Defensiveness Quotes

Quotes tagged as "defensiveness" (showing 1-30 of 42)
Anthony Kiedis
“I stopped hating and started just being. My whole life, I had been the most defensive person you'd meet, unable to tolerate any criticism. But now I started listening and being.”
Anthony Kiedis, Scar Tissue

Melanie Joy
“Often, vegan advocates assume that a person's defensiveness is the result of selfishness or apathy, when in fact it is much more likely the result of systematic and intensive social conditioning.”
Melanie Joy, Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs, and Wear Cows: An Introduction to Carnism: The Belief System That Enables Us to Eat Some Animals and Not Others

Christopher Hitchens
“It's often a bad sign when people defend themselves against charges which haven't been made.”
Christopher Hitchens, Christopher Hitchens and His Critics: Terror, Iraq, and the Left

N.K. Jemisin
“This is why she hates Alabaster: not because he is more powerful, not even because he is crazy, but because he refuses to allow her any of the polite fictions and unspoken truths that have kept her comfortable, and safe, for years.”
N.K. Jemisin, The Fifth Season

Elizabeth Gilbert
“So whenever that brittle voice of dissatisfaction emerges within me, I can say "Ah, my ego! There you are, old friend!" It's the same thing when I'm being criticized and I notice myself reaching with outrage, heartache, or defensiveness. It's just my ego, flaring up and testing its power. In such circumstances, I have learned to watch my heated emotions carefully, but I try not to take them too seriously, because I know that it's merely my ego that has been wounded--never my soul It is merely my ego that wants revenge, or to win the biggest prize. It is merely my ego that wants to start a Twitter war against a hater, or to sulk at an insult or to quit in righteous indignation because I didn't get the outcome I wanted.

"At such times, I can always steady my life one more by returning to my soul. I ask it, "And what is it that you want, dear one?"

"The answer is always the same: "More wonder, please."

"As long as I'm still moving in that direction---toward wonder--then I know I will always be fine in my soul, which is where it counts. And since creativity is still the most effective way for me to access wonder, I choose it.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

Rainer Maria Rilke
“Why should you want to give up a child's wise not-understanding in exchange for defensiveness and scorn, since not-understanding is, after all, a way of being alone, whereas defensiveness and scorn are a participation in precisely what, by these means, you want to separate yourself from.”
Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Amit Kalantri
“Love' is the only weapon I have, I will defend with love, I will attack with love.”
Amit Kalantri

Coco J. Ginger
“Defend myself? I cannot defend the verbal repressions of a boy. A curmudgeonly, cantankerous, ill-tempered, counterfeit boy.”
Jamie Weise

Amit Ray
“You don't need to play every ball but every ball needs your judgement.”
Amit Ray, Enlightenment Step by Step

Henry Cloud
“We often hear of someone saying, ‘So you don’t trust me’ or ‘Are you questioning my integrity?’ or ‘You don’t believe me.’ They get defensive and angry because someone questions their actions, and they think they are above being questioned or having to prove their trustworthiness. But none of us is above questioning.”
Henry Cloud, Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

Albert J. Bernstein
“Don't let a Narcissist, or any other kind of vampire, get away with nonverbal disapproval. Unspoken communication has much more power than mere words because it is ambiguous. If a Narcissist says you did something wrong, you can at least disagree. If he only hints at it, you are left wondering if what you're seeing really means what you think it does, or if the whole thing is somehow your fault, or whatever else you might be imagining. ... Translate rather than pointing the finger. This is the tricky part because it is subtle, but it will make all the difference. An unsubstantiated accusation of an internal state, like, "You're bored," invites defensiveness. A translation, like, "You keep looking at the clock; I'm assuming you're bored," is much harder to deny. A Histrionic might try, but other kinds of vampires will have to concede that they are indeed looking at the clock.”
Albert J. Bernstein, Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry

Charles Haddon Spurgeon
“It would be better to be deceived a hundred times than to live a life of suspicion.”
Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Lectures to My Students

