Pie Quotes

“We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.”
― David Mamet, Boston Marriage

“This shit is easy peasy, pumpkin peasy, pumpkin pie, muthafucka!”
― Gerard Way

“Cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight.”
― Yogi Berra

“The vampire leaned forward, tapping a scimitar claw. "Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork?"
"Yep."
"Is he carrying a moon on his pitchfork?"
"No, it's a pie.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Pies mean Thanksgiving and Christmas and picnics.”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“A cherry pie is . . . ephemeral. From the moment it emerges from the oven it begins a steep decline: from too hot to edible to cold to stale to mouldy, and finally to a post-pie state where only history can tell you that it was once considered food. The pie is a parable of human life.”
― Nick Harkaway, The Gone-Away World

“Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time.
Me (Ilona): ...

~A little later~

Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen*
Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to see these pies. *opening the stove*
Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time.
Kid 1: I know, right?”
― Ilona Andrews

“America has developed a pie tradition unequivocally and unapologetically at the sweet end of the scale, and at no time is this better demonstrated than at Thanksgiving.”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“It could be argued that there is an element of entertainment in every pie, as every pie is inherently a surprise by virtue of its crust.”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“We have been careless with our pie repertoire. The demise of apple-pear pie with figs and saffron and orengeado pies are tragic losses.”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“In his bachelor's heart of hearts, he loved pie with an intensity that alarmed him. Yet, when he was offered seconds, he usually refused. "Wouldn't you like another piece of this nice coconut pie, Father?" he might be asked. "No, I don't believe I'd care for anymore," he'd say. An outright lie!”
― Jan Karon

“The First Law of Pies: 'No Pastry, No Pie.”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed).”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“The homemade pie has been under siege for a century, and surely its survival is endangered.”
― Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

“You may receive a pie, eat it and forget. You may receive champagne, drink it and forget. But when you receive a book, you can open it again and again.”
― Israelmore Ayivor, 101 Keys To Everyday Passion

“Now, thats a pie!”
― James May

“Whoever put steak and kidneys together in a pie made a serious error in judgment. — Nick Snowbeard”
― Cinda Williams Chima, The Warrior Heir

“It's basty!"
"There's definitely a soup underneath the crust. I see carrots. Gingko nuts. Mushrooms. And...
Shark fin! Simmered until it's falling apart!"
Aah! It's all too much! I-I don't care if I burn my mouth...
I want to dive in right now!
Mm! Mmmm!
UWAAAAH!
"Incredible! The shark fin melts into a soft wave of warm umami goodness on the tongue...
...with the crispy piecrust providing a delectably crunchy contrast!"
"Mmm... this piecrust shows all the signs of the swordsmanship he stole from Eishi Tsukasa too."
Instead of melting warm butter to mix into the flour, he grated cold butter into granules and blended them...
... to form small lumps that then became airy layers during the baking, making the crust crispier and lighter. A light, airy crust like that soaks up the broth, making it the perfect complement to this dish!
"Judge Ohizumi, what's that "basty" thing you were talking about?"
"It's a dish in a certain style of cooking that's preserved for centuries in Nagasaki- Shippoku cuisine."
"Shippoku cuisine?"
Centuries ago, when Japan was still closed off from the rest of the world, only the island of Dejima in Nagasaki was permitted to trade with the West. There, a new style of cooking that fused Japanese, Chinese and Western foods was born- Shippoku cuisine! One of its signature dishes is Basty, which is a soup covered with a lattice piecrust.
*It's widely assumed that Basty originated from the Portuguese word "Pasta."*
"Shippoku cuisine is already a hybrid of many vastly different cooking styles, making it a perfect choice for this theme!"
"The lattice piecrust is French. Under it is a wonderfully savory Chinese shark fin soup. And the soup's rich chicken broth and the vegetables in it have all been thoroughly infused with powerfully aromatic spices...
... using distinctively Indian spice blends and techniques!"
"Hm? Wait a minute. There's more than just shark fin and vegetables in this soup.
This looks just like an Italian ravioli! I wonder what's in it?
?!"
"Holy crap, look at it stretch!"
"What is that?! Mozzarella?! A mochi pouch?!"
"Nope! Neither! That's Dondurma. Or as some people call it...
... Turkish ice cream.
A major ingredient in Dondurma is salep, a flour made from the root of certain orchids. It gives the dish a thick, sticky texture.
The moist chewiness of ravioli pasta melds together with the sticky gumminess of the Dondurma...
... making for an addictively thick and chewy texture!”
― Yuto Tsukuda, 食戟のソーマ 35 [Shokugeki no Souma 35]

