John Appleton > John's Quotes

“And we danced, on the brink of an unknown future, to an echo from a vanished past.”
― John Wyndham, The Day of the Triffids

“Mankind can live free in a society hemmed in by laws, but we have yet to find a historical example of mankind living free in lawless anarchy.”
― Stephen Fry, The Ode Less Travelled: Unlocking the Poet Within

“Learn what the rest of the world is like. The variety is worthwhile.”
― Richard P. Feynman, Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!: Adventures of a Curious Character

“An over-excited accountant, like the University of Hull, is a contradiction in terms.”
― Tom Holt, Flying Dutch

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

“Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old.”
― Bill Bryson, A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail

“She was a classic beauty. She looked like a coin, so it was only natural for her to circulate.”
― Christopher Lee, Lord of Misrule

“The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22

“I was heading to Nebraska. Now there's a sentence you don't want to say too often if you can possibly help it.”
― Bill Bryson, The Lost Continent: Travels in Small-Town America

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe.
The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.
The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Black bears rarely attack. But here's the thing. Sometimes they do. All bears are agile, cunning and immensely strong, and they are always hungry. If they want to kill you and eat you, they can, and pretty much whenever they want. That doesn't happen often, but - and here is the absolutely salient point - once would be enough.”
― Bill Bryson, A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail

“Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight

“Men love women because they're the loveliest creatures on God's earth. Women love men because chocolate can't mow the lawn.”
― Guy Browning, Never Hit a Jellyfish With a Spade: How to Survive Life's Smaller Challenges

“A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things.”
― Bill Bryson, I'm a Stranger Here Myself: Notes on Returning to America After Twenty Years Away

“There is no meant to when it comes to feelings. You feel what you feel.”
― Lucy Clarke, The Hike

“Scientific medals do not make headlines, but stimulate aggression among those who never get any.”
― Thor Heyerdahl, Kon-Tiki

“The world had teeth and it could bite you with them anytime it wanted.”
― Stephen King, The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon

“I am thus able to report that the following are all real places: Wee Waa, Poowong, Burrumbuttock, Suggan Buggan, Boomahnoomoonah, Waaia, Mullumbimby, Ewlyamartup, Jiggalong, and the supremely satisfying Tittybong.”
― Bill Bryson, In a Sunburned Country

“If you have a better idea, if your plan makes more sense, if you have a vision, then put down your laundry and scream a little bit. Throw your hat into the ring, and never let professionals or their uniforms prevent you from telling anyone where to point their hose.”
― David Zucker, Surely You Can't Be Serious: The True Story of Airplane!

“O. J. Simpson was wonderfully stiff in both Capricorn One and The Towering Inferno. David: I directed him in the Naked Gun movies. Although he actually improved with each film, his acting remained a lot like his murdering—he got away with it, but no one really believed him.”
― David Zucker, Surely You Can't Be Serious: The True Story of Airplane!

“You’ve got a face longer than a Dickens novel. What’s the problem?”
― Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair

“We went back to the barn; I made love to her under the tarantula. What was the tarantula doing?”
― Jack Kerouac, On the Road

“...pressed together like two all-beef patties in a homoerotic double cheeseburger”
― J. Archer Avary, Prick

“Radio killed the vaudeville star”
― Bob Stanley, Let's Do It: The Birth of Pop

“Expect to feel pleasure. Knowledge is sexy. Expect to feel pain. Knowledge is torture. ”
― Jeff Noon, Vurt