Pie Quotes

“We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.”
― David Mamet, Boston Marriage

“This shit is easy peasy, pumpkin peasy, pumpkin pie, muthafucka!”
― Gerard Way

“Cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight.”
― Yogi Berra

“The vampire leaned forward, tapping a scimitar claw. "Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork?"
"Yep."
"Is he carrying a moon on his pitchfork?"
"No, it's a pie.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Pies mean Thanksgiving and Christmas and picnics.”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time.
Me (Ilona): ...

~A little later~

Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen*
Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to see these pies. *opening the stove*
Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time.
Kid 1: I know, right?”
― Ilona Andrews

“A cherry pie is . . . ephemeral. From the moment it emerges from the oven it begins a steep decline: from too hot to edible to cold to stale to mouldy, and finally to a post-pie state where only history can tell you that it was once considered food. The pie is a parable of human life.”
― Nick Harkaway, The Gone-Away World

“America has developed a pie tradition unequivocally and unapologetically at the sweet end of the scale, and at no time is this better demonstrated than at Thanksgiving.”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“In his bachelor's heart of hearts, he loved pie with an intensity that alarmed him. Yet, when he was offered seconds, he usually refused. "Wouldn't you like another piece of this nice coconut pie, Father?" he might be asked. "No, I don't believe I'd care for anymore," he'd say. An outright lie!”
― Jan Karon

“We have been careless with our pie repertoire. The demise of apple-pear pie with figs and saffron and orengeado pies are tragic losses.”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“It could be argued that there is an element of entertainment in every pie, as every pie is inherently a surprise by virtue of its crust.”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“The homemade pie has been under siege for a century, and surely its survival is endangered.”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“The First Law of Pies: 'No Pastry, No Pie.”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed).”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“You may receive a pie, eat it and forget. You may receive champagne, drink it and forget. But when you receive a book, you can open it again and again.”
― Israelmore Ayivor, 101 Keys To Everyday Passion

“Now, thats a pie!”
― James May

“Then she bit into the pie.
It was all those tastes she remembered from before. Fatty, doughy flour crust. Cheese. Spices and flavors that spoke of foreign Dry World places. And, she supposed, the overwhelming taste of onion. Green, and not unlike certain seaweeds. But stronger.
The baker just watched her as she chewed and enjoyed.
Ariel stopped. Didn't people eat the things they paid for?
She looked around and saw that no one else was gulping down their treats immediately. There went the old Ariel again. Impulsive.”
― Liz Braswell, Part of Your World: A Twisted Tale

“People I had never seen before flocked in, their faces showing a longing you never saw for cake. People's eyes lit up for a cupcake, cake seemed to signal celebration. But their eyes got filmy, watery, misty when we handed them a slice of pie. Pie was memory. Nostalgia. Pie made people recall simpler, maybe happier times.”
― Judith Fertig, The Memory of Lemon

“Just for the sake of a piece of pie,
Some will speak unkind things about others and tell many lies”
― Charmaine J Forde

“How to uplift others. It’s not a pie, it’s a cake. It’s not a ladder, it’s a bridge.”
― Richie Norton

“Angelina wanted to start them off with a soup, one that would contrast nicely with the veal. She decided on her Mint Sweet Potato Bisque, a wonderful pureed soup, slightly thickened with rice, accented with golden raisins, brightened by fresh mint. And dessert called for pie. This was the first time she was having Johnny and Jerry to the table, and in Jerry's case it was almost a sales pitch, so everything had to be great. She jotted "Pears, black cherries, whole allspice, airplane bottle of Old Overholt Rye" down on her shopping list. The pie would bring it across the finish line.
Tracking down fresh mint and black cherries proved problematic. After four stops and no luck, she ended up taking the bus all the way to the Reading Terminal Market. Compromising on dried mint and canned cherries was out of the question. It worked out well enough in the end because she found what she was looking for and even managed to duck into the Spice Terminal and score whole allspice for the pie, some Spanish saffron (because it was on sale), cardamom pods (impossible to find anywhere else), and mace blades (because she'd never tried them before).”
― Brian O'Reilly, Angelina's Bachelors

“The next day, Angelina was tending a fresh pot of red gravy on the stove. She was going to make Veal Parmigiana for dinner, to be accompanied by pasta, fresh bread, and salad. She left the sauce on low and went to put the finishing touches on the pie she had planned. Earlier, she had made 'a vol-au-vent'- the word means "windblown" in French- a pastry that was as light and feathery as a summer breeze, that Angelina had adapted to serve as a fluffy, delicately crispy pie crust.
The crust had cooled and formed a burnished auburn crown around the rim of the pie plate. She took a bowl of custardy creme anglaise out of the refrigerator and began loading it into a pie-filling gadget that looked like a big plastic syringe. With it, she then injected copious amounts of the glossy creme into the interior of the pie without disturbing the perfect, golden-crusty dome. That done, she heated the chocolate and cream on the stove top to create a chocolate ganache, which she would use as icing on the pie, just to take it completely over the top.”
― Brian O'Reilly, Angelina's Bachelors

