Laura > Laura's Quotes

“Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.”
― Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

“In my opinion, the only good spider is a dead spider, and women's rights aren't worth dick if they mean I can't ask a man to do my bug squashing.”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.”
― Janet Evanovich, Three to Get Deadly

“You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms."
Joe Morelli”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

“Holy Crap,' Carolli said. 'You shot Jesus. That's gonna take a lot of Hail Marys.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“I could use some help with an FTA.
What's your problem?
He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.”
― Janet Evanovich, Ten Big Ones

“He's a good man," Ranger said.
"And you?"
"I'm better.”
― Janet Evanovich, Lean Mean Thirteen

“I hate mornings. They start so early.”
― Janet Evanovich, Plum Spooky

“You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)”
― Janet Evanovich, Finger Lickin' Fifteen

“I took the stool next to him, raising an eyebrow at the coffee and cruller on the counter. "Thought you weren't into internal pollution," I said. Lately Ranger'd been on a health food thing.

"Props," Ranger told me. "Didn't want to look out of place."

I didn't want to burst his fantasy bubble, but the only time Ranger wouldn't look out of place would be standing in a lineup between Rambo and Batman.”
― Janet Evanovich, Three to Get Deadly

“Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?'
Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.'
Superheroes are make-believe.'
Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?”
― Janet Evanovich, Three to Get Deadly

“She'll be back," Ranger said. "But not tonight."
[Stephanie] "How'd you get her to leave?"
"Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for all other men, and so she might as well go home."
I could feel the heat rush to my face.
Ranger gave me the wolf smile. "I lied about it being tonight," he said.”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

“I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said.
Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good.”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

“Maybe I'm wrong," Mom said. "Maybe the world really is coming to an end."
"Should I try Fox News?" I asked.
Mom shuddered. "We're not that desperate," she said.”
― Susan Beth Pfeffer, Life As We Knew It

“Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three.”
― Janet Evanovich, Back to the Bedroom

“Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

“Destroying things is much easier than making them.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

“You here to finish me off, Sweetheart?”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

“Oh, and I suppose the apples ate the cheese.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

“Stupid people are dangerous.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

“So it's you and a syringe against the Capitol? See, this is why no one lets you make the plans.”
― Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire

“Gale is mine. I am his. Anything else is unthinkable.”
― Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire

“The idea of being strong for someone else having never entered their heads, I find myself in the position of having to console them. Since I'm the person going in to be slaughtered, this is somewhat annoying.”
― Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire

“I knew you'd kiss me."
"How?" I say. Because I didn't know myself.
"Because I am in pain," He say's. "That's the only way I get your attention.”
― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

“Thank God for the second amendment.”
― Jesse Petersen, Married with Zombies

“No one is going to abduct me, Rae."

"That's what all abductees say.”
― Lisa Lutz, The Spellman Files

“I knew immediately that this was not going to work out. Hunter is the kind of guy who dates women who wear high heels and a cocktail dress on a first date. I can't even walk in heels, and I generally believe that someone has to earn the right to see my legs.”
― Lisa Lutz, The Spellman Files