Healthy Relationships Quotes

Quotes tagged as "healthy-relationships" (showing 1-30 of 36)
“In a healthy relationship, vulnerability is wonderful. It leads to increased intimacy and closer bonds. When a healthy person realizes that he or she hurt you, they feel remorse and they make amends. It’s safe to be honest. In an abusive system, vulnerability is dangerous. It’s considered a weakness, which acts as an invitation for more mistreatment. Abusive people feel a surge of power when they discover a weakness. They exploit it, using it to gain more power. Crying or complaining confirms that they’ve poked you in the right spot.”
Christina Enevoldsen, The Rescued Soul: The Writing Journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal

Judith Lewis Herman
“Recovery can take place only within then context of relationships; it cannot occur in isolation.”
Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

Judith Lewis Herman
“Recovery can take place only within then context of relationships; it cannot occur in isolation. In her renewed connection with other people, the survivor re-creates the psychological facilities that were damaged or deformed by the traumatic experience. These faculties include the basic operations of trust, autonomy, initiative, competence, identity, and intimacy.

Just as these capabilities are formed in relationships with other people, they must be reformed in such relationships.

The first principle of recovery is empowerment of the survivor. She must be the author and arbiter of her own recovery. Others may offer advice, support, assistance, affection, and care, but not cure.

Many benevolent and well-intentioned attempts to assist the survivor founder because this basic principle of empowerment is not observed. No intervention that takes power away from the survivor can possibly foster her recovery, no matter how much it appears to be in her immediate best interest.”
Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

Henry Cloud
“This is one of the marks of a truly safe person: they are confrontable.”
Henry Cloud, Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

John Mark Green
“As you remove toxic people from your life, you free up space and emotional energy for positive, healthy relationships.”
John Mark Green

“When you notice someone does something toxic the first time, don't wait for the second time before you address it or cut them off.

Many survivors are used to the "wait and see" tactic which only leaves them vulnerable to a second attack. As your boundaries get stronger, the wait time gets shorter. You never have justify your intuition.”
Shahida Arabi

“Fear of breaking family loyalty is one of the greatest stumbling blockages to recovery. Yet, until we admit certain things we would rather excuse or deny, we cannot truly begin to put the past in the past, and leave it there once and for all. Unless we do that, we cannot even begin to think of having a future that is fully ours, untethered to the past, and we will be destined to repeat it.”
Ronald Allen Schulz

Bronnie Ware
“... to be in any sort of relationship where you do not express yourself, simply to keep the peace, is a relationship ruled by one person and will never be balanced or healthy.”
Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing

Henry Cloud
“Denial of one's need for others is the most common type of defense against bonding. If people come from a situation, whether growing up or later in life, where good, safe relationships were not available to them, they learn to deny that they even want them. Why want what you can't have? They slowly get rid of their awareness of the need.”
Henry Cloud, Changes That Heal

Henry Cloud
“Many people will not be honest because they fear loss of intimacy and togetherness. In reality, honesty brings people closer together, for it will strengthen their identities. The more you realize your separate identities, the closer you can become. Telling loved ones what is really on your mind and telling others what you really think is the foundation of love.”
Henry Cloud, Changes That Heal

Danny Silk
“make an agreement to exercise mutual control over each other. The unspoken pact between them is, “It’s my job to make you happy, and your job to make me happy. And the best way to get you to work on my life is to act miserable. The more miserable I am, the more you will have to try to make me feel better.” Powerless people use various tactics, such as getting upset, withdrawing, nagging, ridiculing, pouting, crying, or getting angry, to pressure, manipulate, and punish one another into keeping this pact. However, this ongoing power play does nothing to make them happy and mitigate their anxiety in the long term. In fact, their anxiety only escalates by continually affirming that they are not actually powerful. Any sense of love and safety they feel by gaining or surrendering control is tenuous and fleeting. A relational bond built on mutual control simply cannot produce anything remotely like safety, love, or trust. It can only produce more fear, pain, distrust, punishment, and misery. And when taken to an extreme, it produces things like domestic violence.”
Danny Silk, Keep Your Love On: Connection Communication And Boundaries

Henry Cloud
“Sometimes, we have bad on the inside and good on the outside. In these instances, we need to be able to open up our boundaries to let the good in and the bad out. In other words, our fences need gates in them.”
Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

R.Y.S. Perez
“I have to remember it is not love that has hurt me; but someone who could not love me in the right way.”
R.Y.S. Perez, I Hope You Fall in Love: Poetry Collection

