it's personal discussion
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message 4051:
by
edge
(new)
Nov 29, 2021 05:34AM
i miss my old self
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Lillian wrote: "Well I'm on a lot of cold medication so forgive the typo because my phone won't let me edit comments"loool okay. get well soon lilly. talk to me if you want (sorry if i cant respond quickly tho. but i'll be there as soon as i can)
no im not my mom's a choking manipulative person
yes. when you feel like someone's trying to make you do something you dont wanna do, dont immediately do it. dont do the same mistakes i did
nothing. she just asked me to pay her debts. thats all. no biggie
anyway. my friend just said he didnt wanna lose me. please. ive had enough of this crap to last me a lifetime. im crossing you out, max
my mom is selfish fucking bitch i swear im gonna fucking stab someone right now (probably me)
why is she like this?? fuck me. i so wish i was aborted oml im gonna fucking stab someone
so the max thing. yes. i love him and i love him as a friend and no more than that. if he changes and promises not to leave me then maybe i'll love him more than a friend. it may be possible that he cant deliver and might leave me at some point but im willing to risk being hurt for him. i am dumb. but im a dumb bitch in love.
why do i easily fall in love oml... i am the fluffiest hamster alive
i just fucking poured my heart out to him
a parkour. i went from crossing him out to pouring my heart out to him
ok like. i dont understand him. us. what are we????im like, bitch we're friends. i dont wanna lose you as a friend.
he's like, i dont wanna lose you either. idk what i'd do
???????? are we together? are we friends? i like him, he knows that. he likes me. i know that. but what are we?????????
ok so max and i are a thing now. :)) although im trying not to make the same mistakes i did in my first serious relationship. that means no nudes and no sexting as much as possible. altho this wont really be a problem tho. he's very reserved and stuff. he's a really green flaggy guy but im still being cautious. it's not him, it's me.
and i dont really have high expectations about the both of us cause the last time i did that, i fell so hard from such a great height and it wasnt nice, trust me. i loved griffen so much. we planned a whole fucking future together and to watch that shatter into a million pieces wasnt exactly a lovely feeling.
max is a very great guy. im still on the lookout for red flags tho. 
we're so opposite dude. he's vegan. how am i supposed to live with a cow
Lillian wrote: "Well I messed up that spoiler. Retake. [spoilers removed]"looool
Lillian wrote: "Lol I forgot where this is from but "I licked it so it's mine." [spoilers removed] I give bad advice..."
yes. perfect advice tbh. thank you damn youre so smart its hot
apple bottom jeANS boots with the fuUUr... JESSICA??
and he probably knows that and uses it to fluster me every time
2021 HIGHLIGHTS:- 2nd year in uni
- bought a new laptop using my own money uwu
- downloaded discord and totally changed my internet social life lmao
- broke up with my ex-boyfriend (November)
which is kinda symbolic in a way cause we met on his birthday and went our separate ways somewhere around my birthday.
- met a new guy
- gawd i love him. i love his cat too
yeah thats pretty much it. 2021 was kinda uneventful (except romantically)
anywaysss. max :) he's amazing.
anyway. i felt that ive grown a bit more mature these past few months
prolly cause ive gotten tired of dealing with everyone's and my own shit
i just wanna live alone or with him idk. hes peaceful too. i love that about him. hes not dramatic and he's laid-back (view spoiler). definitely gonna help with my mental health considering all the chaos ive went through my whole life. im just 19 and i really wanna retire in a quiet city or small town with a cat.
honestly, if it werent for my discord friends, i wouldnt have seen what kind of man griffen was. *sigh* all the red flags i chose to ignore cause i loved him, or maybe, i loved the promise of a stable future he can give me.
as if i cant give myself the stable future that i want lmao
Lillian wrote: "You and Max sound so cute"thank you. you and leon too uwu
i am. frustrated and exhausted with my mother. i feel like, shes the source of my problems and i really hate to look at it that way but its only gonna hurt me more if i continue to ignore it.
cats are royalty
Lillian wrote: "Soo cuteeee"all cats are babies
i dont wanna break up with him. but shit. if my plans dont work, im gonna have to. this is gonna stink but i think it would be healthy for the both of us. but its just an if.
idk. the future isnt certain and my plans have LOOPHOLES but knowing me, im probably gonna get what i want if i really want it. unless. its the government stopping me. cant do anything about it anymore then until i get my fucking degree and get a real job.
edge wrote: "and to make it worse, these things won't stop growing and by the time i reach 18, they'd be fucking enormous and my dreams of playing track and field are doomed forever"i am 19 now and your tits actually shrunk i think. it was just you being fat, edge
i know i keep talking about my mom here but she. idk. maybe i was in the wrong but i am holding my tears back rn in the middle of working. this isnt. the first this has happened. one time i actually cried in front of a student while she was shouting at me in the background. and i am so glad he didnt ask any questions.
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
The Queen's Gambit (other topics)The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice (other topics)
Muse of Nightmares (other topics)
Strange the Dreamer (other topics)
The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice (other topics)
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Authors mentioned in this topic
Alexa Riley (other topics)Laini Taylor (other topics)
Veronica Roth (other topics)
Chuck Palahniuk (other topics)
Madeleine Roux (other topics)
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