Jackie -Sated Faery > Jackie's Quotes

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#1

“If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you really are.”
― H.N. Turteltaub, The Sacred Land

tags: misattributed-cassandra-clare, misattributed-jace

10627 likes

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#2

“Oh, bleep.”
― Kiersten White, Paranormalcy

tags: epithet

324 likes

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#3

“That is the manner in which I roll.”
― Claudia Gray

tags: claudia-gray, evernight, ranulf

13 likes

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#4

“When you have lost hope, you have lost everything. And when you think all is lost, when all is dire and bleak, there is always hope.”
― Pittacus Lore, I Am Number Four

tags: hope

2699 likes

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#5

“What about Myrnin?'
Eve swallowed, almost choked, and Michael patted her kindly on the back. She beamed at him. 'Myrnin? Oh yeah. He did a Batman and took off into the night. What is with that guy, Claire? If he was a superhero, he'd be Bipolar Man.”
― Rachel Caine, Lord of Misrule

tags: ever, michael, morganville-vampires, myrnin

333 likes

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#6

“I am a man" he told her, "and men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone woman, and bring me something brown.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

tags: brown, city-of-glass, clare, isabelle, jace

6989 likes

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#7

“Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.
Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.
Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.
Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

tags: harry-potter, humor, james-potter, remus-lupin, sirius-black, snape, wormtail

10335 likes

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#8

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

tags: mischief

37361 likes

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#9

“Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you’d get dressed up in a nurse’s outfit and give me a sponge bath?" asked Jace.
"It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath."
"As soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome," said Simon.
"I knew we should have left you a rat.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: bath, clary-fray, humor, jace-wayland, simon-lewis

8191 likes

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#10

“I decided right then and there to make a snickerdoodle perfume to wear, so that one day he would sniff me like that.”
― Jessica Verday, The Hollow

tags: humorous

97 likes

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#11

“Well, I’m not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I’d rather stay down here and rot."
"Forever?" said Simon. "Forever’s an awfully long time."
Jace raised his eyebrows. "I knew it," he said. "You want to kiss me, don’t you?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: humor, jace-wayland, simon-lewis

7277 likes

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#12

“I’d said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass.”
― Richelle Mead, Blood Promise

tags: dimitri, humor, paranormal-romance, rose, urban-fantasy, vampire, young-adult-novels

4921 likes

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#13

“I am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass.”
― Cassandra Clare

tags: simon

5566 likes

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#14

“If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

tags: charles-bayard-mitchell

101692 likes

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#15

“Bishop was all done with the witty conversation. 'Will you swear?'

And Myrnin said, shockingly, 'I will.' And he proceeded to, a string of swearwords that made Claire blink. He ended with, '—frothy fool-born apple-john! Cheater of vandals and defiler of dead dogs!' and did another twirl and bow. He looked up with a red, red grin that was more like a leer. 'Is that what you meant, my lord?”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

tags: bishop, claire-danvers, humor, myrnin

270 likes

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#16

“I'm worried he's going to...do something crazy."
"He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny and occasionally eats his assistants," Eve said. "Define crazy."
Claire closed her eyes. "Okay. I think he wants to put my brain in a jar and wire it into the machine."
Dead silence.”
― Rachel Caine, Ghost Town

tags: claire-danvers, eve-rosser, myrnin

249 likes

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#17

“I'm gonna kill him," Eve said, or at least that was what it sounded like filtered through the pillow.
Stake him right in the heart, shove garlic up his ass, and-and-"

And what?" (Michael)

When did you get home?" Claire demanded.

Apparently just in time to hear my funeral plans. I especially like the garlic up the ass. It's...different.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

tags: death, humor, vampires

1051 likes

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#18

“You. O Positive. How many exits?"
"What?...Oh shit, did you just call me by my bloodtype?”
― Rachel Caine, The Dead Girls' Dance

tags: nicknames, sobriquet

518 likes

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#19

“That's brain tissue. How can you-?" Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna know."

"Truly, I think that's best. Please take it." He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind."

"I so wish you hadn't said that.”
― Rachel Caine, Feast of Fools

tags: gross, humor, vampires

392 likes

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#20

“Another thing I don't want on my tombstone," Shane said.

You have others?" Claire asked.

He held up one finger. "I thought it wasn't loaded," Shane said. Second finger. "Hand me a match so I can check the gas tank." Third finger. "Killed over ice cream. Basically, any death that requires me to be stupid first.”
― Rachel Caine, Kiss of Death

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#21

“Claire: So we do nothing?
Michael: We do the best nothing you've ever seen.”
― Rachel Caine, The Dead Girls' Dance

292 likes

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#22

“Eve: She told me last!
Shane: Boyfriend!
Michael: Landlord!
Eve: Crap. Right. Next time you sell your soul to the devil, I get first contact!”
― Rachel Caine, Midnight Alley

tags: claire-danvers, eve-rosser, michael-glass, morganville-vampires

436 likes

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#23

“Silence, and then Eve said, "Okay, that was extra creepy, with whipped creepy topping. And this is me, changing my mind.”
― Rachel Caine, Lord of Misrule

tags: eve-rosser, morganville-vampires

118 likes

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#24

“If you ask me if I'm okay again, I'm going to smack myself in the face just to punish you.”
― Rachel Caine, Midnight Alley

tags: morganville-vampires, shane-collins

368 likes

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#25

“Investigation?" Isabelle laughed. "Now we're detectives? Maybe we should all have code names."
"Good idea," said Jace. "I shall be Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: humor, investigation, isabelle-lightwood, jace-wayland, joke

4793 likes

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#26

“I hear your insults and plan to silence them with my victory.”
― Claudia Gray, Stargazer

tags: book, humor

120 likes

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#27

“Bleep stupid bleep bleep faeries and their bleep bleep bleep obsessions. He had better stop bleep bleep bleep the bleep bleep rules or I will bleep bleep bleep the little bleeeeeeep.” All in a completely robotic monotone.”
― Kiersten White, Paranormalcy

tags: lish

125 likes

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#28

“If you fail to report within the next 12 hours. you will be terminated. If you attack any humans, you will be terminated. If you attempt to remove the tracking device, you will be terminated. We look forward to working with you.”
― Kiersten White, Paranormalcy

194 likes

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#29

“Tasers are a one-size-fits-all paranormal butt-kicking option. Mine’s pink with
rhinestones.”
― Kiersten White, Paranormalcy

247 likes

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#30

“What do you think? Does this face make me look fat?”
― Kiersten White, Paranormalcy

tags: funny

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