Henry Cloud
“Even with the desire for a better life, we can be reluctant to do the work of boundaries because it will be a war. The battle falls into two categories: outside resistance we get from others and the resistance we get from ourselves.”
Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

Abhijit Naskar
“Imagine yourself having a fight with your romantic partner. The tension of the situation makes your limbic system run at full throttle and you become flooded with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenalin. The high levels of these chemicals suddenly make you so damn angry, that you burst out in front of your partner saying, “I wish you die, so that I can have some peace in my life”. Given the stress of the situation through highly active limbic system, your PFC loses its freedom to take the right decision and you burst out with foul language in front of your partner, that may ruin your relationship. In simple terms due to your mental instability, you lost your free will to make the right decision.
But when the conversation is over, and you relax for a while, your stress hormone levels come down to normal, and you regain your usual cheerful state of mind. Immediately, your PFC starts analyzing the explosive conversation you had with your partner. Healthy activity of the entire frontal lobes, especially the PFC suddenly overwhelms you with a feeling of guilt. Your brain makes you realize, that you have done something devilish. As a result, now you find yourself making the willful decision of apologizing to your partner and making up to him or her, no matter how much effort it takes, because your PFC comes up the solution that it is the healthiest thing to do for your personal life.
From this you can see, that what you call free will is something that is not consistent. It changes based on your mental health. Mental instability or illness, truly cripples your free will. And the healthier your frontal lobes are, the better you can take good decisions. And the most effective way to keep your frontal lobes healthy is to practice some kind of meditation.”
Abhijit Naskar, What is Mind?

“Some survivors can be wary of most people, yet blinded by compassion toward fellow survivors or others who suffer — or who pretend to suffer, or exaggerate their sufferings, in order to take advantage of the survivor. Some survivors overidentify with other survivors, not realizing that even if someone was traumatized or suffers in a similar way, it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is honest. Being either overly suspicious or overly trusting can create problems with a partner who is able to judge the sincerity of others more realistically.”
Aphrodite Matsakis, Loving Someone with PTSD: A Practical Guide to Understanding and Connecting with Your Partner after Trauma

Linda Alfiori
“Your thoughts and intentions have a mirroring power, make sure they are always kind and loving.”
Linda Alfiori, The Art of Loving Intelligently:Discover the Five Love Myths Hurting Women in America

Linda Alfiori
“SOULMATES MAY BE OPPOSITES, BUT THEY HAVE SIMILAR LEVELS OF: SPIRITUALITY, CORE VALUES, MATURITY AND COMPLEMENTARY NEEDS”
Linda Alfiori, The Art of Loving Intelligently:Discover the Five Love Myths Hurting Women in America

Rosamund Hodge
“Perhaps for him there's a way to love that's sane and happy, that isn't cruel.”
Rosamund Hodge, Gilded Ashes

Maureen  Brady
“I am building a healthy support system and learning to use it readily.”
Maureen Brady, Daybreak: Meditations For Women Survivors Of Sexual Abuse

Azelene Williams
“Life is full of challenges. In the end it's getting up that pulls us through the dark day's. So that we can admire the sunset”
Azelene Williams, Broken Breaking the Silence

Jane Green
“...good relationships are based on kindness. On putting the person you love before yourself. On thinking of what you can do to make that person happy. Good relationships require kindness, commitment, and appreciation”
Jane Green, Falling

Jane Green
“I think the greatest gifts we can give each other in a relationship are the gifts of kindness and communication.”
Jane Green, Falling

Linda Alfiori
“As long as you leave to others the responsibility to make you happy, you will always be miserable, because that is actually your job”
Linda Alfiori, The Art of Loving Intelligently:Discover the Five Love Myths Hurting Women in America

Sharon Salzberg
“We nurture our sense of connection with the larger whole, noticing that the whole is only as healthy as its smallest part.”
Sharon Salzberg, Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection

Sharon Salzberg
“Real forgiveness in close relationships is never easy. It can’t be rushed or engineered.”
Sharon Salzberg, Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection

Lailah Gifty Akita
“Love life, keep fit.”
Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind

“If the only thing that you have to offer in a relationship or marriage is your physical appearance, then you are definitely walking on a very thin line. It takes more than physical beauty to sustain a healthy relationship or marriage.”
Edmond Mbiaka

Farshad Asl
“Money gives you options,
Hard work gives you success,
Healthy relationships give you a long life,
But faith gives you everything!”
Farshad Asl

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