Bruce > Bruce's Quotes

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

“I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.”
― Jimi Hendrix, The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Axis: Bold as Love | Guitar TAB Sheet Music Collection | Note-for-Note Transcriptions for Electric Guitar Players | Classic Psychedelic Rock Solos

“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.”
― Isaac Asimov

“I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy.”
― Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

“There are no good girls gone wrong - just bad girls found out.”
― Mae West

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
― Mark Twain

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

“Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.”
― Albert Schweitzer

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”
― Marcus Aurelius , Meditations

“To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

“Don't Gain The World & Lose Your Soul, Wisdom Is Better Than Silver Or Gold.”
― Bob Marley

“Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8 color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64 color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64 color box, though I've got a few missing. It's okay though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8 color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation. So when I meet someone who's an 8 color type...I'm like, hey girl, Magenta! and she's like, oh, you mean purple! and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, no I want Magenta!”
― John Mayer

“Dispute not with her: she is lunatic.”
― William Shakespeare, Richard III

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”
― Albert Einstein

“Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
― Benjamin Franklin

“Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

“The means of defence agst. foreign danger, have been always the instruments of tyranny at home.”
― James Madison

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
― Benjamin Franklin Wade

“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
― Robin Williams

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.”
― Thomas Jefferson

“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.”
― Bill Cosby

“The earth has its music for those who will listen”
― Reginald Vincent Holmes, Fireside Fancies

“I like this place and could willingly waste my time in it.”
― William Shakespeare

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”
― Mark Twain

“I sincerely believe that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies, and that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding, is but swindling futurity on a large scale.”
― Thomas Jefferson

“I'm completely in favor of the
separation of Church and State.
... These two institutions screw us up enough
on their own, so both of them together is
certain death.”
― George Carlin