“David Chang, who had become the darling of the New York restaurant world, thanks to his Momofuku noodle and ssäm bars in the East Village, opened his third outpost, Momofuku Milk Bar, just around the corner from my apartment. While everyone in the city was clamoring for the restaurants' bowls of brisket ramen and platters of pig butt, his pastry chef, Christina Tosi, was cooking up "crack pie," an insane and outrageous addictive concoction made largely of white sugar, brown sugar, and powdered sugar, with egg yolks, heavy cream, and lots of butter, all baked in an oat cookie crust. People were going nuts for the stuff, and it was time for me to give this crack pie a shot. But as soon as I walked into the industrial-style bakery, I knew crack could have nothing on the cookies.
Blueberry and cream. Double chocolate. Peanut butter. Corn. (Yes, a corn cookie, and it was delicious). There was a giant compost cookie, chock-full of pretzels, chips, coffee grounds, butterscotch, oats, and chocolate chips. But the real knockout was the cornflake, marshmallow, and chocolate chip cookie. It was sticky, chewy, and crunchy at once, sweet and chocolaty, the ever-important bottom side rimmed in caramelized beauty. I love rice crisps in my chocolate, but who would have thought that cornflakes in my cookies could also cause such rapture?”
― Amy Thomas, Paris, My Sweet: A Year in the City of Light

“There is the standing prime rib roast, which I salted three days ago and have left uncovered in the extra fridge to dry out. I place the roast in a large Ziploc bag and put it in the bottom of the first rolling cooler, and then the tray of twice-baked potatoes enriched with cream, butter, sour cream, cheddar cheese, bacon bits, and chives, and topped with a combination of more shredded cheese and crispy fried shallots. My coolers have been retrofitted with dowels in the corners so that I can put thin sheets of melamine on them to create a second level of storage; that way items on the bottom don't get crushed. On the top layer of this cooler I placed the tray of stuffed tomatoes, bursting with a filling of tomato pudding, a sweet-and-sour bread pudding made with tomato paste and orange juice and lots of butter and brown sugar, mixed with toasted bread cubes. I add a couple of frozen packs, and close the top.
"That is all looking amazing," Shawn says.
"Why, thank you. Can you grab me that second cooler over there, please?"
He salutes and rolls it over. I pull the creamed spinach out of the fridge, already stored in the slow cooker container, and put it in the bottom of the cooler, and then add three large heads of iceberg lettuce, the tub of homemade ranch dressing and another tub of crispy bacon bits, and a larger tub of popover batter. I made the pie at Lawrence's house yesterday morning before heading to the airport- it was just easier than trying to transport it- and I'll make the whipped cream topping and shower it with shards of shaved chocolate just before serving. I also dropped off three large bags of homemade salt-and-pepper potato chips, figuring that Lawrence can't eat all of them in one day and that there will hopefully be at least two bags still there when we arrive. Lawrence insisted that he would pick up the oysters himself.”
― Stacey Ballis, How to Change a Life

“Hot Pie yelled hot pie. He must have yelled it a hundred times.”
― George R.R. Martin

“I don’t know. Let me think. Do I want pie? Am I even hungry? Oh, this is a hard decision. Maybe I should call the DUH, YES, I LOVE PIE ASSOCIATION.”
― Cindy Callaghan, Lost in London