“In the name of "force protection," the military often rolls up windows, builds walls, and points rifles at the outside world. The best force protection, however, is to be surrounded by friends and allies.”
Eric Greitens, The Heart and the Fist: The Education of a Humanitarian, the Making of a Navy SEAL

“Professing not to care is a primordial defense mechanism. Whenever a person finds oneself mired in failure and despondency, rebelling is a viable option to preserve false personal pride.”
Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

Stephen W. Porges
“To switch effectively from defense to social engagement strategies, the nervous system must do two things: (1) assess risk, and (2) if the environment looks safe, inhibit the primitive defensive reactions to fight, flight or freeze.”
Stephen W. Porges, The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation

Jay Woodman
“I'm a fallible human being - but if I were to react to that knowledge with fear/defensiveness then how would I move forward?”
Jay Woodman

Peggy Natiello
“Criticism of the traditional male role is often mistaken for criticism of men themselves. When this happens, men understandably become defensive, push away any discussion of gender, and are unable to hear women's appeals for change. Any gender-role discussion quickly becomes a women's problem, and the issue is repressed by men who fell unjustly accused, and by women who are afraid of men's disapproval and anger.”
Peggy Natiello, Experiences in Relatedness: Groupwork and the Person-Centred Approach

Stephen W. Porges
“The detection of a person as safe or dangerous triggers neurobiologically determined pro-social or defensive behaviors.
Even though we may not always be aware of danger on a cognitive level, on a neurophysiological level, our body has already started a sequence of neural processes that would facilitate adaptive defense behaviors such as fight, flight or freeze. ”
Stephen W. Porges, The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation

“The ego with its protective defense mechanisms is the biggest impediment to attaining spiritual growth.”
Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

“People must have dignity and identity. If they can't do it peacefully, they will do it defensively.”
Joseph Tirella, Tomorrow-Land: The 1964-65 World's Fair and the Transformation of America

Stephen M. Irwin
“Laine had been very proud of herself last night. Nicholas had talked about ghosts and magic and woven a bit of a spell himself. He'd sounded so convincing, so logical, so sad, that she'd found herself wanting to believe him. But testing prods at his argument had made him angry, and long years with Gavin had taught her that angry, defensive people shared the lousy habit of being wrong.”
Stephen M. Irwin

Geraldine Brooks
“As wars dwindled to skirmishes and our strength grew, so David was able to spend less time with military commanders and more with the engineers and overseers who were fanning out throughout the land, digging cisterns, making roads, fortifying, connecting, and generally making a nation out of our scattered people.”
Geraldine Brooks, The Secret Chord

“The writer as boxer says he develops by, "learning from everyone who'll spar with me.”
Davis Miller, Approaching Ali: A Reclamation in Three Acts

Russell D. Moore
“The culture around us knows what it means when they see a church in perpetual bluster and outrage. They know that we are scared.”
Russell D. Moore, Onward: Engaging the Culture without Losing the Gospel

“A person lives a false life whenever they are afraid to make contact with his or her authentic self. A sensitive ego – one that protects a person from pain – can also prevent a person from maturing mentally and emotionally by causing a person to distort truths and refuse to admit unpleasant facts.”
Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

George F. Will
“Lacking an articulable defense of the cultural values under siege, he became a vessel of smoldering animosities.”
George F. Will, The Woven Figure: Conservatism and America's Fabric

“We as ambitious human beings can maintain self respect by influencing ourselves to behave as civil human beings and focus on our long term goals by not allowing others to take advantage of our lives.”
Saaif Alam

Stephen L. Carter
“She had been carried away by the need to defend herself.”
Stephen L. Carter, The Impeachment of Abraham Lincoln

David Halberstam
“Nixon under pressure turned only to reporters from publications already favorable to him; Kennedy, in trouble, turned to those most critical and dubious of him, and if anything tended to take those already for him a bit for granted.”
David Halberstam, The Powers That Be

“Once you being defensive in your answer. Just know there is the truth in the question you have been asked, or there is truth in what they are saying to you.”
De philosopher DJ Kyos

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