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Megan Campbell > Megan's Quotes

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  • #1
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, Mostly Sally
    tags: brains, marriage
    2124 likes

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  • #2
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse
    tags: classic-insult, humor, intelligence, people, stupidity
    944 likes

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  • #3
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
    "The mood will pass, sir.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, The Code of the Woosters
    tags: appearance, bad-mood, clothes, dejection, humor
    736 likes

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  • #4
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse , Uneasy Money
    tags: adeptness, dexterity, men, poise, superiority, women
    568 likes

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  • #5
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse
    tags: disappointment, expression, face, life, satire
    651 likes

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  • #6
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse
    484 likes

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  • #7
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse , The Best of Wodehouse: An Anthology
    tags: disappointment, humor, moroseness, russia, satire, sorrow, tolstoy
    484 likes

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  • #8
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when". ”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse
    438 likes

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  • #9
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
    tags: depression, humor, melancholy, wit
    423 likes

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  • #10
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “I always advise people never to give advice.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse
    tags: advice
    430 likes

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  • #11
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, Love Among the Chickens
    tags: humor, selfishness
    398 likes

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  • #12
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse , Mike and Psmith
    tags: humor, misfortune, sombre-mood
    269 likes

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  • #13
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse
    236 likes

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  • #14
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “If he had a mind, there was something on it.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse
    184 likes

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  • #15
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, Carry On, Jeeves
    tags: humor, nietzsche
    204 likes

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  • #16
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse
    tags: dismissal, life, writing
    129 likes

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  • #17
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, Something Fresh
    192 likes

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  • #18
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “I hadn't the heart to touch my breakfast. I told Jeeves to drink it himself.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse
    144 likes

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  • #19
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse
    117 likes

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  • #20
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, Jeeves in the Morning
    tags: iron-will
    137 likes

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  • #21
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, Jeeves in the Morning
    tags: doubt, hamlet, hesitation, humor, jeeves, shakespeare
    150 likes

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  • #22
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, Carry On, Jeeves
    tags: humor, new-york-city, temptation
    128 likes

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  • #23
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his head first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate. All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains. What good are brains to a man? They only unsettle him.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, Doctor Sally
    100 likes

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  • #24
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, The Adventures of Sally
    tags: humor, misery, moroseness, subconscious
    98 likes

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  • #25
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and colours scrapping in the middle of the room, and then they all shot past me with a rush and out of the front door; and all that was left of the mobscene was the head of a whacking big fish, lying on the carpet and staring up at me in a rather austere sort of way, as if it wanted a written explanation and apology.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, A Wodehouse Bestiary
    tags: cats, fish, humor
    85 likes

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  • #26
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse
    84 likes

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  • #27
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, Carry On, Jeeves
    tags: humor
    113 likes

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  • #28
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to speak French.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, The Luck of the Bodkins
    tags: communication, englishmen, french, humor, languages
    103 likes

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  • #29
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad -- who says that it's always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, My Man Jeeves
    tags: humor, insightful, the-unexpected
    98 likes

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  • #30
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled, sozzled, and blotto.”
    ― P.G. Wodehouse, Meet Mr. Mulliner
    tags: drunkenness, synonyms
    73 likes



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Tags From Megan’s Quotes

brains
marriage
classic-insult
humor
intelligence
people
stupidity
appearance
bad-mood
clothes
dejection
adeptness
dexterity
men
poise
superiority
women
disappointment
expression
face
life
satire
moroseness
russia
sorrow
tolstoy
depression
melancholy
wit
advice
selfishness
misfortune
sombre-mood
nietzsche
dismissal
writing
iron-will
doubt
hamlet
hesitation
jeeves
shakespeare
new-york-city
temptation
misery
subconscious
cats
fish
communication
englishmen
french
languages
insightful
the-unexpected
drunkenness
synonyms