckless ambition.
I'm going to love myself despite my anxiety and my depression that fight against me.
I'm going to love myself despite the self depreciating jokes.
*pops in, tackle hugs Erin, realizes creepiness and run away*
I'm going to love myself despite not being able to trust myself.
Hallie wrote: "*pops in, tackle hugs Erin, realizes creepiness and run away*"Ahhhhh no stay! *tries to chase to hug back but falls do to clumsiness*
My life is an apparent mess. I want to stay awake forever. Sleep takes up so much time. I went to bed at 2 yesterday and woke up at nine. And now it's three.
*runs back to catch Erin* Are you okay? :D
I don't want to imagine not writing and so when my hands become brittle and fragile and I can't pick up a damn pencil I won't stop. I'll scream my words out into the sky like it's become my new notebook, my new canvas, and I won't stop until my voice is completely gone. And when it is, then what?
Hallie wrote: "*runs back to catch Erin* Are you okay? :D"Yep! It seems like I can't stop falling today, though XD
Haha same and omg though earlier I almost fell if the stairs because I was walking and we gave lots of boxes at the bottom of our stairs and I was trying to move pass them and almost fell off the side and now I wish there was a railing on that side because I didn't think about how scary that was ubtil now.
Thank goodness you're safe! It would have been bad if you fell.
Yeah, true! Afterwards I was laughing but now all I can think is why do people let me walk stairs, why do they exist. I mean there are elevators so why can't houses use them oh but they get stuck...hmm. That might be a problem.
Sorry if I end up disappearing btw. My phone doesn't seem to want to stop dying.
I don't think I'll ever stop writing tbh. Even when I'm old. I don't want to ever stop and so I don't think I ever will. It's so weird to think about. What about a world without writing? Wow, I just can't tonight. Maybe later. Probably not.
Yes! Stairs are my enemies too, but so are elevators. Escalators?
Erin wrote: "❄️Ƙανу тнє ναмριяє❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) (Aelonian) (AA family) wrote: "sorry Erin you died in the hunger games :("Oh that's unfortunate of me. Dying like that. Hopefully I at least died with style or at l..."
XD I died at the beginning XD
Valentine Ransom (call me Val) ~Phantom of the Library~ wrote: "Escalators can be dangerous also! Nothing's ever truly quite safe."true, I always get hesitant before I step on the escalators
Valentine Ransom (call me Val) ~Phantom of the Library~ wrote: "Escalators can be dangerous also! Nothing's ever truly quite safe."True, but I find them less scary than stairs and elevators. Of course, it could be only me.
Hallie wrote: "Yes! Stairs are my enemies too, but so are elevators. Escalators?"I almost had a panic attack in the elevators when I was going to the doctor and I could see the outside and it was scary. Sorry that was slightly random. I haven't seen an escalator in forever! I hate them, though. I always forget if you're supposed to stay on one or move or how to get off without dying. My sisters and I were just talking about escalators though and we've all agreed that we'll avoid them and search for stairs when we need to XD
❄️Ƙανу тнє ναмριяє❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) (Aelonian) (AA family) wrote: "Erin wrote: "❄️Ƙανу тнє ναмριяє❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) (Aelonian) (AA family) wrote: "sorry Erin you died in the hunger games :("Oh that's unfortunate of me. Dying like that. Hopefully I at least died with ..."
Oh no! Wait does that mean I'm more prepared? XD
My mom knows just how to make me feel terrible :(
Like I barely want to live, but she makes it worse
I barely want to eat and now it's worse
She literally is the reason I find it impossible to love myself
I kinda want to just stop eating just to make her feel like shit, to make her regret the "point" she was trying to make.
I know that those aren't the thoughts to have, though.
I wanted to say none when she asked how many hamburgers I wanted.
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
