Quotes - Tascha (tascha71) (Dallas, TX) Showing 1-27 of 27

#1

“I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”
― Mae West

tags: humor

3106 likes

#2

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

tags: books, humor

151873 likes

#3

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

26432 likes

#4

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

18671 likes

#5

“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
― Winston S. Churchill

tags: humor, taste

5978 likes

#6

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
― Charles Lamb

2824 likes

#7

“There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

tags: fluke, humor

397 likes

#8

“It's hard to be a bright light in a dim world.”
― Gary Starta

346 likes

#9

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous

tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein

64720 likes

#10

“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add

tags: humor, misattributed-to-bill-gates, nerd, nerds, work

15552 likes

#11

“Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
― C.E.M. Joad

tags: creativity, humor, misattributed-to-einstein, paraphrased

13076 likes

#12

“Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?”
― Henry Ward Beecherr

tags: books, humor

7419 likes

#13

“There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)”
― D. J. MacHale, The Quillan Games

tags: clowns, humor, people

1395 likes

#14

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
― Robin Williams

tags: humor, men

2382 likes

#15

“If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me.”
― Alice Roosevelt Longworth

tags: gossip, humor, slander

823 likes

#16

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion

30274 likes

#17

“Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: absurd, cats, humor

1739 likes

#18

“Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.”
― Matt Groening, The Big Book of Hell

tags: humor, love, metaphor, simpsons

422 likes

#19

“A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.”
― James Beard

tags: food, humor

92 likes

#20

“People, generally, suck.”
― Christopher Moore, The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

tags: humor

2436 likes

#21

“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

tags: cats, humor, life

5171 likes

#22