“The nuns were not the only ones to take an interest in French-Canadian cooking that fall. It was a November evening, a little before the first snow. With both her parents out, Madeleine opened the can of maple syrup she had stolen from the Damours grocery store. The maple syrup pie recipe was quite straightforward. Just five ingredients. But Madeleine prepared it with all the care and attention to detail that the Japanese take in making sushi. She worked in religious silence, without making a mess, without spilling flour. The sweet aroma of maple syrup soon floated over the kitchen, then the living room, as the syrup boiled with the heavy cream. A smell delectable enough to wake the dead, to make them wish they were still alive. Madeleine washed the utensils as she went, leaving no trace behind. Once the pie was in the oven, its aroma gained in strength and substance.”
― Éric Dupont, The American Fiancée

“When it is pleasant enough – or at minimum if remaining yet hopeful – one's unfolding fate might be received as effortlessly as a slice of freshly baked Dutch apple pie just prior to nibbling upon its point. If you did not know it, it is the one crowned with streusel – a crumbly topping of flour, butter, brown sugar and cinnamon – all offsetting an underlayer of relatively crisp, tart apple slices; rather than the simple pastry lid which lies atop a sweeter variety.

An encounter with a previously unthinkable misfortune is quite another matter.

Despite the inherent foresight that each of us possess regarding the inevitable calamities awaiting every passage along life's journey, the willingness to cherish a destiny in its totality across one’s lifetime not only necessitates the wisdom of reflection but even then, acquiring the foolishness to trust an incomprehensible unknown.

This may begin with the simple acknowledgment that rats are far better swimmers than nearly any child and a significantly higher number of the latter than you’d surely wish to recognize have suffered the very same misery which befell Hamelin’s rodents in the later sanitized adaptations of the reportedly based-upon-fact piper legend.”
― Monte Souder (Rat Luck)

“A pound of butter and Lord knows how much sugar later, my head was clear, my spirit was calm, and I had a delicious calamansi-ginger pie cooling on the counter. I twisted shut the lid of the jar I'd filled with the excess calamansi-ginger curd and sighed in satisfaction. Now this was bliss.
The sweetness of the coconut shortbread crust scented the air, interspersed with the zest of citrus and zing of ginger. If I could bottle this scent, I'd wear it forever.”
― Mia P. Manansala, Arsenic and Adobo

“I've never known anyone with the capacity for sugar that Adeena has. She'd demolished her waffles, which she'd drowned in syrup, and then ordered a slice of triple chocolate tuxedo pie, another sugar bomb. If I ate the way she'd did, I'd have lost a foot to diabetes by now.
Martha slid our desserts in front of us, and Adeena and I hummed in appreciation after taking our first bites. The lemon icebox cake was cold and creamy, with a background sweetness and a whole lot of tang. As I often did when sampling delicious desserts, I tried to deconstruct what was in it.
Graham crackers, cream cheese, whipped cream, and a ton of lemon curd seemed to be the basis of the recipe. Similar to the ginger calamansi pie I'd made, but simpler and no-bake, if I decided to buy the graham crackers instead of making my own. Definitely worth experimenting with, as I had a jar of calamansi curd tucked away in the fridge just begging to be used. I made a note on my phone later, maybe as a summer offering.
As per usual when eating out, Adeena and I swapped plates so we could taste each other's desserts.
"What do you think, girls?"
I grinned at Martha. "Delicious. I love how the lemon cake is sweet and tangy, but you don't go too far in either direction."
Adeena added, "It's the perfect counterpoint to my chocolate pie, which is divine, by the way. Rich, creamy, and so satisfying.”
― Mia P. Manansala, Arsenic and Adobo

“When you do not know how to make money in a particular space, hand it out to experts, you will still ‘Own Your Piece Of The Pie”
― Sandeep Sahajpal, The Twelfth Preamble: To all the authors to be!

“And for a Quay thief, there was only one place to go to learn anything about anything: Ad and Tad’s pie shop.”
― Carrie Ryan, The Map to Everywhere

“no one evaded the pie shop pirates for long.”
― Carrie Ryan, The Map to Everywhere

“I require pie before I desecrate a mass grave.”
― Sarah Beth Durst, The Bone Maker