Big Books of Spring

Lorrin L > Lorrin's Quotes

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  • #1
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    38022 likes

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  • #2
    Steve Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: humor, obvious, simile
    35269 likes

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  • #3
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein
    tags: cats, humor, women
    28831 likes

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  • #4
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34483 likes

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  • #5
    Jim Butcher
    “If you make some comment even obliquely alluding to menstruation or menopause and its effect on my judgment," Murphy interrupted, "I will break your arm in eleven places.”
    ― Jim Butcher, Changes
    tags: feminism, humor, karrin-murphy
    159 likes

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  • #6
    I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!
    “I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: humor, mankind, people
    18561 likes

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  • #7
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: fantasy, humor, scifi
    23480 likes

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  • #8
    Bill Watterson
    “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
    ― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
    tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life
    21214 likes

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  • #9
    Markus Herz
    “Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
    ― Markus Herz
    tags: books, health, humor, misattributed-mark-twain, misprints
    13742 likes

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  • #10
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
    tags: god, humor, life
    11631 likes

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  • #11
    Douglas Adams
    “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
    tags: attributed-no-source, humor, misattributed-douglas-adams, wit
    11374 likes

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  • #12
    Garrison Keillor
    “A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing.”
    ― Garrison Keillor
    tags: writing
    155 likes

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  • #13
    Salman Rushdie
    “A little bit of one story joins onto an idea from another, and hey presto, . . . not old tales but new ones. Nothing comes from nothing.”
    ― Salman Rushdie, Haroun and the Sea of Stories
    tags: allusion, creation, imagination
    23 likes

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  • #14
    Jim Henson
    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
    ― Jim Henson
    26434 likes

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  • #15
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: death, fear, humor, life
    25659 likes

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  • #16
    Alexandre Dumas fils
    “The difference between genius and stupidity is: genius has its limits.”
    ― Alexandre Dumas-fils
    tags: misattributed-to-einstein
    21529 likes

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  • #17
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
    tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
    21451 likes

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  • #18
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    18668 likes

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  • #19
    Mae West
    “I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, temptation
    7021 likes

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  • #20
    Lemony Snicket
    “Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
    ― Lemony Snicket
    tags: fate, humor, simile
    13149 likes

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  • #21
    “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
    ― Anthony G. Oettinger
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-groucho-marx, time
    6192 likes

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  • #22
    Chris Rock
    “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”
    ― Chris Rock
    9400 likes

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  • #23
    W.C. Fields
    “If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
    ― W.C. Fields
    7409 likes

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  • #24
    Stephen King
    “When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.”
    ― Stephen King, Storm of the Century
    tags: god, humor, religion
    7985 likes

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  • #25
    Woody Allen
    “I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: humor, life, sex
    6557 likes

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  • #26
    Steven Wright
    “Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
    ― Steven Wright
    tags: amnesia, humor, memory
    4689 likes

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  • #27
    George Burns
    “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
    ― George Burns
    tags: family, happiness, humor
    5598 likes

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  • #28
    Douglas Adams
    “The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
    ― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything
    tags: flight, flying, hg2g, humor
    4990 likes

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  • #29
    Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad
    “Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.”
    ― Tina Fey, Bossypants
    tags: humor
    3688 likes

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  • #30
    Charles Lamb
    “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
    ― Charles Lamb
    2823 likes



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Tags From Lorrin’s Quotes

animals
books
dogs
friends
humor
obvious
simile
cats
women
feminism
karrin-murphy
mankind
people
fantasy
scifi
calvin-and-hobbes
life
health
misattributed-mark-twain
misprints
god
attributed-no-source
misattributed-douglas-adams
wit
writing
allusion
creation
imagination
death
fear
misattributed-to-einstein
open-mind
thinking
temptation
fate
misattributed-to-groucho-marx
time
religion
sex
amnesia
memory
family
happiness
flight
flying
hg2g