“Es war schon lange dunkel. [...] Ein bleicher Mond spazierte über den Hof, Schweigen legte sich auf die umstehenden Häuser. Ich bat Salim, nur noch die letzte Kasette auszuprobieren.
Salim lehnte mit dem Kopf an der Wand, er hatte die Augen geschlossen; auch ich war im Sitzen fast eingeschlafen. Doch diesmal erreichten die Lieder Netanel, denn plötzlich fuhr er hoch und rannte zu seinem Mandarinenbaum, umarmte dessen Stamm und weinte. Wie ein kleines Kind weinte er, nicht wie ein Jugendlicher. Die Klänge ergossen sich in den Hof wie geschmolzene Butter mit Honig. Ein großes Orchester spielte dort, mit Geigen und Cello und allem Drum und Dran.
Salim lehnte sich so weit zurück, dass er den Kopf auf die Stuhllehne legen konnte, und konzentrierte sich auf den Himmel. Wie segenspendender Regen tropften die Klänge auf die Erde. [...]
Diese Kassette hörten wir dann immer wieder. Salim konnte die Texte schon fast auswendig, aber ihre Bedeutung verstand er nicht. [...] In dem einen Lied kam immer wieder das Wort "pie" vor; das musste eine Art Kuchen sein, etwas Gebackenes. Ich kannte es nicht.”
― Daniella Carmi, Lucy im Himmel

“A brand new pie is waiting for me each night after work, as if he knows he hit his stride and he is going to exploit that knowledge. Fudge pie, pumpkin, apple, pecan, chocolate, strawberry, rhubarb, lemon, peach... I go through a week of pies, then two. I dream about our pretty baby, and end up sobbing over Mama every time I take a shower.

Why can't things be right? Like books or movies. Why can't things just ever, once, be right?

That afternoon, I find the pinnacle of pies: a peanut butter Reese's one.

I'm glad I've got a reason for the growing belly. Truthfully, I think it's mostly pie.”
― Ella James, The Plan

“While their mother told Mrs. Bettle and Bett about her trip to France when she was a girl- 'Oh, Champs-Elysées!'- Milly hauled out a bottle of milk from the refrigerator and a sack of dried kidney beans from the pantry. She opened her recipe book, looking for something to make out of the available ingredients: milk, flour, butter, and kidney beans. When she didn't find a recipe, she decided to do what every woman in the country did when she lacked materials: bake a pie. Not every woman would have made a kidney bean pie, though.”
― Rebecca Rasmussen, The Bird Sisters

“Milly went to work on her piecrust. After she'd rolled out the bottom layer and then the top one, she moved on to the kidney beans. She didn't know that the beans had to be soaked in warm water overnight and then cooked for several hours otherwise they'd upset the digestive tract- 'to the point of tears,' Milly would read later in the cookbook. She plucked a sprig of thyme from her herb box on the windowsill and dropped it, along with the beans, into the pie.
'Poor things,' she said to her herbs, stroking their leaves, which were soft as feathers.”
― Rebecca Rasmussen, The Bird Sisters

“The diameter divides into the circumference, you know. It ought to be three times. You'd think so, wouldn't you? But does it? No. Three point one four one and lots of other figures. There's no end to the buggers. Do you know how pissed off that makes me?"
"I expect it makes you extremely pissed off," said Teppic politely.
"Right. It tells me that the Creator used the wrong kind of circles. It's not even a proper number! I mean, three point five, you could respect. Or three point three. That'd look *right*." He stared morosely at the pie.”
― Terry Pratchett, Pyramids

“Pie is the food of the heroic. No pie-eating people can be permanently vanquished.
-May 3, 1902 article in New York Times”
― Dinah Fried, Fictitious Dishes: An Album of Literature's Most Memorable Meals

“Maggie and I were delighted. It was now Jett's turn to go to the dark side. "I've never seen such a bunch of doom cookies," she said, wiping down the tables.
"What?"
"Doom cookies. You know, people who pretend to be something they're not, like girls in my class who pretend to be bad-ass but go home and read The Little House on the Prairie in their Disney princess bedrooms."
"Who were the Pie Night people pretending to be? I don't quite follow."
"They're pretending to be bad-ass pie bakers," Jett trilled in a church-lady falsetto, " 'Oh, leaf lard is the best.' 'No, I swear by a mixture of Crisco and butter.' When was the last time they actually baked a pie? If they did, they wouldn't be gorging themselves here on Pie Night. They probably don't even own a rolling pin." Jett sniffed. And then she added, diplomatically, "But your pie was good.”
― Judith Fertig, The Memory of Lemon

“After going upstairs to visit her father, who had looked vastly pleased with himself and stoutly insisted the mincemeat pie would cause him no troubles whatsoever, Garrett went down to the front receiving room. She sat at the escritoire desk and sorted through correspondence, and picked at the slice of mincemeat pie Eliza had brought her. She could only manage a bite or two. She'd never been fond of sweet-and-savory dishes, and she'd certainly never shared her father's fondness for this one. In her opinion, mincemeat pie was a jumble of ingredients that had never been meant to unite in one crust. It was a heavy, overpowering dish, entirely resistant to digestive enzymes.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Hello Stranger