The Man Upstairs and Other Stories Quotes

“It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories

“A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories

“To persons of spirit like ourselves the only happy marriage is that which is based on a firm foundation of almost incessant quarrelling.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories

“This is the age of the specialist, and years ago Rollo had settled on his career. Even as a boy, hardly capable of connected thought, he had been convinced that his speciality, the one thing he could do really well, was to inherit money.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories

“It was a half-grown puppy with long legs and a long tail, belonging to no one species, but generously distributing itself among about six.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories: P. G. Wodehouse's Humorous Tales

“He was a long, slender youth, with green eyes, jet-black hair, and a passionate fondness for the sound of his own voice.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories

“Few things are more difficult in this world for a young man than the securing of an introduction to the right girl under just the right conditions.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories: P. G. Wodehouse's Humorous Tales

“Come in!’ cried the voice, rather a pleasant voice; but what is a pleasant voice if the soul be vile?”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories: P. G. Wodehouse's Humorous Tales

“the hand that counteth its chickens ere they be hatched oft-times doth but step on the banana-skin.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories

“Once upon a time there was erected in Longacre Square, New York, a large white statue, labelled 'Our City', the figure of a woman in Grecian robes holding aloft a shield. Critical citizens objected to it for various reasons, but its real fault was that its symbolism was faulty. The sculptor should have represented New York as a conjuror in evening dress, smiling blandly as he changed a rabbit into a bowl of goldfish. For that, above all else, is New York's speciality. It changes. Between 1 May, when she stepped off the train, and 16 May, when she received Eddy Moore's letter containing the information that he had found her a post as stenographer”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories

“Once, soon after his arrival in London, he had allowed a dangerous fanatic to persuade him that the secret of health was to go without breakfast.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories

“It is possible, too, that, being there, you decided that you might as well go the whole hog and be manicured at the same time. It is not unlikely, moreover, that when you had got over the first shock of finding your hands so unexpectedly large and red, you felt disposed to chat with the young lady who looked after that branch of the business.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories