Ali ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁·ꕤ > Ali ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁·ꕤ's Quotes

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#1

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

tags: attributed-no-source, best, life, love, misattributed-marilyn-monroe, mistakes, out-of-control, truth, worst

165855 likes

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#2

“If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

101802 likes

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#3

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories

tags: intelligence, self-deprecation

71840 likes

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#4

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion

30302 likes

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#5

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

tags: cats, humor, women

28848 likes

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#6

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
― Paul Terry

tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins

24397 likes

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#7

“Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

tags: humor

17987 likes

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#8

“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
― Lewis Carroll

tags: alice, humor, inspirational, philosophy-of-life, psychological, yesterday

17457 likes

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#9

“Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

tags: humor, rebellion, sarcasm

15165 likes

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#10

“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
― Markus Herz

tags: books, health, humor, misattributed-mark-twain, misprints

13736 likes

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#11

“Jesus!" Luke exclaimed.
"Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Although I've been told the resemblance is startling.”
― Cassandra Clare

tags: humor, jace-wayland, simon-lewis

13641 likes

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#12

“I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."
"Well," said Luke, "you're doing a fantastic job.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: clary-fray, demons, growing-up, humor, jace-wayland, luke, teenager

12343 likes

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#13

“This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.”
― George V. Higgins, The Friends of Eddie Coyle

tags: humor, life, misattributed-john-wayne

11398 likes

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#14

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
― Douglas Adams

tags: attributed-no-source, humor, misattributed-douglas-adams, wit

11385 likes

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#15

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: humor

9929 likes

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#16

“Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, writing

9644 likes

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#17

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
― George Carlin

tags: funny, humanity, humor

8875 likes

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#18

“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
― Jerome K. Jerome

tags: humor, work

8138 likes

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#19

“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.”
― Stephen King, Storm of the Century

tags: god, humor, religion

7983 likes

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#20

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

tags: humor

7891 likes

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#21

“Colonialism. The enforced spread of the rule of reason. But who is going to spread it among the colonizers?”
― Anthony Burgess

tags: colonialism, colonization, reason

35 likes

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#22

“Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth, follow only beauty, and obey only love.”
― Kahlil Gibran, The Vision: Reflections on the Way of the Soul

tags: beauty, love, rebellion, truth

145 likes

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Tags From Ali ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁·ꕤ’s Quotes

attributed-no-source
best
life
love
misattributed-marilyn-monroe
mistakes
out-of-control
truth
worst
intelligence
self-deprecation
humor
religion
cats
women
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
alice
inspirational
philosophy-of-life
psychological
yesterday
rebellion
sarcasm
books
health
misattributed-mark-twain
misprints
jace-wayland
simon-lewis
clary-fray
demons
growing-up
luke
teenager
misattributed-john-wayne
misattributed-douglas-adams
wit
writing
funny
humanity
work
god
colonialism
colonization
reason
beauty