Attachment Styles Quotes

“Each of our parents and others close to us offer their unique version of attachment, so while we have four categories to give us a general outline of what may occur, we will find that each person's expression of each style is as individual as a fingerprint.”
― Bonnie Badenoch, The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships

“When we consider our rich inner communities, we will find it is quite possible that more than one pattern of attachment can arise at the same time, sometimes in support of the others and sometimes in conflict.”
― Bonnie Badenoch, The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships

“For most of us, there are multiple attachment experiences, and picturing these pairings of the connections offered by others and the adaptions made by us may illuminate the complexities of current relational experience.”
― Bonnie Badenoch, The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships

“Rabih axiously attacks; Kirsten avoidandly withdraws. They are two people who need one another badly and yet are simultaneously terrified of letting on just how much they do so. Neither stays with an injury long enough truly to acknowledge or feel it, or to explain it to the person who inflicted it. It takes reserves of confidence they don't possess to keep faith with the one who has offended them. They would need to trust the other sufficiently to make it clear that they aren't really "angry" or "cold" but are instead, and always, something far more basic, touching and deserving of affection: hurt. They cannot offer each other that most romantically necessary of gifts: a guide to their own vulnerabilities.”
― Alain de Botton, The Course of Love

“What nobody tells you about building a home inside yourself is that it requires you to grieve every version of yourself that believed she needed rescuing. She was not wrong to want it. She was working with what she had. But rescue is temporary. It depends on the rescuer remaining, and they never do.”
― Charlotte Eriksson

“I know women who have arranged their entire nervous systems around another person. The watching. The calibrating. The endless translation of someone else's mood into information about their own worth.”
― Charlotte Eriksson